


Amnesia: Memoirs

by SSSoto



Category: Amnesia: The Dark Descent
Genre: 19th Century, Abuse, Bullying, Child Abuse, F/M, Historical, Sexual Themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-16
Updated: 2016-06-12
Packaged: 2018-04-26 15:04:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 157,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5009299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SSSoto/pseuds/SSSoto
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"He wasn't particularly afraid of the dark, but he had always disliked going into the basement. As he stepped into the dark, he thought, 'I will never escape this'." Before becoming an affluent archaeologist in Victorian London, Daniel was of a whole other class. Discover his youth and learn how he became afraid of the dark; the truth behind all of Daniel's lost memories.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I'm SSSoto from fanfiction . net! I'm moving my story to this site as well just to test the waters and reach a larger audience. I'm going to settle with the prologue for now, but I'll update with a few chapters at a time in the near future, and most of the story is already published on fanfiction . net anyway, so you can always head on over there if you don't want to wait for the updates! I hope you'll enjoy my story and it will be received as warmly here as on fanfiction . net! :D

**1821**

” _Mum, will you please tell me a tale?”_

_Winter was just around the corner. The fire in the stove crackled, its warmth filling the whole of the fragile, small wooden cabin. Outside the wind was howling, as it so often did on stormy autumn evenings like these._

_Evelyn chuckled without turning away from her work and said, “Which one do you want to hear, darling?”_

“ _The one about Hazel!”_

 _She shook her head with a small grin. “Ah, the morning star.” Her four year old son had quickly chosen_ The Golden Morning Star _as his preferred fairytale, which did not surprise the mother as she herself favoured it. She paused while pondering how to start. “Once upon a time there was a barren and desolate land. Nothing existed but darkness, ashes and cold, and the people were miserable. The stars saw the land and knew that they alone would not be able to light it up, and so they collected all their stardust over one hundred years, and a girl was born from it. The girl grew in just one day and turned into a woman.”_

_Daniel worked eagerly on the pair of gloves Evelyn had let him sew, knowing he so badly wanted to help out with something._

_Evelyn smiled and continued her own work with the skirt, she was currently sewing, “A star came to the woman and named her Hazel. It gave her a candle and told Hazel to travel to the core of the world to light it up. Hazel accepted and started her journey. She followed the star to the entrance of the Underworld, for the star had said that only through there, you could get to the core.”_

_“Was she not scared?” Daniel asked, big, green eyes gawking at her. His face was still chubby, and the brown straight locks, so much like his father's, almost reached his shoulders already._

_His mother simply continued stitching the rim of the skirt. “She probably was, but during such dire circumstances one has to be brave, and Hazel was a strong gal.”_

_Daniel nodded silently._

_“Hazel arrived at the entrance. The guardian by the gate was merely a skeleton in an armour. The bony guard told her that to gain entrance to the Underworld, she must answer a riddle. Hazel accepted the challenge, and the guardian said, **You cannot see me, hear me or touch me. I lie behind the stars and alter what is real, I am what you really fear. Close your eyes and I come near. What am I?** ”_

_“May I answer, may I answer?” an excited Daniel put in, and Evelyn laughed wholeheartedly._

_“Of course, Dan.”_

_Daniel bit his lip and made a dramatic gesture with his hands, “The answer is … **the dark!** ”_

_Evelyn nodded. ”That is right. Hazel figured this out with help from the star.”_

_“Because the darkness hid behind it!” Daniel added._

_“Exactly. The guardian bowed down to Hazel and let her pass through the gate. Hazel and the star walked and walked some more, until they finally reached an abyss. There were dead bodies of lost souls all over, some completely rotten and others brand new. Over the cleft of nothingness hung a crumbling bridge, and just one step made it fall apart and tumble down the abyss.”_

_“Oh, how scary!” Daniel said as he halted in his work._

_“Yes, very. Hazel was indeed a very brave girl. And also very clever. She weaved a rope out of the hair of the dead. It was strong enough to carry Hazel, and she was able to climb over.”_

_“Wow,” Daniel mumbled._

_“Hazel and the star finally reached the core, but a terrifying, bloodthirsty dragon rested by the gate. The star told Hazel that she could not touch any of the golden treasures the dragon protected, or it would wake up and devour her.”_

_Daniel moved restlessly in his chair, completely engulfed in the story._

_“Hazel sneaked past the sleeping dragon, but when she neared the gate she could not resist all those gorgeous diamonds and jewels, and she touched them…”_

_“No!” Daniel exclaimed, and Evelyn tried her best not to laugh._

_“The dragon woke from its sleep and began chasing Hazel with a feverish blood thirst – but the star came to her rescue, and at the expense of Hazel's mistake, it burned out by the cold breath of the dragon.”_

_“Oh, Hazel! That poor little star!” The death of the star touched the little boy every time._

_Evelyn caressed her son's cheek and said, “Don't be sad, Daniel. Hazel avenges the star eventually, remember?”_

_Daniel nodded courageously and let her continue._

_“Hazel escaped just in time, and the gate closed behind her. She found herself in a completely dark room with only one light up ahead. Hazel got closer and saw that the light came from a candle with a silver flame. She reached out for it, and suddenly the flame grew large in an attempt to absorb her.”_

_The child held his breath._

_“Hazel got caught up in the flame, but as she was born of stardust, she did not burn – instead the flame turned gold and expanded. It filled the core, and Hazel dashed to the sky. She kept burning her golden light and became the brightest star in the heavens, the star we know as the sun and light, and the land became fertile,” Evelyn finished her story._

_Daniel let out a relieved sigh and chattered with a such restored spirit that only an innocent child could muster, “And that was how the morning star came to be! Our sun!”_

_“Exactly, my darling!” Evelyn said with a loving smile and poked the boy's button nose._

_It was indeed nothing more than an ordinary autumn evening filled with fairy tales, fire in the stove and stitchery, all while mother and son waited for father to return home._

 

* * *

**1823**

He was still in shock. He remembered so clearly how his mother had kicked, screamed, battled only a few hours earlier.

He saw her body surrender and her hands become weak. He saw the extended, agitated arms struggle against some invisible force in an attempt to defy it – but she lost, and so her arms fell lifelessly to the couch.

At least he had not seen her face. He did not see the pain in her eyes as the life slipped out of her.

But six year old Daniel did not think about all of that. He did not understand it. The only thing, he knew, was the pain and confusion. His mother had brutally been taken from him, and he had nothing to hold onto.

Only Hazel.

The little boy was sitting on the shabby armchair next to the couch. He stared monotonously at nothing. The newborn baby lay on the couch. She did not cry any more; she was sound asleep.

She had opened her eyes only few minutes after the birth. Her eyes were a greyish blue colour, not green like Daniel's. Father had simply handed her over to Daniel and focused on Evelyn afterwards. Daniel was ordered to provide the baby a towel and hot water.

Daniel sat on his knees next to the infant and monitored her sleeping form. The memory of his mother's tales by the fire on cold winter nights once again brought tears to his eyes, but he stubbornly wiped them away.

The girl took in calm breaths without trouble. She seemed so tiny and fragile.

He moved once again to sit up on the couch right beside the baby, still merely observing the small being. She resembled a doll. He did not dare touch her, for what if he broke her? Surely Mum would be disappointed.

The door opened, and a tall, tired man with locks just as chocolate as his son stepped inside. He trudged into the living room with slouched shoulders and carelessly threw his jacket and boots by the coat stand.

Dark circles haunted Father's eyes; he looked so sad. Daniel could not help but wonder if his dad would start crying. Probably not, for men did not weep; that, Father himself had taught him.

John Wilkinson did not even grant his son a glance as he dragged himself to the humble kitchen by the living room. Burying his deceased wife seemed to have taken its toll.

“Father?”

John grunted. Daniel hesitated a moment before he continued, “Can… Can I call her Hazel?”

His father rummaged the cupboards while mumbling, “What… Where are they …? Bloody hell…”

He tried once again, “Dad …?”

“Name the baby whatever you want.” The man stood up and shut the cupboard with a beer in his hand. “But do not trust she will make it. I am going to sign her up for the funeral clubs next week. I will not bother to have her baptised till she is at least two years of age.”

The boy held his breath and nodded.

John walked over to the ramshackle staircase and moved to ascend upstairs to the master bedroom. It used to be Mum and Dad living up there; only John resided there now.

Daniel bit his lip, then spoke hastily before he would regret, “But you will cancel her membership once she turns two, right?”

John again mumbled something indistinct, but it sounded like a confirmation.

Daniel crossed his fingers, fully determined to keep his baby sister alive. John merely walked upstairs and drowned himself in his loneliness and sorrow – and the first bottle of many.

 


	2. Alone in the Dark

 

**1826**

The sun hung high in the sky, which meant that the day was still long. Daniel did his best to distract himself, but unfortunately it was hard to follow along the lesson like that.

The boy gathered himself and moved his gaze to the blackboard. Mr. Harrison noted various facts beside the messy sketch of what was supposed to be a systematic model of the catholic church. The class did not utter one word, for no one wanted a stroke with the cane.

“The protestants did not want the people to only have access to God through the church. Why did the church disagree? Come on, lads, we've been through this three times just this week!” Mr. Harrison let out an exhausted sigh, placing his hands on his hips.

Daniel knew the answer. He read about the reformation and Luther's revolution a long time ago out of own interest. For an eight year old, the boy definitely had some brains, and his own enthusiasm concerning history did help quite a lot.

But he didn't raise his hand. Instead, he slowly sank down in his seat, praying not to be noticed. Unfortunately, the lecturer also knew well about Daniel's skills. “Mr. Wilkinson, surely you know the answer? Speak up, son.”

Daniel felt everyone's eyes on him. He was always the unlucky one. Swallowing a lump in his throat, he managed to stutter, “Oh… Eh, I-I actually don't know, Mr. Harrison…”

“Nonsense! Don't be shy!” Mr. Harrison urged on. There was no escape.

Daniel mentally prepared himself for the day's carnage and cleared his throat, “Um… Because they wanted people to communicate with God through the church.”

“And why exactly did they want that?”

“… Because that way they could keep making money off their faith, sir.”

“Correct! Good job, Daniel.”

A soft cough made Daniel turn to the seat a few rows behind him. Henry Bedloe sent the boy a glare that could make even the most vicious dog retreat with its tail far low between its legs.

Daniel turned around again. His hands were shaking.

* * *

Daniel dragged himself home, his legs barely even able to carry him. It had been a rough day at school and work, and he had not eaten since breakfast, so all the boy wanted was to sit down at home and devour a good evening's meal.

He fumbled with the key, pushed the door open and trudged in. John immediately came running down the stairs with the toolbox in hand. “Don't take off your shoes, Daniel, we're going to the studio” he said as he put on his coat.

Daniel hesitated for a moment, but his growling stomach made him ask, “… What about dinner?”

“No dinner today.”

John snatched a beer from his personal stock in the cupboard and went past his son out the door. Daniel shot the kitchen a last longing glance before following his father.

* * *

“Has Hazel been fed?”

“Yes, I told you, now shut your mouth and get to work.”

Father was moody again, and Daniel knew it would serve him best to just avoid making him angry. It certainly did not help the case that the man had emptied seven whole bottles in less than three hours.

John only faltered slightly from the alcohol, still able to make those incredibly straight strokes on the vase. Daniel was always captivated, absolutely fascinated by any of his father's masterpieces. The man took such pride in them, performing every bit of work with delicacy.

Daniel tried to concentrate on his work, but his thoughts kept drifting to his darling baby sister. He had not seen her all day and he was worried that she might have been neglected, knowing that his father did not care much for her.

“Daniel, go grab the red tint in the basement.”

The boy looked up from the chair leg, he was grinding. An alarm was wailing in the back of his mind. “D-do I really have to?”

John's drunken glare was answer enough.

Working with his dad in the studio was not exactly Daniel's favourite pastime, but if anything, he especially did not appreciate the cellar. He wasn't particularly afraid of the dark, but he had always disliked going into the basement.

Daniel put his work aside and moved towards the door. He paused, staring into the void. Shadows crept along the corners, waiting for him.

“Get going, boy!”

He jumped at the shout. His father urged him on to fetch the red dye. He turned his gaze to the stairs again, swallowing hard. As he stepped into the dark, he thought, _I will never escape this._

The basement had always been unusually dark. Even if Daniel brought a lantern, the light would not be enough to illuminate the twilight. It would just lurk around the light source, exactly as it did the star in the story about Hazel. But that did not matter anyway, as it would be impractical to carry the tools needed from the basement with one hand restricted to the oil lamp.

He could just about reach the paint, but as he tried to slide it off the shelf, he unfortunately pushed one of the others. The blue coloured tint came crashing down. His father heard the jar break and yelled from upstairs.

One simple mistake could be fatal. It seemed like the dark was laughing at him.

He cried like the little boy he was. All alone in the dark basement, broken glass tearing at the flesh of his naked feet, and blood mixed with blue tint. There was no need for punishment. He could already feel the sting of his father's belt.

 _Mum_ , Daniel thought as the tears blurred his vision, _I miss you._

* * *

The days became longer as summer neared, and almost six months had passed since Hazel turned two years old – still she hadn't been baptised. It really bothered Daniel, but how should he tell his dad?

John was a fluid man; some days he just locked himself up in his room all day. Others, he could not think about anything but work, and Daniel was to follow along. The boy did not dare protest.

Then there were days, he just wanted to work away all on his own. This was one of those days, and Daniel utilised it to spend time with his sister.

Hazel squeezed the plush bunny Daniel had given her on her first birthday, which she suitably had named Mr. James. “Danny!”

“Come on, Hazel, stand up!” Daniel reached encouragingly out for her, kneeling down to be at eye level with his sister.

Hazel sat on the floor with Mr. James, her eyes squinted in concentration. Her eyes had become green like Daniel and Evelyn's – only John had grey eyes – and she had acquired the same rich, sandy blonde hair her mother used to have. She placed her hands on the ground for support and got up on her feet – then fell right back on her bum again.

Daniel tried his best to hold back his laughter. The toddler pouted, “I can't, Danny!”

“Of course you can,” her older brother said, “You've done it before! Now try again!”

Hazel got a determined look on her face, “You will tell fairytale?”

Daniel nodded with a small grin. Hazel had already grasped the concept of negotiations at the age of two; if big brother wanted something from her, he would have to offer something in return.

A bright smile appeared on her face. She elevated herself from the floor so eagerly that she almost got overbalance, but she managed to stay upright. Carefully, she took a tentative step.

Daniel bit his bottom lip and cheered her on, “Good, Hazel! Keep going!”

Though wavering a bit, she was moving. She staggered on her short legs, closing the distance between her and Daniel till she was midway, then came to a halt. He tilted his head in confusion, motioning for her to continue. “Come on, sis, you're almost there!”

Hazel still hesitated, so Daniel strategically made his next move, “You want to hear the story about the morning star, right?”

That did it. The little girl gleamed with excitement and ran the last few steps right into her brother's arms. Daniel embraced her and lifted her up, “Good girl, Hazel!”

“Wee!” Hazel cheered, “Fairytale now!”

“All right, all right!” Daniel chuckled and put her down, “But I need to make dinner for Father, so you will have to accompany me in the kitchen to hear it.”

Hazel did not seem to mind, as she freed herself from Daniel's arms and employed her newly found skills to rush out to the kitchen on her small feet.

Daniel gaped at her, but quickly recovered from the shock and hurried after her, “Hazel!”

* * *

Daniel finished the fairytale by the time the dinner was ready. “And that was how the morning star came to be!”

“The sun!” Hazel giggled, giving Mr. James a squeeze.

Right then the front door opened, letting in a stench of liquor that continued to permeate throughout the rest of the small house. Hazel didn't light up the way she did when Daniel returned home. Instead her smile vanished and she recoiled.

John entered with heavy steps, slamming the door behind him. He didn't seem to be in a very good mood – but then again, he usually wasn't. He kicked off his boots and threw the jacket on the floor, not bothering to hang it on the coat stand.

Daniel hurried to prepare the dinner on a plate and put it on the table. John didn't even glance at the food. He merely walked past the table to the cupboard, grabbed a bottle, and then turned to leave the kitchen again.

The sturdy man's son stared for a moment in shock, then blinked vigorously and blurted, “Father! Aren't you going to eat?”

John halted and finally spared the plate on the table a look. He picked it up and studied the food, then threw it in the dustbin. “I am not hungry.”

Daniel looked down into the dustbin on the wasted food he had spent almost an hour preparing. “Um… What about the baptising?”

“What?” John stalled again, but did not turn around to look at his son.

“You said that we could baptise Hazel when she turned two… A-and that you would cancel her membership in the funeral club” Daniel continued while fidgeting with the sleeves of his old, baggy shirt.

His father stood for a while, not moving an inch. It made Daniel wonder if he actually considered his words. But in the end John only gave a grunt as response, then went to his room. Daniel's shoulders slouched in exhausted disappointment.

Almost as if on cue, Hazel suddenly began coughing.

Daniel raised his eyebrows and looked at her. The small coughs turned into a minor seizure. He felt the panic spread throughout his body, as he hurriedly sat down beside her and rubbed her back, “Hazel, what's wrong?”

Hazel was unable to tell him. As the coughs became more violent, she squeezed Mr. James tighter and clutched her small chest. Daniel's anxiety grew and he didn't know what to do.

But then, just as abruptly as it had started, the coughing ceased. Hazel seemed a bit shocked as she tried to regain her breath. Daniel coached her, “Slowly, Hazel. Take it slow!”

She took a couple of deep breaths along with Daniel, and then it was all over. She stood frozen in her place for a short moment, then suddenly returned to her normal self again, as if nothing had happened. She looked at Daniel with a big smile, “Tell me one more!”

Daniel was a bit taken aback by the whole episode, as sudden as it had been. He managed to give his sister a small laugh, the hesitant smile reflecting his uncertainty. Hazel rushed out to the living room and sat down to play with the toys Daniel had made for her in Father's studio.

In all honesty, Daniel had become really worried. This was not the first time Hazel had had a seizure like that. He did not dare admit it to himself earlier, but something was very wrong with his sister. She had to see a physician.

 


	3. Playmates

The mill was located by the Great River Stour on a lovely meadow on the outskirts of Canterbury. The sun had risen and was now spreading its warmth, definitely letting one know that summer had arrived. Daniel had decided to take plenty of shifts this summer; Hazel's condition was only getting worse, and he did not want to ask his father for a fee, so working full-time the whole school vacation seemed like the most sensible thing to do.

The miller was as strict as usual. Daniel worked several hours away by carrying grain sacks to and from the storage and loading the cart with flour. Not until noon was Daniel finally allowed some fresh air, as he was sent down the river to fetch some water from the well.

The young boy skipped down the riverbank, wiping the dirt and sweat away from his face with the back of his hand. He didn't notice her right away, too caught up in the landscape and his own thoughts, but there she was, all of a sudden, on the other side of the river.

She appeared to be a little younger than him and was wearing a white dress with a salmon ribbon tied around the waist. Her hair was almost black; sunlight revealed the brown tint. It was tied firmly into a French braid and reached the mid of her back.

Daniel was going to ignore her and continue down to the well, but her big brown doe eyes – and the fact that she seemed to be lost, for she definitely didn't belong in a place like this – made him stop and ask, “Excuse me, miss, can I help you?”

She blushed and averted her gaze down towards the green grass. Her small hands started fidgeting with the hem of the long skirt. “Do you want to play with me?”

Daniel raised his eyebrows. He did not usually play with children his own age. He had once foolishly taken part in some games with his class, but Henry Bedloe had made sure to turn it into a nightmare. Daniel had learned that he couldn't trust anyone but his sister the hard way.

He hesitated shortly, “I… I can't. I have to work.”

Disappointment draped her chubby face. Her cheeks flushed a bright pink colour. She fixed her gaze on the two buckets Daniel was carrying, obviously wanting to avoid his eyes. Daniel suddenly felt bad about rejecting her; she clearly had mustered up a lot of courage to ask. He pondered if he should say any more, but instead he just stood there with a bucket in each hand and felt like a classic fool.

She seemed to grow uncomfortable with the silence. She swayed her skirt slightly, “Were you not supposed to work?”

Daniel blinked. He looked back in the direction he came from, then turned his gaze towards the girl again and muttered, “Yes… I was…”

“Aren't only adults supposed to work?” she asked all of a sudden. Her shyness seemed to recede a bit.

“We have been short of money lately.”

It wasn't a complete lie. Even though they _would_ have enough money to provide for themselves – if Daniel's father didn't spend it all on alcohol – John still didn't work enough hours to be able to afford a doctor on his salary alone. Only working when one felt like it did not raise the sale.

“Oh,” the girl said. She was lost in her own thoughts for a short while before she looked at him again with her big eyes, tilting her head and tentatively continuing, “I can give you money?”

Those words caught Daniel's attention. He gave her a sceptic look. “Why would your parents want to give a poor boy like me money?”

The younger girl shrugged. “I don't know.”

Daniel shifted his weight onto his other leg, tilted his head and raised an eyebrow, beckoning for her to continue, “So ...?”

Her eyes widened momentarily as she blushed. She kicked a stone on the ground and averted her gaze once again, “I just really want someone to play with…”

He just kept gazing at her with a thoughtful look. Something told him that this girl had at least as much difficulty socialising with other children as he had.

The girl patiently waited for a response, but the patience slipped up faster than she probably would have liked it to. Her slightly tanned complexion turned red. She started tripping, and suddenly she blurted, “I'll give you money if you play with me today!”

Daniel was caught a bit off-guard. He frowned, “Really? Are you sure? You don't even know what I need them for. I might just be paying for my father's alcohol!”

The lass obviously didn't know how to respond to a statement like that. She blinked, “What?”

Daniel shook his head at himself, feeling like an idiot. Why was he acting so foolish? If all he had to do to make some extra coppers was to play with a confused little girl, he really shouldn't be throwing away his chance. What was there to lose?

On the other hand, the girl could be lying. And if she wasn't, her easy access to money could mean one thing only – something that Daniel had had a nagging feeling of all along – she was most likely the daughter of a wealthy man. And if that was the case, Daniel was already finding himself on dangerous territory just by talking to her. If it was found out, Daniel wouldn't get any money and he most certainly would be severely punished by not only his father, but also the girl's family. It was a great risk.

But the thought of Hazel made Daniel consider it one last time. Anyone could tell that her health wasn't the best it could be. She needed this, and he would do anything for his sister, even if it meant spending a few nights locked up in the cellar. It was well worth it.

“All right, then,” he said, “How much money and when?”

The girl glanced at the sun. “When are you finished working?”

“At six o'clock in the evening,” Daniel answered, eyeing the girl. He still felt that he needed to be cautious.

“Meet me by the bridge at six. I'll give you a shilling,” she said coyly.

Daniel gaped. A whole shilling! Not only would he be able to afford the physician, Hazel could actually be treated with this kind of money! That is, if her condition wasn't too severe.

“Deal!” He stood right up. Now the work just had to be over and done with! “I need to hurry along, miss! I'll see you later!”

The girl waved as he rushed down the river.

* * *

The sun was still ever as vibrant by evening. Daniel worked twice as efficiently as usual and even earned himself a couple of compliments from the miller for his good work. He was elated. If that lass kept her promise, Hazel would finally be able to get the treatment she needed!

The miller let Daniel off early. The boy bowed gratefully and thanked him many times before he ran off to his special appointment. He wandered down the river feeling very pleased. A bit further down the bridge came into sight, and there she was, waiting for him. She was picking flowers by the riverside.

She caught sight of him and waved timidly. He blushed and waved back at her, not used to dealing with girls of nobility. As he reached her, she put out her hand with a single coin. “There you go, one shilling. Is it all right?”

Daniel almost didn't dare touch the money, afraid that it might vanish into thin air by his touch. “How did you get a hold of this?”

“I just told Daddy that Mum wanted a new necklace,” she said, averting her eyes to her shiny patent leather shoes.

“Won't they notice?”

“No, Dad does not care about Mum's jewellery. She buys new stuff all the time.”

Daniel nodded and reached to grab the coin tentatively – it didn't vanish. He studied it from every angle. He had never before held such a great amount of money in his hands!

“Are we going to play now?”

Daniel looked at the girl again. Her dark brown hair was no longer in a braid; instead it was let loose, cascading down her small shoulders and back in soft waves. She was actually a pretty one. He nodded with a big grin.

She smiled back at him even wider. “So, what is your name? Mine is Serena da Silva!”

“My name is Daniel James Wilkinson, Miss da Silva,” Daniel said, suddenly recalling his manners.

Serena looked at him in wonder. “Your hair is pretty,” she murmured as she stroked one of his shoulder length, brown locks, causing the older boy to blush.

“Thank you. Yours, too, Miss da Silva.”

Serena picked a reticule from her pocket and sat down in the lush grass. Daniel sat down curiously in front of her, beaming as he saw the marbles roll out of the pouch. “Do you know the rules?” Serena asked.

Daniel nodded heartily. “Yes, I used to play with my mother! But my dad threw them out a couple of years ago.”

She gaped at him in disbelief. “Why would he do a such thing?”

“He said that I was too old to be playing with toys…” Daniel mumbled, remembering how his father had tossed out all of his toys back when he was only five years of age.

“Oh,” Serena said, giving him a look of empathy. She probably never had had to deal with anyone taking her beloved toys away from her ever. “But I can be your playmate! I mean, if you want me to… As long as I won't have to pay you every time.”

Daniel shook his head rapidly. “I would never expect that of you, miss!”

Serena giggled, “Just call me Serena, silly!” She had finally prepared the marbles as she handed Daniel his. The children played the rest of the evening away. By the time they said goodnight, Daniel had completely forgotten how uncomfortable he had felt at first. They met several times that summer.

* * *

Only a few days after Serena so generously had given Daniel the shilling, he called in a physician. Father was in the studio, so Daniel didn't have to explain why a doctor was in need, nor where he had gotten the money – fortunately.

Doctor Tate was a man late in his thirties with an excellent medical degree and a nice pair of square glasses. He actually lived in London, but he frequently visited Canterbury Hospice and several other clinics in the county. When the local hospital heard about Hazel's symptoms, they contacted him, knowing that with the kind of money Daniel could pay, he should have a professional treat her.

The physician crouched in front of the couch with a stethoscope against Hazel's naked chest. She had had a strong reaction to the cold metal at first, but had slowly gotten used to it, calming down completely when Daniel took her hand. “Take a deep breath, dear,” the man said. Hazel did as she was told.

Tate had a serious look on his gentle face when he packed up. Daniel helped Hazel get her nightgown on again while the Doctor explained his deduction, “I hear a faint rasp in her breathing.”

Daniel frowned and fisted his hands. “Is it serious?”

“I can't tell, she is still too young. But don't be too worried yet, a lot of people can manage an ordinary life in spite of a lung defect.”

He nodded, not liking the sound of his sister having difficulties with her respiration. Doctor Tate noted in his journal, then ripped the page and gave it to Daniel. “I recommend you get her a ceramic inhaler that she can breathe hot water infusions from daily. It will help clear her airways. Feed her a spoonful of laudanum if she experiences any coughing attacks.”

Daniel nodded once more, the Doctor's words making him feel even more miserable, as providing Hazel with an inhaler seemed completely unrealistic with the budget he had to work with. Apparently his worry was evident; Tate put a hand on his shoulder and said, “It will be fine, son. An inhaler is not very expensive, and your sister's condition is not too severe.”

_Yet._

The word echoed in the back of Daniel's mind, but he forced a smile.

Hazel sat on the couch, hugging Mr. James tightly. She did not understand why Daniel looked so sad or who the man was. She did not understand what they were talking about – but she knew one thing, and that was that she didn't like seeing Daniel upset.

She brought a hand to her chest as she felt a sting.


	4. Reunion

She would always be there.

Every evening after work, Serena would walk along the river bank and pick flowers. She wore a new dress every day.

Daniel didn't mind. In fact, he was overjoyed whenever he saw her. It felt like a ball of warm, positive energy starting in his tummy, then spreading throughout the rest of his body.

The physician didn't cost a whole shilling, but Serena refused to take the rest of the money back. She insisted on Daniel buying something nice for himself, so he went into town to obtain the inhaler and medicine for Hazel; he couldn't think of a better investment after what Tate had said.

Daniel shuffled merrily down the trail leading into the village as he came by a small, run-down farm. The old rusty well, the ruined fences and the overgrowth contributed to make the place look abandoned, and it had been this way for years – but everyone knew very well that the lot was occupied. The owner had never made any effort to fix this place up.

Daniel slowed down, making sure that his steps were silent. This was a place, where he always would be cautious. The dry gravel on the ground crackled with his every step, and he flinched. He didn't like it here. On any other day, he would've taken the longer route to the city centre, but today Hazel didn't feel very well, so he wanted to take the short-cut so he could return home earlier.

He was making progress. Not until he finally neared the main courtyard of the small farm did he suddenly hear an angry female voice thunder across the lot, followed by a bunch of aggressive slapping sounds. Daniel felt his heart skip a beat by the sheer shock. He had no idea what was going on, but his gut was telling him that it would be best to slip by unnoticed, so he quickly sought shelter behind the barn.

“ _How_ can you be so _dumb?_ Why am I burdened with such a retarded _brat_ like you? _**Are you even listening to me?**_ _”_

Daniel peeked out from his cover; there, in the courtyard, were Henry Bedloe and his mother.

Henry's mother had once been a beautiful woman, but the alcohol and depression had aged her. Her dirty blonde hair was thin and greying, and dark circles, wrinkles and blemishes haunted her face. Her back had become completely hunched and she looked way too thin. Henry didn't utter a single word even though the woman slapped him several times. She had a firm grip on his arm, which he tried his hardest to break free of, but his attempts were futile. He did his best to keep from crying, but Daniel saw the tears well up.

“Oh, so you're also a baby now, huh? You're so useless! Just get back to work!” the mother mocked again, pushing Henry to the ground. Daniel gasped when the boy received a kick to his stomach. A piercing cry resonated throughout the courtyard.

“ _ **Shut it!** ”_

Henry curled up with an arm across his abdomen, biting back his sobs. Daniel's thoughts were stirring in a big mess, and the only thing he knew was that he needed to get out of there immediately. He sneaked further back behind the barn in an attempt to go in another direction, but as he was about to run towards the other end of the courtyard, Henry's mother suddenly came strolling, and he had to jump back into his cover.

Daniel turned his gaze back towards Henry. The quite sturdy boy was shaking, his blond hair was dirty and greasy from a hard day's labour – and abuse, probably. The younger one didn't know if Henry was going to be all right, but he didn't feel like hanging around to find out in case Henry didn't appreciate his concern, which was very likely.

When the mother was completely out of sight, and Henry hadn't moved for almost ten minutes, Daniel saw his chance to escape. He slipped silently out of his hiding spot and walked along the edges of the courtyard, and when he finally reached the main path on the other side, he started running.

* * *

The summer went by fast. Daniel and Serena spent most of it together – that was, when Daniel didn't have work to do at home, the studio or the miller's. He turned nine in late July, and Serena insisted on celebrating it.

Now, _that_ was something Daniel wasn't used to. At first he was speechless, unable to try and convince her that it wasn't a big deal, but when the girl showed up with a basket full of muffins, he simply had to argue. “Miss da Silva, you are too kind! The money you gave me was already far too much…”

Serena merely giggled at him, “Oh Daniel, don't be daft! I enjoyed baking these cakes for you!” She paused for a moment to rethink her words, then shrugged. “Or at least the maid did.”

Daniel laughed at her, unable to keep from smiling. Even though Serena hadn't made the muffins herself, he still had never experienced such interest from another person in celebrating him ever before, whether the occasion was his birthday, good grades, or something else entirely.

The children spent the warm summer day on the meadow, just enjoying their cupcakes while conversing. Daniel usually had difficulty opening up, but he found Serena very affable. It seemed that the younger lass wasn't so shy after all. “Now, tell me about your baby sister,” she said, “You always mention how you have to care for her, so you cannot blame me for being curious!”

Daniel chewed and swallowed his muffin, “She is still very young, so I have to look after her.”

She took another cake, laughing at the obvious statement. “Yes, I figured! I'm not _that_ dense, Daniel. But I'm just wondering, isn't your nanny supposed to do that?”

He looked at her with surprise. “Why would you think that? Were you looked after by a nanny?”

Serena nodded, as if it were a matter of course. Daniel mentally reminded himself to reconsider the wealth of this girl's family. He turned his gaze to the half eaten muffin in his hand. “No, we aren't as fortunate. Besides, she is ill, so she needs a lot of attention…”

“What about your parents? Are they not taking care of her?” Serena asked while unwrapping her muffin.

Daniel shook his head. “Um… My father is much too busy working.” A little white lie never harmed anyone.

“And your mother?” Serena tilted her head with a curious look.

Daniel swallowed, hoping that Serena didn't notice how he tried to avoid her gaze. “My mother passed away nearly three years ago, Miss da Silva.”

“Oh.”

He gripped the cake so tightly, it began to granulate between his fingers. Serena's eyes locked on the crumbling muffin, her voice softening, “I'm sorry about that.”

“Don't be, it's not your fault whatsoever.” He shrugged, hoping that it would come off as casual.

Serena was quiet for a short while, only to open her mouth again shortly after, asking a new question, “Was that why you needed the money? For your ill sister?”

Daniel nodded silently, unwilling to offer much else of a respond. She turned her gaze to enjoy the view of the countryside landscape. Canterbury was truly idyllic in the summer. All the colours of the rainbow embellished the meadow in form of flowers flourishing in the heat of the sun. “What is her condition, if I may ask?”

“Lung defect,” Daniel said without further ado as he followed her eyes out to the meadow. He felt strangely comfortable confiding in Serena like this.

“I'm sorry.”

“She is not dying!”

It came out a bit harsher than intended. The look on Serena's face made Daniel want to slap himself. He quickly altered his tone, “She can get through this… Doctor Tate told me that many live a normal life in spite of a lung defect.”

Serena's expression softened as she offered a cheerful smile. “Of course, there is nothing to worry about! If she is anything like you, she will be fine!”

Daniel raised an eyebrow. “How would you know? You hardly know me… We have only spent a single summer together, and it's not even over yet.”

“Oh, I can tell!”

Now he raised both brows. Serena grinned at him. “You should have more faith in yourself, Daniel!”

Daniel looked at her for a moment, unsure what to think. He found that he couldn't find a way to respond to a statement like that, so he changed the subject instead, “Oh! Um, well, why don't you tell me about yourself, now?”

Serena didn't seem to mind the sudden change of topic. “Oh, Daniel! When this summer ends, I am going to start school!”

He tilted his head. “Which school?” He secretly hoped that she would be attending the same school as him, even though he doubted it. A girl of the upper class like her didn't belong in a public school for working class children.

“I don't know, but Mum told me that it is a really superb one! But it means that I need to go home soon.”

Daniel looked at her disappointed. “Already? But it's not even dinner time yet!”

Serena giggled, “No, not now, dummy! I mean that I soon have to return to London.”

Daniel's eyes widened. He sharply turned towards the girl beside him. “ _London?_ You live in London?”

She looked at him bewildered, nodding. He collected himself again for a moment, then blurted, “Why haven't you told me?” But soon, the sudden outrage was replaced by genuine interest, “Oh, what is it like there? Isn't it huge? How are the museums?”

Serena seemed overwhelmed. “Please, calm down! I don't know much, we have only just moved there.”

“Where did you live before, then?” Daniel suddenly had a lot of questions.

“Dad is a businessman, so I have been travelling a lot with him and Mum,” Serena said while raking up straws of the grass beside her, “But now we have finally settled down in London. I am going to start school late by one year, but Mummy told me that it will be fine…”

Serena seemed wistful. Daniel didn't know why, but he decided not to ask. Instead he said, “Then what are you doing in Canterbury?”

“Father bought a cottage,” Serena said, grabbing a new muffin, “It's our first summer out here. Truthfully, there really isn't much to do, all I do is play dolls with my older sisters. I was really bored until I met you!”

Daniel tried in vain to hide a blush, not daring to admit that he actually felt the same way, nor how much he was going to miss her when she would be leaving for London. “You're lucky,” he mumbled, “I would love to live in London.”

“I am just so excited for the balls!” Serena looked to the horizon dreamily, “I want to go out and dance! But I'm not old enough yet.”

“Then there will be plenty of time to practise your dancing,” Daniel commented.

Serena puffed. “I am already practising! The governess just started teaching me last year.”

“Oh. Well, that would make one of us.”

She turned towards him, an almost comical look of disbelief draped over her face. “Are you not practising yet? Those dances aren't easy, you know!”

“But I don't have a governess to teach me how to dance,” Daniel said in a vague attempt to justify his case.

“Oh, it's actually pretty simple, really! Come, I'll show you!”

Daniel wanted to laugh at Serena's contradicting herself, but he didn't have time as she dragged him up on his feet to teach him how to dance, with no possible chance of arguing on his part.

* * *

Daniel hurried carrying the last cargo into the storage before finally finishing up. Wiping the dirt and sweat off his face with his just as dirty hand, he ran out past the miller, yelling his goodbyes as he ran down the path along the Stour. Miller simply waved at him, knowing the boy had done his work for the day.

It was almost five o'clock. Daniel rushed until he reached the end of the trail, then sharply turned to the right. The main road towards the village seemed never-ending, but the boy was quickly closing the distance – it wasn't the town he was headed for, though. Midway down the course, he turned to the left, now running straight across the meadow.

The overgrowth made it difficult to move fast, but nothing could stop Daniel. It was a race against time and nature. The sun announced the highlight of the day.

He finally saw it; a bit further ahead, a road appeared, and right by it, a great white mansion the size of a palace, he was sure. He had only seen this mansion once before, but he recognised it at once. A coach with four majestic horses fastened in the front stood waiting. Daniel increased his speed as he ran down the hill towards the lot. For a short moment he actually thought that he could make it.

Then the view was obscured by the row of tall oak trees in front of the house. He ignored them, determined to make it. It was now or never; it might be his last chance.

He put the trees behind him, finally seeing the mansion right ahead. He reached it just in time to see the coach stroll away towards the Great Dover Road headed for London.

Daniel halted, nearly collapsing on the dirty gravel out of exhaustion. He took a few strained breaths, supporting his hands on his thighs, then gathered his last strength and lifted his arm to wave at the coach.

_Farewell, Serena._

* * *

**1827**

A year went by. With all the work, exhaustion and caring for his family, Daniel really just wanted the summer to encompass England, and finally June came along with its long days and blooming nature. The boy decided to take a walk, just strolling around the rural areas. In his opinion, this part of Canterbury was the most beautiful; the scent of the many wild flowers filled his nostrils, and the cool breeze made the heat bearable. This was the place he had spent most of last summer with Serena.

Daniel couldn't help himself from thinking about the girl, who had brightened up his day for a short while – especially not now that he was nearing her family's cottage. Great oak trees came into sight, reaching high up against the sky, and behind them was the mansion. A tall marble wall encircled the house, every now and then replaced by a fence or bushes, making it possible for Daniel to take a peek inside the garden.

His eyes widened, his heart shooting up into his throat. The house was not empty.

Three beautiful women sat under a gazebo in the patio, thorny roses twining up against the white pillars, drinking tea. One of them was a young girl, not quite a lady yet. Her skin was fairly tanned, which was highly unusual considering her blonde hair. She engaged actively in conversation with her party.

The second one was a young woman, at least of the age of marriage, with dark, voluminous hair. It was longer and curlier than any other hair, Daniel had ever laid eyes upon before, but she didn't even tie it up. She seemed to be the one talking the most out of the women, charismatically relating some apparently incredibly humorous story, causing the others to laugh loudly.

The last woman was considerably older, still very handsome, though. Her hair was nearly raven like the former lady, and her skin even more tanned than the blonde young girl, making Daniel wonder how she couldn't possibly be a servant, as she obviously wasn't, considering her exquisite dressing. Her regular remarks seemed to bring about scandalised – yet entertained – outbursts from her peers.

A shout, followed by loud laughter grabbed Daniel's attention, making him turn his focus away from the tea party to another part of the large garden. There, Daniel caught sight of two younger girls playing around in the green, lush grass, right next to a tall tree with a home-made swing attached to it.

The first one was a fair bit taller than the second, probably older by a couple of years. She had just as tanned skin as the oldest lady, which Daniel by now assumed was the girls' mother, and she had long, dark brown hair. The look on her face wasn't an amused one, more annoyed. Evidently, she wasn't impressed by her playmate's behaviour as she ran around the garden, trying to catch her.

And that last girl – the youngest one, laughing so happily while she did her best to keep out of her older sister's angry grasp – Daniel recognised from a summer dream.

A large smile formed on his face. Serena had returned.

 


	5. Two Worlds Collide

**1829**

Daniel pulled harder, gathering all his strength to haul the filled bucket out of the well. Despite having grown the last couple of years, he was still very lean. Just as he was about to pick it up, he was startled by a sudden lack of sight as something covered his eyes; he accidentally let go of the rope, and the bucket fell all the way back down to the bottom of the well.

“Guess who!” a female voice said.

He soon realised that the thing covering his eyes was a pair of small hands. Daniel slouched his shoulders, a smirk tucking at the corner of his lips. “Oh boy, I don't know… I am well acquainted with a lot of girls…” He felt a hard slap to his arm and burst into laughter.

“That is not funny!”

Daniel turned around to face his friend, “You are early.”

“Happy birthday!” Serena beamed, showcasing the basket she always brought on this special day.

Daniel turned back to the well, grabbing the handle to pull the bucket up again. “I am not kidding. You shouldn't be around these quarters, we arranged to meet on the meadow as usual.”

“Oh, but I wanted to see where you live! And I must say, it is quite charming,” she said, eyeing the fairly large cabin a little distance away from the well.

“That is not where I live,” Daniel mumbled, knowing that his house wouldn't be as impressive.

Serena didn't catch it. “It is about time you show me around, Daniel, we have known each other for four years now!”

Daniel grabbed the bucket and turned around to face Serena, “And what do you suppose the peasants would think, seeing a daughter of a wealthy industrialist wandering around the murky part of town? Not to mention your mother.”

“You are such a mood killer,” Serena complained, “Can I at least see your house?”

“No,” Daniel said without second thought, “And that is not my house.”

Serena immediately snapped out of the longing gaze, she had sent the cushy looking cabin. Daniel started walking down the path. “We'll meet back at the meadow. Now get out of here before anyone sees you!”

She pouted. “Fine, then!”

* * *

Serena was waiting by their usual meeting place; the Blean forest. She sat in the grass, eating a muffin contently. Daniel smiled and waved at her. As he came closer, she said, “So, how old are you now? 32?”

“Very funny,” Daniel said while she giggled, “I'm 12.”

“You certainly don't act like a 12 year old,” she said, still amused.

“Well, you will be 10 by the end of this year, and you still act like a five year old.”

She stopped giggling immediately and glared at him, but he simply reached out to grab a muffin from her basket. She rapped his fingers away, “I don't think you can have a cake before you apologise!”

Now it was Daniel's turn to glare. “What exactly should I apologise for?”

“For insulting me like that!”

Daniel tried hard not to laugh. “I was merely addressing your immaturity, Miss Serena,” he explained.

She pouted once again – it seemed that it had become a bad habit. “Don't mock me!”

“Can I just have a cake, please?” Daniel begged, growing increasingly tired of the trivial argument.

Serena finally gave in, also laughing now. “All right, all right.”

Daniel grabbed the basket and removed the cloth covering it, only to be surprised. Not only was the basket filled with cupcakes, in the middle lay a square parcel. “Open it!” Serena said, excitement twinkling in her chestnut eyes.

He looked at her with bewilderment. “Did you … actually buy me a present?”

“Of course! You get presents for your birthday, don't you?” She rolled her eyes. “You are such a dummy sometimes, Daniel!”

Daniel wondered what could be in the package, still feeling somewhat baffled. He had given up on trying to convince Serena not to give him anything a long time ago, though, so he didn't bother to complain about her generosity.

“What are you waiting for? Don't you want to know what I got for you?” Serena asked.

Daniel stayed silent for a short while, still lost in his own thoughts. Suddenly he smirked at her, “Truth be told, I am actually worried. You might just have gotten me something horrid. I better leave it wrapped, so as to not have my illusion of this being something nice be ruined.”

He received yet another slap. “ _Ouch!”_

“I did not buy you something horrid! In fact, this is actually something you really want.”

“Is that so?” Daniel said, curiously eyeing the gift. He began carefully tearing at the paper, never having unwrapped a present before.

Serena was ever so impatient. “What are you doing? Just tear it up, already!” She practically had to do it for him. The children unwrapped the package together.

Daniel's eyes widened in revelation. “Oh God, Serena...”

“I hope you haven't read these before,” she said, warmth spreading in her cheeks and colouring them pink, “They were some of the more expensive ones.”

In the package were wrapped three large books on history dating back to the ancient Egypt, and Serena was right – it was some expensive, rare editions, Daniel would never be able to get his hands on by himself. “Thank you so much!” Daniel said, already turning the pages of the one about classical antiquity.

Serena leaned against his shoulder. “Can you read it to me?”

Daniel nodded. One of the things, he really appreciated about Serena, was her interest in his knowledge. Every year, Daniel taught her the things he knew about various subjects, and Serena herself was surprisingly interested in many aspects of history. They both frequently enjoyed reading a book about it together.

“Plato was a Greek philosopher as well as mathematician. A past student of Socrates', he became a very influential figure. One of his many famous texts spoke about a foreign utopian island called Atlantis...”

* * *

Later that evening, Daniel and Serena were chatting eagerly, having decided to watch the sunset together. “Can you imagine,” Daniel sighed, looking to the horizon, “Me becoming an archaeologist and travelling across the world, discovering forgotten places and ancient artefacts _crucial_ to the development of mankind and life as we know it!”

Serena lay on her back, her eyes closed. “It sounds like a fairytale.”

Daniel turned his gaze towards the grass, raking some straws up. “It is my dream. If I dig up something truly extraordinary, something never seen or heard of before, I might just be able to make enough money for Hazel to be cured.”

“Does she even need to be cured? I thought it was just a regular lung defect?” Serena said, sitting up.

“It has gotten worse,” Daniel mumbled, “Doctor Tate said that the inhaler will only do so much. It's keeping her alive, but she will always be in risk of suddenly having a stroke. Unless she gets the right treatment, but there's no way we'll be able to afford that.”

“I never knew that her condition was so critical!” Serena said, astounded by the information, “And you have been taking care of her all these years! You must be exhausted!”

Daniel shook his head. “Hardly. Keeping my sister alive does not exhaust me. Watching my father being careless around her, now _that_ exhausts me.”

“With all due respect, your father does not sound like a pleasant man,” Serena murmured, having heard a number of stories about Daniel's father over the last couple of years.

“It doesn't matter,” Daniel said, draping his arms over his knees and resting his chin on them, “Hazel is all that matters.”

She gazed at him with a sympathetic look in her eyes. “I could try to bring you more money?”

“No, you shouldn't,” Daniel said, offering an appreciative smile, “I need to handle this myself.”

Serena nodded, knowing that she wouldn't be able to get him the money anyway. “I think you should chase your dream,” she spoke softly, turning her gaze towards the setting sun, “It would be fantastic, really. You could move to London, and take your education there. Then we could see each other every day!”

Daniel grinned, “I think it would be a whole lot harder meeting up in London where everyone knows you, without me having to marry you.”

“Who cares what they all think,” Serena snorted, “We should be able to be friends without everyone turning their heads! I do not like how superficial our society has become.”

“It has always been superficial.” Daniel followed her eyes to the horizon, “You are just growing up.” The two friends didn't say any more. They silently sat beside each other, watching as the sun lowered behind the trees, dragging its light and hopes and dreams down with it.

* * *

Daniel returned home late. The house was silent as usual; the boots were not present, so Father must have still been in the studio. The boy kicked off his shoes, then walked into the room he shared with Hazel. It was located directly underneath John's bedroom. There was a dim light inside; the lantern was almost out of oil.

He smiled, knowing his sister remembered that he wasn't fond of the dark, and thus leaving the lantern burning. The small girl lay in the shabby bed, John and Daniel had built her in the studio. There was barely any space in the room for both of the siblings' beds, but there was no other place to have them. She breathed in peacefully, once in a while rasping was so softly it barely was evident.

Daniel had brought Hazel a cupcake, but he obviously had returned home too late as she had already gone to bed. He decided to save it for tomorrow, and started undressing for bed. Unfortunately, he hit the drawer in the cramped space by accident, making the heavy history books borrowed from the local library tumble down onto the floor.

Hazel moved. “Daniel?” she peeped, rubbing her eyes.

He offered an apologetic smile, whispering, “I'm sorry, Hazel, I didn't mean to wake you.”

The five year old girl sat up, obviously still drowsy. Tufts of dirty blonde hair stuck out in every direction, making it look like a bird had built a nest on top of his younger sister's head. “Did you have fun with Serena?”

“We can talk tomorrow, it's late,” Daniel said, moving to tug Hazel under the covers again.

She immediately got a sulky expression on her face. “Yes, it is, and I demand to know what took you so long! What were you doing with Serena?” the girl said, demonstrating her best pout.

Daniel sighed and sat down at the bedside. “You're not going to let this go, am I right?”

Hazel nodded with a big, victorious grin. He smirked, “All right, then. Here, have your muffin.” Daniel handed her the cake and she grabbed it at once, happily starting to nibble away at her treat; it was rare for both her and her brother to have anything as delicious as Serena's annual birthday cakes.

“So, what did you two do?” Hazel said with the mouth full of cupcake.

Daniel picked up the books. “She gave me an expensive gift.”

Hazel's eyes turned as wide as teacups. “Fairytale books?”

“No,” he chuckled, “History books.”

“Oh. Well, that's also very fascinating!” She gnawed at her cake.

“And then we read them. We spent several hours just reading, so that's why it dragged on for so long, I guess... When we realised how late it had gotten, we decided to watch the sunset together.”

“That sounds romantic!” Hazel cooed.

Daniel shook his head. “I guess it was. But we are just friends.”

“I know, I know, you've told me hundreds of times!” Hazel rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, irritated by her brother's continuous repeating of himself. Something told him that it was most of all due to a lack of sleep, though.

Daniel wrapped the covers around the small girl. “All right, I've told you everything, now go to sleep!”

Hazel finally complied at last, “All right, all right...” She yawned and lay back down in her bed. Not unsurprisingly, she was out within minutes. Daniel smiled, and got up to continue getting ready for bed – as he had obviously been distracted shortly. The lantern was almost completely out now. A few more minutes, and the room would be shrouded in darkness.

He noticed the light becoming fainter. He moved to the bed stand, grabbing the oil can beside the lantern, but he stopped in his tracks. Thoughts were accumulating. He fidgeted a bit with the switch, turning it a bit so the light attenuated further. As the room grew dingier, he felt small droplets form on his face. Images came to his mind; a small boy crying, a monster hiding in the dark, a vast void of nothingness, nowhere to run...

Breathlessness, a deep, tormenting fear, an excruciating _pain_.

_**NO ESCAPE.** _

Daniel gasped and opened his eyes, only now realising that they had even been closed. He immediately grabbed the oil can and emptied it into the lantern. The light became stronger. The room was once again engulfed in a dim, warm light. He found that he had trouble breathing, as if he had just finished a marathon. He fell to his knees in front of the bed stand, trying to collect himself.

“ _Stop acting so foolish, boy, the darkness won't hurt you.”_

It was his father's voice. Words from the past.

“ _Give me that lantern, you're wasting oil. You're too old to sleep with the lights on, Christ!”_

He struggled to keep his emotions at bay, but the anxiety was stronger; he tasted salt liquid. Thank God, Hazel was asleep.

Daniel wiped the tears away and gave himself a moment to come to his senses, then stood up to move over to his bed. As he lay down, he grabbed the little rosary he hid underneath his pillow. He clutched it tightly and closed his eyes, praying that he and his sister would soon see brighter days.

* * *

“ _... D-Danny... Dan...”_

Daniel woke up to the sound of heavy rasping. The boy frowned, opening one tired eye. Hazel was making strange movements in the other end of the room. He sat up, trying to focus his blurry vision from the sleep. As he realised what was happening, he immediately rushed out of his bed, “Hazel!”

Hazel's eyes were tearing up and her mouth filling with saliva mixed with blood. The rasps turned into a dry wheezing. She grabbed tightly unto Daniel's bare arm. The boy tried his best to keep calm. _Think, think, think!_ He flipped the younger girl to lie on her stomach and quickly grabbed a nearby cloth, placing it under her mouth, “Spit it out, Hazel!”

She did as she was told while Daniel floundered through the drawers in the vague light of the lantern. He finally found what he was looking for; a small bottle of laudanum. He moved to sit on Hazel's bed again. The small girl was barely conscious. “Danny,” she whispered through rough breaths, “My head hurts... And my chest...”

“I know, Hazel, just drink this,” Daniel said as filled the spoon up and fed her.

Hazel drank it all up. She grimaced at the bitter taste, “Oh, that is just nasty!”

Daniel chuckled and gently placed a hand on her forehead, checking her temperature. “How are you feeling?”

“Dizzy,” she said, still wheezing, “and I feel like my lungs are about to explode...” She did look awfully pale.

He stroked her hair, “Just relax and spit all of the slime out. Don't make any rash movements, all right? I'll go heat some water for your inhaler.”

She merely nodded, pressing the cloth against her mouth as she continued coughing. Daniel put on his old shirt and a pair of trousers. There was no point in going back to sleep now.

* * *

Later in the evening, Daniel decided to move his sister out into the living room, so he could keep an eye on her while he did his chores. He was originally supposed to meet with Serena, but he couldn't leave the house while his sister was in this state. The seizure had developed into a scorching fever, and Hazel didn't do much other than sleep the whole day. She was still sound asleep when John returned home.

The man trudged in, halting as he noticed his son sitting by the couch with a bowl of water and Hazel sleeping. “What's wrong with her now?”

Daniel put the rag in the hot water, twisted the redundant fluids out of it and placed it on his sister's burning forehead. “She had a stroke.”

John walked into the kitchen and grabbed a beer from his stash. “I thought you were going to work at the miller's today?” He sat by the dinner table and watched Daniel.

“I-I was. I have been.”

“And you're already home?”

“The miller let me off early.”

John didn't seem to buy it fully. He gazed at the boy with those glazed, grey eyes. Daniel held his breath, hoping that his father wouldn't notice how nervous he was. That he had work to do at the miller's today had merely been a lie to keep John from suspecting anything when he went to see Serena. But having John in the room always seemed to make the air somewhat strained anyway, so he guessed that nothing was different from the usual.

“And so... You just went home?”

Daniel jumped slightly at the sudden question. “Um... Yes, where else would I go?”

“You could've come help your old man in the studio.”

Something about John's tone made Daniel's stomach squirm. “I... I had to take care of Hazel...”

John shifted in his seat. “Huh. So you already knew that she would have another seizure?”

“N-no! She had it in the morning, I left her sleeping at home while I was working.” Daniel felt like he was being cornered. He silently prayed that the interrogation was over.

John didn't comment further for a little while. Another 10 minutes passed before he spoke again, ”Why don't you just give up?”

This time Daniel didn't answer. He felt himself grit his teeth.

John patiently awaited a response, but as he didn't get one, he continued himself, “You know that she won't stand a chance.” The implication of mockery seeped through clearly.

_She would, if you gave her one._

“Aren't you exhausted? She keeps having those seizures. Do you remember last winter? I was sure she wouldn't make it.”

_But she did._

“She is weak. She is unable to work, and we can't afford to have her educated – and honestly, I don't really feel like wasting my humble fortune on such trivial things.”

_No, you'd rather throw it away on liquor._

“She's as good as dead to me, just like her mother. _Your efforts are a waste of time!”_

John jerked up from his seat, violently grabbed a new bottle and went to his room, slamming the door hard behind him. Daniel sat crouched by the couch without uttering a sound, gripping tightly onto Hazel's duvet.

The subject apparently wasn't only sensitive to the artisan's son.

* * *

Hazel remained unconscious for a couple of days, so Daniel thought it best to stay home and take care of her. She was fortunately feeling fine again after a week, so he decided to seek out Serena and apologise for not meeting with her as they had arranged.

He walked the other way around the meadow through the Blean. It was much faster taking this route to her house, when he wasn't walking from the mill. A fair distance from the mansion, he suddenly heard several voices chattering and laughing. He went around some trees and looked through a bush into a sunlit clearing.

A huge gathering sat together on a blanket, having a picnic. A few of them were servants, but these people were obviously wealthy – and Daniel recognized them instantly.

The blonde young woman, Regina, was combing Jemma's long dark hair, Jem distracted by all the birds flying about. Katharina, the oldest one of the siblings, was reading a book, and Magdalena, the girls' mother, and Hilmar, her husband, were having a friendly conversation with their housekeeper and the governess.

And right in the middle of it all was Serena, chatting with her older sisters. She looked so happy and content. The whole group was undeniably enticing and attractive. The perfect family.

Daniel eyed the scene, increasingly feeling more dull inside; the expensive china, the fine garments, the several servants attending to the wealthy family. His heart dropped as Jem suddenly jerked up, starting to chase Serena around the clearing while they all laughed.

_I don't belong in her world._

Daniel unintentionally curled his hands into fists and left the scene to go home.

* * *

The sun was baking; it was early in the afternoon, and the last cart had been stocked. Daniel clamped the final bag of flour to the wagon and signalled for the coachman to go. Once the cart strolled away into town, the boy went to check the water flow. There had been some trouble with the mill, and the miller suspected that something had gotten stuck in the machinery. He walked around to the back of the large building and started rummaging through the small shed where the tools were kept.

“Where have you been?”

Daniel's heart skipped a beat. He turned around, but immediately relaxed when he realised who the voice belonged to. “Oh... Hello.”

“You know, I waited for you for a whole hour the other day,” Serena said, crossing her arms.

He pursed his lips, averting his eyes. “Hazel had a stroke.”

Serena's eyes widened, “Oh my God! Is she all right?”

“Don't worry, she is fine now.” He offered her a weak smile.

Serena nodded slowly, watching as he just went on with his work. He grabbed a crowbar from the shed and moved over to the water mill. “But you could at least have apologised,” she mumbled.

“What?” Daniel yelled, unable to hear her any more due to the strong flow of the water.

Serena frowned, but then shouted back at him, “Never mind it. Do you want to meet with me after work?”

Daniel didn't answer while he fixed the mill. He seemed to struggle for a bit, but finally the crowbar let loose and the mill wheeled freely again. He put the crowbar back in place and looked at Serena. “Meet with you?”

“Yes? Like we usually do?” Serena said, feeling continuously more and more confused, “Is anything wrong?”

Daniel shook his head and averted his eyes. He tugged his hands in his pockets. Serena tilted her head, a deep frown furrowing her forehead, “Why are you acting so strange?” She looked down onto her feet and kicked a stone. “I missed you...”

The older boy suddenly turned his gaze towards her again. His facial muscles betrayed him as a small smile formed on his lips, “You… You missed me?”

Serena slapped his arm. “Don't make a big deal out of it!” She couldn't disguise the blush on her face either, though.

He laughed, instantly feeling a lot better. “All right, all right, I'll see you by the bridge at six!”

“Deal!” Serena beamed and turned to skip away. Daniel watched her till she was completely out of sight, a little smile apparent on his face.

_Maybe **she** doesn't belong in her world, either. _

* * *

Good things must always come to an end. Daniel and Serena spent her last day in Canterbury just talking about anything their minds would occasionally stumble upon. “Doesn't your mother want you to help packing?” Daniel asked while watching the clouds.

Serena laughed, thinking Daniel's question to be silly. “Of course not, the servants are packing everything.”

“Oh. Right.”

She turned around to lie on her side, just gazing up at him. He tried to ignore it at first but eventually he grew too uncomfortable and blurted, “Stop staring at me!”

She just laughed at him, apparently finding his annoyance amusing. Daniel couldn't help but laugh as well and turned onto his side, facing Serena. “So, are you excited for school?”

Her smile faded immediately and she merely shrugged. Daniel frowned. For the past few years, Serena had refused to talk about her school or much of her life in London at all. He usually just let it slide, but over time it had started to nag him for some reason he couldn't explain. “Is everything all right? You never want to talk about your school.”

“London is just no good,” Serena pouted and turned on her back again, watching the clouds drift slowly across the sky.

“What are you talking about? London is amazing!”

“Then maybe you should live there!”

Daniel was surprised at her sudden outburst. He sat up, his confusion evident in his expression. “What is going on?”

“Nothing is going on,” Serena sighed, but her avoiding his eyes didn't fool Daniel. “I... I just think that London would be a whole lot better if you lived there. So we didn't have to be apart for so long...”

Daniel could tell that even Serena herself didn't think that excuse to be very convincing. He was flattered by her comment, though. “But what has that got to do with your school?”

“Nothing! It's nothing!” Serena dismissed him, “Let's talk about something else!”

Daniel couldn't help but feel that there was in fact something wrong, but he decided not to bother Serena any more – it was after all their last day together this year. She had to head back in the afternoon already, but when she got up to leave, Daniel didn't let her go. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her into a warm embrace.

Serena didn't say anything. She just sighed and held onto him tightly. Daniel never knew, but her eyes welled up at that moment.

 


	6. Bruises

Mr. Cooper was walking his weekly route around the rural areas of Canterbury. The air was cool and the sun didn't shine any more, for it had become October.

In these months there never was much other mail than bills, business replies and letters about financial matters, much unlike the summer season that had the post office busy transporting personal letters and postcards from families on vacation in their cottages. The autumn was a nice break from all of that. Mr. Cooper neared the more isolated part of the surrounding villages, where the middle class people lived. The shabby, old houses were unmistakable, and just as he thought, there the child was.

A subtle smile formed on Mr. Cooper's lips. The lad was standing right by the mailbox in front of his humble residence, waiting ever so patiently early in the morning as usual.

Over the years, Mr. Cooper had become quite well acquainted with him. Daniel, was his name. Always in the autumn, especially around the months of October and November and then again in April and May, he would be waiting for Mr. Cooper to bring the mail – almost as if he was expecting a very important letter. He would beam with excitement whenever he saw the good postman with his marine uniform and white beard, but whenever Mr. Cooper didn't have anything for him, he always let out a disappointed sigh.

Mr. Cooper had for long wondered what the nice lad was waiting for, but he never asked. He had no business asking into others' private matters. However, when Daniel finally received his long awaited letter, he almost jumped out of his skin of glee. He would bow thankfully to the amused Mr. Cooper, wish him a great day – not just a good day, a _great_ one – and rush back inside the old house, probably to read it. Such a high spirit couldn't help but brighten Mr. Cooper's mood.

And today was no different from the usual. The gentle boy with the shoulder length brown hair and jade eyes waved at him happily, “Good morning, sir!”

“And good morning to you, Daniel,” Mr. Cooper greeted, “How's it going? Is your sister well?”

“She could be better,” Daniel's smile faltered slightly, “but she's been so strong. I'm sure she will get well soon!”

Mr. Cooper nodded sympathetically, “You're a good brother, lad, keep that in mind.”

“Thank you, sir,” Daniel replied, seemingly a bit uncomfortable talking about the sensitive topic that was his sister. He turned to look at the bag, Mr. Cooper carried over his shoulder. “Um, do you have a letter for me?”

“Let me see, let me see,” Mr. Cooper chuckled as he started rummaging his sack of mails. For two minutes he searched for the child's precious letter, but there was nothing. He shook his head apologetically to Daniel.

Daniel's shoulders slouched slightly. “Oh. Thank you nonetheless, sir. Have a good day!” The youngster turned on his heel and rushed inside again. Mr. Cooper smiled; he really was something, that Daniel.

* * *

He lay on his stomach in an attempt to let the air soothe the cuts. It didn't help, though, and the boy bitterly remembered the only other way he knew of to make pain go away – by distracting your body with pain in another spot.

Daniel stood up and went to the closet in the kitchen. He rummaged it for a moment, then pulled out the first aid kit. He found himself some cotton pads and bandage, then grabbed a bottle of alcohol from his father's stock, and finally took the cloth hanging on one of the chairs.

He sat down in the couch again, starting to patch himself up. His shirt had already been removed as soon as he had returned home. He wetted the cotton pads in the alcohol, then started cleaning the wounds on his back gently. He grimaced by the touch – the sting was immediate. He looked at the used cotton pad, already tainted a dark red colour. He bit his lip and continued cleaning his back, trying to endure the pain as best as he could. When he had finally finished, he dipped the cloth in hot water and rubbed it over his back. It was still sore, but it felt a lot better with the warmth of the wet cloth against his wounds. At last he could bandage the worst of the slashes.

He put on a clean shirt after the ordeal as usual. He checked his arms; the cuts were almost gone, but they probably never would disappear completely. The several number of bruises all over his body, on the other hand, would definitely vanish at some point, thank God. The deep wound on his thigh still hurt, the lesion on his neck had not healed quite yet, and the punch from the other day still hurt in his guts.

Daniel sighed and lay on his stomach to spare the back. _No escape._

* * *

“What did she say, what did she say?” Hazel sat on the bed, waiting with anticipation for Daniel to sit down beside her.

“Calm down,” Daniel chuckled. He couldn't hide his smile, though – he felt like he was about to burst out of excitement. For months he had been waiting. The letter never arrived before September, as his pen pal knew that the costs of receiving a letter was high, and thus she made sure to only mail him two to three times a year.

November rain poured down outside, and even though it was late, Daniel had to see this letter – he hadn't had the time to read it all day! Besides, he had promised Hazel to read it to her, since she also wanted to know how his friend was doing. He slouched down onto the small bed, Hazel cuddling up beside him. He grabbed the knife, he had borrowed from the studio for emergencies, and cut the letter open.

Daniel tugged out the piece of paper inside the envelope. He unfolded it, beaming as he recognised Serena's delicate handwriting; it was certainly a lot prettier than Daniel's. He took a deep breath, and began reading aloud to Hazel.

 

_My dear Daniel,_

_I apologise for taking so long on writing this letter. I have to tell you something I simply cannot hold in any longer. Truth is, my life here is miserable. I did not want to burden you with my problems, but I feel like you are the only one I can talk to._

_It was not this bad at first, but the girls in school have become so mean. Whenever I can answer questions in class, whenever I just mention anything that you have taught me, they laugh at me! As if I am ridiculous for knowing such things. I hear them whispering behind my back, they say that I act like a boy._

_My teachers even contacted Mother and told her about my behaviour, that it is disturbing that I know this much of so many 'unladylike' subjects! She was so angry, Daniel. She yelled at me to stop being a child. I feel so alone. Miss Mary keeps me company sometimes, but she doesn't know how I feel. Nobody does._

_I wish I never had to go to school. I want to be home-schooled, like my sisters were. But the governess is much more expensive, Father said. What am I to do? I don't want to burden my family, but I feel like I already am. It seems that whenever I open my mouth, people stare at me. Just yesterday by the dinner table, Father was talking about a deal he was about to make concerning an expedition to Italy, and I told them about the gladiators and the Colosseum we read about in your history book. For a moment everyone stared at me, then Mother forbid me to talk for the rest of the evening! I think my parents are ashamed of me. I do like dancing and singing and playing on the piano forte, but I like reading about history and physics and astronomy, too. Does that make me a hoyden?_

_I do not like it here. I just want to go back to Canterbury and be with you. You are my only friend, but I know now that I'll never be able to tell my family about you for they would never accept it. This place with these people, they are all so superficial. I do not want to be a part of it. Maybe I should have been born a boy. Maybe they are all right. I am not feminine or attractive enough to be a lady, right now all I am to them is a strange and confused little girl._

_And I really am confused. I just want to escape London. I miss you, Daniel._

_See you soon,_

_Serena da Silva_

 

“What did she say, Daniel?”

Daniel felt shocked. As he had read the first line aloud, he had gone silent and started reading it to himself, so Hazel hadn't had a chance to find out how Serena was doing. And it would be better if she didn't. “I-I'm sorry, Hazel,” he slowly got up from the bed, “This is too private. It was only meant for me.”

Hazel got a disappointed look on her face. He didn't avert his eyes from the letter as he placed himself back in his own bed, “You should sleep now. It's late.” The little girl was confused, but didn't argue. She silently tugged herself under her covers, still observing her older brother without a word.

Daniel read the letter to himself all over again with a frown deeply implanted on his face. And once again. And just one more time. It was ridiculous! How could they treat her like that? The Serena he knew was no way near being an unattractive gamine – in fact, in Daniel's opinion, she was a very lovely and feminine young girl.

He couldn't help but feel that it was his fault, though. All those years, he and Serena had spent reading about all those academic subjects, he never knew that it would affect Serena's social life like that. He had completely forgotten about how a lady should behave – and that Serena was supposed to be one. And obviously she had as well.

Daniel could do nothing but bite his lip and fist his hands out of frustration for a moment. He had never felt such an immense anger before. He wasn't normally a tempered boy – much unlike his father – but he really wanted to tear this letter apart, as if it would make a difference to Serena's situation in London, which of course it wouldn't. Instead, he shot up from his bed and went to find a pen and paper, then sat down by the small bed stand and began writing his reply in the limited space he had.

 

_Dearest Serena,_

_I am shocked to hear about all of this. And I must admit, it angers me. I certainly do not think of you as unattractive or unladylike, definitely not, do not let them make you think that! Pardon my forwardness._

_I am glad that you told me. I just wish I could do something. Being all the way over here in Canterbury really discourages me, but I promise you that things will get better. Good things come to those who wait. And if things do not get better, then remember our promise; someday I will come to London to go study at the university, and then I will make sure that nothing ever hurts you again. That is a commitment. For now, hold on to your sisters and Miss Mary. They seem to care for you greatly._

_I hope summer comes along fast enough. Take care,_

_Daniel J. Wilkinson_

 

Daniel recited his letter to himself a couple of times, making sure he didn't miss anything or made any spelling or grammar mistakes. He didn't want to make a fool out of himself in front of Serena, who was already a skilled reader and writer in spite of her young age.

“Danny?”

He turned around. Hazel sat up in her bed, looking worried. She had been observing him for quite a while now, even though Daniel had told her to go to bed. “What is wrong?”

“Please go to sleep, Hazel,” he mumbled as he folded his letter.

Hazel pouted, “But I can't now... You promised you would read that letter to me!”

Daniel sighed and thought for a moment, then said, “Tell you what. If you go to sleep now, I'll take you into town tomorrow, and afterwards we can go collect chestnuts in the Blean and visit Mother's grave. How about that?”

Her round, green eyes lit up like never before. “Really? Are you serious?”

“Yes! Now quiet down, Dad's asleep!” he said, trying not to laugh.

“All right, then!” Hazel lay down in her bed again without further ado, “Goodnight, Daniel!”

“Sleep tight,” Daniel smiled, watching his baby sister snuggle into her covers and close her eyes. It was time to go to bed.

* * *

The sun was unusually bright this November noon. Daniel took in the beautiful sight of the many golden colours unfolding throughout the nature. Hazel seemed to quite enjoy the fresh air as well. “Look at all the birds! Danny, look!”

Daniel merely responded with a hum, lost in his own thoughts. He couldn't help but wonder what London was like in the autumn.

The market was not too far now, and as they neared the Westgate, the road became a bit more crowded. Coaches driving to and fro town strolled past the siblings and they even came across pilgrims and sellers. Hazel was overjoyed to say the least. She gawked and gaped at anything they came by. Daniel had to remind her that it was rude to point fingers at strangers.

Most of the city walls had been removed, but the Westgate still remained, and the jailer's house on the north side had recently been finished building. The scent of freshly baked bread from the baker's further down the street filled the children's nostrils as they walked through the rather narrow arch between the towers.

Daniel went down St. Peter's Street, directly past the baker. Hazel shot a longing glance at the pastries in the window, though she knew that they didn't have money for those kinds of luxuries. They crossed over the Stour River running through the town, continuing past Eastbridge Hospital – from there on, it wasn't a long way till they reached the post office. In fact, Daniel could see it right by the corner of Stour Street.

Before they went inside, Daniel halted to count his coins. He had almost three pence, minus a farthing. “Hazel, what do you say we go buy some toffee to share after we've posted my letter?”

Hazel looked as if her eyes would roll out of her head any minute. “Really?”

Daniel nodded with a big grin. Nothing beat that expression on his sister's face.

The post office wasn't very busy today; only two other gentlemen were present. The postmaster himself took care of the customers, always trying to save money by running the business on his own whenever he could manage. Daniel waited patiently by the window, holding Hazel's hand.

The postmaster was a large, grumpy looking man with a big, red nose and grey hair sticking out from his unusually large nostrils. Evidently it seemed that the only place, in which the man didn't have any hair, was his head. For years, Daniel had convinced Hazel that he was one of Santa Claus' pixies.

“Thank you, Mr. Lewis. You have a nice day,” said one of the gentlemen and gestured with his hat.

The postmaster bowed in response, showing the Englishmen the full row of his crooked, grey teeth, “You too, sir. Send Mrs. Evans my deepest condolences.”

As the two men with the fine coats and hats left the post office, Daniel stepped up to the counter with Hazel in hand. He had grown tall enough to reach over the counter, so the postmaster couldn't pretend that he didn't notice the boy any more. “What do you want?” he said in a dull tone.

Daniel merely handed him the letter. Mr. Lewis examined it, as if he believed it to be fake or a scam of some sort, then finally stamped it and put it into the pile of letters going out of Canterbury towards northern England. “Anything else?”

The boy shook his head and bowed. “Have a nice day, sir.”

The postmaster grunted, “Get out of here, you scoundrel.”

Daniel hurried out of the small shop, relieved that the postmaster didn't try to charge him for the letter, though it was common knowledge that only the receiver paid for service. Hazel puffed, “He must be the grumpiest of all pixies. I can't believe Santa would hire someone like that, he could only ruin the Christmas spirit!”

Daniel chuckled involuntarily and shook his head at his cute sister. He tried to stem his laughing as he and Hazel continued down High Street, “Let's go get some toffee, Hazel.”

The siblings turned left by Mercery Lane, finally arriving at the Buttermarket. The town square wasn't quite as busy as it had been a few months ago. The stalls from the summer season had packed up and moved on, which left the Buttermarket wide open with only bypassing people running their own errands.

Mrs. Bell's Treats and Sweets was a small but fancy shop placed in the corner of the Buttermarket, right across from the church gate of Canterbury Cathedral. It had been around for as long as Daniel could remember – and he remembered it all right, from all the times he had passed it when going to town with his father, wishing that he just once could taste the delicious candy, his mother used to buy for him when she was still alive, again. Daniel hadn't been into the shop himself before, but he had seen the price signs in the window, so he knew that they would be able to afford just one bag of classic, English toffee.

A girl a couple of years older than Daniel stood by the counter, tending to some other customers. Mrs. Bell herself came out of the back door leading to the kitchen with a tray, humming merrily as she put the newly baked treats on the shelves. She stopped in her tracks when she noticed the lady standing by the counter. “Oh, Grace, my darling! How do you do?”

“Very well, thank you, Alberta,” the lady, Grace replied, sending her friend a vibrant smile, “How is the business? Did your husband sign the lease with the real estate agent in Ramsgate?”

“Oh no, dear, we could not for the love of God bring ourselves to leave Canterbury,” Mrs. Bell chortled, “We will be around for a long time!”

Daniel couldn't help himself from listening in on the conversation. He felt relieved that Mr. and Mrs. Bell wouldn't move to Ramsgate, for he was quite fond of their sweets.

“Good to hear, friend, good to hear!” Grace said, “By the way, have you heard the news of poor Mr. Evans? He finally passed away just last week!”

Mrs. Bell's eyes widened, the red colour in her apple cheeks fading slightly. “Oh no, how terrible! So Mrs. Henrietta Evans finally became a widow.”

“Yes, but that's not all,” Grace's voice stilled to a whisper, “Rumours say that Mrs. Evans herself poisoned her husband.”

“What a morbid rumour!” Mrs. Bell gasped, “Do you actually believe that?”

“I cannot say anything about the matter,” Grace said, “but Henrietta indeed seems very pleased with the amount of money she owns now.”

Daniel thought that it was horrible if Mrs. Evans really had poisoned her own husband. To think that money could be such a big deal!

“Aye boy, what would you like?”

Hazel tugged in Daniel's shirt sleeve, causing Daniel to break free of his train of thoughts. The older girl gestured for them to come to the counter.

* * *

Hazel sprinted around, trying to collect more chestnuts than she could carry. Birds were chirping their happy songs and dim sunlight penetrated through the treetops, making the whole scene peaceful and idyllic.

Daniel sat under a large oak tree, enjoying his toffee. Once in a while he shared some of his with Hazel, despite the fact that they were supposed to have an equal amount each and Hazel already had eaten all of her own toffee. They had been at it for hours, playing around while collecting chestnuts throughout the Blean, so Daniel had settled down to relax, keeping an eye on his younger sister while she finished up.

“Danny, look how many I have now!” Hazel yelled, while trying not to drop any of the chestnuts. The bright sun had caused small freckles to appear along the bridge of her nose and cheeks.

Daniel smiled. “Be careful, Hazel, we don't have much more space in the bag.”

The five year old girl skipped over to her older brother and dumped her collection into the brown bag. “Do you think Father would want to join us when we make chestnut animals?”

Daniel's smile faltered. He bit his lip apologetically, “You know that Father is busy, Hazel.”

Hazel nodded, her gaze turning down to the bag of chestnuts. He quickly got up on his feet, changing the subject, “Are you done? We should go visit Mum before the sun goes down.”

She lit up again by the mention of their mother and tried to pick up the heavy bag. She wasn't able to. Daniel picked it up instead, chuckling at her efforts. “Let's go.”

The siblings walked through the Blean, talking and fooling around while admiring the beauty of the forest. Eventually they reached the outskirts of Canterbury; here, the fields flowed freely throughout the landscape, and no houses or buildings were in sight. “Why did Father bury Mummy all the way out here? It's such a long walk from home!” Hazel wondered out loud, while trying to walk through the tall grass without falling over herself.

“He didn't want anyone disturbing her peace,” Daniel replied, kneeling down in front of her so she could hop onto his back, “And he refused to have her buried in the pauper grave. At that time, we had even less money than now, so he could not afford to give her an official burial.”

In the distance a lone, lush ash tree on top of a hill came into sight. Hazel tightened her grasp around her brother's neck as they started ascending the hill. “How come we didn't have any money? I know that Dad's business used to be very profitable, Mrs. Phillips next door told me so!” she said, eager to know more about the time when her mother was around – and using a fancy word, she had just learned.

Daniel shot Hazel a surprised look over his shoulder, “When did you talk to Mrs. Phillips?”

“Oh, she's always around our house in the morning, milking her goats by the stable. Sometimes she lets me help out! They're so cute, and she always brings Rufus, you know, their big bloodhound!” Hazel chattered.

“Hazel, you shouldn't go out too much when I'm not there to keep an eye on you, you know that.”

She sighed heavily and rolled her eyes, changing the subject, “You didn't answer my question!”

Daniel could see the small gravestone under the tree. “You're right, we weren't always this poorly off... I was your age back then, so I didn't understand much of what was going on. But I remember our parents fighting a lot. Father yelled at Mum, he was frustrated because she wasn't able to work any more. She had become pregnant with you, so she was weak and ill. All while England suffered from a crisis; it really affected the market towns in particular, so we lost a lot of money. Everything was just … very bad timing.”

“Oh,” Hazel mumbled, “So it was actually all my fault…”

Daniel halted, put Hazel down and knelt in front of her, placing his hands on her shoulders. “Don't ever think that,” he said, looking straight into her eyes, “You were a blessing to us.”

“I don't think Daddy feels the same way,” she said softly, her green eyes glinting as the tears built up.

He pulled her into a warm embrace, gently stroking her thick, long hair down her back. “Father loves you just as much as I do. He's ... just not very good at showing it. He still misses Mother, so he doesn't realise that he's missing out on you. Don't cry, Hazel.”

“I'm sorry,” Hazel sobbed, “I miss Mummy, too. Even though I've never met her…”

“She's right here in our hearts,” Daniel said and placed a hand on the left side of her chest, giving her a reassuring smile, “You're with her every day. She lives within you, never forget that.”

Hazel wiped her tears and giggled as Daniel gave her a kiss on her small, slightly snub nose. “Thanks, Danny. I won't!”

“Good,” he smiled and stood back up.

They took each others' hands and continued up the hill, arriving at the ash tree and the grave right underneath it that John had dug for Evelyn. They stood in silence for a moment before Hazel moved forward, putting a flower, she had picked in the forest, on the humble grave. Daniel watched her as she talked to their mother.

“Hi Mum,” she said, “I hope you're well. I found this flower in the Blean, it's nothing special, but I thought it was really pretty. So I want you to have it. Father is still working a lot. I never see him, and when I do, I'm honestly feeling scared of him. Were you scared of him, too? I can imagine not, for you were in love with him. Also, I don't know why I keep having all these troubles breathing. Doctor Tate is a big help, but it never stops, and even though Danny says that I'll get better soon, I feel like it's only getting worse.”

Daniel swallowed and averted his gaze, but didn't interrupt. Hazel needed this; to confide in her mother.

“I'm afraid, Mum,” she said and lowered her head, “Maybe I won't be able to do all these things, like go to ballroom dances or travel. Maybe no one wants to marry me when I come of age. Maybe I'll be left alone here, 'cause I don't want Daniel to be tied down because of me. I want him to go out and experience the world, because that is what he wants, I can tell. But I don't think I'll be able to go with him. I don't.”

He fisted his hands. He would never allow Hazel to be left alone. Everything would be all right someday, he just had to find a cure.

“But I think I'd better go now, Mum,” Hazel said, picking herself up, “for I do not feel so well, and I should let you and Daniel have a moment. I just wanted to catch up.”

Daniel awoke from his thoughts at that remark. He grabbed Hazel, “You're not feeling well? What's wrong?”

Hazel dismissed him, rubbing her eyes. “Nothing, I'm just a little sentimental.” She offered a weak smile.

Daniel let go of her, keeping a close eye on the girl as she moved to the other side of the tree. Perhaps she just needed some time alone.

He turned to the grave again. The flower was really beautiful, a nice, blue colour. It was unusual to find a flower like that in the autumn. “Hello, Mother,” he said, moistening his lips, “I guess you're a bit worried for Hazel now. Don't be. I'm taking care of her. I won't let anything happen to her. Father is being a bit inconsiderate, but both you and I know he cares about her as well. Everything will be all right, I promise. Have faith in me.”

He tried to catch a glance of Hazel, but he couldn't see her from where he stood. He gave up shortly and sat down in front of the gravestone. “But she is right about me wanting to travel. I want to move to London as soon as I'm old enough. I have a friend there and I want to become an archaeologist, I really like history. But you know that already.”

What was Hazel doing? It was awfully quiet. “About my friend... I just got a letter from her recently, she was really upset. She told me that she was not feeling well in her party, and it makes me angry that she's treated like that. I don't ever get angry. I care about her a lot.”

Daniel was silent for a while. He didn't know what to say. Where was Hazel, anyway?

“But it's going to be fine. I'll be there for her and Hazel… And even Father, whenever he's ready to pick himself up. I'm taking care of our family, Mum, don't you worry.”

Suddenly he heard the rasping. It was loud, aggressive. He shot up to his feet, running to the other side of the tree, only to find Hazel on the ground. She was almost completely unconscious, only kept awake by her violent spasms.

“ _HAZEL!”_

Daniel panicked, trying to flip Hazel onto her other side so she wouldn't drown in her own vomit. It poured out onto the grass in an eerily red colour. This was definitely not a good sign. He got Hazel to the local hospital; she could barely move or breathe, and her chest was blue and red. Unfortunately, Doctor Tate wasn't there, but she was checked up on by the other staff instead.

Hazel's condition had gotten worse. She was having internal haemorrhages in her chest area, but no one knew until now due to the bruises. Hazel became confined to her bed.

 


	7. The Angry and the Weak

Daniel had initially planned for Hazel to start school the following summer, but obviously that plan had gone out the window. The doctors at the voluntary hospital had deduced that her condition had worsened a lot in a very short amount of time, which was very disconcerting. Her lungs failed to properly provide oxygen for her bloodstream, and due to this, her heart was weakening.

Daniel didn't dare let her out of the house any more, afraid that she'd might have a stroke any time. It was impossible to know if she was improving. Some days she would be fine, acting as if nothing was wrong at all. But others, she was very pale and slept the hours away. Due to this insecurity regarding her health, Daniel thought it best not to send her to school at all – he decided to teach her how to read and write himself instead.

They stepped into December and Christmas was closing in. Hazel had her birthday in the midst of the month, always right when the snow would start falling. She was convinced that the Lord made it snow in her honour every year; the thought may or may not have been encouraged by her older brother.

The sky was almost completely black outside, so Daniel had lit every candle and lantern in their small house. The Christmas sock he had made for Hazel hung discreetly by the stove, a place where their father wouldn't notice it. He had fetched some water from the well and heated it in order to prepare a bath for Hazel.

John wasn't home from the studio yet. He usually didn't work this late in the winter, so Daniel figured he was out mourning by his deceased wife's grave, like he had been doing every December for the past six years – even on his daughter's birthday.

Hazel sat on the couch, feeling as if her head was as heavy as lead. She wanted to help out, but she was unable to. Her body felt numb and her lungs were sore; simply breathing was a challenge in itself.

Daniel dragged the small iron tub into the middle of the living room and placed it on top of the cloth, he had spread out to prevent the water from splashing onto the wooden floor. He poured the hot water into the tub and checked the temperature, then grabbed a little piece of soap and stirred it into the water, making the surface foam.

“Hazel,” he called and turned towards his younger sister. She didn't move an inch, just kept her head hanging low. He stood up and made his way over to her, gently grabbing her shoulder. “Hazel, the tub is ready.”

Hazel jumped a bit, as if she had been asleep and he had just awakened her. She smiled meekly and nodded, following him over to the bath. She still seemed like she was a whole other place while Daniel helped her undress and get into the small container. “Oh!” Hazel exclaimed as she stepped into the water, “It's dead hot!”

Daniel chuckled, “Yes, it'll prevent you from catching a cold.” He started scrubbing her with the brush.

Hazel turned silent and started playing around with the foam. Daniel's smile faded. He didn't like the way things had turned out. His sister was usually a chatty and light hearted child, and seeing her in such a gloomy mood seemed out of character to say the least. “So, let's revise some of what we talked about this past week,” Daniel said, soaping her hair, “Give me an animal that starts with the letter E.”

“Elephant,” Hazel said.

“Very good. Now, this question is a bit harder; how do you spell it?”

Hazel was quiet for a second as she thought hard. She bit her lip in concentration, and when she caught Daniel glancing at her with a mischievous smile, she let out a nervous laugh. Daniel laughed as well. “Tell you what,” he said, “We'll do some repetition of three letters, and then I'll tell you a fairy tale. Deal?”

Finally Hazel lit up the way she used to, “Deal!”

And everything seemed to be back to normal. The siblings played around and had fun spelling various words with the letters, and eventually Daniel told her the story she was promised. Just as he finished the tale about Show White and Rose Red, the front door opened. The children immediately fell silent, gazing up at their father.

He watched them without uttering a word. The silence was deafening. It was as if it was a living form, compressing the atmosphere. The air was thick, almost suffocating, and not enough was said, yet too much.

After what seemed like an eternity of silence, John finally broke free and dragged himself upstairs to his room. Hazel gave Daniel a questioning look. Daniel sincerely hoped that his baby sister didn't notice, for it wasn't very evident, but he had seen the thin, watery membrane that glazed over John's eyes as he had stared at Hazel; he had been crying.

* * *

**1830**

Christmas had come around and left again, and they plunged into a new year and straight back into work. Daniel had received another letter from Serena, saying that she was very thankful and that she looked forward to seeing him again. He decided not to answer; he didn't have money to pay for any more letters.

It was that time of the year when the sky was grey and the nature seemed confused between being covered by the white blanket of winter and flourishing the vibrant colours of springtime, not really having settled for neither of them. The snow was melting away, making the roads slippery; the most primitive of them were completely unusable. That meant for Daniel that he had to carry the bags of corn into Canterbury himself, for it was too dangerous to transport them by coach.

A usual February afternoon, Daniel finished his work somewhat early. The sky was still grey when he was on his way home – a dark grey, but at least not completely black. There was nothing Daniel hated more than when he had to walk home in the dark. The air was still cold, and Daniel's breath turned into an icy white ghost form in front of him. He tied his scarf tighter around his neck. He was _not_ about to catch a cold and bring it back home to his fragile sister, that was for sure.

“Hey, Wilkinson!”

Daniel jumped slightly and turned around as he was pulled back. There was Henry, having Daniel's scarf in an iron grip. “Hello, Henry...” he mumbled, wincing by the rough grasp around his neck. Henry didn't seem to care – or he didn't hear. He quickly put his burly arm around the younger boy's small shoulders and dragged him into the dense scrub by the side of the road.

The tall blond pushed Daniel to the ground inside the thicket. Daniel tried to stand up, but without warning he received a kick in his stomach, feeling all the air in his lungs being knocked out of him. Lucky for him that he was wearing many layers of clothing, otherwise that kick could have caused a much more severe kind of damage. Daniel barely registered anything as he was lifted up. His thoughts could only process one thing, and that thing was the silent prayer to his guardian angel. _Please, let this be over soon..._

It all happened so fast, Daniel didn't have time to detect what was going on. Usually he only received one or two punches at a time, but Henry was particularly aggressive today. He towered over Daniel, beating him senseless as if there was no tomorrow. The younger boy tasted sweet metal, gasping to catch his breath. He tried in vain to crawl away, but there was no escape. With a last hit to the side of his head, Daniel felt his vision blur. He saw Henry step back in a haze.

He felt something warm and sticky spread from his temple. As he slowly regained conciousness, he saw the red stains in the muddy snow, and the splitting pain hit him like a hammer. Daniel felt the panic spread through his body, feeding his veins with adrenalin. He anxiously looked around, but Henry was nowhere in sight.

Henry Bedloe went to class carrying the anger of his bitter mother. He never cried, he made others cry instead. Pain is like that, you either become sad or you become angry. Henry always chose the latter. But something was different today. Henry normally only showed up in school, always having his pack with him – and he wasn't usually this violent.

Daniel felt his stomach squirm and gulped. He was beginning to fear that Henry's anger was pursuing him.

* * *

The rain was heavy outside. Everyone had been expecting the storm to hit Canterbury soon, and it seemed like tonight was the night.

Daniel frantically searched through the cupboards in the kitchen, unable to find the laudanum; Father must have rearranged them, but this was no good time to be fumbling around in the dark. Hazel was suffocating and coughing up blood to the point that Daniel was nearly afraid that it might really be it this time, and it would take too long to heat water for her inhaler. But with the lack of progress he was making trying to find the medicine, it might have been all the same.

He felt the dread building up. What was he going to do if he couldn't find the laudanum? He couldn't ask John, for he wasn't home yet, and besides – he knew how he was going to react. Daniel shivered and climbed on top of a chair to look on the upper shelves; he'd rather just find it himself.

Just then the only lantern lit in the house went out, leaving Daniel falling down from the chair in shock. He couldn't see anything, save for the streaks of lightning outside that bathed the small house in flashes. He heard Hazel's half strangled cries.

“D-Daniel... Please...”

Daniel wanted to answer her. He wanted to find the laudanum, but he simply couldn't move as he slowly sunk to his knees. He felt his breathing pick up and his palms become sweaty. The shadows crept across the room, coming his way. The light was gone, they could move freely now, there was _no escape._

Then the front door slammed open. Suddenly there was light again and the shadows withdrew. John stepped inside with a lantern in hand and pushed the door close with great effort.

Daniel sat paralysed. For the next few moments everything went by in a blur, he only heard muffled voices and the sound of his own beating heart drumming in his ears. He didn't register anything until John began shouting at him. _“What are you doing, boy? You've become careless about her all of a sudden?”_

He jumped and looked up at his father. The stiff, dark beard had rain droplets dripping down onto the floor. “I-I…” Daniel stuttered, still terrified out of his mind due to the prior events. He suddenly remembered what had been urgent and got back up on his feet, “Father, the laudanum! Hazel needs it, I-I can't find it…”

He was cut short by a harsh slap to his cheek. He fell to the floor again, the right side of his face burning.

“You're _damn right_ , she needs it! What the hell were you doing just sitting there? I moved the laudanum into your room a week ago! Are you completely daft?”

Hazel lay on the couch lifelessly. Daniel was unable to see if she was unconscious due to the thick hair covering her face. He really needed to fetch the medicine.

John wasn't done yet. “Don't tell me you are still afraid of the _dark!_ How do you expect to get through life? I don't believe this!”

Daniel tried to stand up so that he could go to his room and get the laudanum, but his father grabbed him by his shirt and bellowed right into his face, _**“LISTEN WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU!”**_

“Father… Please…” he whispered, gently trying to make John loosen his grip.

“You just expect me to do your dirty little work, huh? I told you right from the start that it's a waste of time! She won't ever get better and you _know_ it! We can't use her for anything, she's a waste of our money and resources and space! Why won't you just give up on her? _**SHE KILLED YOUR MOTHER!** ”_

Daniel bit his lip and swallowed hard. He blinked back the tears, determined not to let his father see him cry.

John finally let go and threw the boy onto the floor. “Go get the damn laudanum!” he growled, “And don't forget to clean up the blood!” He shoved Daniel into his room and pulled a box from under the bed, “There it is! Don't forget!” He picked a bottle and threw it at Daniel. The boy nodded, afraid of further angering his father, and hurried into the living room to give his sister the medicine.

She wasn't completely unconscious. She lay on the couch, barely able to move, and her white nightgown completely soaked in blood. The pained expression on her face maimed a little piece of Daniel's heart.

John went to the stairs, but didn't ascend them – he merely stood, watching Daniel give the fragile girl her medicine. “She'd be better off dead,” he said in a low voice, sending Daniel a furious glare, “She's not worth keeping alive.”

Daniel defiantly looked his father in the eyes. _You mean that she wasn't worth Mother's death._

The older man didn't utter another word. He went upstairs to his room, locking himself up for the night. Daniel sighed and focused his attention on his sister. Tears streamed down her face. “He hates me, Daniel… Because it was my fault that Mum died…” she sobbed, unable to keep from crying any more. She wasn't coughing up blood any longer, but rather choking on her tears.

“Hush, it's not true,” Daniel said, though he knew that it was going to be difficult to comfort Hazel after this. So, instead of trying, he just let her cry while he held her.

The storm finally quieted down. Rain was still falling outside, but it was not hammering down on the roof and windows like earlier, and the thunder had ceased. For a while the silence dominated, and it felt somehow soothing. Hazel didn't speak up again until right before she fell asleep. “I just … want to show him that I'm not a waste of life...”

“You're not,” Daniel whispered and stroked her hair, “He'll see someday. You're beautiful, Hazel. You should live, even if Mum didn't.”

Her lids slid close, her lashes completely dry. A few moments later her breathing stilled.

Daniel unbuttoned her dress a bit to check up on the bruises on her chest. They had gotten darker and larger. The laudanum wasn't helping anything, but Daniel knew that already. It may have stalled the violent seizures, but it wasn't keeping Hazel's heart from breaking.

* * *

The miller didn't have a shift for Daniel, so there was no work today – unless John decided to drag his son back to the studio again, but he hadn't been doing that a lot as of lately. It seemed like Father was much content with working alone at the moment.

This noon the sun was shining. Not quite enough to actually warm the air, but there were no clouds and that was always a good sign. First came spring, then summer, and summer was the one temporary escape that he had.

He wandered the long road from school alone. He could take the shorter route to the village like all the other children in his class, but he didn't – he never did. He would rather walk alone. This way he could be sure that no one would bother him.

There was nothing but fields and trees on either side of the path, and occasionally he would walk past an isolated farmhouse, but not much else. He did feel relieved to be out of school, even though Henry hadn't been too bad today – a couple of comments and shoves was all that Daniel had had to deal with – but even despite that, he didn't feel completely calm. In fact, he was worried that he might be on the verge to paranoia. It was all too quiet. Too peaceful.

Daniel wasn't stupid. He knew better than to relax immediately just because he was out of the school grounds, especially after what had happened barely two months ago. Nowhere was safe any more. There was never any escape. Things like this live with you always. How could he know if Henry would show up down the road or even at his house? Was he that mad? Would he do that?

He shook off the thought of his sadistic classmate. There was still a bit of a walk till he reached the small gathering of houses that made up the village he lived in, and he was better off focusing on something else.

The village wasn't an actual village, it was just one of many small communities scattered around Canterbury. It was definitely not the poorest part of town. Though not the very ideal place to live, many of the families here were well off thanks to their livestock and independent shops.

John and his wife had once qualified as a middle class working family and certainly had had a fair amount of money, like Hazel had mentioned. John still ran his studio, but he had been forced to close the store he had rented in the town centre. Evelyn had been a tailor. She used to sell her dresses and suits alongside John's furniture and sculptures. Daniel was just a small five year old boy. Evelyn became pregnant with Hazel, and John saw it as a blessing back then.

But then the financial crisis began; it started in London, and though it didn't seem significant to the high class, it escalated quickly out on the country. Canterbury's farmers and shopkeepers suffered greatly due to this. Daniel remembered vividly how John had changed his mind about the unborn embryo in a heartbeat. Evelyn fell ill and couldn't work. The tone changed completely. The shop in the city was closed.

 

**1823**

 

> “ _Don't tell me that you're ill again! It's that baby, isn't it?”_
> 
> “ _John, it is no one's fault… It just happens once in a while when a woman is pregnant…”_
> 
> _Daniel pulled his cover up over his head. His parents probably thought that he was sleeping. How silly, how could anybody sleep with the noise they were making?_
> 
> _A low snarl, then a loud crash was heard, and John screamed. Evelyn let out a small wimp._
> 
> “ _Oh, John! Did you hurt yourself? Please, be careful…”_
> 
> “ _Of course I'm hurt, I rammed my hand into a bloody vase, Evelyn!”_
> 
> _Evelyn obviously tried to reason and take care of her husband's wound, but John was intractable. “Why is it always the children? I give them everything, and they let me down! Show no respect!”_
> 
> “ _John, Daniel is doing his best… And this baby has not even had a chance yet…”_
> 
> “ _ **SHUT UP, Evelyn!** ”_
> 
> _Daniel winced on his mother's behalf. At least he didn't hear a slap. Father loved Mother a lot. He only hurt her when it was really necessary, that was what she always said._
> 
> _There was silence for a while before John spoke again, “We cannot afford it. We won't be able to live only on my income. This damned crisis...”_
> 
> “ _I know, dear,” Evelyn said softly, “I know… I will keep working…”_
> 
> “ _You can't. You are ill.”_
> 
> “ _Surely I can fix together a couple of shirts and trousers for the gentlemen Thatcher and Burns, they were so generous-”_
> 
> “ _That's final, Evelyn! Not another word!” One of the lanterns in the living room were put out. Suddenly John became alert, “What is this? Is the boy not sleeping?”_
> 
> _Daniel hiccuped in shock. He had forgotten to close the door completely!_
> 
> “ _Daniel! You should be sleeping! How dare you disrespect my command?”_
> 
> _He knew it was too late to try and pretend to be asleep, his father already stood in the door frame. John swiftly walked over to the bedside table and reached for the lit lantern. Daniel sat up horrified and grabbed his father's arm, “Daddy, no!”_
> 
> “ _Give me that lantern, you're wasting oil. You're too old to sleep with the lights on, Christ!_ _” John barked and pushed Daniel back in the bed. One fleeting second, and all was dark._
> 
> _The boy tried not to sob. There was no use in protesting. John marched out of the room again, slamming the door behind him. Muffled voices could still be heard on the other side._
> 
> “ _John, he is but a child… And after the incident in the basement last month, it is no wonder he is still afraid!”_
> 
> “ _He's a man! He should act like one!”_
> 
> “ _But darling- !”_
> 
> “ _We're **done** , Evelyn!”_
> 
> _And all went silent._

 

Finally the small stable on the outskirts of the village came into sight. It was empty. It was nothing unusual, the animals were in the pen at this time of day.

Daniel walked further into the streets, past several houses and a barn. There were not many people around; most of his classmates would already have gotten home by this time. A couple of children younger than him ran around in the large space qualifying as the plaza. Only a single worn out fountain filled the square, but the water was too dirty to drink. Everyone fetched water from the well a little bit further outside the village. He turned around a corner and hurried down a small street.

Something was off. It took him a little while to notice, but it was unmistakable – someone was following him.

Not just one, it was many. Suddenly his classmates started showing up; they ran out of their houses, going in the same direction as Daniel. Even a few younger children joined, and a lot of others he didn't know. _What is going on?_ he thought.

He picked up his pace and turned around the corner. Even though there still was a fair distance to his house from where he stood, he got a clear view of it – and the crowd right outside it.

Daniel halted and stared. Why were all his classmates gathered around his house? He ran the last bit over to the isolated small building. They seemed to be laughing a great deal and playing with something, throwing it in between each other...

His eyes widened. It was Hazel's plush toy!

“Hey! Stop that, give it back!” he yelled and ran inside the middle of the assembly. The boy holding on to the toy just laughed and threw it right over Daniel's head to another boy standing nearby.

“Does Wilkinson want his bunny?”

Daniel turned around, only to be faced with Henry. He looked very amused. Daniel didn't have the patience for this. “It is not yours, Henry,” he said in a low voice, “Give it back!”

Henry laughed, “Or else what, Danny? Are you going to beat me up? As if!”

Daniel felt sick. “Where is Hazel?”

“Your sister locked herself in, she was too scared to try and get her precious toy back. I guess cowardice runs in the family!”

Everyone laughed. Daniel fisted his hands, his blood boiling. “Don't talk about my sister like that!”

“Daniel, no empty threats are ever going to make you intimidating,” Henry cackled. His swamp green eyes glinted mischievously in the sunlight. Every subtle comment was another challenge, an anticipation for Daniel to crack – pushing him to his limits, trying to get a reaction.

Another boy named Jonah bid in, “I bet his mother got into another man's bed! That is why Daddy hates baby sis so much!”

“She probably died of the cooties!” another one said, and the whole crowd laughed as if it was the funniest thing in the world.

But it was not funny.

Daniel wanted to say something, but the boys started to push him back and forth. The girls stood further away, just watching the whole ordeal while they laughed as if it was some kind of show.

“So we know why his dad hates his sister so much… What excuse does Danny-boy himself have?” a boy, Daniel recognized as Sebastian from his class, said before giving another push. Sebastian was a regular member of the pack, Henry brought with him whenever he felt like terrorising Daniel.

“Just the simple reason that he's a weakling who cannot even take care of his own family,” Henry said with a malicious grin plastered over his face.

That was it. Something snapped inside of him. Daniel took a swipe with his fist, but the boys moved away from him before he managed to hit anyone. Everyone gasped, obviously not having expected him to fight back – but Daniel wasn't done yet. He felt nothing but bitter rage. He wanted to show them all that he definitely wasn't a weakling.

He aimed for Henry. Henry quickly served Daniel a badly aimed punch; he must have still been recovering from the shock of the smaller boy's sudden outburst, for it was unlike Henry not to hit precisely. Daniel fell back onto the ground, completely disoriented from taking the blow. He could hear the blood pounding in his ears.

“You want to start a fight, Wilkinson?” Henry roared, “You want to start a _riot?”_ The others cheered and started chanting Henry's name over and over again.

Daniel looked up at Henry through a blurred vision. He was bathing in his triumph. Everyone was clapping and cheering. A streak of blood ran down from the corner of Daniel's mouth over his chin. He wiped it with the back of his hand and slowly stood up.

The cheering subsided. Henry looked at Daniel again. “What now? You want more?” he said with a wry smile.

“You know,” Daniel said without looking up from his feet, “You're one to talk about fornication.”

Henry's smile vanished immediately. “What did you say?” He took a step forward.

“At least my mother was married,” Daniel kicked a stone, “before giving birth to her children. Much unlike your own castaway and _disowned mother.”_

For a moment there was silence. Electricity filled the air. No one made a sound. Breaths were being held.

Henry looked as if he had just seen a ghost. Then he charged.

“You little _ **RAT!**_ _”_

Daniel dodged the attack, resulting in Henry falling onto the ground instead. This obviously didn't ease Henry's mood. Everyone had stopped cheering and chanting. They just stared in shock.

Henry tried desperately to hit Daniel again. “You have no idea what you're talking about! You know _NOTHING_ about me and Mum! _**NOTHING!**_ _”_

Daniel's heart was beating furiously. He had never seen Henry like this before. Tears streamed down his face – tears of rage. His anger had made him completely out of control of his emotions. _“YOU'RE A LIAR! A DIRTY LIAR!_ _ **GO TO HELL!**_ _”_

One last time he jumped on Daniel, but a luckily placed kick made Henry scream in pain and curl up on the ground, clutching his groin. Everyone gasped.

Daniel stopped and stared, unable to believe what had just happened. He didn't know how he had been able to do that – it wasn't even his intention. It was pure instinct!

Henry just lay there, moaning. Daniel felt paralysed. What now? Was he supposed to claim victory by killing Henry? He couldn't do that! He had never imagined he'd ever actually _win_ a fight against him. He wasn't prepared!

“Come on, Daniel, take him out!” someone yelled.

The others complied, and suddenly everyone began chanting again – this time, “Daniel! Daniel!” It was surreal.

Daniel grabbed a rock lying on the ground, a fairly large one. A drop of sweat ran down the side of his head. The other children cheered him on. His name voiced in a steadily rising pace, urging him to do it. _Am I really doing this?_ the young boy thought and struck his victim with a rock.

Henry let out a piercing scream, almost as agonised as the one Daniel had heard him cry out back when he had witnessed his mother abusing him. He regretted it immediately. _What have I done?_

“ _ **DANIEL!**_ _”_ a familiar voice roared.

There was no more cheering. Everyone fell silent. The man standing before them was not someone to mess around with. Daniel gulped, knowing that his father would not let this go unpunished.

* * *

He fell to the kitchen floor. Tears were beginning to well in his eyes as he received the first kick in his stomach. Hazel remained hidden, in fear she too would be punished.

“Do you know what I have to deal with now? That trashy lady is going to come after me because of you!”

The second kick made Daniel gasp for air. He coughed, trying to scramble away from his father, but his body let him down and he collapsed back onto the floor instead. John took a sip of his bottle. “You think that boy has anger problems? Imagine how mad his mother is!”

Hazel flinched when Daniel received another kick, holding on tightly to her Mr. James. She wanted it to stop; it was her fault and she just let Daniel take the beating. But still she remained frozen in her spot behind the couch in the living room.

John started to unwrap his belt. “You cause nothing but trouble, you worthless brat! Why am I burdened with such a disrespectful child? _**You should have never been born!**_ _”_

An even more unbearable pain stroke across Daniel's shoulder blade and cheek. He let out a cry. The cut burned and a small drop of blood ran down the side of his face. John grabbed his arm and started to rip off his shirt. His heart sped up, fear coming over him. “No, Father!”

John didn't care about his son's pleading. It only took a moment before Daniel's back was bare and he was thrown back onto the floor. He didn't even have time to brace himself before the belt sliced through the air.

Hazel squeezed her eyes close as her brother's scream filled the house. She tried not to sob too loudly.

“Dad, please…” Daniel whimpered, tears streaming down his face as well as blood running down his back. John heard nothing. He continued to whip his son without mercy. He put all of his anger into each one of the lashes, not caring about the amount of pain and damage he brought upon the small boy.

Eventually his fury subsided and he lowered his arm. By this time, Daniel's back was completely smeared in blood. He squeezed himself up against the wall, covering his face and shaking uncontrollably. The man took a last sip of the bottle, pouring the rest over his son. Daniel's body stiffened as the liquid slid into the wounds on his back, and he let out a small sob.

“Drink, son,” John said with a slurred voice, “It will make the pain go away.”

Daniel didn't make a sound. He fisted his hands, not bothering to try and wipe his face. It felt like his back was on fire, and the alcohol did not reduce the pain one bit – quite the contrary.

John trudged over to the cupboard and grabbed another bottle. The whole reason why he had showed up at all was because he had run out of whisky, so he had gone home to stock up. “I should lock you up in the closet,” John growled, “Or the basement. Else you'll just end up assaulting some other poor kid.”

“Not the basement...” Daniel whispered. Indifferent grey eyes watched as the boy finally broke down completely, lying on the floor. John didn't say any more. He just walked out of the door, slamming it behind him.

Hazel was also crying. If only she could have done something. But Daniel had ushered her into hiding behind the couch as soon as he was thrown inside the living room, merely a moment before John had grabbed his arm and dragged him into the kitchen. She peeked out of her safe haven and moved over towards Daniel. She reached a hand out to grab his shoulder.

“Don't touch me.”

She lowered her hand again and looked at him with tearful green eyes. Daniel didn't cry any more. He just drew in deep breaths, his shoulders rising and falling, shivering ever so slightly. Hazel couldn't bear it any longer. “I'm sorry, Danny,” she sobbed.

There was a long pause. “Why … did you open the door …?”

She knew what he was referring to. “I... T-they asked if you were home... They told me that they were your friends…”

Daniel sat up slowly. He tried not to lean his back against the wall. “Hazel... I don't have any friends,” he mumbled, “Not other than Serena. Don't trust other children...”

“I know, Danny, I'm sorry,” she said, wiping the tears that wouldn't stop falling, “T-they took Mr. James, and look, they tore his belly!”

Hazel handed her plush bunny to Daniel and he examined it. There was indeed a tear in its stomach, but nothing too severe. It just needed a bit of sewing. “Don't worry, Hazel,” he said, “I'll take care of it.”

“But first you need to take care of yourself!” she exclaimed and stood up to get the first aid kit.

“And you need to be in your bed,” Daniel said, moaning as he shifted into another position, “You're ill, remember?”

Hazel put her hands on her hips in an attempt to look authoritative. “Don't tell me you really think that my illness is more urgent than those cuts! Besides, I'm feeling fine today...”

Daniel gathered himself and stood up. “Just go to bed again, Hazel,” he said and grabbed a towel from the closet in the kitchen, “I am going to shower.”

“Are you sure you don't need help?” Hazel said, fidgeting with her braids. Daniel nodded with a gentle smile, before dragging himself out to the modest shower cabin at the back of the house. What he needed most right now was to wash away the shame.

 


	8. Things Kept Quiet

Just like John had foreseen, Henry's mother showed up to express her displeasure. It was not pretty. “Your son _savaged_ my boy!” the woman said and pointed an accusing finger at Daniel. He peeked out from his room, Hazel hiding behind him. “He should be locked up! He's clearly dangerous and a bad influence!”

“Get out, you crazy old hag!” John roared, “I've already punished him plenty! Maybe you should spend some time educating your own child instead of telling others how to do it, aye?”

She looked at him in disbelief, the anger obvious in her face. “Henry is greatly injured, you bastard! And you're telling me that _I_ need to bring up _my_ child?!”

“If he was a bit more of a man he would not have let himself get beaten up by my son! I'm not going to discipline him for defending himself, Eleanor!”

Henry's mother did not appreciate John addressing her by her first name. “How disrespectful! Your whole family is _deranged!”_

Daniel found it strangely funny how Eleanor allowed herself to declare his family deranged as she was barely even able to stand on her own two feet due to the alcohol abuse. The hunched back, thin hair and deformed face did not look very sober at all.

“I've had it with you! Go bother someone else!” John said. The veins in his neck were visible.

“This is not over, John! If that brat lays a hand on my baby again, I'll have him annihilated! I'm warning you!” Eleanor shouted furiously, making all kinds of violent gestures with her hands.

John dismissed her, “Yes, I think we all understood that! Thank you for stopping by!”

Eleanor continued yelling curses at Father, even after he had closed the door. Daniel was confident that at least five minutes passed before she finally gave up and went home. He still stood in the doorway to his room as John headed for his. When he started ascending the stairs, the boy peeped, “Thank you, Dad.”

There was no reply.

Henry didn't show up in school for a week. Daniel hadn't even realised that the hit had been so critical. He had just aimed for Henry's head and he had hit the temple. Was it possible that he could have caused Henry brain damage? He didn't want to think about it, already feeling guilty enough as it was. His classmates didn't seem as worried, though.

“Daniel!” the other boys had yelled, “Come play with us!”

Daniel felt speechless, even a little nervous. He didn't know how he was supposed to handle this new fame that had come over him. “I-I can't,” he told them, “I have to work.” After a while of various excuses of chores and work, the children gave up and everything went back to normal. Daniel was invisible again, and he found that he liked it better that way.

Eventually Henry came back to school and he definitely wasn't happy about what had happened. Daniel was relieved to see that Henry was all right, but soon the relief was replaced with fear. Everyone in class could sense the anger radiating from the bigger boy. No one wanted to go near him aside from his usual pack. Already the first day Henry was back in school, he grabbed Daniel by his collar.

“I bet you feel really smart, huh?” he said. His voice was dripping acid. “Don't think that you're safe now. I won't forget this, Wilkinson.”

Daniel did not feel neither smart nor safe. He was terrified. He already knew that Henry Bedloe wouldn't forget, he didn't feel the need to be reminded. If he thought that his place in school was bad now, it would certainly get even worse.

* * *

Summer was finally just around the corner. John was still working a lot without letting Daniel come with him. Daniel knew that he was still angry about the incident with Henry, even though it had been a few months now. He didn't blame him; he himself felt bad about it. If he was his own father, he also would be disappointed – though surely not as aggressive about it.

Daniel had worked until dinner time at the miller's. The sun was still up when he returned home. He walked in to find Hazel, not in her bed, but in the kitchen trying to prepare dinner. He nearly had a heart attack. “Hazel!” he exclaimed and ran to her, “Why are you not in bed? What do you think you're doing?”

Hazel seemed overwhelmed, but gave him an innocent smile, “I'm cooking dinner!”

Daniel frowned for a moment, then placed his hands on his hips. “Dinner? When did you learn to cook?”

“Please, Danny, let me do something!” she pleaded, folding her hands, “I never get to help out! I don't want to just lie around in bed all day, that's all I do! Look, I'm getting chubby!” She pinched her cheeks.

He couldn't help himself from laughing and sat down by the dinner table, “You've always looked like that, Hazel.”

She gave him a look of disbelief, then crossed her arms with a pout. “You've always thought I've been fat?”

He shook his head, still chuckling. “You're missing the point. You need to recover from your illness.”

Sadness draped her round face. “But it's boring…” She gave him her best puppy eyes, her lips pursed. How was Daniel supposed to resist that?

He thought about it for a while, then said with a gentle smile, “All right, you can help me out with dinner. I'm sure Dad will appreciate it.”

Hazel lit up and clapped her hands. “You think so? I'll make a tasty dinner for Daddy!” she said and quickly turned around to continue what she was doing.

Daniel stopped her in her tracks. “But you're only going to do what I allow you to!” he said and took the knife she was about to grab.

She pouted, but complied. “All right, then!”

Hazel enjoyed herself a lot, Daniel could tell. She was chattering more than usual and that was saying a lot, considering that she didn't really have an outdoor life to talk about – but Daniel didn't mind. Nothing was better than seeing Hazel this elated. She was radiating, glowing, just like the morning star in the fairy tale. Maybe he could allow himself to forget that she had an illness just for a short while.

Daniel let Hazel wash the vegetables, but he would not let her near a knife or the stove, so there really wasn't much for her to do. She seasoned the meat and made sure herself that it tasted just as she thought it should. Nothing should be less than perfect. She had Daniel taste the beef. He couldn't bring himself to tell her that she had put too much salt in it, so he just forced a smile and told her that it was excellent. That happy expression on his sister's face was worth more than all the money in the world.

He never knew it would make such a difference to actually let Hazel out of her bed. Thinking about it, it really couldn't be healthy for her to be locked up like that. Maybe he should reconsider his method of caring for her. But then again, which other way could Daniel be sure that she was resting? He would just have to save these moments for whenever he had time to look after her. She wasn't going to have another seizure while he wasn't there to take care of it, that was for sure.

The dinner was ready within an hour. Hazel was proud of herself. Daniel made sure to feed her a lot of compliments to further increase her good mood. Now everything that was left to do was wait for their father to return home.

* * *

The sun had started to set by seven o'clock. John should have returned home by now, but he still hadn't showed up. The siblings had laid the table and sat silently around it with an empty seat between them. Almost an hour had passed and the conversation between them had stalled. Hazel asked for the third time, “When will Father return home?”

Her big green eyes held an expectation that Daniel wasn't sure he could meet. He sighed, “I don't know, Hazel... But it should be any minute now.”

She just nodded and returned her gaze to her plate. She started poking the vegetables with her fork.

Hazel wasn't so chatty any more. The glow she had emitted before had faded. Just an hour earlier she had been laughing and playing around with her older brother, but now she was quiet.

Daniel looked at her. “So... What have you been doing today?” he said.

“Nothing,” she mumbled, “I'm not allowed to move out of my bed.”

He paused shortly, considering what he had decided with himself earlier. “You can get out of your bed,” he said, frowning, “Just ... don't move around too much.”

Hazel didn't answer. She had her gaze fixed on her food. It had been forty minutes, and John hadn't come home. The food was getting cold.

Daniel knew why Hazel was so forlorn. She had finally done something useful, and John wasn't here to see it. He didn't return home to eat the food, she had gone out of her way to make for him. He wasn't there to appreciate her.

He hesitated for a bit, then said, “... Let's eat, Hazel...”

Hazel nodded silently and began digging into her beef. He wanted to console her, but he already knew that he wouldn't be able to. Hazel was fragile. Daniel might have learned to live with John's neglect, but he feared that she never would.

* * *

Serena had a lot to tell. As soon as she and Daniel saw each other again, she told him everything about the girls from her school that bullied her. Daniel hadn't expected her to be that miserable. The other girls taunted her, pulled her hair and called her all kinds of dirty names – they even shot nasty insults about her family not being English. Daniel understood why that would be very hurtful.

She had tried talking to her older sisters about it, but they had just told her that she needed to push through. Apparently they had had it just as hard, if not worse due to their fathers not being part of the upper class society. At least Serena's father was a wealthy industrialist who held some kind of authority despite not being English.

Daniel had a hard time keeping track of Serena's large family. What he understood was that her mother was Chilean and she had immigrated to England some twenty years ago. She had four children with three different men, whom she had all been married to; her first husband had died, the second had ordered a divorce, and Hilmar, an Icelandic businessman and Serena's father, was the latest one. He himself had one other son, whom he had had with his deceased wife, but he was apparently residing in Iceland. Shortly after her death, Magdalena Lawrence, formerly da Silva, and Hilmar Thórsson met.

She cried her heart out and Daniel felt stupid. He had urged her to tell him all about it and promised he would be there, but when she finally confided in him, he just felt awkward and didn't know what to say. He simply patted her shoulder. This didn't console the poor girl, it just made her crave even more of Daniel's attention. He complied, hoping that his presence could be of little comfort to his friend, so he stayed out of the house a lot. Luckily, John didn't notice as he himself was working most of the time, but it did affect one other person.

The sun was shining ever so brightly outside, just like it did every summer. Hazel sighed, wishing like so many times before that she could go outside and play with the other children in the village. She hated staying in bed all the time. It was boring. Summertime was always the worst because the weather was so lovely; it seemed to mock her. And then there was that other reason, the one she could never dream of admitting to – Daniel spent all his time with Serena at this time of the year, so Hazel almost never saw him.

She climbed out of bed and pulled a box out from under it. This was the place where Daniel kept all of his history books. She picked one of them and opened it. It was definitely more advanced than the fairytale books. There was more text and the words were longer and harder to read. Hazel got back into her bed with a deep frown planted on her face.

“A-an...cent... Egypt so-city...” she mumbled, trying to make sense of the title. She looked at Mr. James. He was sitting still beside her, just watching over her with a patient and kind expression on his face.

“Can you read this to me, Mr. James?” she asked, “It's too difficult!”

“Of course, Hazel, I'm always here to help you,” he answered.

Hazel pouted. “That's not true.”

Mr. James' smile disappeared and he gave her an apologetic look. She fixed her gaze on the book again. “Tell me a fairytale, Daniel.”

Mr. James didn't answer. Hazel felt her eyes become watery and bit her lip. “You always forget about me now.”

“I love you, Hazel,” Mr. James said. He didn't move.

“I miss you, Daniel,” Hazel sobbed. She wiped the tears away, but they wouldn't stop running. “I know you deserve to be happy. But I miss you. Mum is gone, and Daddy doesn't care about us. You're all I have. But you have forgotten about me.” Her shoulders were shaking.

Mr. James didn't respond. He sat lifelessly beside her, just watching over her with that patient and kind expression.

This was the only way Hazel could vent out her emotions. She couldn't tell Daniel James Wilkinson how she felt, but she could scold Mr. James. He wouldn't get hurt.

* * *

The treetops in the Blean let in the sunlight, creating a warm and bright atmosphere. Daniel and Serena had placed themselves in the clearing on the soft grass. Daniel enjoyed this place. It was so peaceful and idyllic. He turned his gaze to Serena. She had been very quiet today. It was quite the change from how much she had been talking throughout the summer so far; she had told Daniel anything that she could think of, not holding anything back any more. Had she run out of things to say?

Daniel couldn't really tell if he minded or not. It wasn't so much annoying to him, as it would probably be to many others. This way she wouldn't notice that he didn't really have anything to say that would comfort her. But he had never believed Serena to be so caught up in herself, though. She hadn't even asked how Hazel was doing.

Serena raked up some straws from the ground. The silence wasn't comfortable. Daniel could tell that she was thinking about something, something that did not sit well with her. “What is wrong?” he asked.

She looked up at him with an expressionless face. “Nothing,” she said, “Should we go into the city? It is boring out here.”

Daniel frowned, not believing what he heard. “You know we can't do that, Serena. What if anyone sees us?”

“Why does it matter so much to you?” she scoffed and threw the straws back onto the grass rather aggressively, “Do you not want to be seen with me?”

He didn't know what to say. He would have thought that Serena would be more cautious about their meetings than him. “Surely you don't think that you're an embarrassment to me?” he said with wide eyes.

“It seems that I am!” she said, looking at him. “You always make such a big deal about us being seen together! Are you afraid that your friends from school are going to tease you because you're friends with a girl?”

“What? No!” Daniel blurted. This was getting really difficult. Why was she being so hostile?

“All right then,” she said and looked away. She crossed her arms.

Daniel didn't feel comfortable. He had never experienced Serena like this. She used to seem so selfless and kind, but right now he didn't like the way she was behaving. He didn't want to fight with her. “Serena...” he said and put a hand on her shoulder, “Look at me.”

She ignored his request, but he noticed her trembling as he touched her. He sighed and continued, “I did not mean it like that. I'm sorry.”

“You just never talk to me,” she said with a shaky voice.

Daniel tilted his head in confusion. “What? I have been talking to you all summer.”

“That is not what I mean!” she exclaimed and turned towards the older boy again, “You always just listen! You never respond and you never tell me how you feel! I feel like I am confiding in some lifeless doll!”

Daniel remained silent. He felt tired.

Tears welled up in her eyes. “I am sorry, too...” she whispered, “I feel like I am burdening you, and your silence is just further confirmation of that to me... It feels like you are ashamed of me or find me annoying...”

He instantly regretted the thoughts he had had about her just moments earlier. He never knew that his lack of response was the reason why she had become so sensitive. “I care about you, Serena. I would never feel ashamed of you. I was just trying to protect you.”

Serena was quiet for a moment before she said, “Maybe you should not be so overprotective. It can make you blind to how the people you care about are feeling.”

Daniel pondered what she said. How could he be blind to how she felt just because he wanted to protect her? He couldn't imagine how caring could cause harm. He didn't let her know that he dismissed her advice, though. “I'll remember.”

Serena kept silent for a bit. Then she said, “It would also be nice if you would tell me what is on your mind once in a while.”

“There is nothing to tell,” Daniel said.

“I refuse to believe that you are just a blank slate, Daniel!” she said with a high voice, “I know you! You must be thinking about a lot of things. You always seem like you are lost in your own world.”

Daniel started fidgeting with his shirt. “I believe I have always paid you a lot of attention, Miss Serena. It's some of an insult to me that you say I seem lost in my own world.”

The change of the way he addressed her alarmed Serena. “Daniel, do not call me that. We are friends.”

Daniel didn't answer. He didn't want to look at her.

“I am sorry, Daniel. I appreciate your attention. I know you are very patient. I just mean...” She trailed of, her voice getting thick again. “You don't open up to me...”

Those last words became nothing more than a whisper. Daniel still didn't look up. He kept his gaze fixed on his shirtsleeve.

Serena looked at him with tearful eyes. “Do you not want to be friends any more …?”

Daniel finally looked at the young girl again. He moistened his lips and said, “You are hurting me, Serena.”

“I am sorry,” she said, a single tear drop running down her face. Her brown eyes were sparkling somehow beautifully from the salt liquid.

He put his arms around her and pulled her into an embrace. “I will never let you go. You are my friend.” Serena broke down and cried into his shirt. It was a relief to the both of them.

* * *

The evening sun still offered a bit of warmth, but the winds were picking up. In the far distance of the meadow several hills could be seen waving their way through the landscape, and the sun lowering in the horizon filled the sky with pretty violet and orange colours.

Watching the sunset with Serena was one of the things Daniel enjoyed most about the summer. Sure, they had just had a fight, but they had made up again. He wanted to just forget about it, and he was positive that Serena felt the same way. She looked dreamily at the beautiful sight. “What are you thinking about, Daniel?” she said softly.

“That the sunset is very lovely.”

She lay down in the grass and turned towards him. “Tell me why you always become so nervous when we watch the sunset together.”

Daniel's jaw tightened. He thought that she hadn't noticed. He swallowed and looked at his hands. He had never told anyone. No one knew besides his sister and father. “I…” he said hesitantly, “I am not very fond of the dark.”

Serena gave him a weird look. “What do you mean?”

He took in a deep breath. This was harder than he thought it would be. He had never talked openly about it before. It felt like he was about to admit to something he had been denying to himself his whole life. “Something happened... And I became disturbed,” he mumbled, “So I don't like the darkness any more.”

Serena sat up beside him. “You mean that you are afraid of the dark?” she said with astonishment.

Daniel felt like a fool. Maybe it had been a bad idea after all. “If you put it that way...”

She didn't answer right away. The longer he waited for her to say something, the more anxious he grew. Did she think of him as a coward now? Would she laugh? Would she walk away? Daniel closed his eyes.

A whole minute passed before she spoke, “Then why do you always stay and watch the sunset with me?”

He shrugged. He didn't really feel like humiliating himself further.

Another pause, but then Serena put her arms around Daniel's neck. His eyes shot open in surprise. “It must be really hard,” she said, “It means a lot to me.”

Daniel remained stiff, trying to grasp the situation. She pulled back with a bright smile, “I am afraid of spiders!”

Daniel looked at her with wide eyes. He had not expected this kind of response. It felt like something heavy had been lifted off of his chest. A small smile formed on his face. “Thanks,” he said, his voice a soft murmur. They both turned their gaze back to the sunset. Serena comfortingly put her hand over Daniel's, letting him know that she would be there when the darkness arrived.

A little distance away at the outskirts of the Blean, a curious someone was hiding behind a tree, observing the scene. They couldn't keep their secret forever.

* * *

John had run out of beer once again. He scowled; why did nothing about his life seem to work out? He didn't ask for much. He just wanted the pain killers, that was all. He fumbled in his pockets to find the keys. The artisan had gone home to stock up on his alcohol again. It didn't occur to him even once that he might not run out so fast if he didn't drink several bottles a day. That would be ludicrous to think!

He was about to open the door to his house as a voice stopped him, “Mr. Wilkinson! How nice to see you!”

John turned around, only to be met with the sight of his plump neighbour, Mrs. Phillips. Her round face was red, her hair was orange and her dress was burgundy. John couldn't stand such vibrant colours.

“Oh... Good day, Mrs. Phillips,” John mumbled and turned to try and open the front door again – but Mrs. Phillips did not take the hint.

“How is the business? You rarely move out of your studio now, so I've heard. Is the demand high again?” she chortled and padded the big dog beside her on the head. To John it seemed like even the dog was tired of that sickeningly good mood.

John restrained himself and reluctantly said, “No, it is not.”

Mrs. Phillips' smile disappeared and she gave him a sympathetic look, one that John found to be very infuriating. “Oh, it'll come, I'm sure! You have so many beautiful sculptures!”

“Yes, thank you,” John said and tried to remove himself from the conversation, once again to no avail.

“By the way, I was wondering how your daughter is doing?” she continued, not noticing John's annoyance at all, “I haven't seen her around for a long time! She usually helps me out with my work on the farm, the sweet girl.”

John looked at Mrs. Phillips with a frown. He hadn't known about Hazel helping out around the village. He always thought that she was completely useless. He gritted his teeth and mumbled, “I don't know.”

He didn't give Mrs. Phillips the chance to answer this time. He opened the door rather aggressively and slammed it behind him. Mrs. Phillips looked at the door with wide eyes, surprised by John's manners. She knew that he was a tempered man, but this was very rude. He didn't even know about his own daughter's health!

* * *

Daniel spent his thirteenth birthday with Serena as per usual. She had cookies for him, but no books. She said that she had gotten into a lot of trouble last year because of money that had disappeared, so she wanted to be a bit more careful this time around. Unfortunately she had to leave early, so Daniel found himself walking home through the village before dinner time. He had a lot of cupcakes with him, though. Serena had given him the basket to share with Hazel.

As Daniel walked home, he reflected on his relationship with the upper class girl. It had somehow developed this summer. They had talked about intimate things, subjects Daniel had never touched on before. He felt that he was closer to her now, and he wasn't sure how he felt about that. He didn't want to give Serena the wrong impression. It seemed like she wanted to get closer to him. He appreciated her as a friend. He didn't want to ruin their friendship. Hopefully she didn't misunderstand his intentions.

The small house appeared in the distance. It didn't take Daniel long before he finally arrived home, and he put the keys in the lock and opened the door. He picked up on the choked rasps at once. He didn't even bother to kick off his boots – Daniel ran directly for the bedroom he shared with Hazel. He pushed open the door and was met with a horrifying sight.

Hazel lay on the floor, her whole body completely pale and her lips a violet colour. She grabbed onto her chest and stared at nothing, making rash and spastic movements with her limbs. She was choking, and a broken bottle of laudanum lay beside her while the ceramic inhaler was left on the bed.

And then there was the blood. The blood running down her chin. Her whole mouth was coloured in red, and there were stains all over the white nightgown. She looked like a ghost.

“ _NO!”_ Daniel yelled and fell down to his knees beside his sister. He grabbed onto her waist and tried to pull her up. Hazel kept vomiting blood, and Daniel's white shirtsleeves were soon a deep red colour, too. He frantically reached under his bed for the box where the laudanum was stocked. He didn't have time to fetch a spoon, so he simply removed the lid and made Hazel drink directly from the bottle.

But Hazel's body resisted. Merely moments after she swallowed, she threw it all up again. Tears ran down her face. What was he going to do? If Hazel couldn't keep the laudanum down, he wasn't able to help her!

Daniel grabbed onto Hazel and carried her to her bed, giving her a cloth she could cough into. “Hazel, don't worry! Stay here!” he said panicked, his eyes blinking.

Hazel wasn't able to answer. This seizure was really serious. Daniel had never experienced the laudanum backfire like that. He couldn't do this alone.

He shot up to his feet and ran out the house towards the Canterbury town centre. He needed Doctor Tate.

* * *

Tate was still there when John returned home a couple of hours later.

Daniel knew that Doctor Tate would be in town; he had a schedule in Canterbury that lasted from mid July till early August. Through the years, Tate had grown quite fond of the lad and his efforts concerning his sister, so despite them not having a lot of money, he wanted to help the poor children as much as he could. He only spent a few minutes packing a bag with the most important medicinal instruments before following Daniel back to his house.

He had stopped the vomiting and choking, but Hazel was now crying hysterically and kept whimpering about how much pain she was in. It broke Daniel's heart. When he heard the front door burst open, his breath caught in his throat. He had managed to keep John from knowing about Doctor Tate, but what would he say now? What if he sent the physician away, yelling about not having money to pay for his services?

Hazel stopped sobbing. Dread was obvious in her face. Daniel knew that she was just as worried about how John would react as he was.

John noticed the commotion in the bedroom at once and walked in. “What is going on? Who are you?”

Tate stopped what he was doing. “I assume you must be the children's father. I am Doctor Tate,” he said.

John glanced at Hazel, then at Daniel. “What happened?” he growled.

Daniel swallowed. “S-she had a seizure,” he said quickly.

“A very serious one at that,” Tate added and continued preparing his gear. Hazel strained herself not to cry. She stared at her father. The tears had dried her cheeks.

John said no more. He observed the Doctor for a while, then just walked in and sat down on Daniel's bed. Doctor Tate picked up a large jar from his bag. It was filled with something large and obsidian and dense looking. He also placed a small container beside Hazel on the bed.

Daniel noticed the liquid in the jar move. “What is that?” he asked.

“This will get rid of the bad blood,” Tate said and started removing the lid, “It's a very time consuming procedure – and usually also very expensive. But I'll give you a discount.” He grabbed some tweezers and reached into the jar. That was when Daniel realised that the contents of the jar wasn't a liquid.

Doctor Tate placed the animal onto Hazel's bare chest. She whimpered as it bit onto her and began sucking. Blood started to trickle from underneath the leech. Tate placed the container so it would catch the blood.

Daniel looked at his father with doubt in his eyes. John didn't say anything. He simply observed the Doctor. He noticed Daniel's eyes on him and said, “Don't worry. This will be good for her.”

The young boy was surprised to say the least. He turned to stare at the bloodsucker again. Hazel grew tired. The marks on her chest slowly disappeared as her whole body paled. Less than an hour later she fell asleep.

* * *

“All right, Doctor,” John said as Tate packed his things, “Tell us what is wrong with her.”

The physician fixed his glasses. “Let's move out into the living room. We shouldn't disturb the patient.” Daniel followed John and Doctor Tate out. He placed himself beside his father to hear what the Doctor had to say. Tate pondered for a while, seemingly in doubt about how he should say it. At last he decided on just putting it out on the table. “Your daughter is dying, Mr. Wilkinson.”

The air became chill. It felt like the blood in Daniel's veins turned to ice.

John didn't respond right away. “Are you sure?”

Doctor Tate sighed, “Her condition has become very critical. This was an extreme incident. Unless she starts getting treatment on a regular basis, I do not see her live to become an adult.“

Daniel's jaw tightened. He fisted his hands.

“And how much is the regular treatment?” John said, though not sounding very hopeful.

“I can give you a discount, as I mentioned earlier,” Tate said, “But she will not be able to get the treatment from me unless she is relocated to the London Infirmary, and that will also require a fixed expense.”

“How much is it?” John repeated, his voice low. Daniel knew that his father was losing his patience.

Doctor Tate remained silent for a moment. “4 pounds,” he said, “A month.”

Daniel's heart dropped all the way down to his stomach. They would never be able to afford that.

John nodded. “Thank you, Doctor,” he said. He followed Doctor Tate out of the door and closed it after him.

There was silence. John stood by the door, not bothering to look at his son.

Daniel stared at the front door for a moment. Then he turned around and went into his room, slamming the door behind him.

 


	9. Still Alive

The summer vacation was over with the blink of an eye. Daniel didn't tell Serena about Hazel's worsening condition. He knew that she would try to get him money, and he didn't want her to worry about that. She had her own problems.

He felt sad by the thought that he wouldn't be able to spend as much time with Serena next summer, as he would have to work a lot more at the miller's. He knew that it was hopeless, but he wanted to do as much as he could to save Hazel. He wouldn't give in without a fight.

Serena travelled back to London, and Daniel started school again. He couldn't get his mind off of Hazel. He was constantly worried that she might be dead when he returned home from school or work. He barely got any sleep, and as if Hazel's poor health wasn't a big enough problem in itself, he soon would have even more to worry about. Already the first day Daniel returned to school, he was met by a new complication.

Daniel didn't even notice Henry standing around the corner. As soon as he walked by, Henry grabbed him and pulled him into an empty classroom, closing the door behind them.

“Wilkinson,” Henry said and closed in on Daniel with a vicious smile, “I know about your dirty little secret!”

“What secret?” Daniel said, pressing himself against one of the tables, “I haven't done anything!”

Henry just laughed. “How stupid do you think I am?”

“I really don't know what you are talking about,” Daniel said and gave Henry a defiant look.

The older boy grabbed Daniel's arm and roared into his face, “Don't mess around with me. I saw you!”

“ _What_ did you see?” Daniel yelled back, losing his patience. He was tired of being pushed around by Henry.

“I saw you holding hands with that girl!” said Henry furiously, “The girl from that rich family that visits Canterbury every summer!”

Daniel froze in his spot. “You don't know what you saw.”

Henry began snickering again, almost maniacally this time. “You're fooling around with a girl of the upper class,” he said, “It would be really bad if anyone found out.”

“What do you want, Henry?” Daniel groaned, just wanting Henry to get to the point. Was this his revenge? He really hoped not.

“Finally we're getting somewhere,” Henry rubbed his hands against each other, “Now, if you want me to keep quiet – and I'm pretty sure you do – I'll need you to do me some small favours.”

This could not end well. Daniel gulped.

* * *

It couldn't be helped. Hazel was getting baptised, with or without John's blessing. Ever since Doctor Tate's treatment, Hazel hadn't done much other than sleep. Daniel did his best to keep her conscious as they walked to the Canterbury centre, hand in hand, but she was very weak. She barely noticed what was going on around her.

He normally didn't allow her out of the house, but he had gotten really worried now. He didn't want Hazel to be completely dead if she didn't survive this illness. He wanted her soul to live on with Christ. This was an emergency.

Hazel wasn't excited this time. Daniel hadn't told her that she was dying, but she knew herself. She could tell that the pain far exceeded what any other human being should feel on a regular basis. It felt serious. And the tension back home also was a give away.

Daniel looked down at his younger sister. She was quiet. He turned his gaze to the road and saw a coach come strolling towards them. “Look, Hazel,” he said, “It's a carriage!”

Hazel only gave a bitter response, “I know, Danny, I have seen a carriage before.”

He didn't say any more. Hazel's gloomy attitude wasn't making him feel better. He couldn't help but think that it was his fault that Hazel wouldn't grow up and lead a normal life, and that she was blaming him, too. He wasn't able to take care of her. He wasn't strong enough. He was weak.

Daniel bit his lip and tightened his grip around Hazel's hand. His inner demons were fighting. He forced them to stop. He would never let them win.

The Westgate came into sight and they walked over the bridge leading into the city. Once again, Daniel walked with Hazel directly down St. Peter's Street and went to the Buttermarket. This time he wasn't headed for Mrs. Bell's Treats and Sweets, though, but instead the building right across from it – Canterbury Cathedral.

Daniel and Hazel went through the church gate and walked the short distance to the entrance. Stepping inside they found themselves at the far end of the nave, looking towards the choir. It was Sunday, but people hadn't showed up for the service yet. It was still early. A few commoners could be seen sitting on the benches praying, while some tourists walked around, simply enjoying the architecture.

The Archbishop, William Howley stood by the choir, flipping through some pages in a thick book. Daniel moved towards him, determination in his steps. Hazel struggled to keep up with her older brother. “Excuse me, Bishop, sir,” Daniel said as he got closer.

The elderly man turned towards the boy, confusion apparent in his face. “Good day, son,” he said and gave Daniel a warm smile, “Can I help you?”

Daniel returned the smile, “We would like to have performed a christening.”

Bishop Howley frowned and rubbed his chin, “Oh. When?”

“Now.”

Howley's eyes widened. “Now?”

Daniel nodded. Hazel was distracted by the scenery. It was a really beautiful church. She vaguely remembered being inside of it before, but she must have been too young to get a clear image of it.

The Bishop closed his book and put a hand on his hip. “I don't think that will be possible. I am going to start the service in just half an hour.”

“Can you not fit in just a small ceremony?” Daniel said and gave him a pleading look, “It won't take long!”

Howley considered it, then said, “Only if you are willing to have a public christening during the service. I cannot offer a big ceremony today.”

“A public christening will be just fine!” the young boy said and nodded eagerly.

“Who is getting baptised?”

Daniel gestured to Hazel. Howley's eyes widened once again. “Has she not been christened yet?” Daniel shook his head. The Bishop nodded thoughtfully, “Then it's about time. I'll fix the ceremony for you.”

Daniel smiled, “Thank you, Bishop!”

* * *

By the time the service started, the church was filled with people. Daniel and Hazel sat on the front row, so that they could easily walk up to the altar when it was time for the baptism. Hazel looked around the church. A lot of people she hadn't seen before were present. It wasn't that unusual as she hadn't been out of the house a lot, so she didn't know many of the citizens in Canterbury.

Daniel noticed Hazel's curiosity. He whispered, “Do you know what you are going to pray for?”

Hazel looked up at Daniel. She shook her head.

“I want you to think really good about it,” he said, “Not all prayers are fulfilled, but if the Lord finds yours to be meaningful enough, he will grant your wish.”

Hazel gazed upon her brother, then looked up towards the altar again. “I know what I'm going to pray for.”

Daniel tilted his head. “Really? What is it, then?”

She giggled, “I'm not going to tell you! Then it won't work!”

The older boy laughed and shook his head. He couldn't argue with that logic.

The service dragged on for a good forty minutes before the Bishop called Daniel and Hazel up to the altar. Daniel helped Hazel onto her feet; she had gotten some difficulties walking as of late. She blamed it on her lying in bed all day. She looked out at the many people sitting on the benches. The nave was long and the loft high. It all seemed very surreal to her.

“We are gathered here today to baptise and christen this child, the daughter of John Wilkinson and Evelyn James, and to recognise that she is the child of God,” the Bishop spoke and brought Hazel closer to the small container filled with the holy water. She glanced at Daniel. He just nodded with a gentle smile.

Howley turned towards Daniel, “What name shall be given to this child?”

“Hazel Evelyn Wilkinson,” Daniel said without hesitation.

The Bishop held a long speech, asking Daniel once in a while if he agreed to the conditions. When asked about godparents, Daniel told him that he was going to care for her if anything happened to their father. He already was – he didn't say that out loud, though. After the long ordeal, the Bishop turned towards the container and Hazel ducked her head. “I baptise you in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.”

After the ceremony, Daniel and Hazel went back down the nave headed for the church exit, as Daniel suddenly overheard a conversation.

“Ah, Mrs. Evans! Have you come to visit the grave of your late husband?”

Daniel turned around. He saw a tall woman in a long, black dress talk to Archbishop William Howley. A long black veil covered the widow's face. “Yes, I thought I should bring him some flowers. The man was more fond of them than me.”

Her voice was dry and she dragged on every syllable with a snarl. The Bishop laughed, but Mrs. Evans didn't. She turned around and looked at Daniel. Her glare could have turned the bravest of men to stone, even through the veil.

Daniel jumped a bit and immediately fled the scene with Hazel in hand. He was completely sure that she was the same woman he had heard the rumours of barely one year ago.

* * *

_My dearest Daniel,_

_You are right about the museums. You should come here, you would love them. I went to a public exhibition surrounding the Vikings yesterday. Father told me I had to learn about my legacy. It was really interesting._

_Sometimes this place is nice. I live close to Jem and Regina, so I usually go to visit them after school. Mother said it is fine as long as I am chaperoned by the governess. Yesterday we spent the whole evening reading the Juvenilia. It was very amusing. We made sketches out of the tales. Even their stepsister Natasha joined us!_

_But that does not mean that it has gotten easier. I try not to make myself noticed in class, but I still hear them talking. And the professors always ask me why I do not go out and play with the others. I usually sneak up to the hallways where the older classes reside. Miss Mary sometimes fancies playing with me, but only once in a while._

_I do not think I am fit for this life. I cannot blend in. I know my parents are disappointed. I am probably the biggest disappointment of their lives. I might as well have never been born._

_I apologise for being so depressing, I know that you must find it very tiring. I just wish I could be as strong as you, Daniel. I hope you are doing well. Send Hazel my best regards._

_Yours sincerely,_

_Serena da Silva_

 

One single sentence from Serena's letter kept echoing in Daniel's head.

_I might as well have never been born._

Her voice resounding, clearly, clear as crystal.

_**Never been born.** _

That was not how she was supposed to feel. No one was supposed to feel like that, and definitely not Serena. He sat on his bed, trying his hardest to resist biting his nails. _Never ... born..._

Hazel was asleep again. She slept during the most of the day. Ever since Doctor Tate's special treatment, she had been very fatigued. But she hadn't had a seizure since then, so it must have been working.

Daniel didn't know how to respond to Serena. He couldn't comfort her. He felt useless. If he was in London, he could be there for her like he was for Hazel – but he wasn't. He gritted his teeth, feeling the inner demons churning. _Someday, I'll be able to protect you too, Serena._

* * *

Crash. Finally the sculpture shattered.

“ _ **God dammit!** ”_ Daniel held his breath and kept still behind the worktable. John aggressively put the hammer and chisel on the desk and hit his fist against it. “Bloody hell!”

It had only been a matter of time. With the way John had cut hard into the stone, it never could've managed to withstand the violent strokes. Now the surface of the horse's left flank was broken.

The young boy remained hidden, just listening. He heard John cursing at himself and continue slamming his fist against the table a couple of times, but after a while the cursing turned to mumbling. “Not … good enough... Hopeless...”

Daniel peeked up from behind the worktable. John had his back turned against him, standing by the other desk across the room. Everything was eerily silent. He reached his hand up on the table to grab the smaller hammer, but he stopped in his tracks as he noticed something odd – John's shoulders were trembling. He frowned.

“Why... Why did you have to go …?” John whispered, “Evelyn…”

Daniel's heart sank all the way down to his stomach. He stared with wide eyes at his crying father. The man who had always said that real men did not weep. And somehow, it was one of the most awful things Daniel had ever witnessed.

He swallowed a lump in his throat, trying to suppress the nagging feeling of guilt. He took the hammer and silently made his way to the door again, giving his father some privacy.

John kept crying, eventually breaking completely down. He fell to his knees.

* * *

Hazel sat by the windowsill. The weather was lovely today, very unseasonable though it was obvious that autumn had settled in. The trees right outside Hazel's room had lost several of their leaves. Instead, they lay in a big pile of orange and yellow colours right underneath the window.

She sighed. _How fun it could be to jump into the pile._

Suddenly she caught sight of a nice elderly lady walking around with a big dog. “Mrs. Phillips!” she yelled and waved excitedly.

Mrs. Phillips lifted her eyebrows, but then smiled and waved back at Hazel. The bloodhound ran over to the window and jumped right into the pile in an attempt to reach Hazel and lick her cheek. She laughed. “Calm down, Rufus!”

“Hazel, my darling!” Mrs. Phillips said as she took a firm grip around Rufus' collar, “How do you do?”

Hazel pursed her lips, considering what she was going to tell the nice lady. “I'm fine,” she said, “What about you, Mrs. Phillips? Has Elizabeth foaled yet?”

Mrs. Phillips chuckled. “She did this summer. Now she has a beautiful little baby boy. Mr. Phillips wants to make a real premium stallion out of it, I tell you!”

Hazel gaped at her, “Oh, Daniel should have it! He needs a good horse!”

“When he might come of age and height,” Mrs. Phillips said, “If he truly is his father's son, he will without a doubt grow into a tall young man!”

“He's not very tall now,” Hazel giggled while rubbing Rufus behind his ear. The dog was ecstatic.

Mrs. Phillips chortled in response. “No, so far he looks more like his mother,” she said, “Anyhow... How are you feeling, Hazel? Is the illness bothering you?”

Hazel's smile disappeared and she averted her gaze. “It's not that bad,” she mumbled.

But she didn't fool Mrs. Phillips' keen eye. “What happened, Hazel?” she said.

Hazel sighed, “Well... I had a seizure in the summer... And I had a special treatment done because it was really severe. But I haven't experienced any seizures since then!” She nodded eagerly.

Mrs. Phillips gave Hazel a gentle and sympathetic smile. “Is that why you haven't been out? Are Daniel and your father keeping you at home?”

“Daniel is,” Hazel said with bitterness. She was getting annoyed with her older brother. He kept her locked in at all times without her being able to have any fun, while he just ran out and fooled around with rich girls. It wasn't fair!

“Now, don't sulk! He is just trying to take care of you, sweetheart,” Mrs. Phillips said and poked Hazel's nose.

Hazel giggled and sat up straight. “I won't, Mrs. Phillips! I'm just bored.”

Again Mrs. Phillips gave her that compassionate look. “I guess you won't be able to help me out with Elizabeth and the foal today, am I right?”

Hazel reluctantly shook her head, “I guess not...”

Rufus looked up at Mrs. Phillips. She seemed to be as sad about the circumstances as Hazel. “Oh well, then,” she said, “Take care of yourself, Hazel. And tell Daniel and your father I said hi!”

“Thanks, you too, Mrs. Phillips,” Hazel said and waved after the plump lady and her big dog. She sighed.

* * *

The weather wasn't as harsh this December as it had been the past couple of years, but it began to snow midway through the month, just before Hazel's birthday as per usual, and soon the whole of England was covered in a white blanket. Daniel had asked for a shorter shift at the mill so he could return home early and celebrate Hazel. It was a surprise, so she hadn't been expecting it. She was very happy to see him.

Daniel allowed Hazel out into the front yard just this one day. He made sure that she was wearing a lot of warm clothes so she wouldn't catch a cold, and afterwards they spent several hours building snow men and making snow angels. Hazel tried to pick a snowball fight with Daniel, but he said that she shouldn't run around too much.

John had stayed home the whole day and slept. It was no wonder. He had been up more nights than Daniel could count, working in the studio till he dropped with fatigue. After what Daniel had seen the last time he was there, he finally knew why his father spent so much time alone.

It had been almost five months since Hazel had had a seizure, the last one being on Daniel's birthday. He felt hopeful. Doctor Tate had really helped a lot.

“Danny, we need something for the snowman's nose,” Hazel said. She clapped her hands.

Daniel looked around, then picked up a small pebble and put it in the middle of the snowman's face. “There you go, Mr. Snow,” he said satisfied.

Hazel giggled. “Really, that was rather poor, Daniel.”

“Now, don't you give me any cheek,” he laughed and made a move to chase her, “or I'll come after you!”

“You can't! It's my birthday!” Hazel gasped.

“Do you think the big bad brother is going to care about that?” He gave her a playful smile.

Hazel screamed and began running. Daniel set after her. It did not take long before he caught her around the waist and they both fell down into the snow, laughing. “You're bad! You cheated!” Hazel said, though still grinning.

“I did not cheat,” Daniel chuckled, “My legs have just gotten longer.” They both continued laughing for a little while before calming down and just staring up at the sky. It was completely white.

“Happy birthday, Hazel.”

“Thank you, Danny.”

* * *

John had been awake for about half an hour. He looked out the window from his bedroom. His son and daughter were playing outside and having a good time, so it seemed. It was Hazel's birthday today. John never forgot, for this was also the day Evelyn had died seven years ago.

He observed the scene. He never understood how the siblings had become so attached to one another. Probably because they never had known Evelyn like he had. They couldn't see how miserable the world was without her.

John frowned. Something was happening.

Hazel sat up and leaned forward. Daniel also sat up and patted her back, looking at her confused. All of a sudden the white snow turned red. The young boy shot up to his feet in a haste.

It had been five months, but now it was happening again. John fisted his hands. Would it ever have an end?

* * *

“No, no, no, no...” Daniel mumbled as he lifted Hazel up from the ground and carried her towards the front door, “Hazel, stay with me!”

Hazel's vision was a blur. She only heard Daniel's muffled voice and a piercing timbre in her ears. Her whole body ached, especially her chest.

Daniel was about to kick open the door, but it opened from the other side.

“Hurry, let me take her,” John said and reached for Hazel. Daniel nodded obediently with wide eyes and let John carry her to the couch. While he took care of Hazel, Daniel ran to fetch the laudanum. He didn't understand what was going on with his father. He never cared about Hazel before. Why suddenly now?

Daniel shook his head and grabbed a spoon from the drawer in the kitchen. He couldn't be bothered to think about that right now. When Daniel came back into the living room and started filling the spoon with the medicine, John said, “Doctor Tate is not in town, right?”

The artisan's son shook his head. “No, he's only here when on schedule.”

Hazel's seizure wasn't too bad. She was not choking. It had started with a bit of vomiting, but now she was just coughing up blood and slime. Daniel tried to feed her the spoon, but Hazel resisted once again and threw it up. “Oh no, Hazel!” Daniel said panicked, and tried to fill the spoon again.

“Don't feed it to her,” John growled, “Here, use this cloth.” He handed Daniel a handkerchief.

Daniel shot it a confused glance. “But … how …?”

“Let me do it.” John took the laudanum and emptied some of it onto the cloth. Then he pressed it against Hazel's nose and mouth. Hazel frowned, but soon her eyes became drowsy and she relaxed. A couple more seconds and she was asleep.

Daniel stared. He hadn't thought about that method. He didn't know that laudanum could be used like that.

John removed his large hand from Hazel's face and observed her for a while with his usual gloomy expression. Then he stood up and moved to put on his boots and jacket. Daniel didn't know where he would go, but he had a feeling. “Thanks, Dad,” he managed to say before the slamming of the door.

There was silence in the house for a while. Then he added, “Tell Mother I said hi.”

 


	10. Becoming of Men

**1831**

The sound of metal and wood crashing against each other echoed through the woods. The path was covered in snow, making it hard for Daniel to push forward through the already thick vegetation that was hidden underneath. He had gathered a small collection of tools – without his father's knowledge, of course. John wouldn't appreciate his son lending his precious hammers and screwdrivers. So Daniel stole them instead.

He wandered in the northern direction of the Blean. It wouldn't be long till he reached the agreed-upon destination. Everything had been planned out perfectly; not a soul was allowed to know, so it had to be somewhere distant from the village.

Daniel finally saw the broad blond boy appear between the trees. He felt shivers run down his spine, which he wasn't sure if was due to the biting cold or the nervousness nagging at him, but he kept going. “Wilkinson,” Henry said with a wry smile, “Thought you'd never show up.”

“I've got the tools, Henry,” Daniel said and lifted the box he carried, “Now what?”

“Here, let me see.” He reached for the toolbox. Daniel reluctantly gave it to him, worried that Henry might draw the hammer from it and beat him to death. Fortunately that wasn't the case. At least Henry wasn't _that_ mad.

“Hmm...” Henry scrambled through the box for a while, then closed the lid and gave it back to Daniel, “That'll work.” He turned around and gestured with his arms in a wide circle. “What do you think?”

Daniel put down the toolbox and looked around, confusion building up within him. There was nothing but a small space between a couple of trees. “Think about what?”

“The place!” Henry said, as if it were obvious, “There are no bushes or branches in the way! Isn't it just perfect?”

“Yes, very,” Daniel nodded, hoping that if he just agreed to whatever crazy idea Henry had, he would get him off his back soon.

Henry grabbed Daniel's shoulder, a bit too firmly for Daniel's liking, and brought himself closer to the smaller boy, “Do you know what it's for?”

Daniel gulped and shook his head, while Henry continued to put his arm around his shoulders.

“We're going to build our own little clubhouse!” Henry said enthusiastically.

Daniel's eyes were as wide as teacups. “We are?”

“And by 'ours', I mean 'mine',” Henry continued while nodding satisfied, “And by 'we', of course I mean _you_.”

It took Daniel a while to realise what Henry was actually saying. Suddenly he felt very uncomfortable. Henry laughed as he wriggled out of his hold. “No! I cannot do that!”

Henry was very amused. “Why not? It's my birthday! It's only fair you make me a present!”

“Because I am simply not able to! I can't build a house, I can barely even build a piece of furniture!” Daniel exclaimed, rather upset that Henry would actually expect him to build something for him. He couldn't care less if it was the boy's birthday, he wasn't his slave!

“Well, Wilkinson,” Henry said and picked up the toolbox from the ground, “Then you better learn it – and learn it fast.” He gave it back to Daniel with a push so hard it made him take a step back. Daniel sent a glare to the back of Henry's head as the sadistic boy walked away, laughing so loudly it could be heard throughout the Blean.

 _14 years old, and still as malicious as ever_ , he thought bitterly.

* * *

Daniel really tried, but he accomplished nothing but a lot of bruises and injuries over the course of January. He had spent several hours up at night trying to sketch a blueprint for Henry – which Henry made him do over and over again because he never was quite satisfied with it – and had even built a very unstable model of it, but none of that seemed to help with the actual construction the slightest.

It didn't really get him anywhere, and Daniel knew. He wanted to just give up on the project and tell Henry that he couldn't do it, but he was too scared. What if Henry told Daniel's father about Serena? In fact he couldn't even trust Henry to keep quiet, even if he did build him a haunt. But he had to do something; he couldn't just sit back and let Henry blabber on about his secret friend to the whole of Canterbury.

So it had to come to this. Daniel had somehow known it right from the beginning, but he had tried his hardest to find another way, since he really didn't want to move out on such dangerous tides. But it couldn't be helped, and after a month's worth of attempts at building the clubhouse, Daniel had to admit it to himself.

He needed his father's expertise.

Daniel gathered himself and took a deep breath, just like he always did when about to talk to his father. It was like going into a lion's den; one could never be sure if they would get out alive. It was late in the evening. The snow outside became deeper and deeper. Everything had been peaceful, but the citizens of Canterbury suspected that it was merely the calm before the storm. A blizzard would probably show itself sooner or later.

Father had come home two hours ago. He had gone straight up to his room after eating the dinner, Daniel had made for him – that had gotten cold one hour earlier. Everything had been silent since then. Hazel was sleeping. Daniel moistened his lips and knocked on the door.

Nothing. There was no answer at first. He tried again.

“What?”

The low grumble was so sudden it made Daniel hiccup. He put a hand over his mouth and frowned, but then shook his head and put his hand on the door knob. He swallowed hard and turned it, cautiously peeking inside. His father was sitting by the desk with a bottle of scotch and some documents he was reading through, apparently. Daniel had no idea what they were about. John turned to look at the door. “What is it? Is she having another heart attack?” he mumbled annoyed.

Daniel fisted his hands. He really didn't like it when his father talked about Hazel like that. When he acted like he was bothered by her. He could be so careless at times. Taking a deep breath, he shook his head. “No, she's asleep... I-I wanted to ask you something.”

John stopped moving for a second, then put his documents back on the desk and turned completely towards Daniel. “What is it?”

The boy felt uncomfortable. He really just wanted to get it over with, but it was hard to say anything because he feared that he might push the wrong buttons. “I… I was wondering … if you could start tutoring me,” he mumbled, “in building. Furniture and the likes.”

There was a long pause. John looked at Daniel for a good while. He wasn't able to see what his father was thinking. His face was completely expressionless. He just kept staring. “Tutoring you?” John finally said and started rubbing his chin.

Daniel nodded frantically. He really wanted to escape this scene now. He felt nervous.

The broad man leaned back in his chair and took a sip of his scotch. He let out a heavy sigh and started tapping the armrest. He looked at his son with a calculative eye that made the boy feel even smaller still. At last he spoke, “Are you really up for it, son?”

Daniel tilted his head in confusion. He suddenly didn't feel as nervous any more, as if the lump in his throat had been a large plug that had finally been removed, letting all the tension seep out. Something had changed. Something in his father's eyes. He pondered it a bit, then realised that he should probably answer before his old man would grow too impatient. “Yes, Father.”

John nodded and looked away, seemingly lost in his own thoughts. He was silent for a small while, then he turned towards his desk again and reached for the documents. “We start tomorrow at four o'clock sharp. No excuses. Don't be late.”

Daniel's eyes widened. For a minute he didn't know how to respond. John looked at his son again. “Now, what are you waiting for? Get to bed, you need to be fresh for school and work tomorrow. Shoo!” He waved his son away with a single hand gesture.

The words finally set in. Daniel quickly shook his head, then nodded hastily. “Yes! Of course. Goodnight, Father!” He closed the door behind him and ran back down to his room. In the master bedroom, John found himself doing something he hadn't done in years; he tucked on the corner of his lips.

* * *

The clubhouse really was coming along nicely. Henry couldn't deny that.

He had never actually expected Daniel to fulfil his crazy demands. He didn't really need the house anyway, he just wanted to hold it against Daniel. He waited for him to give up on it and come pleading back to him, but right now that didn't seem likely of happening.

Henry walked around the small unfinished building. There was no roof yet. Only one of the walls were actually finished. The structure was a bit shabby, but it was definitely a lot better than what he could have managed to build himself.

Daniel stood and watched Henry examine the process, like he did once every month. Henry kept an eye on him. He seemed to be lost in his own world, not really caring much about Henry's examination.

While Daniel looked away, Henry pulled one of the nails loose. The younger boy didn't notice.

“It's decent,” Henry said, “Keep it up.”

Daniel nodded and followed Henry back out of the forest, completely unaware that Henry had just delayed his work.

* * *

Something about the way John ordered Daniel around seemed different. It was not as harsh, somehow. Still strict, very strict, but there was no biting. No nagging. Not as much as before, at least. John was a hard man to please and had always been, but for the first time in all of Daniel's life, the man actually seemed to recognize his efforts. Things were definitely changing. Daniel didn't know what to think of it. It all seemed too surreal.

But with the amount of shifts he had at the miller's, he would never be able to spend enough time with his father in the studio to actually learn something. He had to balance out his time. Of course money was important, but so was Henry's project. If Daniel didn't start it soon, he might tell on him. And that would put both Daniel and Serena in a pickle. He couldn't have that.

Besides, if Daniel started to craft furniture alongside his father, they might end up selling even more. That would mean a lot more money than Daniel could ever hope to make at the miller's. And that meant a lot more money for Hazel's treatment. They might even be able to transfer her to the London Infirmary!

So it wasn't a hard decision to make. Daniel felt a bit lighter as he walked the path by the Great Stour river leading to the mill. Everything seemed to be working out.

It didn't take him long till he reached his workplace. He had no shift today, so a couple of the other workers were surprised to see him. When they asked, Daniel told them that he was going to talk to the miller. Conveniently enough the miller's name was Miller. His family had owned this mill for at least a century. It was still running efficiently.

Mr. Miller was in his office looking over some documents. He was probably planning the production and when the next batch of flour and corn should be sent into town. He looked up as Daniel knocked on the door. “Ah, Daniel! What are you doing here? I don't have a shift for you today.”

“I actually came to talk about my shifts, sir,” Daniel said and gave a humble bow of his head, “I need to cut down on them.”

Miller lifted his bushy eyebrows. He was a plump man who didn't look to be someone that did hours of hard labour every day. The dirt and sweat gave it away, though. “I see,” he said and nodded, “That is actually very convenient. I was thinking about starting my son's training soon. With fewer shifts for you, there's more for him to do.”

Daniel smiled and bowed again. “I'm glad that my absence won't be a bother to you, sir,” he said.

Miller turned to his desk and scrambled the drawers for another document. It didn't take him long to find it. “So, how many hours shall I cut?”

“10 hours would be a big help, sir,” Daniel said, still standing straight in his spot.

The miller looked at Daniel with a thoughtful look, then smiled so that the whole of his thick moustache became skew on his face, and chuckled. “I'll cut 15 hours.”

Daniel opened his mouth in surprise. “15?”

“You're a good boy, Mr. Wilkinson,” Miller said and turned towards Daniel again, “Now bugger off. I have work to do. I'll see you again on Tuesday.”

The young boy stood for a bit to let the words sink in. Everyone around him seemed to be so nice all of a sudden. He was not quite used to it, but eventually he let himself enjoy the good things that were happening. He gave his boss a bright smile and said his gratitudes, then ran off home so that he could meet with his father.

Everything was finally working out. John had agreed to tutoring him. He was able to keep his friendship with Serena a secret. And even though Doctor Tate had said that Hazel was dying, she was doing a lot better now after the treatment. _You're not going to die, Hazel_ , Daniel thought as he walked home, _I'm not going to let you._

The weather did not seem as grey any more. The world did not seem as bad.

* * *

The months went by swiftly. There had been a blizzard, just like everyone had foreseen, but Daniel had with his father prepared the house for it. None of them suffered from the cold, not even Hazel who had become much more sensitive to it.

In March the snow had almost melted. Daniel had finally gotten started on his construction of the club – under the supervision of Henry, of course – and he was nearly finished with the foundation. With the ever growing bond between Daniel and John, it became easier to access the necessary tools and materials for building without any questioning or objections. So far everything had worked out smoothly. Daniel really couldn't complain. He liked things this way. It wasn't until he woke in the middle of the night midway through the month that he started to worry.

Actually, it wasn't so much worry as it was confusion and embarrassment. He didn't really know what had awoken him in the first place.

Daniel opened one eye and tried to focus. The lantern's light had grown dull. Hazel was sound asleep. He sat up in his bed, wondering for a second why he was awake. Then he remembered that he had felt something. He stiffened and reached a hand under his quilt. His stomach turned as he felt the moist.

The boy immediately jumped out of his bed, disgusted by himself. How could this happen? He wasn't a baby any more! He had not wetted his bed since he was three years old!

He quickly changed his underwear. As he was about to throw it into the laundry basket, he noticed something strange about the shorts. They were not as sodden as they should have been. He reluctantly felt the area. It felt … sticky.

Daniel frowned. He was pretty sure that that was not the feeling of the bodily fluid he had thought of at first. He threw the underwear into the laundry basket and went to change the linen. As he removed the fabric from the bed, he tried sniffing the moist area. It didn't smell the right way either. In fact, it didn't really smell at all. It was all very strange.

Daniel went to sleep again, feeling very confused. Little did he know that he was in the process of becoming a man.

* * *

Daniel and John left early in the morning. It was Sunday, so there was no school for Hazel's older brother. She sat at home, reading like she usually did. There was not much else for her to do, and Daniel had told her to practice whenever she could. She was really becoming quite good at it.

 _The shoe fitted perfectly, and Cinderella and her prince lived happily ever after_ , Hazel read. She closed the fairytale book with a sigh. She felt tired. For a minute she wondered if she should try to sleep, but then again, she almost did nothing but that. She knew that Doctor Tate had told her to rest, but it really couldn't be healthy to rest that much!

She moved to get out of bed and fetch another fairytale book, but she stopped in her tracks. Something was off. Hazel was all too familiar with this feeling.

The small girl reached for her inhaler; Daniel had filled it with hot water before he went to the studio with their father. She brought a hand to her chest, taking some deep breaths like her brother had told her to. It didn't help.

Something within her stung, and she grasped tightly onto her nightgown. It felt like something was twitching her heart, clutching it tightly, keeping it from beating. Hazel got tears in her eyes. Daniel wasn't home. The fear was crippling. Her breath caught in her throat. She couldn't breathe. This was when she started to cough, her throat sore and her lungs bleeding. She threw the inhaler on her bed and put a hand over her mouth. The hand was soon covered in red slime.

Hazel knew that she had to do something herself. She couldn't rely on Daniel now. She managed to get out of her bed and fell on her knees to the floor. She reached for the box of laudanum. At least this seizure didn't feel as painful as many others, she had had. She grabbed a bottle and reached for the cloth that hung on her bedpost. Daniel had told her that if there wasn't time to fetch a spoon, this method would be much more effective.

The liquid soaked the cloth, and she immediately brought it to her mouth and nose. She tried breathing in heavily through the coughing, but she found that it didn't work. She panicked and put even more laudanum on it, desperately trying to seize the pain. The stench of the medicine was very strong. She brought the cloth to her face again, and almost immediately she felt dizzy.

Hazel got up on her feet with more than a little difficulty and lay down on the bed again. The room was spinning. She didn't notice the sting in her chest any more. It only took a couple of seconds, then she was out.

* * *

Hours had passed since morning, but apparently there was to be no sun today. The sky was grey with clouds, so Daniel guessed there was no point in wishing to be anywhere else but the studio. He turned his attention from the birds flying outside the window to what his father was preparing. Wood lay scattered on the floor; Daniel were to turn them into a table with the help of John.

“So you see, son,” John said, “Woodcarving is not an easy task. It requires the finest and most delicate strokes of precision, else you are bound to fail. One slip and the whole furniture is ruined! Understand?”

Daniel nodded. Even if he hadn't been as aggressive or violent in a long while; when it came to John Wilkinson, the better choice would always be to nod, no matter what.

“Good,” the man continued, picking up some pieces of wood, “Now, I'd like you to grind these four pieces into shape; they're going to contribute as table legs. Afterwards, I will show you how to handle the carving.” There was no objection from Daniel's side. He just accepted the wood and went to grind them as he was told.

John seemed to think that being Daniel's mentor was the best idea his son had ever gotten. Though the man never got excited, there was a significant change in his behaviour. He taught Daniel how to carve, build and assemble different kinds of furniture and tools. Daniel shouldn't only be helping out in the studio any more, he now had as much responsibility for creating products as his father.

Daniel didn't mind. He hadn't initially thought that spending more time with his father would be the very ideal occupation for him, but it had turned out to be about so much more than acquiring the necessary experience to build Henry's clubhouse. He tried not to be too obvious about it, but he was optimistic. Especially when he carved his first table leg without fault, and he received an acknowledgeable nod from his father with a spark in his eyes, he'd never seen before – or maybe he just didn't notice. This was the reason why Daniel finally mustered the courage to talk to his father.

John measured the table legs to make sure they were of equal length. Daniel observed him; his expression was very concentrated. “Father?”

He responded with a hum. Daniel felt his palms become sweaty. “Some... Something strange happened to me last night,” he said with a meek voice.

John gave Daniel a suspicious look. “What?”

Daniel took a breath. He wished that his father would continue to be fixated on the table legs. “I… I woke up… And I thought… Perhaps…”

“Speak up, son, we didn't come here to chitchat,” John said. He placed his large hand on the work desk.

The young boy suddenly didn't feel so confident any more. He looked at his feet and mumbled, “Never mind.”

John didn't move. He kept gazing at his son for a short while. Daniel couldn't bring himself to look into those drab eyes. “What's the matter, Daniel? Is it your sister again?” John urged. His tone didn't seem friendly or worried, but not annoyed or impatient either.

Daniel shook his head. “No. No, it was just me.”

John raised an eyebrow. “Elaborate.”

The boy looked up at his father again. He hesitated shortly, then he confessed, “I-it seems that I wetted my bed last night.”

Daniel prepared himself for a slap that didn't come. His father merely stared at him in disbelief. Normally John would have carried out a punishment for such a juvenile act, even if it was just an accident – but John had not been drinking today. There was nothing reassuring about what he said next, though. “You _**what** **?** ”_

Daniel panicked. “But it was not really what happened! I mean, it didn't smell or feel that way!” John kept staring. Daniel could practically hear his brain working, processing what he had said. He swallowed and continued, “You know that I haven't had such problems since I was a toddler, Father! It couldn't have been that! I am genuinely confused!”

John stood up straight, suddenly seeming to be lost in his own thoughts. Then something completely insane happened. He started laughing.

Daniel stared at the man before him. Was it really the same person? The man, whom he had known to be a drunk violent hothead throughout the majority of his life. Could it really be that same man that stood in front of him, laughing as if there was no tomorrow?

Eventually John's laughter subsided and he patted his son's shoulder. Daniel still felt wildly uncomfortable, and a bit annoyed with how hilarious his father apparently thought he was. “Thanks, son,” John said and nodded, “I haven't heard anything as funny for a long time.”

Daniel crossed his arms. “Well, I'm glad that at least you find it amusing.”

John gestured to a chair while he himself sat down on the bench, “Sit. We need to talk.”

Daniel sat down and had a long talk with his father. He finally understood the changes that were to come, and he asked a few questions – just a few, for he didn't dare push his luck. He had never had such an intimate conversation with anyone, and John was the last one he'd ever thought he would talk to about this, although he knew his father had an extensive knowledge on the subject. In spite of the nagging feeling poking at him within, it really was the best day he had ever spent with him. Maybe he wasn't actually so bad a dad.

* * *

“ _Hazel? Are you awake?”_

Hazel opened one eye. Her head felt as heavy as lead. Her vision was blurred, but she managed to make out the person hovering over her. “Daniel?” she said with a groggy voice. She felt like she had slept for longer than Sleeping Beauty.

“I made dinner,” Daniel said and caressed her hair, “And... You won't believe what happened today.”

Hazel turned to gaze out the window. It was completely dark outside. Could it really be that she had slept the whole day? “What time is it?”

“I'm sorry we're so late,” Daniel said. She hadn't noticed that he whispered until now. “Dad has gone to bed. He was very tired. We just got home.”

Hazel sat up, but she felt very dizzy. Her body felt like it was still sleeping. “Is it already 10 o'clock?”

“It has passed midnight, Hazel,” Daniel said apologetically, “We didn't notice the time.”

She nodded slowly. She wanted to lie down and sleep again, but Daniel insisted that she ate something. Her brother seemed uplifted, though he didn't directly admit it. He blabbered on about how different John was acting all of a sudden. He told Hazel that he finally felt useful in their father's eyes. Finally he could do something right.

Hazel nodded with a small smile, unable to really eat anything. But she didn't want Daniel's food to go to waste, so she did her best to keep it down. Daniel was happier today than he had been in a long time, and she didn't want to ruin his good mood. So she didn't tell him about the seizure.

* * *

It seemed that Daniel and John weren't the only ones who were starting to get along.

Hazel was sleeping again, so Daniel thought it would be a good time to read Serena's letter. He never read it while his younger sister was awake, for he didn't like telling her that it was private and that she couldn't read along with him. He sat down on his bed and unfolded the piece of paper.

 

_My dear Daniel,_

_Even though my schooling is still very awful, I have hope now. A terrible event happened not too long ago, which made the professors and my parents realise that I am simply too mature to walk amongst children younger than me. You do remember I told you I started school one year late, right? Now my parents are going to make up for that! After the summer vacation, I am going to move up a class. I will be able to be around children my own age! I am so excited!_

_Furthermore, my mother is starting to give me a lot more attention. She was so excited this autumn, because I finally reached my womanhood, though I am not completely sure what that means. I do not consider myself a woman yet. Even though I was disturbed by the incident that caused my sudden transition, I am happy to see Mother this overjoyed. Maybe I am not a disappointment after all!_

_My governess is much more strict now. I cannot go anywhere without her breathing down my neck! It is not like I am going to run off or anything. She even goes with me when I am going to meet Miss Mary. It is such a headache. I fear I might not be able to get her off my back this summer, but I will find a way so do not worry, Daniel._

_I feel like a lot is changing. I have gotten my very first corset! I feel really pretty, though it is very restrictive. I cannot move as freely as I used to, so we won't be able to play any of our games. We do not really do that any more, anyway. We are too old for that now, don't you agree?_

_I am glad that you and your father have gotten a better relationship. I think it was about time. Perhaps he will finally pull himself together. I really do wish the best for you and Hazel. I hope to meet her one day when she feels better and is able to walk outside the house._

_I cannot wait to see you, Daniel. I miss you._

_See you soon,_

_Serena da Silva_

 

There was no need for a reply. Daniel folded the letter again and looked out the window. Things were seeming to get better – also for his best friend. He felt warm inside. Serena had reached womanhood now, just as he was becoming a man. The thought of that tingled deep in his stomach. It was the time of change. He really looked forward to the summer.

* * *

John never celebrated his birthday, nor others'. This was the reason why Daniel only cared to celebrate Hazel – and then meet up with Serena when it was his own special day – but he felt now that he couldn't just ignore his father's birthday any more. They had spent time together. They had talked. Even if John himself didn't care, Daniel did.

He had spent time using some of his mother's old tailoring tools. Hazel had heartily helped with deciding what they were to give him. They had helped each other with wrapping the gift, and now they just waited for their father to return home.

The whole day John didn't show up. Daniel felt kind of disappointed. He had put effort into making his father the perfect gift, yet he didn't even come home to receive it. One couldn't really blame him, though, as Daniel and Hazel usually didn't do anything for him, but it would have been the perfect surprise. Instead they were left waiting for him.

The sun had set a couple of hours ago. Hazel sat up in the couch, wrapped in her blanket. Daniel had dragged a chair to the coffee table, and now the siblings were in the midst of a game of Old Maid – and Daniel was losing.

“Don't be a sore loser, Danny!” Hazel reprimanded, though giggling all the while.

Daniel pursed his lips. “I'm not! But I saw that you changed the cards! I'm not making this up!”

That was when the front door opened. The siblings fell silent and looked up. John walked in doing something, his children had never witnessed him do before; humming. The man was singing a happy melody of a song that Daniel and Hazel didn't know. They both stared at him.

John went to kick off his boots and took his coat off. He actually hung it on the coat stand this time, instead of just throwing it onto the floor. What was even more weird, he didn't smell. The awful stench of liquor didn't follow him like it usually did. John obviously had not been in the studio drinking. “Are you all right, Father?” Daniel said with wide eyes.

John stopped and looked at his children. “Yes,” he said, “Actually, I feel quite excellent.” He gestured with his arms.

Daniel and Hazel sent each other a look of amazement. Hazel was the next one to say something. “Happy birthday, Dad.”

John looked at Hazel and nodded. “Thank you, Hazel.”

Hazel was so stunned, her mouth fell open. That was the first time John had ever addressed Hazel by her name. The first time he had actually recognized her presence. She looked at Daniel, unable to hide her joy. Also Daniel was pleasantly surprised. “Father,” he said and stood up, “Hazel and I have made a present for you.”

“Is that so?” John said and raised his eyebrows. His face remained expressionless, but it was a great improvement nonetheless. Daniel ran into his room to fetch the small parcel. It only took a minute before John was sitting in the couch with each of his children by his side and unravelling the gift.

John eyed the item. It was a lovely cravat made out of silk. Daniel had spent his own money on the fabric. He turned towards Daniel. “Did you make this?”

Daniel nodded nervously. He knew how much his father had loathed it whenever he had helped his mother out with her tailoring back when she was alive. He had always said that it was not a man's occupation. John examined the tie. Hazel sent Daniel a questioning look, and Daniel merely shrugged in response. After a while John finally spoke, “Good job.”

He stood up and ascended the stairs to his bedroom. Hazel looked at Daniel again. He was smiling proudly. Suddenly it didn't seem as such a bad thing that their father had returned home late. No matter what he had been doing the whole day, it had certainly changed his attitude a lot. John himself was becoming a new man.

 


	11. Changes

Serena looked different with a corset on. She definitely looked much more like a woman, despite her being only eleven years old. Her waist appeared much slimmer. “You have grown a bit, have you not?” she said and got closer to him to compare heights.

Daniel did actually notice that Serena seemed to be smaller than he remembered, but he hadn't noticed that he had grown before she mentioned it. Maybe everyone around him were growing as well, that's why he didn't notice.

This summer Serena didn't have time for meeting as much as usual. She blamed her governess Miss Farrell for following her around wherever she went, but Daniel had seen the arrangements and the many visitors around her parents' mansion. Things were apparently also changing for Serena's family, and she was much busy keeping up with it.

But Daniel was so busy himself due to working on Henry's clubhouse that he almost didn't notice Serena's absence. It was very strange. Things seemed to be disappearing or broken every time he came back to continue the building. It must have been the animals in the woods.

Besides, Daniel also had to take care of the studio. John went out a lot these days, and no one knew where to. At least he was in a better mood, so Daniel and Hazel didn't complain. In fact, John went out so much that he even had Daniel run the business alone. “You're becoming a man now,” he had said, “It's time you learn to keep the store by yourself.”

Daniel had just bitterly thought of it as an excuse for John to not take care of the shop himself. But as always he simply agreed with his father, for objections were never a good idea.

So a sunny day in early July, he found himself in the studio cleaning, dusting off some of the sculptures and organizing the blueprints and sketches his father had drawn. He was not allowed to build anything himself without his father's supervision.

It was rare for John to have a customer, for no one ever really went to the village when they wanted to buy anything. The business had been running much better back when they had the store in the Canterbury centre, not too long from the Buttermarket. But once in a while a local would show up and buy one of the many fine furnitures and sculptures Daniel and John had on display.

Daniel was admittedly bored. After having cleaned and organized everything, there actually wasn't anything to do. There was a long wait between customers. He always made sure to bring a couple of his books, so that he had something to pass the time with.

Sometime later on in the noon, a customer came by. There had been three potential customers already, but only one of them had bought a small jar, so Daniel didn't have high expectations when he heard the bell in the studio's shop ring.

He looked up from his book without much interest, only to almost fall out of his chair in shock. “Sere- Miss da Silva! I mean, can I help you, miss?”

Serena giggled, “You don't have to call me that, Daniel, neither my parents, sisters nor Miss Farrell are with me.”

Daniel stood up from his chair. “Why are you here? You're not supposed to come to the village!”

Serena shrugged and held up a small pouch in her hand with a smile. “Perhaps I came to buy something?”

The older boy stared at the money pouch, biting his lip. If Serena came as a customer, he could not deny her service. Sneaky gal. “Well,” he said, trying not to grin too widely, “If you came to buy something, then I shall not rush you out of the store.”

Serena looked around the shop. She then sent Daniel a mischievous smile. “You have so many wonderful things,” she said, slowly walking further into the store, “I might have a hard time deciding what I want, so I will probably have to stay a while to figure it out.” She picked up a small but pretty sculpture of a couple of cuddling turtle doves. “And I will need a good professional view to help me make a final decision.”

Daniel felt that the look she sent him was saying something much less innocent than her words. She didn't wear her hair up today. She usually didn't, but it was looking really nice and voluminous just now. It had gotten long. Sometimes it was very straight and elegant, other times it was big and wavy and cute. Daniel found he really liked the way Serena looked.

“Well…” he said with a playful smile, “I guess I'll just have to give you the best service that I can.”

She looked at him with a big smile. A moment later the two of them embraced each other tightly, holding on to one another as if letting go would mean that they would lose each other forever. It was first then that Daniel actually realised how much he had grown. Serena only reached to his nose now. She seemed to fit perfectly in his embrace.

* * *

Serena stuck around the whole day. She helped cleaning out, but she was forced to hide behind the desk every time a customer showed up. Of course she got very annoyed with Daniel, but even she could tell that one of the locals would be shocked to find a nice looking girl with an exquisite dress in a dusty old shop.

“So you say that you cannot get rid of your governess?” Daniel said while counting up the money in the cash register.

“Yes! It is so annoying!” Serena scoffed, resting her head on her palm, “I don't even know why she's still here! I mean, I am going to school anyway, so why keep her? She is not teaching me anything, she just keeps an eye on me and tells me that I am not allowed to do anything!”

Daniel wondered how Serena even managed to get rid of her governess at all. The girl must've had a lot of dirty tricks up her sleeve. “That is strange. Why don't you talk to your parents about it?”

Serena sighed. “Because I _do_ know why they keep her,” she said, “It is because they want someone to keep an eye on me. It is as if they don't trust me, yet they always tell me that I am so mature for my age.” She rolled her eyes, adding, “And then also because she and my mother like to chat and gossip!”

She fell silent. Daniel thought of what she said while he finished up and put the money back in the drawer. Then he looked at Serena, “Is your family going through a lot of changes?”

She frowned, looking down at her fingers stroking the surface of the desk she sat by. “I guess…” she mumbled, “I don't know… I think so. My mother is observing me a lot these days. And Regina has come of age, so she also gets a lot of attention; even more so than me.”

Serena looked up at Daniel with wide eyes, as if she just remembered something. “That reminds me – I will not be staying in Canterbury for as long as usual this year!”

Daniel felt upset. “Why not?” he said with disappointment.

She got a bitter expression on her face. “Because there apparently is to be some social event back in London that Regina and Jem have to attend! But I cannot even join them, for even though I have reached 'womanhood', I am still not _old enough!”_

“Calm down, princess,” Daniel said and patted her shoulder, “Soon it'll be your turn, too!”

Serena sighed. “Yes, someday,” she said dreamily, “Someday I will be able to dance with a tall and beautiful man, whom I will marry afterwards.”

Daniel shook his head with a smile. Serena was such a girl sometimes. It was quite amusing. Daniel himself had not even considered if he wanted to get married yet, but marriage to a perfect husband was Serena's dream. “So when are you going home?”

She looked at him apologetically. “The day after your birthday,” she said, “So that is when we will have to say goodbye.”

He took her hand. “Not goodbye,” he said, “Until next summer.”

* * *

It really was too bad that neither Daniel nor Serena had much time to see each other. They only managed to meet up a few times through the summer, and July passed by too quickly. Before Daniel even had a chance to look around, it was his birthday. He woke up feeling both sad and excited. He didn't know if he was ready to say goodbye just yet, but at least they were spending the day together doing the best thing, Daniel could think of – and it had even been Serena's idea.

Daniel and Serena walked across the fields, heading for the outskirts of Canterbury. Serena had brought an even larger basket than usual, with not only cake but also sandwiches and beverages; they were going to have a picnic. She also carried a beautiful bouquet of flowers from her mother's garden that she herself had plucked.

Serena struggled with walking through the tall grass. “It is impossible to move a leg without tripping here!” she groaned.

“You complain too much, princess,” Daniel laughed.

“Why do you suddenly insist on calling me that?” She nudged his shoulder. The blush on her face suggested that she was very fond of the nickname, though.

He merely said, “Because you are one.”

Serena didn't object to that statement. She turned to look at her feet again to make sure she didn't trip over herself. “I hope we will be there soon.”

Daniel pointed with a smile, “We are.”

The hill was not too high nor steep, but it seemed to tower over them as they got closer. Daniel assisted Serena in ascending it, and soon they reached the top with the big, beautiful ash tree. A lone headstone resided underneath it.

The two adolescents fell silent to pay their respects. The wind was a bit colder up here, but the sun was shining so brightly that they didn't notice. After a while of silence, Serena bowed down in front of the stone and placed the flowers.

Daniel looked at her. The wind tangled in her hair, playfully toying with it. He knew that he had been right to bring her here. His mother was approving.

He walked forward and put an arm around Serena. She turned towards him and they embraced each other. Not because they had to say goodbye or were going to miss each other, just because they wanted to.

* * *

All of Serena's food had been very delicious. Daniel was going to miss it. He doubted that Serena made any of it herself, but it was still a lot better than his own cooking.

The sun hung low now. He knew it meant that Serena would have to go soon. But he didn't want her to, so he didn't mention it even though it was the only thing he could think of.

“I hope that my new class will be much better,” she said. Her eyes studied the beautiful tombstone. It held such great detail that only a master could produce. Daniel's father had stayed up all night, carving it himself the same day that Evelyn died before he went to bury her. It was safe to say that both blood, sweat and tears had gone into it.

“I hope so, too,” Daniel said, “If they don't treat you well, I'll make them regret it.”

Serena turned to look at Daniel, laughing. “And how do you suppose you are going to do that? You are not exactly the most intimidating character I know.”

Daniel pouted unintentionally. Hearing Serena say that she didn't have faith in his strength hurt his pride a great deal. “I am strong!” he said in his defence.

She merely dismissed him, “Of course you are, Daniel.”

He felt his heart drop. How was he going to prove to her that he was a man? He hadn't expected her to be doubtful of his abilities – but suddenly he thought of something. “It's true,” he said, “I beat up one of my classmates more than a year ago. The bully of the class.”

Serena's eyes widened and she looked at Daniel again. He was much more content with that expression on her face. “Really? Why?”

“He was harassing Hazel,” Daniel said nonchalantly, refraining from telling her that Henry was in fact also harassing him.

“That's horrible!”

“Yes, very,” Daniel nodded, feeling slightly better.

Serena nodded with an impressed look on her face. “I guess you really are strong.”

“Of course I am!” he said, sending her an annoyed glare.

Serena didn't respond to it, but merely leaned her head on Daniel's shoulder. “I have to go soon.”

Those were the inevitable words that Daniel had wanted to avoid. He swallowed, “Yes.”

“Promise me that you will think of me every day.”

Daniel looked at her at that comment. He already was, but he was not about to tell her that. “I will.”

For a short while they sat quietly, but then Serena stood up and dusted the dirt of her skirt. “Now, help me clean up!” Daniel reluctantly complied.

The two of them spent a good amount of time putting everything back in the basket – much more time than they actually needed. But they would see each other again, and with that reassurance Daniel managed to let go of Serena.

* * *

The school started again. To most boys it was a drag, but not Henry. In school, he was the one in charge. Everyone feared him. He hated the vacations, hated staying at home. He glared at the back of Daniel's head. His hair looked nice, not dirty like Henry's. Nothing about Daniel was dirty or filthy. The boy washed himself so often it could barely be healthy.

“For the crimes of adultery, incest and treason, Anne Boleyn was locked up in the royal quarters of the Tower, where she was to await her execution,” Mr. Harrison said, “A convict never really stood a chance during trials. Even if she were innocent, the judges would most certainly have had her sentenced anyway.”

Daniel reached his hand in the air. Henry narrowed his eyes.

Mr. Harrison lit up, just like he always did when his favourite student had something to add. “Yes, Mr. Wilkinson?”

“Since there was little evidence of Anne Boleyn having committed such crimes, it could be argued that the real reason for her execution was her inability to give birth to a son,” Daniel said, “King Henry VIII's patience ran up after several miscarriages, and he needed a male heir for the throne. Besides, it seemed that the king had already lost interest with Anne and started seeing Jane Seymour, so most likely the accusations were just an excuse for King Henry to be rid of her.”

Mr. Harrison nodded with an impressed and satisfied look on his face. “Very good, Wilkinson,” he said, “You have a keen eye.”

Daniel always excelled in history. It was as if he just couldn't keep his disgustingly clean hands from shooting up into the air whenever Mr. Harrison asked a question, and even when he didn't.

Henry hated it. He hated how Daniel shined and he didn't. Why was Daniel so good at everything? Why did he impress everyone? Why was he so clean, why was his hair so nice? Why was he so kind? He didn't have to be. No one was kind to him.

Henry fisted his hands. Daniel shouldn't have it that easy. He wouldn't allow it. It was not fair.

* * *

The haunt was looking splendid. Daniel was almost completely done. Soon he would be out of Henry's so-called debt.

If he got to finish it, that was.

The whole pack was making a lot of noise. The boys were not the sharpest tools in the shed. They did anything Henry told them to, following him because he was the strongest. They were as submissive as animals. They didn't see the whole picture, only what was right in front of them. They had brought hammers, bats and axes. Henry didn't care where they had gotten the dangerous tools, all that was important was that they had done as he said.

They all thought that it was a great idea. None of them had bothered to ask why Daniel was building this in the first place, so Henry hadn't had to reveal the boy's secret yet. Not that he would keep quiet if anyone were to ask, anyway.

That was another thing fuelling Henry's hatred. The girl. What was she doing with Daniel? Why was she not Henry's secret friend? She was way too good for Daniel.

The anger made Henry roar as he smashed the cudgel into the small house. The other boys merely laughed and cheered as they continued to demolish Daniel's hard work.

Henry breathed heavily. The clubhouse was completely destroyed. Justice had been served.

* * *

The book slammed down into the table right in front of Daniel. “Here, use this.”

Daniel looked up at his father with a frown. “But why? What do you need it for?”

John didn't look at Daniel. “Don't ask so many questions, just do as you're told.” The boy didn't have the chance to question further. His father turned around and walked out the front door. It slammed shut with a bang. As usual, Daniel had no idea where the man was going.

He looked down at the book again. His fingers lingered over the surface for a bit, caressing the dusty front cover. This book had not been used for more than ten years. He had not expected his father to still have it.

Daniel opened the book and flicked through the pages. There were patterns for everything, from small handkerchiefs and gloves to big formal dresses. This was Evelyn's old tailoring book. She had always trusted it to contain any information she needed to sew whatever her customers asked her to.

John had asked Daniel to make him a suit. A really nice one, the kind of suit that gentlemen wear. It would take a lot of work. Daniel had no idea what he wanted to use it for. He wasn't even that good at tailoring, he didn't manage to learn much before Evelyn died.

But Daniel trusted his father. Whatever he needed it for, it must have been important – so he would do as he wished.

* * *

Daniel filled the inhaler with the steaming hot water. The house was quiet. John wasn't home.

Hazel looked at the ceramic inhaler. She was tired of it. It was impractical and took such a long time to prepare. It didn't help her illness one bit. Everything was changing. She didn't like it. It was as if something bad was waiting right around the corner. Daniel couldn't see it, he was too caught up in Serena and bonding with Father.

That was the thing. Daniel was so caught up in everything around him. Hazel felt more forgotten than ever. She was not in that world that Daniel was so excited about. She was not part of the outside world.

“Here, Hazel,” Daniel said and moved to place the mouthpiece for Hazel.

She stared at the inhaler as it neared her mouth, but she kept it shut. Daniel frowned. “What's wrong, Hazel? You need to breathe in the steam!”

“Why?” she exclaimed, losing her patience, “To cure my illness? It's not helping!”

Daniel looked shocked. He lowered the inhaler.

Hazel's eyes welled with tears. “I'm not stupid, Danny,” she said, “I know I am going to die.”

“Now, that's not true,” Daniel said, but he didn't look her in the eyes. She saw how he fisted his hands as she spoke those words.

“Then, why won't you look at me?” she whispered, her shoulders shaking.

Daniel immediately looked up at Hazel, but that only confirmed her suspicions even more. She felt an unbearable agony by the realisation that what she feared most was actually true. She was no longer able to keep from crying. “Daniel...”

He put the inhaler down on the bed stand, grabbing her shoulders. “Hazel, look at me!” he said determined. She did, but her eyes were so glazed her vision became blurred. “You are not going to die! I won't allow that!”

“But that is not for you to decide!” Hazel said, her voice high, “God decides who lives! And I am not strong enough!”

“Hazel, listen,” he said, placing both his hands on each side of her face and resting his forehead on hers, “The Lord decides, but He is also merciful. I have been praying every night since you were born, and He has not taken you away from me. He has given you His strength, and you need to utilise it. Fight for me, Hazel.”

Hazel didn't answer. She just kept crying, letting all of her inner fears and complexes and heartache out. She grasped onto Daniel's shirt, and he put his arms around her with the sort of supportive reassurance that only an older brother could give. “Hush,” he said and rocked her, “I will not let you die, Hazel. I promise.”

* * *

His whole body became numb when he saw it. He dropped the pieces of wood he was carrying. A ball of ice formed in his stomach. How could this have happened? After all of his hard work...

The house was ruined. He had almost been done. This could not have been the work of the forest animals. Someone had sabotaged him.

Daniel had fallen to his knees in hopelessness when he returned to continue his work on the clubhouse. He quickly gave up on trying to rebuild it. It was too damaged. He needed to start completely over, and it just wasn't worth it. He hoped that Henry might forget about it, since it had almost been a year since he asked him to do it. Perhaps he didn't need it now, anyway. Maybe he wouldn't care any more.

But Daniel was not that fortunate.

“Hey, Wilkinson!”

Daniel turned around in the school yard. Henry approached him quickly. For a minute he wondered if he could make a run for it, but before he could even consider his chances of succeeding, Henry grabbed his arm. “How is my haunt coming along?” he said with that idiotic smile of his. His breath stank.

Daniel felt his heart sink down to his stomach. “I-I really don't know what happened, Henry, but it's completely wrecked! I swear, I was almost done, I'm so sorry...”

Henry merely laughed. That was when he realisation hit him like a splash of cold water. Daniel's eyes widened in disbelief. “It was you...” he whispered.

“I guess you will just have to start over, right, Danny-boy?” Henry said, patting Daniel's shoulder, “Lest I should accidentally tell someone about your little secret?”

Daniel didn't answer. He merely stared at Henry, hands fisted, blood boiling.

* * *

Daniel found he really enjoyed needlework. It reminded him of when his mother was alive, how she had taught him how to handle the sewing and told him fairy tales.

Of course, Daniel's highest priority following work, school and the studio lay in getting Henry's clubhouse done. Hazel hadn't had a serious seizure for a very long time, so he trusted that she could take care of herself while he was busy.

After having removed all of the ruined parts of the house – which was basically all that he had built so far – he started reconstructing the foundation. It didn't take him as long this time; he had definitely gotten more handy with the craft. Midway through November he had finished it. Now he just had to start over with building up the walls and roof; the part that took the longest time. It certainly didn't help that he had so many other chores on his hands.

Honestly, Daniel was quite exhausted. With school, work, the studio, caring for Hazel, the clubhouse and the suit for his father, there wasn't much time to rest. It seemed like he always had something to attend to. He just wanted a break. At least the suit was done now.

November rain was pouring outside. The weather in England was so erratic. Just a week ago the sun had been shining, but it changed in the blink of an eye and it had been raining cats and dogs ever since. He eyed the pieces of fabric that was now turned into a shirt, blazer and a pair of trousers. He had never thought he would actually manage to finish it so soon. Maybe it was in his genes.

Daniel had gotten money from John to buy the fabric. It was really expensive, but John wanted it to be the finest. He didn't know why his father suddenly was fine with using a lot of money, but he was not one to interfere with his business.

He had been in such awe when he had measured him. John was a true man. He was over six feet in height, he had very broad shoulders and broad chest as well, and both his arms and legs were big and muscular. Compared to John's large biceps, Daniel's arms were nothing but sticks. He wanted to be as masculine as his father. He wanted muscular arms and legs. Why was he so skinny?

Daniel pursed his lips by the thought as he adjusted the shirt's collar a bit. “Father!” he yelled. He didn't have the energy to go up the stairs to fetch him.

“ _ **Just a minute!** ”_

John's voice roared like a lion. Daniel fell silent. He definitely would never be able to shout like that, even if he wanted to. And that was actually something, he was completely fine with.

It didn't take a single minute before John came down, rather ten. He looked very different. He had trimmed both his hair and beard, and he had definitely been washing himself up. Daniel looked at his father with wide eyes. “Eh... Your suit is done.”

“Perfect,” John said and took the clothes. He immediately went upstairs again.

About 20 minutes later, the rain finally stopped. It was about time. It had been like this for a week.

Daniel utilised the short moment he had alone to rest. He sat on a chair by the window and looked out. He could see his neighbour Mr. Philips' farm animals. A brown Thoroughbred yearling was running around in the pen, enjoying the damp air.

John came down the stairs again. Daniel looked up at him, only to find himself gaping. His father looked like a real gentleman. He was wearing the cravat Daniel had made him for his birthday along with the rest of the suit and a pair of nice new shoes. He had never seen his father this dressed up. John stood still in front of Daniel. “So, what do you think?”

Daniel stared for a little while before nodding eagerly, “You look exquisite! Very handsome!”

His father gave him a nod. He then moved over to the coat stand. “Father, where are you going in this weather?” Daniel said confused, “It could start raining again any minute!”

“You don't need to worry about the suit,” John said and fished up an item from behind the coats, “I'm bringing an umbrella.”

Daniel tilted his head and frowned. He still wanted to know where the man was going in that outfit.

John put on his coat and walked over to the front door, but before leaving he stopped with his hand on the door handle. He turned to look at Daniel and gave him an acknowledgeable nod. “Thanks, son.”

Then he went out the door. Daniel sat back, feeling like his father had finally given him something he had always missed.

* * *

Hazel was growing up so fast. To Daniel, it seemed like only a couple of years ago he had taught her how to walk. All of a sudden he found himself celebrating her eighth birthday.

As usual, John was nowhere to be seen. Even though Daniel wanted him to be more attentive of Hazel, he was kind of glad that their father didn't change too drastically. He would start to worry if that was the case. Daniel went out early that day to buy some groceries. He was going to make Hazel a birthday cake this year, for she deserved one. He knew how hard the illness was on her, especially in these times.

He had been completely sure that John would be out visiting Evelyn's grave. John always went to see her tombstone on Hazel's birthday. It wasn't anything Daniel had seen with his own eyes or been told, he just knew. The look, John had in his eyes whenever he came home on this particular day, said enough.

On his way home from the town centre, he decided to pay his mother a visit, too. He had the feeling that John wouldn't mind. Maybe it would be another chance for him and his father to bond. But when Daniel arrived by the hill, John was nowhere in sight. There were no fresh footprints in the snow. John had not been there.

It confused Daniel greatly. If John had not gone to visit Evelyn's grave, then where was he? He wasn't in the studio, either. Daniel felt a bit disappointed that his father hadn't even been there visiting Evelyn earlier. He appreciated that John honoured his mother's memory, though he neglected Hazel in the process.

After having stayed by his mother's grave for a bit and talked to her, Daniel returned home. He couldn't stay for too long, for Hazel was waiting for him. They spent the day together reading fairy tales and eating cake, and Daniel even let Hazel in on some of the things he and Serena had done together.

It was a perfectly ordinary and nice day spent with Hazel. But one thing still remained a mystery; where did John go?

* * *

Christmas was usually very quiet. John always disappeared to the studio, Evelyn's grave or into his own room on this particular day, so Daniel usually spent the evening cooking a humble dinner, singing Christmas hymns and praying with Hazel. It was all about getting the most out of what they had, even if they couldn't afford giving each other presents. But this Christmas would turn out to be very different.

Daniel was washing Hazel in the small iron tub as John came down wearing nothing on his torso and with a towel hurled over his shoulder. Apparently he was also on his way to take a shower. “You two should put on something nice,” he said, “We're invited to dinner tonight.”

Daniel stared at him in disbelief. John was about to leave when he stood up and said, “We can't. Hazel cannot go out, she's too ill.”

John looked at Daniel. For a moment, nothing but Hazel's movements in the water could be heard. Then the man walked over to his son and slapped him so hard it brought tears to his eyes. It took him by surprise. “Don't you dare question me,” John said with an eerily low voice, “Just do as I say, understood?”

Daniel felt shocked. His cheek was burning. He knew he had been stupid to think that his father had changed. He might not drink any more, but he still had a bad temper. He bit his lip and nodded, stubbornly trying to keep the tears from falling.

John gazed at Daniel for a short while, then went out the front door to go the shower cabin.

Hazel held her breath until her father was out the door. Daniel stood completely still, his shoulders shaking. “Danny…” she peeped. He immediately turned around and sat down on his knees by the bathtub again. He continued scrubbing Hazel with the brush, his teeth clenched.

* * *

Neither Daniel nor Hazel had any actual formal or nice looking clothes, but at least John understood that it wasn't their fault. He made Daniel straighten his shirt and lend him one of his ties, though. Daniel packed a bag filled with laudanum and Hazel's inhaler. He didn't want to risk anything. Hazel was wrapped in several layers of clothing before she was allowed to step out into the snow covered landscape.

John didn't utter a word as to where they were going on the whole walk. The sun had set a long time ago and it was almost dinnertime. At first Daniel thought that they might were heading for the town centre, but he soon found out that he was wrong when John turned down a smaller road leading to a whole other place. A place Daniel recognised.

He held his breath. This road lead to Serena's family's mansion. His heart started beating faster. Had Henry told John? Were they going to confront her family? He tried to calm himself with the fact that Serena was supposed to be in London right now, but he couldn't help but feel that he was on his way to his own execution.

Hazel noticed her brother's anxiety. She squeezed his hand. Daniel looked down at her with a confused look. “Don't be scared, Danny,” she said, “I won't let the dark harm you.”

Then he understood. The sky was dark.

Daniel didn't feel the traumas of his past nag at him. He wasn't afraid of the night. That didn't mean that he liked it, though – but the night was not complete, closed-up darkness. The night had the moon and the stars and safe warm homes with light in their windows. He wasn't trapped. That was why he managed to walk home when he finished work late and why he could stay and watch the sunset with Serena, even if he felt uncomfortable.

Daniel smiled at Hazel. “I know,” he said.

John luckily didn't continue down the road that led to Serena's mansion. Daniel felt like he finally could breathe again. Instead they went the opposite direction of her house, to an area with a lot of other sizeable houses. This was obviously a neighbourhood for somewhat wealthy people. But John kept walking past it, still moving closer to the town gates. Maybe they were going to the Canterbury centre after all.

Daniel was wrong once again. A large mansion – though not as huge as Serena's family's – appeared before the town gates even came into sight. A fence surrounded it and in the middle of the carriage driveway was a humble fountain. A private stable belonged to the house. Who lived here?

The iron gate was open. The house was lit up everywhere. Daniel wondered if there was to be a big Christmas party, and why they were even invited. Something was really off about all of this. John knocked on the door. It didn't take long before an older gentleman opened. He bowed and said, “Ah, the fine John Wilkinson and his children, I presume. If you would please follow me to the dining room, sir.”

Daniel and Hazel looked at each other with wide eyes. It really was no mistake. They were guests here.

The butler that opened the door for them took their coats and lead the way through the fine hall. Daniel felt very out of place as he looked around. Expensive paintings adorned the walls. The furniture looked fancy and posh. Was this some kind of trap?

The house was not too big, though. It didn't take forever before they reached the dining hall. Also this room was a place that Daniel and Hazel didn't feel like they belonged in. Hazel fidgeted with her white dress that usually was a nightgown. “Danny, I don't feel like I am dressed up enough for this,” she whispered with a blush on her face.

Daniel loosened his tie a bit. “You're not the only one.”

“If you would please take a seat, the mistress will be with you shortly,” the polite butler said and left the room again.

The table was laid nicely with porcelain plates and crystal glasses and so many pieces of cutlery that Daniel didn't know which to use. It was only laid for four people though, so he guessed there would be no Christmas party. John sat down in one of the chairs and gestured to the others, “Come, sit down.”

Hazel looked up at Daniel and he just nodded. They both sat down beside their father. “Now, I expect you two to behave your very best,” John said, “No sloppiness, no interrupting, only speak when spoken to, and for God's sake, swallow your food before you open your mouth. Make me feel proud, not ashamed.”

Daniel and Hazel nodded. They didn't think that they could manage to make him proud, but at least they could do their best not to be a complete disappointment to him.

The room was silent. Tension hung in the air as they waited for the mistress, whoever she was. It felt really uncomfortable. Daniel noticed how Hazel was shaking. She was nervous; he could almost hear her delicate heart drum frantically against her chest like a scared little bird.

Suddenly noise could be heard from down the hall. John, Daniel and Hazel all looked up as the doors opened. Several servants walked in carrying trays filled with delicious food. Turkey, sweet potatoes, red cabbage. A real Christmas dinner.

Daniel and Hazel almost drooled by the sight of all the delicacies. They had never been served such a marvellous dinner before. Hazel wanted to start filling her plate, but Daniel took her hand before she could reach any of the dishes. She looked up at him with big eyes. He silently shook his head. She drew her hand back and placed it in her lap again.

After the servants had finished placing all the dishes on the table, they disappeared out into the hallway again. Another few minutes past, and finally the mistress showed up.

Daniel's eyes widened. _No way._ Even though a veil had covered her face the last time he had seen her, he recognised her instantly.

She was tall and this time wearing a long, very expensive violet dress that was buttoned all the way from the collar to the waist. Her hair was a light brown colour with a few greying strands, and it was tied firmly back into a complex bun. All the features on her face were sharp and thin; a pointed, long nose, thin lips and cold, piercing blue eyes enhanced by the lilac earrings she was wearing.

“Welcome,” Mrs. Evans said, “I am honoured to have you join me for dinner this Christmas evening.”

Hazel was in awe. Her dress was so pretty. Once again she felt ashamed to be wearing a simple nightgown. John stood up from his seat. “I am glad you will have us, Henrietta.”

 _Henrietta?_ Daniel thought. So his father and Mrs. Evans were even on first name terms? Suddenly he knew where his father had been disappearing off to for so long.

“This is my son and daughter,” John continued, gesturing to his children. He nudged Daniel's shoulder and he immediately stood up, Hazel following her brother's example. “Daniel and Hazel, say hello to Mrs. Evans.”

Hazel fidgeted with her braid and bowed her head. “Hello, Mrs. Evans. It's really nice to meet you.”

Henrietta eyed Hazel with a calculative look. Daniel didn't like her eyes. He didn't like how she looked at Hazel as if she was gauging her. He had not forgotten what he had heard about the woman. He was completely sure that she was as fake as the jewellery she had put on. Eventually her narrow lips extended into a devious smile. “What a wonderful little creature you are,” she said, “It is nice to meet you, too.”

She turned to look at Daniel. He didn't say anything. He just stared back at her, letting her know that he wasn't falling for her charades.

John grew impatient. This was not about to happen. He wouldn't allow it. Of all the times Daniel could have chosen to be disobedient, this should not be it. “Daniel!” he said, a warning hidden in the deep notes of his voice.

Daniel's eye twitched and he gave in. He didn't want to pretend that he was fine with it, though. He spoke with a dull voice, “It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Evans.”

Henrietta narrowed her eyes. Then she moved to a vacant chair, “Let's eat, shall we?”

They all sat down by the table. Daniel glared at Henrietta. He had been forced to greet her, but she didn't even have to acknowledge him. His father was nothing but a big, fat hypocrite.

* * *

The Christmas evening was very strained. John and Hazel did their best to force a good mood, but Daniel didn't want to play along. He didn't like the woman.

Daniel had never experienced his father laugh so loudly and talk so much. But it didn't feel real. It was too forced. John clearly wanted to impress Henrietta. He wanted something from her. _Probably her money so that he can buy all the alcohol he wants_ , Daniel thought. He couldn't help the bitterness. He felt so betrayed.

Henrietta even went so far as to give Daniel and Hazel gifts. They were allowed to open it immediately since they wouldn't stay over for the night. Hazel got the pretty dress she had wanted for such a long time. Daniel got a very neat burgundy scarf.

“Thank you, Mrs. Evans,” Daniel said and put the scarf back into the gift box, “but I already have a scarf.”

John gave him a whipping as punishment for that comment when they got home. It was worth it.

Now Christmas was over and it wouldn't be long till New Year's Eve. Daniel sat down with a piece of paper and wrote a new letter.

 

_Dear Serena,_

_Now I know why my father changed. He tried to bribe us. He pathetically attempted to patch things up with us so that we would comply to his terrible idea. But he will never change._

_He brought us to a lady's house this Christmas Eve. It was horrible. Her name is Henrietta Evans, and I've heard rumours about her in town, grim rumours – that she was in charge of killing her own husband! How does my father expect me to welcome her into our family knowing that?_

_I have a very bad feeling about this. I worry for the coming year. I will not let that ghastly lady near Hazel. I hope you are doing better than me, Serena._

_Yours affectionately,_

_Daniel J. Wilkinson_

 


	12. Getting By

**1832**

Henrietta and John certainly weren't taking it slow. The wedding date was already set in March.

Daniel wasn't happy about it, and he made no attempt to hide his displeasure. Why did it have to be her? Why did John choose a woman with eyes about as emotional as that of a snake's? Why Henrietta of _all_ women?

He tried to stay out of the house for as much as possible. Hazel would be fine. He just couldn't stand being near his father. He had stopped attending to the studio, and John didn't call him out on it. At least he also could see how big of a traitor he was being to his own son. The clubhouse was benefiting greatly from the whole situation, though. Daniel's aggressions proved to be of advantage to the building. The haunt was starting to look like something again.

Just like Daniel was back to where he started, Serena was also in a bad predicament. Her new class was not at all better than the first. It was even worse. They had bullied her to the point where she no longer could stand to go back to the school any more. Her parents finally agreed to have her home schooled by the governess, but Serena knew that they were very disappointed with her, and her sisters as well.

Daniel felt furious. Not only were he and Hazel having it hard, but Serena was miserable. It was completely unacceptable. He pounded hard onto the wooden board with the hammer. The club would not fall apart due to loose nails this time, that much was certain.

The wedding sure was something. A lot of high class people that Daniel and Hazel didn't know showed up. The ceremony was held in the Canterbury Cathedral by Archbishop William Howley. He recognised Daniel and Hazel instantly. “Oh, aren't you the luckiest of children,” he had said to them afterwards, “To bid such a brilliant woman into your family. You must be proud!”

Daniel didn't feel proud.

The rest of the wedding was celebrated in Henrietta's mansion. Daniel didn't make an effort to talk to anyone. The people attending were only Henrietta's friends. John apparently didn't deem his own drinking buddies from the working class worthy of inviting. Hypocrite.

Hazel was looking very pale the whole evening. She wore the dress she had gotten from Henrietta. Daniel kept asking her if she wanted to go home and sleep, but she declined. Daniel silently admitted to himself that he actually hoped she would accept so that he also had an excuse to leave.

Henrietta even had the nerve to take John's name. Daniel didn't want to share names with that woman. She was not a Wilkinson. She was not part of the family. He _refused_ to accept it.

What was worse was that John soon set their house for sale. It was too much. Daniel couldn't live in the same house as her. It wasn't going to happen. But of course, arguing with John was as pointless as ever, and the whole contest of who could yell the loudest ended with a sore gut and back for Daniel. Hazel kept out of it and closed her eyes.

In April the whole family had settled in the mansion. Now the estate belonged to the name Wilkinson. It made Daniel sick. He didn't need a large house. He was perfectly fine with the shabby house he had grown up in. The house his mother once had lived in. Hazel constantly tried to cheer her brother up. “Come on, Danny, it's not half bad,” she said with a tentative smile, “I mean, we don't have to share rooms any more.”

Of course, that was a ridiculous argument. Daniel and Hazel had never minded sharing rooms. It was part of the reason why they had gotten such a close bond in the first place.

And as if Henrietta wasn't meddling in others' lives quite enough already, she also made sure to rearrange Daniel's everyday life quite a bit without even asking him how he felt about it. “I have signed you up for the King's School, Daniel,” she said as she poured herself a cup of tea by the morning table, “It is a quite excellent institution. Very exclusive. You're starting this September.”

John raised his eyebrows and smiled. “How wonderful! Isn't that just wonderful, Daniel?”

Daniel stared at her for a moment, unable to believe what he was hearing. “What? N-no!” he began, slowly regaining his ability to speak.

“Daniel…” John mumbled warningly.

“I can't go! It's a boarding school!” Daniel unintentionally raised his voice, “I can't stay away from Hazel for months at a time! How could you just sign me up without consulting me about it first? Are you completely out of your- ?”

“ _ **Daniel!** ”_

He bit his lip to prevent himself from finishing his sentence and fisted his hands. Just like that Henrietta managed to invade, nay, infect all of Daniel's life – and of course he wasn't allowed to speak his mind. He was just supposed to nod and agree, no matter what. John always took Henrietta's side.

Things kept going downhill. In spring, Hazel caught a bad cold. It was worrying. Daniel was overly careful, so Hazel didn't fall sick often, and certainly not in the spring. Her health was fragile enough; she didn't recover as easily from such trifles as others. “Father, this cold has been going on for too long now,” he had told John, when he was reading the newspaper one evening. Henrietta was seated in the couch, reading a book.

John didn't even look up from his paper, “And what do you suppose we do? Doctor Tate is not in town.”

“I know he isn't!” Daniel spat. He regained control of himself as John sent him a warning glare. “But surely there must be other doctors!”

“Do _you_ have money for a doctor, Daniel?” John said aggressively.

As Henrietta noticed the growing tension between the father and son, she spoke up, “I can pay for the doctor.”

Both Daniel and John turned to look at her. John smiled endearingly and said, “Darling, that is so very generous of you.”

Daniel clenched his teeth. Henrietta eyed him as she continued, “But she will have to see my physician. Doctor Barton. He excels in his field, I assure you.”

“Isn't that wonderful, Daniel?” John said, “Aren't you going to thank Henrietta?”

Apparently, everything that Henrietta did was wonderful. Daniel's face remained expressionless. “Thank you, Henrietta.”

Henrietta clearly wasn't satisfied, but she said no more. She wasn't at all as generous as John said. The look, she sent Daniel, spoke for itself; _I hope you know that you will have to pay for this sometime._

Doctor Barton wasn't as bad as Daniel had imagined him to be. In his mind he had been an old, boring man that didn't know what he talked about, and definitely knew nothing of how Hazel should be treated. He was not at all as kind and attentive as Doctor Tate.

But Barton wasn't very old, he couldn't be more than ten years older than Tate. He seemed to know what he was dealing with, just like Henrietta had praised him for. He was very professional – but he still didn't beat Doctor Tate. “How long has she been ill?” Barton said as he felt Hazel's forehead.

“For three weeks,” Daniel said. He felt Henrietta's eyes in the back of his head.

Barton scribbled down some notes in his journal, then he packed up. “The coughing medicine I mentioned earlier will suffice. It is only a cold, nothing to be too worried about. When she starts taking the right medicine, she should recover quickly.”

“See? That's what I told you, Daniel,” Henrietta said nonchalantly. Daniel ignored her.

“Are you sure? Her health is very fragile, Doctor,” Daniel said as he handed Barton his glasses.

Barton accepted them, “Don't worry, son, she will be fine. Just call me in again if anything happens.”

Daniel nodded reluctantly. He had a feeling that Barton wasn't taking Hazel's condition into serious consideration, but there was nothing he could further say to make the physician double-check. He was sensing the older man was beginning to get annoyed with his questioning.

Barton was right. Hazel felt better less than a week later. Daniel didn't like how smug Henrietta was acting about it. She was such a snob.

On his father's birthday, he went to do what the man himself always did to Hazel – he visited Evelyn's grave. He needed to vent out. “She's just a hag, Mother! Stupid! I can't stand her!” he said and kicked the ground. The wind picked up a little bit. It soothed Daniel's anger. He fell to his knees.

_How am I supposed to live like this?_

* * *

For a while, Daniel had really picked up his game and gotten the clubhouse a long way. It was more than halfway finished. But now the summer vacation was near, and the boy had apparently forgotten about the deal he had with Henry. The haunt had been missing a half wall and a roof for two months now.

Henry had heard all about it. John Wilkinson and Henrietta Evans' wedding had been all over the town's lips. Daniel and his little sister had already moved into the house. He was sure that Daniel was really happy now. That he had all that he could ever dream of. A big lavish house. Nice clean clothes. Servants that granted his every wish. And a whole lot of money.

Henry pounded his fist against the wall of the clubhouse, biting his lip as he felt the splitting pain rush from his knuckles all the way up through his arm. He immediately drew his hand back, his eyes welling up.

Daniel had better continue his work. He shouldn't think that he was free just yet. Henry would not let him off that easily.

* * *

Daniel put his backpack down in his room and started changing into some clothes more suitable for work. He had just gotten home from his last day of school; it wasn't anything special, and Daniel was glad that no one made a big deal out of it. Their classroom teacher had already told the class a while ago that he would be transferring after the summer vacation. He had been worried that Henry might decide to 'celebrate' his last day with something special, but the older boy had not neared him. It was a big relief. Daniel couldn't deal with him at the moment, he had enough going on.

He had to admit that his new room was very nice. It was bright and spacious with a light blue wallpaper, a closet, drawers, a desk and a comfortable bed. Only a madman would complain about a comfortable bed!

It only took him a minute to change. He ran out to the hallway and down the stairs to the front hall. Henrietta was there, talking to her housekeeper and servants. He ran past the group and started putting on his shoes.

“Daniel, where are you going?”

Daniel looked up in surprise. Henrietta glanced at him with suspicion. He frowned, “I'm going to work.”

Apparently his answer didn't please her. “You don't have to work,” she said and narrowed her eyes, “Not any more.”

Who did she think she was? Did she really think that Daniel would just give up every aspect of his former life to her money? There was no way that he would let her control him. He didn't want to owe her anything. Daniel glared at her. “Well, I will anyway,” he spat and went out the door.

* * *

Henrietta wasn't the only one who had expected Daniel to be content with the fortune his family owned now.

Daniel arrived at the mill just in time for his usual shift to start; he was always very punctual. Miller was instructing some of the other young men working for him when he saw Daniel coming his way. “Ah, Daniel,” he said, “I thought I would see you around soon. We can go talk in my office in just a minute.” He turned away from Daniel to talk to the boys.

Daniel frowned, not sure what was going on. “Talk? About what? I came to work.”

Miller turned towards Daniel again, his large hands on his hips. “You mean you didn't come to quit your job?” he said.

“No!” Daniel said, feeling shocked. Was Miller going to fire him?

The man's bushy eyebrows rose in surprise. “Oh. Well, I guess there's no problem then. You can just get back to work.”

Daniel stared at the man, not sure how to respond or if he even should. But Miller turned towards his young employees again, dismissing Daniel, so he decided to just do as he was told.

He worked for way longer than he was supposed to. He just didn't feel like going home. Henrietta was waiting there, probably with more questions. It was as if privacy had suddenly become a crime! Daniel helped one of the younger boys with grinding the corn. There was almost nothing left to do any more, but he needed to keep himself busy. When the small boy went home, Daniel knocked on the door to the miller's office.

“Come on in.”

He opened the door. “Is there anything else I can do, sir?” he said.

Miller turned to look at Daniel. “Boy, are you still here? You've been working the whole day, you must be exhausted! Go home!” he ushered, staring at Daniel with incredulity.

Daniel unintentionally got a pleading look on his face. “No, it's fine, really,” he said, “I'm not tired. What can I do?”

The big man laughed. His deep voice made it feel as if the whole office was booming. “Oh, Daniel,” he said, wiping a single tear from his small eyes, “You're a workaholic, do you know that?” Daniel didn't get the chance to answer. “Tell me one thing,” Miller leaned forward, looking at the young boy with a raised eyebrow, “Why are you even working? Your family has money now. Lots. You don't have to.”

Daniel's eyes scanned the small office, avoiding looking at his chief. It was cramped and messy, and dust covered the floor. Books and documents filled the space on the desk. Miller didn't spend time organizing anything else but his corn and flour orders. “I just...” he paused, feeling hesitant, “I don't want to depend on anyone.” His eyes drifted to his boots.

Miller nodded, stroking his moustache. “That's the right attitude, boy.”

* * *

Hazel glanced at the big grandfather clock out in the hallway. It was visible from the bathroom, right from where she sat waiting. The bathtub was filled, the water slowly becoming colder and colder. It showed nine o'clock in the evening. The seconds ticked by, almost mockingly, _tick, tock, tick, tock._

She sighed, her hands grasping onto her nightgown. He promised. What was taking him so long?

“He won't be home in time, Hazel.”

Hazel looked up. Henrietta stood in the doorway. As the girl sat on the floor looking up at the tall majestic woman, she felt even smaller than usual.

Henrietta strode into the bathroom. “You need to go to bed soon. I'll just bathe you instead.”

Hazel didn't feel comfortable about that. She stood up, looking at Henrietta. “N-no, it's quite all right,” she said with an uneasy smile, “I'll just wait. Daniel will be home soon, I'm sure.”

Henrietta narrowed her eyes. She did it the way that Daniel hated. Hazel had heard her brother complain about their new stepmother many times, especially about her eyes. He said they were cold and soulless. Hazel didn't want to agree, even though that look of Henrietta's did intimidate her.

“If you're so sure,” she said, her voice dragging on every syllable as if trying them out to see if they would prove her point sufficiently, “then why have you been waiting for more than an hour?”

The small girl didn't answer. She looked down at her naked feet, fidgeting with one of her messy braids. Her hair was so thick it was hard for the ribbon to keep it in place. Multiple strands of hair had already loosened themselves.

Henrietta let a small smile form on her lips, and she closed the door to the bathroom before sitting down on the chair beside the tub. “Let's clean you up, shall we?” She grabbed Hazel's arm and began unbuttoning her dress.

Hazel was going to let her bathe her, even though she usually only let Daniel do it. Henrietta was also female, just like her. And she was not a stranger. She was her stepmother. It should be fine.

But something inside Hazel couldn't do it. As Henrietta removed her dress, she began to struggle. “N-no!”

Henrietta frowned, “Hazel!”

“No! Daniel bathes me! Only Daniel!”

Hazel broke free of Henrietta's grasp and pulled her dress up again, but she didn't get far before Henrietta grabbed on to both her arms. “Hazel, behave yourself! Daniel cannot bathe you, he is working!”

“He'll come home soon! He always does!” Hazel cried, the pitch of her voice rising. Henrietta's grasp on her arms hurt her, and she felt her eyes tear up.

Henrietta wasn't pleased. Hazel had never seen her face contorted in such an angry expression before. She nearly hissed, _“_ _ **Hazel!**_ _”_

“Don't worry about it, Henrietta, I'll take care of it.”

At once Henrietta let go of Hazel, and they both turned to look at the door. There stood Daniel, panting, having just climbed the stairs in the main hall in a full-fledged run. “Daniel!” Hazel said, running to her older brother. He crouched down and embraced his sister while looking at Henrietta with nothing but resentment.

Henrietta took a deep breath so her whole chest rose and fell in a very distinct manner. The whole time her eyes remained narrowed. “Glad you made it, Daniel,” she spat and walked out of the bathroom.

* * *

“Will you tell me about it?”

Sunlight shined down in the clearing. The shade from the trees kept the youngsters cool on the warm day. The only sounds were those of the nature; birds singing, wind whistling through the trees and cicadas calling for mates.

Serena sniffed and sat up straight, wiping her face with her dress sleeve. “It was really horrible, Daniel,” she said with a thick voice, “What they did to me...”

Daniel leaned forward, placing his hand over hers to show his support.

“I-it was just a normal day like any other, and I wasn't disturbing anyone, just minding my own business…” Her eyes welled up again.

> _Another warm sunny day. Another day alone._
> 
> _The break was such a lonely time. She walked by the lakeside, picking flowers. In this serene and peaceful place of the school, she could be left alone._

“But they didn't leave me alone. I don't know why, I guess they were bored...”

> _She turned around as she heard voices and cheering. They were coming. She wanted to leave, but they didn't just come to enjoy the view of the lake. They surrounded her, they were yelling._
> 
> “ _Bastard child with a bastard mum!”_
> 
> “ _Go home to where you came from!”_
> 
> “ _I heard that they do voodoo in the Indian land! She's a witch!”_
> 
> “ _You and your family are not welcome here in England!”_
> 
> _Small pebbles hit her arms and legs, and it hurt._

Serena grabbed on to her arms, covering the small bruises. “They hate me,” she whispered, “They wanted to kill me.”

> _She tried to escape the scene, but they had her encircled. They closed in, continuously throwing rocks at her. The girls were laughing. She did her best to keep the tears from falling. Regina had told her not to let them see her cry. They would mistake her for being weak. One of them pulled at her hair, and another at her dress. It tore._
> 
> “ _Look at how cheap that is!” they laughed, “Can her father not even afford some decent dresses?”_
> 
> _She couldn't just let them insult her family. “My father has much more money than any of yours! You should watch your mouths!”_
> 
> _They became angry. “Oh, so you think you're better than us?” one of the girls said and pushed her, “Just because your family is the wealthiest?”_
> 
> _Another one pushed her even more aggressively than the other. “How stuck up you are! How dare you!”_
> 
> “ _We thought you just wanted to be one of us? That you didn't want **special treatment**!” a third spat, pulling so hard at the poor girl's hair that she screamed. She didn't even notice that she had gotten so close to the lakeside. Her nice shoes slipped in the mud. She grabbed onto one of the girls' arms to keep her balance, but then they laughed and pushed her again._
> 
> _Next her body was immersed in cold, green darkness._

The tears streamed down Serena's face without her even noticing. She stared blankly at nothing. “I could still hear them laughing,” she whispered.

> _She could swim, but that wasn't enough. The dress was too heavy. She heard the girls laughing. They thought it was hilarious. Whenever she finally managed to get her head up to the surface, they just pushed her back in._
> 
> _She couldn't breathe. Everything around her was dark. Her body was tired. This was it._
> 
> _And all the while she still heard them laughing._

“But Professor Jones came and pulled me up, just in time,” she said and looked down at her hands, her shoulders trembling, “I guess they were all very disappointed.”

Daniel stared at her. He could hear the blood pounding in his ears. His fists were shaking. He was _furious_. Serena covered her face with her hands and started sobbing again. It was painful. Daniel didn't know what to say. She was so upset and he couldn't even do anything about it. No matter how much he wanted to change her situation and protect her, he couldn't. It was hard to face that fact.

He took a deep breath to get a hold of his anger before he put his arms around his friend and pulled her into a warm embrace. “I would've been very disappointed if Professor Jones hadn't pulled you up,” he said quietly and rested his head on top of hers.

Serena grasped his shirt tightly. Her breathing stilled a bit. “Thank you, Daniel.”

Daniel kept silent for a short while, feeling useless. He could do nothing but comfort her. He couldn't actually fix anything. He couldn't save her like Professor Jones did. If he had been there, he would've never let those girls near his darling Serena.

But he hadn't been there. He was never there.

He didn't notice that Serena had stopped crying. Suddenly she sat up again, wiping her swollen eyes. “So...” she began, forcing a gentle smile, “Tell me about Henrietta and the new house. How is it?”

Daniel caressed Serena's dry cheek. “It's horrible,” he said, letting out an ironic laugh by the thought of how stupid it sounded. After Serena's story, his new way of living seemed like a vacation.

Serena also laughed, smiling a bit more sincerely this time. “It surely cannot be that bad?”

“She signed me up for a boarding school,” he snorted, “Some prestigious one.”

She frowned at him, “A prestigious boarding school? Wow, that does sound like a nightmare.”

Daniel nudged her as she laughed. “You don't understand!” he said, though he couldn't hide his amusement himself, “It means that I won't be able to look after Hazel.”

Serena's laughter subsided. “Oh,” she said, giving him an apologetic look, “I see. That is no good.”

“Exactly!” Daniel said, pouting, “Besides, my summer vacation will also be shorter now. I won't return home until late July.”

“Oh no! Will we not be able to celebrate your birthday together then?” Serena said, looking genuinely horrified.

Daniel pulled at her arm to make her lie on his chest. She made herself comfortable as he put his arms around her once more, “I don't know yet.”

* * *

Serena didn't stay to watch the sunset; she said her parents wanted her to be home for dinner. They probably had guests over.

Daniel wandered around the Blean for a while, not feeling like going home. He couldn't stop thinking about Serena and the horrible bullying she had been a victim of, so Henrietta was the last person he wanted to deal with right now.

He didn't spend so much time at home any more. He hated not being able to care for Hazel as much as he used to – especially after the bath incident – but he couldn't stand being near that woman for too long. She always meddled in everything he did! Maybe it was just that Daniel was used to his father being so careless. Either way, he would rather remain independent than having Henrietta stick her nose in his business all the time.

He was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't notice someone coming up from behind him; he jumped when a hand suddenly grabbed his shoulder. “Wilkinson!” Henry said, his voice roaring in anger.

Daniel looked behind him, noticing instantly that his former classmate wasn't in a very pleasant mood. “Oh, hello Henry! How are you?” he said, feeling a bit nervous.

“My haunt,” Henry narrowed his eyes, “I've noticed you've been slacking off. You didn't think that just because you're some rich kid now, you're suddenly exempt from your duties, right?”

“Slacking off?” Daniel snapped, “I would have been done by now if it hadn't been for your little tantrum last summer!”

Henry grabbed Daniel's collar and brought his face very close to his. “Don't act smart with me. I'm getting very impatient, Danny. Unless you want the whole town to know about your girlfriend, I suggest you finish it!”

He thrust Daniel backwards rather aggressively and spat on the ground between them before walking away. Daniel fisted his hands so hard his knuckles turned white. He considered for a moment if he should give in to his fury and punch Henry or keep cool and avoid trouble. When Henry walked out of sight, the decision was made for him.

* * *

Daniel didn't call Serena out on being busy the whole summer. He utilised the time to build Henry's clubhouse instead. He didn't even have fun building it any more. It had become nothing more than something to be over and done with. Some other ridiculous chore.

Henrietta asked him where he was going every time he went out. His answer was always the same; he told her that he was going to work at the miller's, even though most of the time he went to work on the clubhouse or see Serena. She was always so suspicious of him. Daniel didn't really care if she trusted him or not, but it would be nice if she would get off his case. He didn't know why she didn't just give up, he wasn't going to answer differently.

At least John wasn't home to reprimand Daniel every time he snapped at Henrietta. Daniel didn't know where he was; the old studio in the village had been closed down, so he couldn't be out there working. But it didn't even matter, for Daniel couldn't care less. John was nothing but a big traitor. He didn't need a father anyway.

Daniel didn't tell Henrietta that it was his birthday. He just went out to work on the clubhouse like he had been doing for most of the summer vacation. He was sure that she would have forced him to stay home if she had known. He would rather spend the day building Henry's damned house. The only good thing about the haunt was that it was an effective way for Daniel to vent out his anger. He didn't realise that he was pounding so loudly onto the nails.

“What in the world are you doing to that poor playhouse?”

Daniel turned around in shock. He had not expected this. For a moment he didn't know what to do with himself, but eventually he stammered out, “I-I'm building it.”

Serena raised her eyebrows and placed her hands on her hips. “It looks more like you are tearing it down,” she laughed, “With the way you are hammering, you are certainly going to crack the boards!”

He looked down at his hand holding the hammer, pursing his lips. She laughed again and shook her head. “Happy birthday,” she said as she walked closer to him and pulled him into a hug.

He smiled and put his arms around her, feeling incredibly relieved. He hadn't even realised how much he had needed this. “Thanks.”

Serena pulled back and began to examine the house. “Why are you even building this?” she said, “Another one of your father's crazy ideas?”

“No,” Daniel sighed, “It's not my father's idea. I'm doing this for … eh, a friend.”

She looked at him with a pout. “I thought I was your only friend!”

Daniel laughed and charmingly put his arm around her waist, a wry smile on his lips, “Are you jealous?”

Her cheeks blushed a bright pink colour as she tried to loosen Daniel's grip with her hands, “Why would I be jealous? Is it a girl?”

“Would you be jealous if it were a girl?” Daniel asked, playfully biting his lip.

Serena looked up at him. He could tell that a million thoughts were running through her head, it was unmistakable when looking in her eyes. She kept silent for a short while, then she turned around with a dismissive gesture, “As if!” Daniel laughed and shook his head. He loved teasing her.

She knocked on the half finished roof. “So, are you really going to spend your birthday building this thing?”

“I have to,” he said with an apologetic smile, “It's a belated birthday gift.”

Serena frowned. “To you? How is it a gift if you are building it?”

He laughed, shaking his head, “No, for the friend. He requested this more than a year ago...”

“Aha!” she said and pointed an accusing finger at him, “So it is _not_ a girl!”

Daniel crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. “Can we just move on?”

Serena laughed and picked up a nail from the toolbox. “All right then, let's get started!”

His eyes widened; he hurried over and grabbed her wrist. She looked at him with confusion. “What exactly do you mean by that?” he said, eyeing her suspiciously.

She merely laughed and took the hammer he was holding, “That we should start building, of course! You are such a dummy sometimes, Daniel.”

“No way!” he said sharply, grabbing her other wrist, “You're not going to build anything!”

“Why? What are you going to do, tell my mother?” she said and glared at him.

That was a good point. He didn't have anything he could hold against her. His bottom lip started quivering and his cheeks flushed. Serena couldn't contain her laughter by the sight. Daniel let go of her wrists and turned his back to her with crossed arms, clearly annoyed. “All right, then! Just don't come running to me when you break your nail and you need someone to kiss it better!”

Serena giggled as she put her arms around his neck from the back and rested her chin on his shoulder. “As if you wouldn't want to kiss me!”

She let go immediately afterwards. That comment had turned Daniel's knees to jelly for some reason he couldn't explain. He waited till he was sure that the blush on his face had disappeared completely before taking a deep breath and turning around to see what Serena was doing.

She picked up a wooden board and handed Daniel his hammer, “But it is no fun if we aren't going to do it together. You must've been insane if you thought that I was going to let you build this alone on your birthday!”

He smiled. This was Serena in a nutshell. Never missing out on Daniel's birthday. She had once told him the reason why she valued his birthday so much.

“ _It's a special day because you came to the world! It should be celebrated!”_

His existence should be appreciated. She wanted to express how glad she was that Daniel was born.

_You **should** have been born._

Daniel grabbed the hammer, “Let's get to work.”

* * *

He couldn't believe it. He had never thought that he would be able to finish it so quickly.

Daniel lay on his back and looked up into the roof. Serena was by his side, also eyeing their beautiful creation. He had managed to do it. He was finally free of Henry's blackmail.

Daniel had never even considered that it might actually take much less time if he had someone to assist him. He and Serena had spent the whole day building. Serena wasn't capable of doing much, but she handed him the tools, held the boards in place and just generally made the whole process much easier – and of course, a lot more fun. He sighed and closed his eyes. The sun hadn't even set yet. He still had time to spend with Serena. He felt so thankful.

“It has turned out quite all right, has it not?” Serena said with a gentle hum. They were both very tired.

Daniel merely nodded, not opening his eyes. He felt her move closer to him, and he put his arm out so that she could cuddle up to him. “It would be really nice if it were ours.”

He opened his eyes and looked at her. She had her eyes closed, too. Her voice was merely a whisper now. “Happy birthday, Daniel…”

As Serena drifted off to sleep, Daniel was thinking. He liked the idea more and more. He smiled.

 


	13. King's School

The summer came to an end all too quickly. Daniel started missing Serena the second they said goodbye, and if it wasn't bad enough that he wouldn't see her for another year, he also had to say goodbye to his sister.

The whole house was in chaos. The servants were running from one end of the mansion to the other, reorganising it to fit the needs of the new family better. Daniel's room was nearly empty, all of his belongings already loaded onto the coach that was to take him to the school, including his new school uniform; the full Canterbury dress, as it was called. It was black, blue and white, the official colours of the school, and most certainly much neater than his old one.

Daniel found himself conflicted between hating that he had to leave Hazel behind and feeling relieved that he was finally free from Henry and his clubhouse. He spent his last hours at home in her room, trying to make up for the lack of attention he had shown her the past few months. “I don't want to go,” he said, resting his head in his palm.

Hazel lay in her bed, looking at Daniel with a glance of melancholy. She didn't want him to go either. Even though she didn't have anything against Henrietta, she was uncomfortable with the thought of being left alone with her and John for so long. She was used to having Daniel around. She felt safe with him there.

But she didn't tell him. Instead she tried to cheer him up, “It'll be fine, Danny. I will write you letters and keep you updated! I'm sure you will have a good time and make a lot of new friends.”

“I don't want new friends,” Daniel said and looked at Hazel, “I'm fine with just Serena and you. I don't need other people in my life. Not even Father!”

The last comment had a tinge of strain to it, undeniably forced. She saw her older brother bite his lip. Even though he tried to act as if it didn't affect him, Hazel knew Daniel well enough to see that he was really hurt by their father's actions. She knew that he was hurt, and that was why she was able to forgive that he never was home any more, even if that left her completely alone. She put her hand over his and offered him a gentle smile. “What you have in life doesn't only have to be what you need,” she said, “Sometimes it's fine to indulge. Even if you only need me and Serena, I'm sure it will be nice to have others as well.”

Daniel sighed and stroked her hair. “We've grown up only attending to our needs,” he said, a wry smile forming on his lips, “I'm not quite used to giving my desires any thought yet.”

“It's about time, don't you think?” Hazel smiled.

He laughed and leaned forward to peck her on the forehead. “Since when did my baby sister become so wise, huh?”

She laughed and embraced him. “I'm going to miss you, Danny!”

“Not as much as I'm going to miss you.”

“ _ **DANIEL! YOU'RE LEAVING NOW!** ”_

Daniel cringed by the sound of John's roar resonating throughout the entire house. Hazel laughed at his expression. “Go now,” she whispered, “Have fun, and remember to write me!”

* * *

It was the first time Daniel drove in such a fine carriage. Henrietta and John did not tag along, and he was thankful for that. Two single servants were sent with him, the butler, he had met on that Christmas evening one year ago – Charles, was his name – and a young errand boy named Edward Baker. Daniel didn't try to talk to either of them, he simply stared out the window at the country passing by as they neared town.

Daniel was calm. At first he had felt very nervous; how would the other students welcome him? Would he have any friends at all? Could he even keep up with the academic level? He had after all only gone to a simple grammar school run by the small village church. The teaching had not been so thorough, as it was mere charity for working class children.

But after exhausting himself with all those nerve-racking and completely unnecessary thoughts, he decided with himself that it didn't matter. He didn't have to make friends with anyone. He was just going there to educate himself. Nothing else. This decision made it all seem a bit more manageable. The expectations were gone, and he could focus.

As the coach strolled past the Westgate, the knot in his stomach started to form again, though. Even if he wanted to be careless, his subconscious was feeling differently. A single sweat drop fell from his forehead.

The Canterbury Cathedral was as tall and majestic as usual. The last time Daniel had been here, Henrietta and John were tying their knots. Not a very pleasant memory. But the carriage continued past the church, finally thundering into a gate placed a little ways behind it. The driveway was huge, and so were the buildings. Daniel stared out the window at all of the boys, both younger, older and the same age as him, running around, laughing, embracing each other and saying hello again after a long, well-deserved summer vacation.

Three buildings accompanied the first one, all looking as if they were taken out of a novel set in medieval times. It was in these buildings, St. Augustine of Canterbury first had started his school back when King Henry VIII had ruled. This was the King's School.

As soon as the coach stopped, Daniel climbed out. He looked around with wide eyes. Having completely forgotten how much he had detested the thought of going to this school at first, the only thing he felt now was awe.

“Mr. Wilkinson, sir, we will bring your luggage to your room now.”

Daniel turned around to look at Charles and Edward. They were both carrying four large bags each, waiting patiently for Daniel to lead the way.

Suddenly he realised that he was the one in possession of the letter he had received from the school. It contained information on his room number as well as the curriculum for the semester, the order of his school uniform, the term dates and which class he was in. He fumbled in his pockets to find the piece of paper and unfolded it. “All right,” he mumbled as he skimmed through the letter, “My room is number D13 in building three.”

“Shall we go then?” Charles said and made a move to walk towards one of the smaller buildings on the right side of the main building. A move that looked very awkward.

Daniel grabbed on to some of the bags he carried, “You shouldn't carry all that by yourself. Let me take some of it, my arms work fine.” Charles and Edward sent each other a glance before following the young boy to his chamber.

The building looked like it had been part of the Cathedral earlier. A long hallway with both walls, loft and floor made of bricks went from one end of the building to the other, and a flight of stairs led to another hallway on the next floor. But according to Daniel's letter, his room was placed on the ground floor. The boy led the way, checking the tags on the doors. A lot of boys his own age packed the hallway, and there was a lot of noise. Daniel was not at all used to such an atmosphere, but he didn't really mind it. The door showed up to his right. It was already open. “It's here!” he said, pointing at the door for the servants to see.

Charles and Edward stopped to allow Daniel to enter first. He peeked inside the room, seeing not one, but two beds in the small space, including a desk between them and two wardrobes. The bed by the window was already occupied by several bags and a single life-sized puppet with a real mess of brown, curly hair covering its whole head. Daniel walked into the room and put his bags on the unoccupied bed, when suddenly the doll jumped up, causing Daniel's heart to nearly jump all the way up his throat. “Don't take my bed!”

“Whoa!” Daniel exclaimed, sitting down on the opposite bed.

The puppet wasn't an actual puppet – it was a real live boy that apparently had just woken from a nap. He removed his wild bangs from his head and revealed a set of really large brown eyes, a snub nose and some protruding front teeth. All in all, the boy's face reminded Daniel of a rodent. He was so small and skinny that Daniel had mistaken him for being inanimate.

The boy turned his gaze from Daniel to the two servants by the door. Then he looked back at Daniel again, pointing a finger at him, “I want the bed by the window! Don't you dare take it!”

Daniel held up his hands in a calming gesture, “I won't take your bed! Don't worry!”

Charles and Edward walked into the room and put the bags down by the bed, Daniel sat on. “Do you need any more help, Mr. Wilkinson?” Charles said, eyeing the strange boy.

He shook his head, “No, thank you. You can go home.” Daniel rummaged through one of his smaller bags and pulled out a letter. He handed it to Charles, “Give this to Hazel when you return!”

“As you wish, Mr. Wilkinson,” Charles said and bowed his head, “I bid you a nice stay at the school. We'll see each other again soon.”

Charles and Edward left the room again. Daniel sighed and turned to look at the small boy opposite him. _And I thought that I was skinny_ , he thought, raising an eyebrow.

The boy frowned at him, almost in a hostile manner. “What are _you_ looking at?”

Daniel widened his eyes. “N-nothing!” He tried to approach him differently, “Um, so what is your name? Mine is Daniel.”

The large brown orbs eyed him suspiciously. “My name is Benjamin. Benjamin Wood.”

He gave Benjamin a tentative smile. “Nice to meet you! I guess you caught my surname earlier. We are going to be room mates, right?”

Benjamin's eyes scanned Daniel's bags, still looking very suspicious. “Yes.” The boy made him nervous. He didn't know if this was the best first impression he had gotten of the school so far. Benjamin seemed like a really weird kid.

Daniel looked around the room, pursing his lips. He didn't know what to say, and it would be rude to just leave the room. The silence was very awkward.

“Do you want to see my snails?”

He looked perplexed at the smaller boy. “You keep snails as _pets?”_

Benjamin grinned, his teeth looking as if they would make the whole of his head fall to the floor due to the heavy size of them. “Yes, they're the best! I hide them in a box behind the stables. The Headmaster cannot give me a note about them because they're not _really_ pets, so I'm technically allowed to have them here.”

“Have you gotten a note about your pets before?” Daniel said, frowning.

“Well, only the ones that were discovered,” Benjamin said, swinging his legs back and forth, “I'm pretty sure no one has found Patterson yet. I lost him on my first year.”

Daniel didn't like the sound of that. “And what might Patterson be?”

Benjamin tilted his head and looked up towards the loft casually, way too casually for what his next words would turn out to be, “My South American boa!”

Daniel's eyes widened. Knowing that an exotic, possibly venomous snake was roaming the school grounds didn't make him feel safe at all. His new room mate was definitely not a good sign. He didn't know what to expect of this coming year.

* * *

It didn't take long before the school bell rang to announce dinner. All of the boys gathered in front of the main building, walking inside and seating themselves in the great dining hall.

Daniel followed Benjamin, who had lost his hostile attitude and now chattered heartily about all of his strange interests. Not only was he very fond of reptiles and insects, he found the human body interesting and apparently had no problem studying droppings and vomit. Daniel felt sick by the mere thought of it, but he didn't know anyone else on the school so far, so he had no choice but to stay by his room mate's side.

“So I actually found out that Joseph had tapeworm before the vet even arrived!” Benjamin snickered. It sounded more like a grunt than a laugh. “What do you say, Daniel, isn't that just neat?”

Daniel nodded with a stiff motion, trying his best to block out the picture of how Benjamin figured out that his father's dog had a tapeworm infection. He looked around in the hall, hoping that the Headmaster would start his speech soon so that he wouldn't have to listen to any more of Benjamin's atrocious stories.

“Hello Benji, who's your friend?”

He turned around to look in Benjamin's direction again. A very tall boy – even a bit taller than Henry – with an athletic figure and long, jet black hair sat down by Benjamin's side. He had a bright and charming smile.

Benjamin hiccuped, “Why, good day, Christopher! It sure is nice to see you again! This is my new room mate, Daniel.”

Christopher held out his hand for Daniel to shake. “Hi Daniel. It's nice to meet you. My name is Christopher Knight.”

Daniel couldn't help but notice how piercing his crystal blue eyes were. He felt a little better, meeting a boy that actually seemed normal. He smiled and shook Christopher's hand, “Nice to meet you, too.”

Just then, another group of boys came striding, obviously teasing each other. The tallest one of them, a gangly redhead with freckles and a mischievous smile, grabbed the shorter one with round glasses and made a mess of his slick, brown hair. “Ow, come on, Timmy! My mum spent an hour doing it!”

Christopher laughed, “It's good to see you, lads. As much of a trouble maker as always, right, Timothy?”

The boy with the bright red hair winked at Christopher and sat down across from him. The boy with the glasses and now messy hair, and the third boy that accompanied them, sat down beside him. The third boy looked at Daniel with curious almond eyes, that somewhat reminded Daniel of Serena's, and fluffy brown hair. “Hey, are you the new boy? Daniel Wilkinson, right?” His dialect was slightly different, more rounded than the others'.

“Wilkinson? The family that Henrietta Evans married into?”

Daniel looked up at a newly arrived boy, one with well-groomed blond hair, blue eyes and a cocky smile. Just by his radiation, Daniel could tell that he was the leader type. The boy with glasses looked at Daniel with wide eyes. “Is that so? How exciting! I don't think I've introduced myself properly, my name is Harvey Steele.”

The blond boy sat down beside Daniel and shook his hand, “Welcome to King's School. I am Everett Hammond, son of George Hammond. I'm sure you've heard of the paper production that my father owns.”

Daniel didn't know what to do with himself. Suddenly there was a lot of new impressions that he had to process, and he barely even had the chance to answer anyone before one of the lively boys spoke up. The redhead also reached over to shake Daniel's hand, “Hi Daniel! My name is Timothy Clancy Moore, but you can just call me Timmy, that's what everyone else does!”

“And I'm Owen Wright,” the gentle boy with the almond, deep brown eyes said. His fluid accent and calm demeanour made his voice sound almost soothing.

Daniel smiled tentatively at everyone, “Um, hello... It's really nice to meet all of you.”

“See, you've overwhelmed him!” Christopher laughed, reaching past Benjamin to pat Daniel's shoulder, “Try and give the poor guy some space!”

Harvey adjusted his glasses, “But is it really true that your father is the man who married Mrs. Evans?”

“Don't you mean Mrs. Wilkinson now?” Timmy said, Harvey nudging him in the side as he laughed.

Daniel nodded, feeling very awkward being the object of attention. Everett put an arm around Daniel's shoulders, making him turn his attention to the charming boy. “Tell us, Daniel,” he said, giving Daniel a smile that he could already tell would mean trouble, “Are the rumours about her true?”

The whole group of boys gasped. “Everett!” Harvey said with disbelief, “You don't ask such things! It's rude!”

“I actually want to know, too,” Timmy said and leaned forward to stare at Daniel expectantly.

“I don't know, to be honest,” Daniel said quickly, hoping that Everett would remove his arm from his shoulder. It made him feel uncomfortable.

Owen rested his chin in his palm, “Aren't you scared for your father? Don't you wonder if she might murder him like she did poor Mr. Evans?”

“Come on, Owen!” Harvey said, as insulted as Daniel should be, but wasn't.

“It's all right,” he said with a small smile, “But I'd rather not talk about it.” The boys fell silent, looking thoughtfully at Daniel. He turned his gaze to his lap, feeling sort of naked. He hadn't expected everyone to already know who he was. He felt completely out of his comfort zone, even though the boys seemed nice so far.

“It's fair if you don't want to talk about it.” It was Christopher who broke the silence, “Sometimes Everett crosses the line a bit. He likes to do that.” Christopher sent Everett an indicative look, and Everett grinned charismatically in response.

“Yes, it's completely fair,” Timmy nodded, while Harvey adjusted his glasses once again.

“We apologise for meddling like that,” Owen said. He brushed his curly long bangs out of the way so that he could look at Daniel.

Daniel smiled back at him, sincerely this time. “Don't mind it.” Benjamin just looked back and forth at all of the boys with an eager look, like a dog looking for attention. None of the boys noticed him, though.

“Silence!” a voice rang through the hall, and all the noise subsided. Daniel turned to look up at the platform where the small group of professors were assembled. The Headmaster, a man in a cassock and with thin dark hair, stood up to talk. “Welcome back to King's School once again!”

* * *

“ _Bonjour_ , boys,” Monsieur Le Grand said, “It's good to see you all again.” He was a short man with sharp grey eyes and slicked back dark hair, a few grey strands barely visible. The features on his face were unusually prominent, his nose resembling a bird's beak.

Daniel hadn't had a problem with French earlier, but he didn't know if his knowledge could compete with any of the students here. Maybe they were much more fluent than him. He had placed himself on the back row to avoid getting any attention on the first day of school. Timmy and Owen had waved at him to sit down beside them. Christopher and Everett sat in the front of the class, seemingly having a good time.

Le Grand eyed the class. As his gaze stalled by Everett, the boy stopped what he was doing to give the professor a flashing smile. “I trust you had a good vacation, Mr. Hammond,” the teacher said, his thick French accent coating each and every word.

“Indeed, Monsieur,” Everett grinned, the other boys giggling.

Daniel held his breath. Back in the village school, a boy would have been harshly punished for such impudence. Everett sure had some nerves!

But Le Grand merely smiled, “I'm glad. Maybe you'll behave yourself this year, then.”

The class laughed. Daniel was astounded. Things were really very different here. Le Grand turned towards his desk, stroking his small goatee as he chuckled. “All right, boys, now quiet down,” he said, the French dialect seeping through to such an extent that it was impossible not to notice, “I see we have a new student in our class.”

Daniel wanted to disappear. He tried to hide his face discreetly behind his hands while Timmy nudged at his side. “Ah yes,” the Frenchman said, “A Mr. Daniel Wilkinson, is it not?”

He tried to remain unnoticed, but the boys had other plans for him. Everett turned around in his seat, looking at Daniel with a mischievous smile – almost as if he knew that he was about to make Daniel very uncomfortable on purpose. “Yes, that would be our lovely new friend.”

All the boys in the class turned to look at the new boy. Daniel felt a lot of eyes on him. He hated the attention. He felt like an animal being exposed in the local zoo. Le Grand smiled, “ _Bienvenue_ , Mr. Wilkinson. I'm sure you will feel at home here. Hopefully you'll prove to be an – ah, _excellent_ addition to the class.”

Daniel offered a strained smile, trying to block out the mumbling he heard around the class.

“Wilkinson? Isn't that the family that Henrietta Evans married into?”

“Why is he wincing like that? He should know we won't bite!”

“His hair looks really nice, doesn't it?”

“I wonder if his father has a lot of money.”

He definitely hated the attention.

* * *

It seemed that the level at this school wasn't very different from his old one – and that meant that it was actually no problem for Daniel to keep up. He was just as surprised as the others. Christopher and Everett placed themselves close to the other boys to work with them. “Wow Daniel, you're not half bad,” Christopher said as Daniel finished reciting the bit of French literature the boys had to read and translate in groups.

“Your accent is really good,” Owen commented.

Daniel merely shrugged. “I've read excerpts of _Les Liaisons_ _Dangereuses_ before,” he said, “It shouldn't be too difficult to translate this one.”

“Can you help me with my translation?” Timmy said, looking at Daniel with pleading blue eyes. Everett didn't utter a word. He merely observed as the other boys talked.

Daniel smiled at Timmy, “Of course! I'll help you!”

“Daniel, the new Frenchman of the class,” Christopher chuckled, turning the page of the book.

“You know, Daniel,” Everett said, “My family has an estate down in southern France. I've spent summers down there. I wonder if your French is better than mine.”

He looked at Everett, not really knowing how to respond. He gave him a tentative smile, “It probably isn't. I have never really had the need to use my French before...”

Everett narrowed his eyes for just a second. It was so brief that Daniel wondered if he had just imagined it. Then he smiled brightly, laughing, “You know what? It probably is! Those Frenchmen always misunderstood what I said, there must have been a reason for that.”

The other boys laughed, shaking their heads at their friend. Daniel felt confused at first at the sudden change of mood, but then decided to just laugh along with the others.

“Now, _g_ _arçons_ _!”_ Le Grand said, slamming his hand down on the desk they sat by, “Focus!”

“Yes, Monsieur,” they all said. Owen winked at Daniel.

As the professor strode away, Timmy turned his attention to Daniel again, “All right, this first part; _Alors_ _je_ _commençai_ _à_ _déployer_ _sur_ _le grand_ _Théâtre_ _les_ _talents_ _que_ _je_ _m'étais_ _donnés…_ I understand some of it, but I need help.”

* * *

Daniel ended up doing more of Timmy's homework than his own. Timmy was easily distracted, always poking fun at the others around him. Daniel didn't want to call him out on it, though; he wasn't one to be a mood killer. Timmy was so grateful for Daniel's help that he dragged him out into the town when they had their break to go buy sweets.

“Are you going to buy toffee at Mrs. Bell's?” Daniel asked.

“Indeed, she's the best!” Timmy said while counting his pence, “She once gave me a whole mince pie for free! I'm a very loyal customer of hers!” He flashed his big teeth at Daniel. It surprised him that they were still so white despite all the sweets Timmy ate.

It took no time to walk down to the candy store. The school was right behind the Cathedral, and the Cathedral was right next to the Buttermarket. The store wasn't very crowded today. Mrs. Bell had just finished tending to a customer as she immediately noticed Timmy, “Oh, Timothy! It's so nice to see you again, did you have a nice summer vacation?”

“I did, thank you, Mrs. Bell!” Timmy beamed.

“You've grown even taller! When are you going to get some meat on those bones?” the plump woman said, pinching Timmy's chubby cheeks – the only chubby part on him.

Apparently Timmy didn't find it annoying at all. Nothing could put out his high spirit. “Just keep feeding me, Mrs. Bell, then I'm sure it will start forming soon!”

Mrs. Bell chuckled heartily and shook her head. She finally noticed Daniel, “Who's your little friend? You look like you could also use some filling, sweetheart.”

“This is Daniel, he's new at our school!” Timmy said excitedly, “And he's fluent in French!”

Daniel blushed. “I'm not _fluent_ …”

Mrs. Bell tightened the ribbon around her messy bun which was nearly falling out, “That is nice. Are you from the surrounding area, Daniel?”

“Yes... Actually, I've been to your store earlier,” he said, smiling, “I love your English toffee, Mrs. Bell.”

“Oh, isn't that just adorable!” Mrs. Bell chortled, now pinching Daniel's cheek. Strangely enough, he didn't mind it. “You both should have a free bag! I'm always happy to see young men with such good manners in my shop!”

Daniel and Timmy left the store sharing a bag of English toffee, the kind that Daniel loved so much. It really wasn't too bad. Daniel could get used to this new way of living.

* * *

Henry eyed the house. He heard a buzzing in his ears, a very agitating noise. It just wouldn't seem to stop.

The clubhouse had turned out quite nice. It didn't collapse, even as Henry pounded his fist into it in sheer anger. It just stood there without even trembling, _mocking_ Henry.

The sound of his grinding teeth also annoyed him. But he couldn't stop.

 _It's very neat, Daniel_ , he thought, _It's just_ _ **perfect**_ _!_ He kicked the house, but it remained still, firm as a bloody oak.

Daniel had actually managed to finish the house. It had turned out much better than Henry had expected it to. He had thought that he might be able to exhaust the haunt a bit more if it hadn't been as stable, but that clearly wasn't an option now. It seemed that the house would be able to withstand both storms and hurricanes.

He couldn't believe that Daniel had just run off to some expensive boarding school. It was as if he enjoyed making a fool out of Henry.

 _I'm not done, Daniel_ , he thought, his promise dripping sheer hate, _I still know your secret._

* * *

_My dearest older brother,_

_Now it is time for me to show you just how good I've gotten at writing. Henrietta's housemaid, Miss Turner, says that my handwriting is very pretty. She is teaching me to draw the letters in a neat cursive style, do you like it?_

_The house really is very quiet without you here, even though you weren't around that much anyway. Henrietta has brought it upon herself to teach me at home. She said that she would rather make sure that I am schooled properly than trust some governess to do it. That is very nice of her, is it not?_

_I still don't see Father around. He's never home. I want to ask Henrietta about it, but I can't bring myself to it. I feel like I'm not supposed to ask questions._

_I'm very bored these days, for I am confined to my bed. Doctor Barton visits me often, always under the supervision of Henrietta. It's because I've started to have some minor seizures again, but don't worry about it, Daniel. I am fine most of the time, and I receive medicine to make me feel better every time I experience any sort of pain. It's just really boring being in my room all day, but the fairytale books, you left at home for me, keep me entertained._

_I really hope that you are having a good time at your new school. Have you made any friends? Are they being nice to you? I'm sure you've already impressed everyone with your wide knowledge. It saddens me that you won't return home this vacation, but we'll see each other again for Christmas._

_I miss you, Daniel. Stay strong. I can't wait to hear about your school._

_With love,_

_Hazel_

 

Daniel pursed his lips, skimming through the letter once again.

The two first months at the school had gone by much quicker than Daniel had thought they would. He had tried to keep a low profile, and it had worked out well so far. He had not really gotten acquainted with anyone else other than the boys in his class, and of course the boys he had met on the first day. He talked mostly to Harvey, Owen and Timmy. Christopher and Everett were very close and did everything together. Benjamin was a bit sporadic and all over the place. No one could figure the small boy out; he was rather unpredictable.

On one of the first few days, Daniel had had a talk with the Headmaster, Reverend George Wallace. He bid Daniel welcome to the school, commenting that he wasn't the only one that was new; Wallace had just taken over the position as headmaster this very year.

Now that the half term was finally here, two months seemed like way too long a wait, though. Henrietta and John had decided that Daniel should stay at the school for the first vacation, just to settle in a little better before going home. It was ridiculous. He had settled in fine, he didn't need to stay at the school for another ten weeks. He wanted to go home to Hazel.

But there was nothing to do. As he read through Hazel's letter a third time, his hands crumbled the paper slightly.

Benjamin pounded on his clothes to fit it into the bag. He jumped on top of it to squeeze it down, but the light weight of the boy didn't help very much. He sighed and turned his gaze to his room mate sitting by the desk between their beds. “It's really too bad that you can't go home, Daniel,” he said without sounding sorry at all, “I would be devastated if I had to stay here! But my humble reason is that my father bought me a chameleon. I just can't wait to meet it!”

Daniel turned towards Benjamin, forcing a smile. Being room mates with Benjamin had been a bit of a struggle. Not only was he very chatty whenever they were alone – and the topics he chose to talk about were not very appetising, to say the least – but he also snored and grunted in his sleep.

Daniel had a hard time sleeping here. He didn't want to tell Benjamin about his fear of the dark, so he had to endure it until Benjamin was sound asleep. Luckily Benjamin was a heavy sleeper, so Daniel could light the candle on his bed stand once he was sure that he wouldn't wake his room mate. But even with the light on, there was the noise Benjamin made. He snored so loudly that it was difficult to fall asleep either way. Daniel only got a few hours of sleep every night. He missed sharing rooms with Hazel. He sighed. “That sounds lovely, Benjamin.”

“Yes, doesn't it? I'm so excited!” Benjamin stood up, trying to close his bag once again.

Daniel smiled, standing up. “Let me help you with that.”

* * *

The school grounds were very quiet once all the students had left to go home to their families. Everything seemed much larger when the halls were empty.

Daniel wandered around near the paddocks right outside the town, breathing in the fresh air. The school had their own stables and horses. He had heard that some of the boys even brought their own. The equestrian classes would start after the half term. Daniel felt nervous about it. He had never been taught how to ride a horse.

He knew that it was something that any respectable gentleman should be able to do, but he hadn't had the opportunity. What if he would fall off the animal and make a fool out of himself? Or even get hurt? He tried to push the thought aside. He would worry about that bridge when he had to cross it.

“Hi, Daniel!”

Daniel turned around. Owen came walking up to him, waving. He smiled, “Hello Owen. Have you not gone home yet?”

“No, I'm staying here for the half term,” he said, leaning against the fence of the paddock to watch the grazing horses, “I always stay at the school during these short vacations.”

“Oh? Why is that?” Daniel asked curiously, noticing one of the horses coming their way.

Owen patted the horse's strong neck, “My family is from Hereford. I'm a long way from home, you see, so it ain't worth the while travelling all the way there when the vacation is so short anyway.”

Daniel nodded, “I did notice that your dialect is different. Don't you ever get homesick?”

Gentle brown eyes glanced at Daniel. “Sure I do,” he said, “But the school is sort of my second home. I just try to get the most out of it and not dwell on the negative aspects.”

Daniel smiled at his classmate, “Well, at least we're not alone.”

Owen laughed and combed his brown curls back with his hand. “What do you say we go into town and look around for a bit?”

* * *

Daniel and Owen spent their vacation together. Only ten other boys stayed at the school, but none of them were from their year group. Daniel moved into Owen's room; Owen's room mate had also gone home to his family for the vacation, so it wouldn't harm anyone if Daniel took up the space in the meantime.

“Did he seriously get you to build a house for him?” Owen laughed, settling in his bed.

Daniel grimaced, staring up at the ceiling. “Not a real house. Just a small one, like a playhouse.” As Owen continued to laugh, Daniel threw his pillow at him, “Stop laughing! You don't understand, I had to!”

“I'm sorry, Daniel, but you gotta admit it sounds a bit ridiculous,” Owen said.

“He's a devil child, I tell you!” Daniel answered, also amused.

“He sounds like one. Henry, was it? Did you have any other friends as, um, _charming_ as him at your old school?” Owen chuckled, lying on his stomach.

Daniel placed his arms behind his head. He had grown closer to Owen this half term. They had spent every day together, fooling around and getting to know each other. Owen had told him about his family and about the cottage they owned in a small village in the outskirts of Canterbury. They celebrated Christmas there every year to spare Owen the long trip home to Herefordshire only to stay for such a short while.

Daniel had also told him about John and Hazel, but he avoided going into detail about Henrietta. It was obvious that everyone already knew about the rumours surrounding her, and he honestly didn't want to be questioned about it.

He felt strangely comfortable talking to Owen about all of these personal matters. He reminded Daniel of Serena a little bit, but he guessed that it was mostly the warm brown eyes. His personality was a lot more easygoing than Serena's.

But despite feeling that he could trust the gentle boy, he didn't want to risk anything. They had only known each other for two months. It would be best to stay on the side of caution, so he didn't tell him about his secret summertime friend. “I've never really had time to play with other children,” he said, “Before my father's marriage, we didn't have a lot of money. So I had to work, help out in the house and take care of my sister.” It wasn't a lie.

Owen nodded thoughtfully. “I can't imagine how exhausting that must be,” he said in awe, “I think all of the boys here come from somewhat wealthy middle-class families. We never had to work, we had servants.” He grinned and added, “I feel like a spoiled brat now!”

Daniel smiled at Owen, “Don't. Be grateful of what you have. Some aren't as lucky.”

“I guess I shouldn't be so harsh on myself,” he said, laughing at his own sarcasm, “Besides, Everett is way more spoiled than I am.”

“Is he even … reliable?” Daniel asked, feeling a bit insecure. It was kind of moving out on thin ice asking a question like that.

“Don't worry, he's a nice guy once you get to know him,” Owen said, drawing figures in the air with his slender fingers, “He can appear a little arrogant at first, but he's really a lot of fun! He always comes up with these genius hoaxes and dares.”

Daniel nodded, relief filling him. “I see. He is very close to Christopher, right?”

Owen turned his gaze towards Daniel with a laugh, “Oh, so you've noticed. They have been glued together ever since the first year. “

Daniel also laughed. “It's difficult not to. They are rather … loud.”

“Christopher is brilliant. No one knows the ladies like he does,” Owen laughed and winked at Daniel, “If you ever need advice, just ask him. He's not so shy to share his experiences.”

Daniel blushed, trying to steer the attention back on Owen, “Do _you_ ever need his advice?”

Even though it was hard to tell in the dim light of the candle, there was no denying that Owen's face flushed bright red. “Why would I need it? I do fine by myself!”

Daniel laughed. “Please!” he said, turning on to his side, “We won't be able to do much anyway. A lady is not supposed to engage in any intimacy before marriage.”

Owen raised his eyebrows and looked at Daniel with a sly grin. “You would be surprised at just how many lassies who are willing anyway.”

Daniel widened his eyes. He was dumbfounded. “Really?” he said, “Are you serious?”

“As long as no one finds out, they love to fool around a little bit,” Owen nodded.

Daniel tried to find the words. He had never thought that anything like that was ever heard of. His voice turned to a whisper, “Have _you_ been intimate with a girl?”

Owen blushed again. “Well, actually I haven't,” he said, fidgeting with the fringes on his duvet, “I haven't gone all the way, at least.”

“But you have done other … eh, acts?” Daniel said with wide eyes, feeling astounded.

The boy with the fluffy hair grinned at Daniel once more, “I told you that I don't need Christopher's advice!”

Daniel gaped at him, feeling thunderstruck. It was sort of … awe-inspiring. “I wonder,” he said, as he turned around to lie on his back again, “if Christopher has ever managed to go all the way.”

“I think he has,” Owen said thoughtfully, “Perhaps Everett, too. But not Timmy or Harvey. They're as innocent as newborn puppies. And I doubt that Benjamin has ever been in close proximity of anyone other than his own mum!” They both laughed; that seemed plausible.

The room fell silent for a while. Daniel was thinking. He had never imagined that anything like that was possible in his age. When he had talked to John about it, his father had only mentioned how a man and woman were to be together once they were married. He didn't make it seem like an option that one could lie with a lady without it leading to a baby. But maybe they were both fooling themselves...

“So you haven't even kissed a girl?”

Daniel looked at Owen. His dark eyes glinted in the candlelight, looking at him curiously. He shook his head.

“What about dancing?” he asked.

“I've danced with a girl before,” Daniel said, thinking back on the first summer he had spent with Serena, “But there was nothing romantic about it.”

Owen laughed at his last comment. “Oh Daniel, dancing is merely the first act,” he said.

Daniel looked at Owen, pondering what he had said. What was that supposed to mean? And if dancing was the first act, then what was the next?

Owen yawned and sat up to blow out the candle. “It's getting late. We should go to sleep.”

 


	14. Estranged

Autumn had settled in good. The air in Canterbury was definitely not warm any more, but that is what one would expect when being so close to the Atlantic Ocean. At least Canterbury wasn't a seaport like Ramsgate or Dover.

Daniel stood in line between Owen and Timmy, nervously observing as the professor examined the horses. The class had already saddled them and brought them out to the riding ground. Now Professor Hill had to make sure that all of the horses had been curried thoroughly and that the girth was fastened correctly.

Daniel had been given a chestnut gelding named Charlie. In Daniel's opinion, the horse was way too tall for him, but Hill had assured him that he was the right size.

As Hill tucked on Charlie's saddle, he stopped. Daniel felt a pricking in his stomach. The professor seemed to study the horse a bit closer. “Whose horse is this?” he said, obviously having forgotten that he himself had assigned it to Daniel.

Daniel awkwardly held up his hand, “Um, it's mine, professor.” Some of the other boys giggled.

Hill crossed his arms and nodded. “I see. Well, Mr. Wilkinson, will you please come and demonstrate how you mount your horse?”

Daniel gulped, not feeling like getting near the horse at all. Owen nudged him forward, giving him a reassuring smile. He took a deep breath and walked closer to Hill and the horse.

Everett poked at Christopher. They both snickered.

Daniel stopped in front of Charlie. His eyes were calm and gentle, much like Owen's. He did not look like he could harm anyone, but Daniel bitterly reminded himself of all the stories he had heard about people being trampled to death by horses.

“Will you please, Mr. Wilkinson?” Hill urged, gesturing to the stirrup on the gelding's right side.

“Eh...” Daniel laughed nervously and brushed his hair behind his ear, “I don't actually know how to mount a horse...” Again the other boys laughed, louder this time. Daniel thought that he heard Everett's laughter clearer than the others.

“You just place your foot in the stirrup and drag yourself up,” Hill said, losing his patience, “Mount the horse, Wilkinson.”

Daniel did as he was told. He carefully put his foot in the stirrup, but was corrected by Hill to place it further back so that only the toe would have hold on it and the heel could be pressed down. He took a deep breath and lifted himself off the ground to pull himself up on the horse – only to find himself falling backwards as the saddle sled sidewards to Charlie's flank. He landed on the ground, completely stunned, while Charlie stamped in discomfort.

Now the whole class was laughing hysterically. Even Timmy and Owen couldn't contain their laughter. Professor Hill chuckled, also very amused. “Do you see, Daniel?” he said, “That is the consequence of not tightening the girth correctly. Imagine if you had been galloping down the highway and suddenly fell off the horse!”

Daniel quickly stood up again, rubbing his arms. He had not felt so embarrassed in a long time. How was he supposed to know how to tighten the girth anyway? He had never been near a horse before!

“All right, all right,” Hill laughed and gestured for the other boys to quiet down, “One of you boys, help Daniel tighten the saddle properly so we can start the class.”

All of the boys went to their respective horses. Owen and Timmy walked over to Daniel. “Come on, Dan, it could have happened to the best of us,” Timmy said encouragingly as Owen fixed the saddle. Daniel merely glared at him. That was easy enough for him to say, he hadn't just involuntarily been made the clown of the morning class.

Christopher walked up to the boys and patted Charlie on his neck, “Hey Daniel, are you all right? Professor Hill can be a bit crude at times.”

Daniel sighed and caressed the horse's soft muzzle. “I'm fine. It's just that I've never had anything to do with horses before.”

“Don't feel bad about it,” Christopher smiled, “You'll learn it! Horses are kind and loyal animals. I'm sure you'll grow fond of them in no time.”

“Hey, Daniel!” The boys turned around. Everett stood by the side of his majestic Hackney horse. “Do you want to see how one mounts their horse?” he laughed. He put his foot in the stirrup and elegantly pulled himself up on the horse with no kind of accident like that of Daniel's occurring.

Everyone laughed besides Daniel. “Come on, Everett,” Christopher said, “Don't be a jerk!” Everett smiled brightly at Daniel. He couldn't tell if it was well meant, though.

“All right, it should be safe for you to mount good ol' Charlie now,” Owen said and patted the horse's hindquarters.

Daniel smiled, “Thanks, Owen.”

“Boys, will you please mount your horses now!” Professor Hill yelled.

Daniel's friends left to take care of their own horses. He took a deep breath and placed his foot in the stirrup once again. This time, he was able to drag himself up on the horse without any problems.

* * *

Daniel felt sort of estranged from the other boys after the incident. They treated it as if it were nothing, but he wasn't fine. In spite of Everett laughing at him, they still wanted to be around him, even Owen. But it didn't matter; he didn't come to make friends with everyone anyway. Daniel decided to follow his original plan and just focus on his grades and education. He didn't want to get in trouble, and he definitely didn't want to be humiliated once again.

As Daniel walked out of the main building to go to his room, he saw the boys in the yard. He quickly hid behind the corner. “Benjamin,” Everett said, pulling at the small boy's blazer, “Tell me more about your snails.”

The boys laughed. Benjamin's big eyes looked around them, searching. Everett pushed him, a bit too harshly in Daniel's opinion. Harvey grabbed Benjamin to keep him from falling, “Whoa, there you go.”

“You don't still keep them, do you?” Christopher said, frowning.

Benjamin stepped closer to the tall boy, seeking comfort. “I do. I want to keep them always. I love them!”

Everett burst into a loud laughter. Christopher's expression changed into one of pity. “But I don't think they like being held captive, Benji. I think they would be happier if they were free. Snails are not meant to be pets.”

Benjamin looked up at Christopher with big pleading brown eyes. Timmy patted his shoulder, “I think Chris is right, Benjamin.”

Everett pushed Benjamin again in the direction of the stables. “Come, let's go set the snails free.” As the boys followed Benjamin to find the snails, Everett sent the others a look of derision. Christopher elbowed his side, and the blond rolled his eyes.

Daniel shook himself. He was glad that the boys didn't notice him. He felt so bad for Benjamin. He didn't like Everett's behaviour one bit. How he always seemed to be mocking someone weaker than himself. He tried to block out what he had just seen. Hopefully it wasn't anything worse than friendly teasing among boys.

Later in the evening Benjamin returned to their room, apparently in a good mood again. Daniel couldn't figure him out at all. Benjamin skipped in, immediately starting to change into his pyjamas. “Hello Daniel, how has your day been?”

Daniel looked up from the desk where he was doing his homework. “Um, it has been good. What about yours?” he said, tapping his pencil against his cheek.

The boy made one of his strange jumps. “It has been just wonderful, I'm glad you asked!”

Green eyes observed him with a look of doubt. “Are you sure?”

Benjamin tilted his head, obviously completely oblivious to what Daniel was referring to. “Yes, I am. Why wouldn't I be?”

Daniel shook his head and turned towards his homework again. “Never mind.”

He felt the big brown eyes stare at his back for a minute, but soon Benjamin continued to get ready for bed. As he disappeared out the door to go brush his teeth in the common bathroom, Daniel moved his focus from the sheets of paper in front of him to the moon outside the window and sighed.

* * *

Daniel wasn't pleased to find out that the Christmas vacation started just right after Hazel's birthday. He had assumed that he would be home to celebrate it with her, but there was no way that John and Henrietta would let him leave the school earlier.

It was not that he hadn't tried. He had talked to Headmaster Wallace about it, and he had said that if he could have a permission from his parents in writing with a signature, Daniel would be allowed to leave the school legally.

So Daniel wrote home in order to get one. He didn't want Hazel to be alone on her birthday. He had written in his last letter to her that he would be there. He couldn't just break his promise. Just a few days before his sister's birthday, he received his answer. He sat down by his desk and tore open the envelope to read it.

 

_My darling Daniel,_

_I realise that it is very difficult for you to be away from your sister in such a time when she is weak, but you must attend to your school. I cannot allow you to go home just because you don't want to miss out on her birthday._

_Don't feel that you are letting her down. I have talked to Hazel, and she is completely understanding of the situation. She knows just as well as you and I that your education is important._

_This is why I won't send you a permission. I hope you understand. You'll see Hazel again in a week, Daniel. You can congratulate her on her nine years then._

_Enjoy the last few days at your school._

_Best regards,_

_Henrietta Wilkinson_

 

Daniel felt his blood boil. It was bad enough that he didn't get the permission, but it was even _Henrietta_ that didn't give it to him. As if she had the authority to decide for herself if Daniel should have it or not without John's consent. He could almost hear her mocking, snobbish voice recite the letter to him.

He crumbled the paper and threw it in the dustbin. _Such trash!_

* * *

Hazel stared out of the window from her bed. It had started to snow. Everything was so bright and beautiful outside, a winter wonderland. She looked down at the letter from her brother again and sniffed. Her eyes were moist.

She knew that it was incredibly selfish of her to be sad, but she couldn't help it. She had really looked forward to seeing him again, and even if she only had to wait a few more days, it still hurt that he wasn't here on this particular day.

 

_I apologise deeply, Hazel. I couldn't get the permission. I wish you a grand birthday, and I'll see you again soon. Please enjoy your special day, I'll be thinking of you._

 

Hazel wiped her eyes. How was she supposed to enjoy it? She couldn't even move out of her room. She was having seizures again, so Doctor Barton had ordered her to stay in bed.

She felt horrible. The fever wasn't as bad any more, but she had a constant headache, and her body was hurting as if she had lesions all over it. She wished that Doctor Tate was there to check up on her instead of Barton. She liked Tate better.

Just then, the door opened and Henrietta walked inside. She carried a tray with her. “How are you feeling, Hazel?” she said.

Hazel looked up at her with a blank expression to hide that she had been crying. “I'm fine, thank you.”

Henrietta put down the tray on her bed stand. There was a cup of tea, a plate with a piece of cake, a spoon and a bottle filled with a red liquid on it. The bitter sweet smell of the liquid reached Hazel's nostrils and made them flare. Henrietta felt the young girl's forehead, “Your fever has diminished. How splendid.”

Hazel nodded softly, eyeing the medicine bottle on the tray. It wasn't laudanum.

“Please eat, sweetheart,” Henrietta said and handed her the plate.

“Thanks, Henrietta,” Hazel mumbled and took a bite of the cake. It was delicious, but she wasn't hungry. She was going to throw it out when Henrietta left.

“I know that you are disappointed that Daniel couldn't be here. But you must understand how important it is that a young man get a proper education,” Henrietta explained as she straightened one of Hazel's wild locks, “Daniel is going to be in need of it if he wants to do something with his future.”

Hazel nodded, feeling even more selfish. She wanted Daniel to have a bright future, even if that meant that he was going to miss every single one of her birthdays. Henrietta tilted her head at the small girl. She poked her nose, “Now, don't be sad. It does not suit a young lady.”

“Will I ever become a lady, Henrietta?” Hazel asked, looking up at the woman with glazed green eyes.

The madam eyed her with an appraising look, like she so often did. After a short while, she said, “Of course you will, darling.” She stood up from the bed again and walked to the door to leave the room, leaving Hazel alone.

The girl looked out the window at the falling snow. Somewhere out there, Daniel was securing a future for himself, while Hazel was just sitting here, watching her future slowly melt away, like the snowflakes outside would once it would become summer again.

* * *

It felt like it had been an eternity since Daniel had seen Hazel – and when he finally saw her again, she looked even more awful than he had feared she would. She was bound to her bed, weak and her whole body sore. She had lost weight and the colour in her face had vanished. She looked close to a corpse.

It broke Daniel's heart. He knew that it was a bad idea to be sent away from her!

“Hello Daniel,” Hazel said in an attempt to sound excited. She smiled and tried to sit up in her bed.

“Hazel, what has happened to you? You told me in the letters that it wasn't so serious!” Daniel exclaimed and sat down on the bedside. He caressed her cheek while studying her face.

Hazel put her hand over Daniel's, “Please, Daniel, not now. Give me a hug.” Daniel sighed, biting his lip. He put his arms around her and pulled her into a warm embrace.

Returning home would turn out to be even worse than just staying at the school. Yes, he could look after Hazel now that he was back in the mansion, but he never really got the chance to spend time with her. He was constantly put to work; one would think that this wasn't a vacation at all!

But he managed to sneak into her room every evening before they had to sleep and tell her fairy tales, just like back in the old days. No matter how tired he was, he would always tell her a story. The look on Hazel's face was worth every day of frustration and exhaustion. He was so happy to see her again.

* * *

The mystery of where John had been all this time was finally solved when he dragged Daniel into town. “So what do you think?” he said, placing his hands on his hips proudly, “It's amazing, isn't it?”

Daniel eyed the large space. Everything was clean and organized and brand new. Work desks, modern instruments and a lot of new materials. Everything that John could have ever needed.

John had built himself a new studio on Castle Street in the town centre. It really was perfect. This was what he had needed in all those years. A new studio to fit his needs, placed in a convenient place where a lot of customers would pass by.

But one thing rankled Daniel, though.

“Come on, say something, son.”

He looked up at his tall father. Daniel himself was starting to catch up. Hazel had been the first to point out how much he had grown – and not only in height, he also appeared to be much bigger when he embraced his petite younger sister. He was not so skinny any more.

John stroked his thick beard. It was not at all as dirty and messy as it used to be. It was groomed and washed and shaved perfectly into shape. John could have been mistaken for being part of the higher society.

But he wasn't. It was Henrietta who had the money.

Daniel eyed the new studio. “It's... It's fantastic.”

“Yes, isn't it?” John said satisfied and clapped his hands together in triumph. He walked into the studio, showing Daniel all of their new gear. “Look, a completely new grinder! And the tools, so thin and precise, do you realise just how many beautiful sculptures we'll be able to make with these? We're going to make a lot of money, Daniel, I tell you!”

Daniel watched his father ramble on and on about how great everything was. The instruments, the space, the location, the possibilities...

The money. In the end, it seemed like it all just came down to money. And that was what finally made Daniel ask what had been troubling him, “But how did you pay for it?”

John stopped in his tracks and looked at Daniel. It took a short while before he said, “Your stepmother offered me the money. What kind of question is that?” He crossed his arms.

“It's just...” Daniel moistened his lips and looked around the large new studio, “I don't think it's such a good idea to rely on her fortune too much.” The man stared at him. The tension was so thick that one could slice a knife through it. Daniel felt himself start to trip, “Father...”

Then suddenly, in three quick steps, John stood in front of him. The slap was so hard and sudden he fell to the ground. Daniel placed a hand on the left side of his face; it was burning. He had almost forgotten how it felt, the stinging pain of his father's large hand knocking him down. He bit his lip hard.

“ _ **Why are you always so ungrateful?**_ _”_ John bellowed, shoving Daniel further to the ground, “Why can't you ever just appreciate what I do for you and your good-for-nothing sister? You always question _everything!_ You should be happy that Henrietta is in our lives! You should be thankful for all that she has done for us! Stop acting like such a _**brat**_ _!_ ”

“I'm sorry!” Daniel whimpered, covering his face with his arms. He didn't want to meet the belt, not after all this time. He had finally gotten used to not fearing it. He couldn't cope with it again.

John took a deep breath, eyeing his grown son. The thin arms and legs had become longer and more muscular. The shoulders were broader and his voice had become deeper. “You're almost an adult now, Daniel,” he growled, “You should learn to show some respect.”

He grabbed Daniel's arm and pulled him up on his feet. Daniel rubbed his arms, still shivering a bit. He nodded, mumbling, “Yes, Father.”

* * *

It definitely wasn't a vacation returning home again. John decided that Daniel should help out as much as possible in the new studio. Daniel wanted to stay home and look after Hazel, but of course Henrietta said that she would take care of her. Daniel nearly commented that she obviously didn't know how, since Hazel's condition had worsened so much. But he knew that he probably wouldn't be spared from the belt this time around if he said that out loud.

When he was finally allowed time to spend at home, Henrietta would be there breathing down his neck. She probably thought that he would break something or make a mess or something like that. Always was he kept an eye on. It was frustrating; he quickly remembered why he hadn't spent so much time at home back in the summer, so little by little he returned to his old habits of staying away from the mansion as much as possible. He felt bad about leaving Hazel alone in her bedroom, but at least he told her fairy tales every evening. He hoped that she could forgive him.

He wandered around the village he used to live in. Soon he walked past the grounds where his family's old house used to be; no one wanted to buy the shabby old shed, so it had been demolished instead. The grounds were still for sale.

Daniel sighed. His mother used to tell him fairy tales on that very spot. She had told him about Hazel, the morning star that had saved the world from eternal darkness. It seemed like a faint memory now.

He continued past the grounds and walked out of the village towards the Blean. He was a bit curious to see if Henry and his friends had occupied the clubhouse yet. Henry had picked a more remote location for the haunt, which made sense since he wanted it to be a secret. It still stood there, as nice and solid as when Daniel had finished it, though snow covered its roof now. He peeked inside the single window he had left in the rightmost wall. Confusion hit him immediately.

There was nothing there. No balls, no books, no toys, not anything. It was empty.

Daniel couldn't believe it. It had been six months since he finished it. He had spent nearly two years building that clubhouse, and Henry wasn't even using it. He bit his lip hard, his body shaking with sheer anger. That Henry...

That was when he heard the sound of snow crackling. He turned around, only to be face to face with the devil himself. “Ah Wilkinson,” Henry's laughter dripped with mockery, “So you've decided to return?”

“What is this, Henry?” Daniel exclaimed, pointing at the clubhouse, “Why did I even build this?”

Henry approached Daniel, eyeing him with a look that should have warned the young boy, but he was too angry to notice. “Was it just so you could have an excuse to nag me? So that I could keep wasting my time and energy on some damned playhouse that you weren't even going to use? What is wrong with- ?”

Daniel stopped his rambling at once when Henry grabbed his collar. He spoke with a low voice, “Watch your mouth.”

Daniel didn't get the chance to answer as he was immediately thrown onto the ground. Luckily the thick layer of snow softened his landing – but there was nothing to shield him from the kick he would receive in his stomach afterwards. All the air in his lungs was knocked out of him. For a second all sound around him diminished and he only heard his own pulse pounding, faster and faster. Daniel gasped for air, the memories of his childhood hitting him like a hammer.

Henry wasn't done. He grabbed the lean boy and lifted him up again. “Do you think I'm just playing around, Daniel? Do you think that this is all just for our amusement?”

Daniel still struggled to breathe. That kick had had a great impact, and Henry tightening the collar around his throat didn't help. He grabbed Henry's wrist, but of course that made no difference either. “I've been waiting for you, Wilkinson,” Henry said through clenched teeth, “I've waited six long months for you to show your disgusting face here again. Perhaps you thought that you were too good for the old village, huh?”

Daniel shook his head vigorously. He managed to stammer out a few words, “N-no … Henry, please...” Henry punched him in the stomach. His eyes widened as the small amount of air he had regained left his lungs again.

“I'm amazed at your courage!” Henry roared, his eyes blinded by something resembling madness, “To think that you actually dared come back!”

His fist met the side of Daniel's face with an audible clash. Daniel's vision blurred. The world around him seemed to vanish in segments of red, blue and black. All he could feel was the stinging pain, a strong taste of iron lingering in his mouth.

Henry had definitely become stronger. He kept punching Daniel multiple times all over his body, not caring if he might break his bones in the process. “You sure have some guts for a coward! Just running away to some high class school, moving away from the village into a high class mansion, just leaving everyone else behind who actually deserves what you got _ **more than**_ _**you**_ _!_ ”

Daniel was thrown onto the ground again. It did not take long before a small pool of red formed underneath him in the white snow. He couldn't tell where it came from, all of his body felt numb from pain.

His former classmate did not care. As Daniel tried to crawl away, he was merely kicked onto the ground again, struck in the ribs this time. “You – ungrateful – _bastard!_ ” Henry yelled between each and every kick he served the younger boy, “You – don't – deserve -!”

“Did she hurt you again, Henry ...?”

It was nothing more than a soft murmur, but Henry heard it clearly. He stopped in his tracks, breathing heavily as he stared at the bruised figure lying in the snow.

Daniel didn't look up at Henry. He stared out between the trees at nothing, his whole body shivering. He felt metallic tasting liquid drip down his chin, but he didn't make an effort to wipe it away.

“What did you say?”

The silence in the forest was deafening.

He coughed a bit before continuing with a hoarse voice, “It was your mother again... Wasn't it?” He closed his eyes and prepared himself for what was to come.

But it didn't come. After a few seconds of nothing happening, Daniel opened his eyes again and looked up at Henry. The tall blond boy was shaking violently. He bit his bottom lip hard. Daniel felt his whole body turn cold when he noticed the tears streaming down his face.

Henry finally snapped, “YOU KNOW _**NOTHING**_ _!_ ” Daniel received a last aggressive kick that he could feel all the way into his core. Then Henry turned around and ran away, leaving the beaten boy to bleed in the snow.

* * *

There was a lot of noise downstairs. Henrietta and John's guests had showed up. Voices could be heard all the way up through the closed door to Hazel's bedroom.

Daniel flinched by the sting. Hazel drew the cotton pad back, frowning. “Keep still, Danny, else I'll never get you cleaned up.”

The boy was currently not wearing anything else but his trousers. His whole body was bruised after the meeting with Henry; the bleeding had stopped the previous day, but the wounds still needed to be cleaned up a bit. Henrietta could not have Daniel attend the Christmas dinner looking like a beaten dog who had just returned home from a fight in the alley.

Daniel let out a sarcastic chuckle. “It's all right, Hazel. I don't really feel like joining the dinner anyway…”

Hazel gave him a stern look and crossed her arms, “Don't be like that, Daniel! You should enjoy the dinner for the both of us!” He looked at his little sister with a small grin, unable to take that grave look on her face seriously. She pouted and slapped his arm, “Don't laugh at me!”

“I'm sorry, Hazel,” Daniel said as he stifled his laughter, “It's just... There's no reason for me to even be there. I don't know anyone, and I don't want you to just lie here all alone on Christmas Eve…” He moved his gaze to Hazel's duvet, his smile fading.

The small girl smiled gently and reached for a new cotton pad, “Don't worry about me, Daniel. I'll be fine.”

“But you're not fine,” Daniel pressed on, his eyes filled with concern, “You're so weak that you can't even attend the dinner with everyone else!”

Hazel avoided his gaze as she wetted the cotton pad with alcohol, “If I attend the dinner, I won't ever be fine...”

Daniel bit his lip as she started cleaning the wound on his temple again. It stung incredibly. The siblings kept silent while Hazel dabbed the cotton pad on it. When she finally drew back and reached for the cloth in the bowl of hot water, Daniel said, “I don't think that you'll ever be fine if you stay in here.”

Hazel looked at Daniel. “Then why did you keep me locked up for so many years?” she said quietly.

Daniel didn't answer. He looked blankly at his younger sister, feeling nothing but a pain that didn't originate from one of the many gashes on his body.

Her bottom lip started to quiver. “Daniel...” she whispered, but she was interrupted.

The bedroom door opened. John looked at his two children, a hand placed on his hip. “Daniel, haven't you even changed yet? Get some clothes on, the dinner starts now!”

Daniel hesitated for a moment, but then nodded and stood up from Hazel's bed. “I'm sorry, Father. I'll get dressed now.” He looked back at Hazel one last time. Hazel did her best to bite the tears back as he turned around and left the room without a word.

* * *

Daniel didn't want to stay at home at all. It was unbearable to be there. Everywhere he went in the mansion, there would be nothing but scolding, reprimanding or questioning, and he couldn't even look Hazel in the eyes any more. Luckily he had something else to focus his energy on.

He had picked a location even more solitary than Henry's haunt. It was placed far back into the Blean woods, almost out where Canterbury ended and Faversham started. It would take a while to walk there, but at least no one would find it.

He put the toolbox and the wooden boards down and looked around at the place. It was a small clearing, but it was large enough. He might even be able to make it bigger than the first one he had built.

Daniel sighed and picked one of the wooden boards. He checked his blueprint before measuring the board. Then he picked the saw and started to cut the wood.

He spent the rest of his Christmas vacation out in the Blean, getting started on his project for Serena.

 


	15. Ladies and Gentlemen

**1833**

Daniel felt happy when he returned to the school. It seemed like a long time ago that he had longed to go back to the mansion; he felt much more at home here beside the Canterbury Cathedral. Even the rambling and snoring of Benjamin didn't bother him as much any more. As long as Daniel was safe and far away from Henry, Henrietta and John, he was glad.

He was already halfway finished with the foundation of the house he had started to build in the Christmas vacation. Daniel had to admit that he was quite proud of himself; he had gotten better with the craft. It was starting to become a routine. But the whole time he was building, he couldn't stop thinking about the receiver of the gift - he hadn't gotten a letter from Serena at all since she went back to London. He was a bit worried. Maybe she had lost the address of his school. He pondered if he should send her a letter first, but refrained from the idea. Serena always sent the first letter.

Everything went back to normal quickly. Daniel still kept his distance from the other boys, and luckily they didn't seem to notice. Even Owen had apparently forgotten about his and Daniel's bonding back in the autumn half term.

Daniel woke up in the middle of the night after being half asleep for some two hours. The candle was still burning. Benjamin was grunting as usual; he lay on his back with his limbs spread out as if he was in the middle of performing a jumping jack, his mouth wide open.

Daniel sat up, rubbing his eyes. Slowly he got out of bed, grabbed the candle and went out into the hallway.

Everything was quiet. Daniel navigated down the hallway of the dorm till he reached the door leading to the courtyard. He quietly opened it and went outside to find the outhouse. It was not a long way from the main buildings. When he had finished his business, he went to go to his room again.

As he crossed the courtyard, he suddenly noticed the voices. He heard whispering and muffled laughter, the sound of footsteps in the gravel. Daniel frowned, suddenly feeling a lot more awake. He tiptoed through the rubble past the dorm building and peeked around the corner to where the churchyard of the cathedral was situated.

Five figures strolled away in direction of the church gates leading to the Buttermarket, two a great deal taller than the rest of them. The lanterns in the cemetery revealed their faces. “Come on, Harvey,” Timmy laughed, patting the back of his shorter friend, “You're going to have a little drink, whether you like it or not!”

Christopher and Everett put an arm around each other's shoulders, Christopher sighing, “I've missed the ladies.”

“I'm sure they've missed you too, Chris,” Owen said, and the group of boys laughed.

Daniel saw them disappear through the gates, feeling as if he had just witnessed a scandalous crime. He shook himself and hurried back to the dormitory.

* * *

Daniel couldn't help but be reminded of what he had seen the previous night as the boys sat down by the morning table. Owen took a seat beside him, acting completely calm as if he hadn't just sneaked out the other night and broken the school rules. “Good morning, Daniel,” Owen smiled, putting his plate with bread and butter down on the table.

The other eyed him suspiciously, “I assume it was a good night as well?”

Owen gazed at him, looking like a big question mark. “Pardon?”

Daniel sighed, leaning closer to the boy. “I saw you last night,” he said, his voice a whisper, “You and Everett and the others. Where in heavens did you go?”

Owen's eyes widened – and then he laughed. “Oh, you should have been there, Daniel!” he chuckled, though also keeping his voice down, “It was so much fun!”

“I don't believe we're allowed to leave the school grounds at night!” Daniel hissed, hoping to make Owen see his point.

Owen merely waved his hand in a dismissive gesture, “Ah, what the old professors don't know won't harm them!”

He couldn't believe what his schoolmate was saying. He stared at him, almost accusatory, “I wasn't aware that you went to fool around with girls while in _school!_ ”

“Don't be such a mood killer, Daniel,” Owen said, taking a bite of his roll, “You should come with us! It's really lively out in the town at night!”

“Thanks for the offer, but I must decline,” Daniel said as he finished his tea. He gave Owen a stern look, “And I suggest you try to keep out of such activities, too.” He turned to focus his attention on his own breakfast again. He felt Owen's eyes on him for a short while, but then he turned towards some of the other boys and started conversing with them instead.

* * *

Daniel finally received a letter from Serena in February. It was about time, he was really starting to worry that she might have lost the address. When the mail had been dealt among the boys, Daniel immediately hurried to his room; he sat down by the desk, broke the seal and tore open the envelope. Biting his lip in anticipation, he started to read.

 

_My loving Daniel,_

_I apologise for not writing you sooner. Believe me, I have thought of you each and every day, but I have just been so busy! I will explain._

_You know how my mother fusses over me because I am becoming a woman. I am finally reaching a suitable age to join ballrooms and attend grand dinners, is that not just exciting? You will not believe how much attention I receive. All of Father's friends comment on how lovely I am. They say I have such good manners and a pretty face, just like Mother. I think my face is glued still in a smile for all the times I have blushed at a compliment!_

_Miss Farrell and I have gone through the dance steps so many times now, I don't think I'll ever be able to forget how to dance the quadrille. The corners of my mouth are hurting, my feet are hurting and my ribcage is protesting against the tightness of the corsage, but I have never been so happy!_

_The best part is that so many men flock around me, standing in line to have the next dance at every single ball. And many of them are so charming, Daniel! They treat me so well. I never thought that I could attract the attention of real gentlemen, but here I am! Mother is so proud, I can tell! I am not old enough to get engaged, though. It will still be a while. Even Regina hasn't found a suitable husband yet, can you believe that?_

_I do not feel ugly any more, I do not feel like I am as horrible and disgusting as all those girls back at the school told me. It's hard to feel that way when multiple young, and might I say handsome, men tell you that you're stunning every single evening! Who knows, I might already find myself a suitor soon enough. Would that not be lovely, Daniel? A tall handsome gentleman perfect for me! I swoon by the mere thought._

_Now you know why I haven't written you earlier. I am sorry, but as you have probably realised by now, I have been so very busy. I can only hope that you are doing as good as me at your new school, for I must say that I am feeling splendid at the moment!_

_With much love,_

_Serena da Silva_

 

Daniel moistened his lips and brushed his long brown hair behind his ear, tapping the desk with his fingers. Something was odd. He didn't feel so excited, and it wasn't only because he hadn't been doing as good as Serena had. In fact, it had nothing to do with that at all. Under normal circumstances, he would have been elated to hear that she was so happy.

But something in the actual letter disheartened him.

 

_The best part is that so many young men flock around me._

_Multiple handsome men tell me that I'm stunning every single evening!_

_Who knows, I might already find myself a suitor soon enough. Would that not be lovely, Daniel?_

 

For some reason Daniel didn't think that to be very lovely. It didn't sit well with him. Who were these gentlemen? How old were they? Were they really as well mannered as they made Serena think? He didn't trust it one bit. Serena thought that they were all so very charming and handsome. She had never told Daniel that he was handsome. It bothered Daniel more than it should.

He clenched his teeth and swallowed. His fingers were shaking a little bit, craving to just tear something apart, anything. But Daniel didn't tear Serena's letter. He slammed the paper down on the desk instead and stood up, pacing back and forth in the narrow room while being unable to figure out what to do with his hands. At last he stopped dead in his tracks in the middle of the small space, placing his hands on his hips and taking a deep breath to quell his nerves. This wouldn't do.

Daniel looked at the letter on the desk again, contemplating. He would have to answer her at some point. He picked it up, skimming through it once more. As he read those lines again, his hands involuntarily curled into tight fists, his knuckles whitening. He made a decision.

* * *

Owen went through the main building. He was supposed to meet Harvey in just a minute, but not before he had left his books back in his room.

He walked quickly through the school yard, headed for the dormitory building. As he stepped inside and skipped down the hallway, he was suddenly grabbed by the arm. He spun around with a surprised look on his face.

“I'll go with you. If the offer still stands?”

Owen smiled widely, his warm brown eyes glinting. “Of course it still stands!” he said, patting his friend's shoulder, “I'm glad you came around!”

Daniel nodded with a slightly strained smile. If Serena was out meeting handsome gentlemen, then why shouldn't Daniel have some fun with the ladies?

* * *

Benjamin was snoring as loudly as ever. Daniel stared at the skinny boy. He was lying on his stomach, limbs hanging down from the bedside and mouth open wide. A little bit of drool even dripped down his chin. He turned his gaze to the burning candle. He had almost just lit it, but only to chase the darkness away. He was not going to sleep tonight.

The clock ticked. Five minutes to midnight. Daniel sighed. It was time.

He slowly sat up in bed, keeping an eye on his room mate. The boy grunted a bit, but did not move. He proceeded to put his feet down on the floor, as silently as possible. Still no movement from Benjamin. Daniel wondered how the other boys managed to sneak out of their rooms unnoticed. He didn't know if there were any secret passageways in the school. He was just going to do it the old-fashioned way.

He bit his lip in concentration as he pulled on his trousers, all the while keeping an eye on his sleeping room mate. He didn't know why he was so nervous; Benjamin wouldn't wake up, even if the whole of Canterbury was being bombed. But still, he wouldn't risk anything – especially not when he was about to do something as outrageous as breaking the school rules.

After having put on his clothes, he grabbed the candle and proceeded over to the door. Just as Daniel grabbed the door handle, Benjamin suddenly shot his arm up in the air, “Stop!”

Daniel froze in his spot and stared at the boy. The arm stayed erected, a finger pointing up as if Benjamin was about to say something important. A moment passed. Benjamin then turned in his bed to lie faced towards the wall. Daniel heard him mumble a few interesting words in his sleep before everything fell silent, “... In the name … of everything stinky...”

Daniel stood still in front of the door, his hand still on the door handle. He held his breath, waiting to see if the other boy would move again and bust him on his way out of the room, but nothing happened. Benjamin had merely been talking in his sleep.

He moistened his lips and closed his eyes, trying to calm his nerves. Then he turned the door handle and silently made his way down the hallway of the dorm to meet up with the others.

* * *

“Good grief! What are you bringing that candle for? It'll get us caught!” Everett complained.

Daniel suddenly felt very small. He looked at the burning candle in his hands.

Christopher laughed and put his large hand on Daniel's shoulders, “Come on, Everett, give him a break. Without it, he would never stand a chance navigating the school grounds by himself!”

That wasn't true. Daniel could navigate the school grounds fine, but he just didn't like walking around when it was dark. He was not about to tell the others that, though. “All right, all right,” Everett waved his hand in annoyance, “Let's just get going, shall we?”

Timmy put his arm around Daniel's shoulders, jumping up and down. Daniel suspected that he might have eaten too much sugar before going to bed. “Daniel, it's going to be so much fun! It's so great that you're coming with us!”

Daniel forced a smile, not feeling quite sure if he had made the right decision, but it was too late to back down now. The whole group of boys was already outside the cathedral, moving down Burgate. He blew out the candle and put it away in his jacket.

Owen had not been kidding. There was a greater commotion in the streets the further they moved down town. There were groups of grown men standing outside bars, laughing and conversing with drinks in their hands. Daniel wondered how the students of King's School were even able to sleep with so much going on right outside the gates. He shook himself, not feeling comfortable at all. He was not supposed to be here, and neither were the others. They were far from being old enough.

“Please, guys... You know I'm no good at handling the alcohol,” Harvey said, blushing as the others laughed.

Owen nudged him in his side, “That is exactly why you should drink!”

Christopher looked around the streets, a big grin on his face. He seemed very comfortable in this environment. “I see our third home! McFadden Pub, here we come!”

Daniel turned his gaze to look where Christopher was pointing. A big sign over a large door read _McFadden_. A lot of men in nice coats were gathered outside, young as well as old. Daniel wondered if he and the boys were even allowed in there, but it seemed that they had been there before.

He didn't really listen to what the boys were talking about. He followed them into the pub silently, like a ghost observing everything around him. The light was dim; a few lanterns hung from the ceiling, purposely dulled to fit the mood. It was crowded. Both ladies and gentlemen filled the space, laughing, drinking, dancing. Everything was loud and obscure.

Daniel suddenly noticed that he was about to get lost from the boys in the mass. He hurried after them. Everett settled by the bar, laying a pouch on the desk. “All right, give me six jugs of your Irish beer, mate!” he bellowed. Owen put an arm around Daniel's neck, cheering along with the others.

The man behind the desk eyed them suspiciously. He was tall and broad, had no hair on his head and only one eye open; there was a scar over the other. Daniel couldn't help but wonder what had happened to it. He poured each of the boys a large glass of the alcohol, and Everett dealt it between the boys. Daniel was overwhelmed by the size of the glass; would he even be able to lift it to his mouth?

“Drink up, guys!” Christopher said and lifted his jug in a toast, “It's going to be a long night, and we need fuel!” The group cheered. Even Harvey looked excited to swallow it down, despite having protested against the idea the whole evening.

Daniel joined the toast, miraculously able to lift the drink. As he watched the others jug it down, he felt a moment of doubt. He had seen his father drink beer many times; he had seen how it affected him. He had become violent and ignorant. Daniel did not want to end up like that.

But then he looked at the others. They looked happy and satisfied. Besides, there were no violent men in the pub. They all held a glass, but none of them did other than laugh and have a good time. He closed his eyes and took a big gulp. It was cold and fizzy and had a bitter taste, but it was surprisingly refreshing. Not half bad.

“Do you like it, Daniel?” Timmy said and patted his shoulder. Daniel swallowed and nodded. The bitterness of the drink made him grimace, but he forced a smile.

“It's so bad for me, yet it's so good,” Harvey sighed, clutching his glass, “Oh, the melancholy, the forbidden fruit...”

“All right, maybe he's had too much already,” Owen said and flicked Harvey's nose, causing the others to laugh. Even Daniel couldn't help himself from chuckling.

Christopher put down his cup. It was already half finished. “What do you say we hit the dance floor? I want to find myself a dame!” he said and winked.

Everett grabbed his friend's shoulder and pointed across the room. “That fine woman has been looking over here for ages now. Someone should ask her to dance.”

Daniel looked in the direction he was pointing. Sure enough, there was a very good looking woman; her hair was copper red and pinned up with many small hair clips. She was wearing a lovely dress that showed off her waist and bust nicely. The only problem Daniel could pinpoint about the woman right now was that she was exactly that – a _woman_. “Isn't she too old for you, Christopher?” he asked, frowning.

Christopher sent him a glance and raised an eyebrow. “Are you suggesting something, Dan?”

Daniel blushed, not entirely sure what he meant. “W-what? No!”

The others looked at each other as if they all knew exactly what each were thinking. Daniel looked around at them in confusion, jumping slightly when Everett put an arm around his shoulders. “I think that we owe you the honour, Daniel,” he said with a sly smile, “You need to be … _initiated_.”

Daniel's eyes widened. _“Initiated?”_ Timmy and Harvey looked at each other with gleeful eyes. Owen bit his bottom lip. Christopher also looked as if something very interesting was about to happen, but the expression on Everett's face was the one that disturbed Daniel the most. “What does that mean, exactly?” he asked, not quite sure if he wanted to know the answer.

Everett sent the others a glance, then turned to Daniel again. “Ask the lady to dance, Danny.”

Daniel nearly choked on his beer. “I can't do that!”

“Why not?” Everett said, looking profoundly shocked. The others chuckled.

The boy turned around to look at the woman again. She was chatting with some of her female friends, still glancing over at the group from time to time. He wondered if she knew how old they were. “I…” Daniel struggled to find the words, nervousness crippling at him. He looked at Everett again, “She'll probably refuse!”

They all laughed. “You really need to work on your self esteem, Daniel,” Owen said.

“You're handsome, you know,” Harvey nodded, “Give yourself some credit.”

Everett nudged at his side, still eyeing the pretty woman at the other end of the pub. “And I think she agrees,” he said, a wry grin apparent on his face, “She's waiting for you.”

Daniel looked over in her direction again. It did seem that she was stealing glances at him. They locked eyes for a moment, but he couldn't bring himself to keep looking. He stared down at his feet, feeling like a fool.

“Come on, Daniel!” Christopher said and shoved him in her direction, “Go for it!” Daniel looked at the others. They stared at him, anticipative like a bunch of puppies. He had no choice.

He moistened his lips and turned around. The woman had separated from her friends and was taking a sip of her drink. Her glass was much smaller than his, much more elegant; much more fit for a lady. Daniel took a deep breath and approached her with something he hoped was determination in his steps. It could have just been panic and adrenalin, though.

She had seen him. Her eyes sparkled, but she quickly averted her gaze to the floor, pretending to be coy despite it being obvious that it was just an act. Daniel swallowed and mentally scolded himself. Why couldn't he be calm about it? A real man didn't become nervous around ladies. A real man made the ladies nervous instead.

It was hard to move through the crowd of drunk people, but he managed. As he got closer, he finally saw her face clearly. She wasn't _incredibly_ beautiful; she was pretty average, but pretty nonetheless. Her nose was a bit crooked, her lips full and her eyes deep blue.

At last he stood before her. He noticed to his surprise that he was actually taller than her, but it didn't make him feel better; it seemed that the words were stuck in his throat. Luckily she said something first, “Hello, big boy, what are you doing here?”

For some reason, the way she addressed him made him feel even more nervous. It sounded crude and foul … as if she didn't have any self-respect. At least it pushed him to actually say something. “I… I came to ask you to dance,” he said, his voice slightly higher than he would have liked.

She smiled, her eyes scanning him up and down. He didn't like it. It reminded him of how Henrietta always eyed him suspiciously with those cold eyes of hers, though this definitely was a bit more positive set. “I would love to,” she said with a voice as sweet as syrup. She took his hand and dragged him with her out onto the dance floor.

Daniel felt victorious. He looked back to see if the others were watching, but to his surprise only Harvey and Timmy were still standing by the bar, and they weren't even looking his way. Timmy made large movements with several of his limbs, and Harvey looked as if he was sleeping with his eyes open. They had probably already gotten too much.

He turned his attention to the woman before him again. She put her hand on his shoulder, and he instantly remembered the time when he had danced with Serena. She had told him to place his left hand on the waist, for the right hand should lead the lady.

The small orchestra started a new melody. Instantly she spun around, and Daniel lost all control. He wasn't sure what he was doing, but he definitely wasn't leading the lady – she was rather leading him.

The music was fast. Everything seemed to be spinning around, the room disappearing in a blur. Her face lit up; she looked happy and anticipative. Daniel didn't know why she was happy. He just felt dizzy. Then, all of a sudden, it was all over. His legs felt like jelly. He grabbed a bit tightly on to her waist in an attempt to stay grounded, but she misunderstood his intentions and leaned forward. Daniel couldn't help but notice the prominent cleavage.

Before her lips could meet his, he leaned back. “Um, what is your name?”

She stopped in her tracks. For a moment she didn't say anything, but then she gave him a sceptical look, “You want to know my _name?”_

Daniel frowned in confusion, but nodded. She stuck her tongue in her mouth cavity, eyeing him up and down once again. “So that's how we play, is it?” He didn't know what she meant by that, and fortunately he didn't have to answer. A new song had already begun, but they did not start to dance. “My name is Rosetta,” she said briefly, “You can't have my last name, and I don't want to know yours.”

Daniel raised his eyebrows. He didn't understand why she was being so brash, but he decided to try and change the subject, “Oh, Rosetta. I understand.” Rosetta frowned at him. He gestured to her head, “Like your hair, right?”

She rolled her eyes. “All right, this is getting boring. Have a nice life, pumpkin,” she said, afterwards turning on her heel and walking away. It only took a moment before she was gone in the crowd.

Daniel was dumbfounded. He had just chased a woman away merely by asking her name. That was so sad that it was almost hilarious. He stood for a moment, contemplating what to do. People around him were having a good time, and frankly he was just taking up space on the dance floor. He couldn't just stand there like some other idiot. He sighed and began making his way back to the bar.

Harvey had finally fallen asleep. His jug was nearly empty, but Daniel didn't know if it was his first, second or even third. Timmy had also gone silent; he rested his chin in his palm and stared out at nothing, seemingly lost in his own world.

Owen had returned to the others. He stood by the desk and ordered another glass of beer. Daniel wondered how much the boy could manage. He hadn't even finished his first glass himself, yet he felt light-headed already! Owen turned around and smiled as he saw Daniel approach them. “Hey you! Did you have fun with your lady?” he grinned, offering some of his glass.

Daniel took a sip of the foaming liquid. “It was … interesting.”

He didn't ask any more about it. Instead he pointed out to the dance floor. “Look, it seems like Christopher and Everett found themselves some damsels, too!”

Daniel turned around. It took a while before he recognised his two friends. Christopher was out on the dance floor; he had a good hold on a young lady, definitely a lot younger than the one they sent Daniel at. Everett was in one of the corners, surrounded by multiple girls who also looked too young to be in a place like this.

Where did these girls come from? Were they of wealthy or poor families? High-class or middle-class? Daniel couldn't determine it. They looked quite exquisite in their dresses, but they behaved crude and obscene like the beggars in the gutter. He really couldn't imagine Serena behaving like that, or even be allowed to join such a party. He turned towards Owen, “Do you actually know any of these people?”

Owen shook his head, still looking out at the crowd. “I'm the worst to ask. I'm not from the area, and new people come here every night!” That was a good point.

“But…” Daniel hesitated, not sure if he wanted say what was on his mind.

“What is it?” Owen said, tilting his head.

“Those girls… Are they prostitutes?”

Owen pursed his lips and looked back at the crowd. He studied the ladies in the pub, pondering Daniel's words. “Not all of them,” he finally said, “Some of them might be, but then they're here with one of the gentlemen. This is a bar, not a brothel.”

The younger boy sighed. “I think the woman I danced with was one,” he mumbled, “I bet Everett did it on purpose.”

“Now, don't jump to conclusions!” Owen laughed and nudged Daniel's side, “I'm sure Everett had no idea. But why would you think such a thing anyway?” His brown eyes widened, “Did you go all the way already?”

Daniel frantically shook his head. “No, of course not! She was just … very eager.”

Owen relaxed and smiled, “As we told you earlier, you're a handsome guy, Daniel.” He looked out to the dance floor. Daniel followed his gaze, noticing that Christopher and his lass had disappeared. He wondered if they had gone to somewhere more private to do ... carnal acts.

“What about those, Dan?”

Daniel looked up at where Owen was pointing. Out on the floor was a group of girls. They were probably still a little older than Daniel and Owen, but they were definitely a more suitable age and seemed to be more decent than Rosetta. Also, they were very charming. Owen turned his gaze to Daniel. “We can go together,” he said and grinned, “I want one, too!”

Daniel laughed, feeling a little better. He felt more confident when talking to Owen; he supported and encouraged him, even if he got distracted sometimes. All in all, Owen seemed like a really loyal, dependable lad. He nodded, “All right, then. But no more than dancing!”

Owen shook his head with a wry smile as they started to make their way over to the pretty ladies, leaving a smashed Harvey and Timmy behind at the bar. “Dancing is merely the first act, Daniel!”

 


	16. The Stallion

Daniel felt horrible the next day. When he sat down for breakfast in the dining hall, he had only slept for three hours and he had a terrible headache. But still he couldn't help but grin as Owen sat down beside him and he was reminded of the previous night.

After the evening out on town, Daniel had earned himself the boys' respect. They wanted him to go with them every time they were off from class or went out to town. The nightly visits to McFadden Pub were not happening often, though, as they couldn't risk getting caught.

He stayed at the school for the half term in February. There was nothing to return to the mansion for; Hazel had not written him since their argument back in the Christmas vacation, and she was the only reason he ever wanted to go home. Of course it was too bad that he couldn't continue his work on Serena's gift, but since she was so busy with all the other men, she probably wouldn't even care what he did for her anyway. He still hadn't answered her letter.

Owen also stayed for the half term as usual. Unfortunately they couldn't sneak out because the professors kept a more watchful eye over the few students that didn't go home for the vacation, but they managed to have a good time anyway – much like the first half term they had spent together.

He got better at riding the horse, and the others didn't laugh at him any more. In fact, he soon became a natural, and was praised plenty by both Hill and the other professors and students. Even Headmaster Wallace had made his compliments to him.

As Daniel became more and more popular, Everett began challenging him in various disciplines – in good spirits, of course. The challenges varied from something as simple as calculating a sum in mathematics, to a horse race or swimming in the nearby lake despite the cold weather.

Daniel soon realised that Everett didn't appreciate losing, though, so he let him win most times and didn't mind Everett boasting about it afterwards. It was all just for fun, after all. Ironically, Everett caught a bad cold after jumping into the pond.

Besides Owen, Daniel also got closer to the other boys. He found that he connected well with Harvey. They often spent afternoons together, helping each other with assignments and homework. Timmy usually tagged along, trying his best to understand the difficult equations and flowery poems, but his mind was ever so evanescent, so he couldn't stay focused on anything for too long.

Things seemed to get better. Daniel didn't know what was going on in neither London or at home, and he was content with that. He figured he didn't really want to know. He knew it was really quite selfish of him, but he was happy right now and that was all that mattered. When he was having fun with the others, he could forget about the bad things for a while. He finally felt like he was accepted. He had never had any friends – other than Serena, of course, but she didn't count. She was a girl.

As things finally got back on track and the air got warmer, Daniel thought that his mood couldn't possibly get any higher – but that was until he finally received a letter from Hazel. She asked Daniel to return home this Easter; she missed him so dearly. So he did.

It had been four months since he had seen his room on the second floor with the view of the humble backyard that was kept by Henrietta's gardeners. The room was clean and tidied, actually almost empty due to most of his belongings being in the room he shared with Benjamin back at the school.

He had immediately gone to Hazel's room when he returned home to the mansion. At least she was looking better; some of the colour had returned to her face, but she was still weak. Her health went up and down, it was impossible to know if she was making any progress. It felt like a slap to Daniel's face whenever she suddenly leaped back and got a seizure again. She was very exhausted all the time even though she did nothing but lie in bed all day. When she saw him, she sat right up, more awake than she had been for months, and began apologising to her heart's content. Daniel merely hugged her and told her not to say any more. Finally everything was fine again.

Hazel seemed very disoriented and drowsy throughout all of their short conversation; sometimes she didn't pick up on what Daniel told her, and he had to repeat himself. He asked her if she was feeling all right and if she was hurting anywhere, but Hazel merely told him with a content smile that she didn't feel a thing.

After they had talked for a while, Daniel left her to sleep because he could tell that she was becoming more light-headed as the time went by. He feared that she might have another seizure if she didn't rest. When she was sleeping, her lungs at least seemed to give her a break.

Now he was back in his room, sitting by the desk. He hadn't unpacked yet. The bags, he had brought from the school, were piled neatly on his bed. He still felt some discomfort when reading Serena's letter. It had taken him four months to even look at it again. That was a long time. He usually replied to her letters immediately.

Truthfully, he didn't know quite how to respond. He didn't even know how he felt about what she had told him. He wanted to congratulate her, but found that it would be dishonest. He couldn't pretend to be happy for her; that would be like lying, and he would never lie to Serena. He tapped the pencil against his cheek while he thought. It shouldn't be this hard. He began writing once again.

 

_Dearest Serena,_

_I am glad to hear that you are doing better._

 

That was not a lie.

 

_I must, too, excuse myself for not having replied to you sooner. I've also been busy with the new school and whatnot._

_I think it is great that you receive attention and compliments, but I want you to be careful. How old are these men? What do you even know about them? They might be telling every girl attending that they are the most beautiful in the room. I don't think you should trust..._

 

He stopped himself. It began to sound like he was jealous. It seemed that he couldn't address her being the new centre of attention without sounding overly sceptical. Daniel crumbled the paper with a frustrated groan and threw it in the dustbin to the rest of the discarded letters. He couldn't continue like this. He grabbed a new piece of paper with a clear idea of what he was going to write this time.

 

_Dearest Serena,_

_I must, too, excuse myself for not having replied to you sooner. I've also been busy with the new school and whatnot. You know how I hated the idea of attending the King's School, but I've actually grown quite fond of it._

_I already met my group of friends on the first day. They were very kind and invited me in at once. I have not experienced such acceptance earlier. Not from others than you and Hazel, at least. The education is much more thorough and superior. I have even learned how to ride a horse. Honestly, it feels more like a vacation here than being at home. I don't have to worry about as much. And most importantly, I can avoid Henrietta here._

_It is good to hear that you are doing better in London. I miss you. I really long for the summer vacation._

_Yours faithfully,_

_Daniel J. Wilkinson_

 

He looked it over quickly, then nodded to himself and folded the letter. He had decided not to mention anything about his qualms. It was better that way. If he sounded too sceptical, she might misunderstand or even get angry with him, and that would not lead anywhere other than to heartache.

Daniel stood up from the desk and took Serena's letter. Crouching down beside his bedside table, he picked loose one of the wooden boards on the floor. With a little force it yielded, revealing underneath it a small safekeeping containing all of Serena's earlier letters and the small gifts she had brought Daniel. He folded the letter and carefully placed it in the cache. It was well stocked up. Daniel had discovered the loose board by accident when he first moved in and organised his room. It was the perfect place to hide all of Serena's letters.

Daniel placed the board back on the floor, only just fitting it in between the other boards before the door suddenly shot open and he bolted up in shock. Henrietta stopped in her tracks, raising a sharp brow and eyeing Daniel suspiciously with a look as stern as a hawk's. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing,” Daniel answered hastily, removing himself from the hidden safe as to not attract any attention to it, “What is it?”

The lady narrowed her eyes in sceptical thought, scanning the rest of the room. Daniel held his breath. He hated the tension that always filled him when he was around this woman. She literally radiated cold air. She was like an ice queen, only worse. When Henrietta had decided with herself that nothing was out of the ordinary, she gathered herself and gestured to Daniel's bed, “Have you not even unpacked yet? You arrived hours ago!”

“I've been busy,” Daniel muttered.

“Oh, well. No matter. I want you to get yourself and your sister ready, the family is going for a walk on the countryside,” Henrietta said while studying herself in the mirror hanging in Daniel's room, fixing up loose strands of her tight bun.

Daniel frowned. “But… Hazel is sleeping!”

“Then wake her up!” Henrietta turned to look at Daniel again, placing a hand on her narrow hips, “She needs to get some fresh air once in a while! You should not keep her locked up all day, Daniel, that certainly cannot be healthy.”

She hit a nerve right there. Daniel felt his jaw tighten and his fists curl.

Henrietta didn't seem to notice. She gave him a smile, one Daniel found to be very irritating, and turned around to leave the room. “We'll be going in twenty minutes.”

* * *

Hazel didn't object to the idea. She merely got out of bed and let Daniel help her get dressed. She had gotten a whole closet filled with pretty dresses from Henrietta, which she rarely got to use. Daniel, too, had received a completely new wardrobe; their father figured that his children should look presentable now that they were part of the slightly finer society.

The air was fresh and cooling in the warm sun. It was quite the change from the previous couple of weeks; it had been raining furiously all over England. Daniel and Hazel were walking a fair distance in front of Henrietta and John, holding each other's hands. They could hear the chattering and laughter of their parents, and the few superior servants tagging along.

Daniel had to admit that it was nice walking around the rural area like this. It was a lovely day, and it felt good to see and breathe in the nature. He could also tell that they were nearing the old village, and even though he was afraid he might run into Henry, he was also happy to see the where place he grew up again.

Hazel kept asking questions about his new school, and Daniel told her all about Owen and the others – but left out the details about their nights out on town. He suspected it would be better to keep a low profile. In the distance a small farm appeared. Both Daniel and Hazel recognised it at once. “Daniel!” Hazel peeped happily, “Look, it's Mr. Philips and Elizabeth!”

Mr. Philips walked across the courtyard in front of the stables, leading a beautiful brown mare in direction of the pen. He stopped in his tracks as he noticed the siblings coming his way. He smiled and waved, yelling to his wife, “Norah! Look who's here!”

A plump woman with a kind face and bright red cheeks came out from the main house onto the porch. She frowned at first, but once she caught sight of them her face lit up and she came running down the porch steps, “Oh, my darlings! How are you?” Hazel let go of Daniel's hand and ran to Mrs. Philips, who received her with widespread arms. Daniel chuckled, following along in a light jog.

Mr. Philips and his horse came walking their way, too. He stopped in front of the porch, dragging a hand through his coarse red hair, and laughed. “I have not seen you kids around for a while. Mrs. Philips has missed your helping hands, Hazel!”

Hazel's face immediately broke into a bright smile. She skipped over to Mr. Philips and patted the horse's strong neck. “Hello, Lizzie,” she said, “You look pretty today.” Elizabeth snorted and nudged Hazel's shoulder gently with her muzzle. Hazel giggled at the affectionate gesture. Daniel found it ironic that Hazel all this time had been more comfortable around horses than him – and he was the older brother.

“Hazel, you simply have to taste my newly baked cookies,” Mrs. Philips chattered, placing her hand on Hazel's back, “It's my new recipe!”

Hazel flashed her a bright smile, “Of course! I'm sure they will be as delicious as always, Mrs. Philips!”

“And while the ladies attend to the kitchen,” Mr. Philips chuckled, “You can come with me and meet my young colt, Daniel. I've bred him myself. He's a real champion, I'm sure you will be impressed.”

Daniel nodded with a smile, “Certainly. I would be delighted to.”

Mrs. Philips and Hazel had already disappeared into the small and cosy house. Daniel followed Mr. Philips in direction of the pen. Mr. Philips was as talkative as always, “How have you been, Daniel? Is everything nice and dandy in the new house? Tell me about the new school!”

“Please, Mr. Philips, one question at a time,” Daniel laughed, “The school is fine. I have actually grown quite fond of it.”

The older man chortled as he unlocked the gate to the paddock. “Made friends, aye? I hope you're getting yourself into a lot of trouble. That is what boys your age should be doing!”

Daniel's cheeks flushed against his will as he got a perplexed look on his face. “Certainly not, sir.”

Mr. Philips merely kept laughing while he unclasped the lead from Elizabeth's halter. She walked a little further into the pen, but didn't go very far before she stopped to graze. He turned towards the young boy again, “Let's go find my premium horse, shall we?” Daniel nodded eagerly.

A small flock of horses strolled around, relaxing in the warm sun and eating. The Philips' farm was not very big, but they had room for a couple of animals, and by now they already had eight horses; the majority of them, Mr. Philips had bred himself. Daniel knew that it had always been Mr. Philips' dream to breed Thoroughbred race horses. Only a few years ago he had gotten started with his breeding program when he had finally saved up enough money to buy his first three pure-blooded horses.

While Mr. Philips was pointing out all of his beautiful animals, commenting that he had heard that Daniel himself had started riding and that a young man should have a proper horse, Daniel couldn't help but smile. Daniel had known the elderly couple ever since he could remember. They were their neighbours all the way back when Evelyn was alive – they might even have settled down here before Daniel was born. Daniel didn't know, he had never asked. But he only had good memories of them; they had been the few people that had been nice to him and his sister, although Daniel himself rarely had had any time to talk to them. He suspected that the reason why he immediately liked Mrs. Bell from the sweets shop back in town so much was that she reminded him of the loving and friendly Mrs. Philips.

“There we have him! My beautiful Pride,” Mr. Philips said with twinkling eyes. Daniel could understand why this was Mr. Philips' pride. The colt was tall and majestic, moving with elegance and grace and almost radiating superiority. Its hair was a beautiful brown colour, shining like metal and feeling incredibly soft. Daniel had never been near such a beautiful horse.

The colt took interest in the young boy at once. It nudged his chest, sniffing at his waistcoat. Mr. Philips broke in a loud laughter. “Oh Pride, he's not bringing you any treats!”

“Pride? Is that his name?” Daniel chuckled as he fondled the horse's muzzle. It was as soft as silk and had a blaze.

“Indeed. I feel it is a very fitting name,” Mr. Philips nodded and patted Pride's neck, “Started breaking him in a year ago. He's been just wonderful to train.” He shook his head with a smile on his lips, the pride beaming from his hazel ageing eyes. “I have high hopes for this big boy. I'm going to get him to the Royal Ascot someday. I believe he can make it.”

Daniel smiled. Pride had warm, brown eyes. When he looked into them, he felt like he had a friend. He scratched the horse on its forehead. “I'm certain he will,” he said and gave a wide, genuine smile to Mr. Philips, “And he'll win.” Mr. Philips returned the smile and patted the young man's shoulder in gratitude.

“Daniel! Where is Hazel?”

Daniel turned around. John and Henrietta stood by the fence with their servants. “She is inside with Mrs. Philips,” he called back, before focusing his attention on Pride again.

“The Philips are good people,” John commented, studying the horses in the paddock, “There is nothing to worry about.”

Henrietta nodded thoughtfully, watching Pride and Daniel, “Their horses certainly are beautiful.” The colt leaned into Daniel's hand, almost caressing the boy himself. Daniel's eyes were sparkling bright green, the expression on his face warm and endearing. The chemistry was evident.

She studied the boy and the colt closely. She had not seen Daniel at such ease before. In all the time she had been part of the family, all she had ever known was a rebellious young man who didn't want to accept her or let her in. He had made it hard on her right from the start. She had no influence on him like she had on his father and sister.

But maybe he could be disciplined. Maybe the horse was a step in the right direction. She could gain control again, even when he was not away on the boarding school.

“Mr. Wilkinson, would it be all right if the boy takes a try on my horse? I promise you that he will be in safe hands, Pride is a real gentleman.” Henrietta woke from her thoughts. Mr. Philips had called out to her husband.

“I trust you, Mr. Philips. Daniel should try him out, the colt is exemplary,” John answered. Henrietta didn't say anything.

As the young boy and elderly farmer saddled up the horse and brought him out to the riding ground, Henrietta couldn't help but notice how much the colt and boy suited each other. Daniel sat naturally on him, and they worked together almost symbiotically. Thinking about it, Daniel was light enough to become a jockey.

It was time to break Daniel in.

* * *

The Easter vacation went by in a blink of an eye. Daniel spent most of his time visiting Pride and helping Mr. Philips with his training, and if he wasn't at the Philips' farm, he was out in the Blean, building Serena's playhouse. Thank God, he didn't see Henry at all. Perhaps he had finally decided to leave Daniel alone for good. If only he should be so lucky.

Every evening before bedtime, Daniel told Hazel fairy tales. Most of all, she wanted to hear the tale about the morning star and other female characters. Stars sparkled in her eyes whenever he told about the poor young women, who, in spite of the challenges along the way, always got their happily ever afters.

When he returned to the school, he was received with open arms. They were all very happy to see him again, and excited to get back into town and have some fun.

He had noticed Christopher being in an impressively nice shape right from when he first met him. Christopher had always been the broader of the boys, being very muscular for his age, even compared to Henry. And it couldn't be excused with a lot of hard labour, since Christopher did not do that kind of work due to his family being wealthy – and Daniel had done lots of hard work all of his life, and he was still skinny!

In the end, Daniel decided to ask his friend about it, and it resulted in them starting to spend days together doing something, Christopher called a _workout_.

Really, Daniel was in good shape. The physical education class was fine; he had always had a lot of stamina, and his muscles, though lean, were fairly strong. He was quick and well-balanced, so he did very good in the fencing classes, and he was starting to get the various ballroom dance steps down.

But all of that was nothing compared to the exercise, he did with Christopher. He finally understood how the older boy could be so broad and muscular already, despite not being fully developed yet.

Christopher started boxing at a young age. He was taught by his own father, who was an enthusiast and practised the sport himself. In the vacations, Christopher would often spend time training with his father. The first time Daniel tried hitting the sack of flour, Christopher had sneaked out of the kitchen quarters, he felt completely numb in both of his arms after only a few punches. Christopher had told him to stop and take it slow, and they moved on to do some other exercises for the stomach and legs instead.

They had been exercising consistently together for a few weeks now, Christopher helping Daniel with both his training and nutrition, but Daniel did not feel like he saw any results – other than feeling better and stronger, at least. He had noticed that his chest and some other parts of his body had gotten broader, but it was barely evident. Christopher told him to be patient; he would gain muscles soon enough. Daniel really hoped he was right. He wanted to look a bit more impressive for the summer, when Serena returned to Canterbury – especially now that she probably in her silent mind would compare him to the other gentlemen, she had met.

Now that they were spending a lot of time together anyway, and Daniel felt like he grew closer to Christopher, he decided to ask him what his secret was. He lay down on the floor in the gym hall after finishing his last set of sit-ups, breathing out in relief. Christopher kept beating at the sack, sweat running down his handsome face. He had his black locks pulled back in a ponytail. Daniel, too, had his long hair fixed in a band, so it wouldn't get in the way. “Chris,” he said in a heavy breath, “Can I ask you something?”

The sack received a few more hits before Christopher stopped and leaned up against it, breathing as if he had been deprived of air for minutes. Daniel studied the older boy, wondering how he managed to keep at such an aggressive pace for an extended amount of time. Daniel himself liked to imagine that the sack was Henry; that helped to keep him going at it for a little while longer, even when it felt like his body was going to give up. “Of course,” Christopher said with a groan, “What is it?”

As he came to sit down beside Daniel, the boy took a moment to think about how to mouth his thoughts. “Did you...” he hesitated, then looked at his friend, “Did you ever go all the way?”

Christopher's lips curled in a wry smile. “You bet I did.”

Daniel's eyes widened and his mouth fell open. “Really?” he gaped.

The other nodded. “But it was not too long ago,” he said, “It was actually after you enrolled. But why?” He raised an eyebrow and sent Daniel a questioning look, “Did you ...?”

“No!” Daniel shook his head furiously. “I wouldn't... Not yet, at least.”

“Do you like a girl?” Christopher asked. There was neither judgement nor anticipation in his voice. He might as well have asked how the weather was.

Daniel didn't answer right away. He was thinking of the night when he first went out with the boys. He had noticed Christopher disappearing with his girl. Had that been his first time? He looked at Christopher. “I don't think so,” he said, “But...” He averted his gaze.

Christopher once again raised a brow. “But?”

The younger boy blushed, unable to keep a smile from forming on his lips. “I… I would love to get some advice on how to handle the ladies. If … you would be so kind.”

Christopher broke in a loud laughter. Daniel was almost startled by the sudden outburst. The other boy patted his shoulder and stood up from the ground again. “Of course, Daniel,” he laughed, “We're already getting there. I'll fix you up, then you can go get your lady.”

“I never said there was a lady!” Daniel remarked, but Christopher completely ignored his protests. It was time to get back to the training.

* * *

Everett said he had something special planned for tonight, but it didn't go as planned.

Already before Daniel sneaked out of his room, things started to tumble down. He had done this several times before. He didn't know why tonight, of all nights, he had to trip over Benjamin's shoes. Benjamin wasn't stupid; Daniel knew that he wouldn't believe him if he told him he was just going to get some water – if so, then why would he be completely dressed? He had to tell his room mate the truth.

Everett wasn't pleased with the new guest. It was obvious that he was just about to say something really nasty, but Christopher set him straight with one single look, and he kept his mouth shut. It took him all of his self-control not to strangle Daniel for being so incautious, though.

Luckily, the boys barely noticed that Benjamin was there. On the way to Everett's surprise, he kept quiet while the others were chatting and laughing. He probably felt just as overwhelmed with the night life as Daniel had on his first evening out. His large eyes were wider than usual.

Daniel noticed that they were moving into a murkier part of town, but he didn't mention it. It was not unusual for Everett to lead them to some new pub, he had seen his father go to. But Daniel did not expect this.

Women even more crude than Rosetta stood on the street, calling out to gentlemen walking by. One of them whistled at Christopher. He waved back with a charming smile. Daniel didn't know how to feel about this. He was certain that these women were prostitutes. There was no denying it. Where was Everett leading them?

Soon his question was answered. Everett walked down an alley and further down some steps leading into some sort of dimmed underground club. Daniel was almost sure that they wouldn't be old enough to enter under normal circumstances, but no one even stopped them at the door.

“What is this place, Everett?” It was Harvey who asked.

“Chris and I met up in the vacation, and we found this,” Everett said, “It's really a lot of fun. I'm sure you will all find it delightful.”

Daniel knew what kind of place this was. A sickly sweet smell filled the air, the light was red. He heard the drunken voices, the laughter, the moans. Only curtains separated the stalls, giving the house's customers some much wanted privacy. It was disturbing, yet fascinating; like stepping into a whole other world.

“Have you boys paid?”

The boys turned around and were faced with an older woman, probably in her fifties, whose large, saggy breasts nearly escaped the very inappropriate, loose blouse. She was wearing so much make-up her skin seemed to have suffered from it. She had a hand placed on her hip, eyeing them up and down suspiciously.

Everett stepped forward, his usual cocky smile planted on his face already, and pulled out a small card from his blazer pocket. “George Hammond has taken care of it. I am his son.”

The woman took the business card and read it, a frown wrinkling her forehead. For a moment Daniel was worried that she might not buy it – or secretly hoping she wouldn't – but then she gave Everett a sweet smile and gave him the card back, “Ah, Mr. Hammond. A very loyal client. And his son, just as handsome!”

“Thank you, Madame Toulouse,” Everett said, “My friends would like some dates. If you would be so kind to arrange that?”

“Of course!” Madame Toulouse said, “I'll fix you up right away. You know, we have the most beautiful women in town, you won't be able to find anyone else as gorgeous in the whole of Canterbury! And we've got something for everyone; we have Asians, Africans, Brazilians…” While the woman was talking about all the women she had to offer, Daniel started to grow nervous. It was going too fast. What was going to happen now? Why had Everett brought them here? What would Hazel think if she knew about this?

He grabbed Owen's arm in a slight panic when the group started to follow Madame Toulouse. Owen sent him a weird look, grimacing. “Ouch!” he said, “That hurts, you know!”

“Owen, why are we even here? I think we should go back,” Daniel whispered.

“Why? This is really exciting!” Owen's lips formed into a very eager smile, “I bet those women are the most beautiful we ever saw! _And imagine how willing they'll be, Daniel!”_

Daniel shook his head, “I-I don't think so… Are we not supposed to wait till marriage?”

Owen laughed wholeheartedly. “Oh, Daniel!” he said, “That is the best joke yet! No one waits till marriage any more. Are you really that old-fashioned?”

The younger boy let go of his friend, realising that he wouldn't be able to talk any of them out of it. He swallowed a lump in his throat and started to investigate his surroundings instead, green eyes scanning the room. Gentlemen were sitting in couches, drinking together with women barely wearing any clothing. They really were beautiful. They looked different from ordinary English women; they had the kind of exotic golden skin and brown eyes that he admired about Serena so much. Madame Toulouse showed them down a hallway to their own private lounge, where they seated themselves in the couches. She promised that there soon would be ladies joining them, before she left to tend to her other customers.

Daniel studied the other boys. They seemed excited, anticipative. They were talking about the women, asking Everett how he got the card and approval. Even Benjamin looked more at ease than Daniel felt; his tongue was almost hanging out of his mouth like some very eager dog.

Daniel felt completely out of place. This was not right. He had never done more than hold hands with a girl. And that girl had been his best friend, not any romantic interest. But still, he was intrigued. Butterflies were churning in his stomach. Was this really going to be the night? He had never had any woman that close to him before. Not that he would mind it… But no one had ever shown interest. Then again, how many chances had he had at his age? He was only just starting to become an adult!

Perhaps this would be the night he really would become a man. The thought was appealing.

Suddenly the others cheered. Daniel turned his head, only to see five beautiful women coming their way. They looked as exotic as the other ladies in the house, and weren't wearing a lot of clothes either. The middle-class wives of Canterbury would be scandalised to see such a large amount of bare skin.

The women laughed, overly charmed by the boys' greetings. They had brought trays with drinks on them, which they put down on the table before they settled in the couches. A Japanese woman sat down in between Daniel and Owen, so that Daniel finally was completely isolated from the other boys, already sitting all the way to the other side of the couch.

As Daniel had expected, soon there was an active conversation going, and only he and Benjamin weren't participating – though Benjamin still looked like he was in some state of ecstasy. Christopher already had his arm around one of the women, a stunning Indian one, and Harvey and Timmy were sharing the attention of the Spanish lady sitting between them. Everett and Owen were talking to the three other women, one of them being the Asian dame by Daniel's side. Everett had his eyes on the Scandinavian sitting next to himself.

Daniel sighed and took a sip of his drink. It was wine. Daniel couldn't tell the quality of it, but the thick, bitter taste distracted him from his boredom and nerves. He was not becoming a man tonight.

“Do you like it?”

He turned his head in surprise, nearly choking on the alcoholic beverage. The Japanese woman was looking at him with a sly smile, batting her eyelashes. Her eyes were beautiful; a deep shade of brown, nearly onyx, and her full lips painted red, her hair long and black and shining like silk.

Daniel nodded, “Yes, it's... It's tasty.”

She chuckled and placed a hand on his thigh. Daniel's eyes immediately locked on it, his brain suddenly unable to function normally. “You're so quiet,” she said, her words coated in a soft, yet sharp accent, “Why don't you talk to me? I would like to get to know you.”

“You would?” Daniel said in a breath, he realised that he had been holding for a little while.

The woman nodded, still with a smile. “Very much,” she said, leaning in closer.

Daniel didn't respond. He didn't know how to. Slowly, he turned his head away and looked around at the others. They were still preoccupied with their girls. The woman grabbed his attention again when she placed a discreet hand on his arm. “Perhaps we should go somewhere more … secluded?”

Daniel's heart was running. He really hoped that she couldn't tell that he was trembling a bit. He swallowed a lump in his throat, feeling his skin become damp as he started sweating. He managed to force two single words, “All right.”

They both stood up, and she grabbed his wrist and led him away from the others. He looked back; the boys finally noticed that something was happening, but soon the surprised looks were replaced with cheers and whistling. “All right! That's how it's done! Go for it, Danny!” He managed to send back a smile, though a little forced. He knew that he was supposed to be excited, but honestly he wasn't quite sure how he felt.

The woman knew the house well. She took him down the hallway back to the main room and found a stall in a private corner. As she drew the curtain back, Daniel asked in a nervous fit, “S-so, what's your name?” He immediately wanted to slap himself. That was the exact same thing that he had asked Rosetta, and it had ruined his chances with her. Was he actually unconsciously trying to sabotage himself?

But the whore did not react as aggressively as Rosetta had. She merely gave him a sweet smile as she led him into the tent, “My name is Natsumi.” She seated him and herself on the silk futon inside, then leaned closer to his ear and whispered, “It means _summer beauty.”_

 _Summer beauty_ , Daniel thought, his heart skipping a beat. _**Serena** _ _._

Natsumi noticed that the boy stopped his breathing. She leaned closer, letting her warm breath caress his bare neck. She skilfully placed her hand on his thigh, gently running it up and down, “What is your name, handsome?”

Daniel felt his trousers tighten around his crotch. It was a weird sensation. He struggled to keep calm as he answered, “It's... It's Daniel...”

“What a beautiful name…” she said, moaning into his ear as her hand ran further up, “For a beautiful boy...”

Then he snapped. In a jolt, his hand grabbed around her wrist right beneath his groin. She looked at him with shock. Daniel breathed heavily, trying to organise his thoughts. “Please…” he said, “Please, don't.” She stared at him, then pulled her hand back.

For a moment, there was silence between them. Daniel stared down at his lap. His heart was still beating like mad, he still felt the tingle in his abdomen, but something within him was rejecting the idea.

Suddenly Natsumi stood up. Daniel looked at her, seeing the angry expression on her face. “A complete waste of time!” she snapped with her thick accent, making violent gestures with her hands, “Why are you even here?” She continued to scold him in Japanese, and even though Daniel didn't understand, he could make out that she probably thought he was hopeless. She didn't give him a chance to speak as she left the tent, still spluttering all kinds of Japanese curses on her way out.

Daniel sat still on the futon, trying to calm himself and his rapid heartbeat. It had been so close. Even now, he wasn't sure what was keeping him. But he knew that he wasn't ready yet. It just wasn't right. He sighed and rubbed his thighs in an effort to make them forget about Natsumi's touch. He took a last deep breath, then stood up and ventured out of the tent. Luckily he knew which hallway to go down to reach the room with the other boys.

Or at least he thought he did.

As he walked down the hall, he heard voices and drunken laughter – but the voices were much deeper than those of his friends. He didn't know if they had just gotten too much to drink, or if he was headed for the wrong lounge, but he kept going, just to make sure. He had been certain that this was the hall, Madame Toulouse had led them down earlier!

The closer he got to the lounge area, the more he began to doubt his own memory. Those voices definitely did not sound familiar at all. Yet, one of them did. A deep one, with an accent.

Daniel stopped dead in his tracks right before turning the corner, his eyes wide in horror. That voice, coated with a thick French accent. It was no other than the voice of Monsieur Le Grand.

One of the school professors was in the next room, only a few feet away from where Daniel was standing. Slowly, the boy began to trace his steps backwards, trying to make as little noise as possible. Le Grand was laughing loudly with his comrades, obviously enjoying the company. He heard female voices shower him with sweet words, words that Daniel knew were total lies. Anyone with well functioning eyes could tell that Le Grand's arms were the size of twigs, and nothing more.

As soon as Daniel felt he was a safe distance from the lounge, he turned on his heel and ran back down the hallway. Reaching the main hall, his eyes frantically scanned the place, searching for another passage to a lounge that could be the one his friends were seated at. He ran down another hallway, but found that the lounge contained nothing other than empty glasses. Feeling the panic settling in, he ran from lounge to lounge, only going halfway down the corridors before turning around again, concluding that the voices were not those of his friends.

Daniel tried hard to keep his cool. There was no way they would have left him behind. There must have been another explanation. Perhaps Everett, Christopher or Owen went with some of the girls. And even Timmy and Harvey. But where was Benjamin? Surely, he didn't actually charm the whores. He wasn't even able to speak one comprehensive word in their presence.

Back in the main hall, he rushed to find Madame Toulouse in the hopes that she could provide him with some answers. He didn't even know how to get back to the school from here, he had never been to this part of town! It was all Everett's stupid idea.

Turning a corner in the underground club, he suddenly saw a familiar face – Harvey. He was standing by a table filled with fresh fruits and beverages, simply filling himself with grapes. He looked as if he was trying hard not to bite his nails; a habit, the professors at the school often berated him on.

Daniel ran to him, “Harvey! Where are the others? Where did you go?”

The boy with the glasses turned his head with a surprised look and dropped a grape out of his mouth, “Daniel? I thought you went with the Asian woman.”

“I... I did.” Daniel moistened his lips, changing the subject, “Where are the other boys?”

“Christopher is in one of the tents,” Harvey said while he looked thoughtfully at the delicious fruit, considering what to try out next before deciding on a pear, “I think the same for Everett. Owen also disappeared with one girl. Timmy was somewhere nearby, but he had to go really bad from all the drinks. I'm waiting for him now.”

“And Benjamin?” Daniel urged.

Harvey grimaced, “How would I know? He disappears all the time, then suddenly shows up out of nowhere. What are you so stressed about?”

“We need to leave,” Daniel hissed, _“Le Grand is here!”_

Harvey froze. “H-here?”

Daniel nodded. “Yes, so let's go find the others _now!”_

He continued his search for the others. Harvey followed, still a bit disoriented. He stopped by each of the curtains, listening out for familiar voices. Harvey stumbled after, trying to find Benjamin and Timmy out on the streets and by the urinals.

Finally Daniel recognised a voice. He heard a faint female giggle, and a deep voice spoke, “You feel warm...”

Daniel pulled the curtain aside in a sharp movement, uncovering a startled Christopher, who quickly drew his hand back from under his lady friend's skirt. “Daniel! What in- ?!”

“Le Grand is here!” Daniel said, _“_ _ **We need to go!**_ _”_ He only gave Christopher a moment to let the words sink in, before he continued his search for the others. Once realising what Daniel was saying, Christopher got back on his feet in a flash and followed after.

Luckily, with Christopher and Harvey's help, they soon found their friends. Benjamin just kind of appeared, exactly like Harvey had said, without any explanation as to where he had been. They didn't ask. “Let's move,” Everett said, putting on his coat, “If that Frenchman finds us here, we're done for!”

In a single bright moment, it seemed like they could escape. They were assembled again and on their way towards the exit. But things didn't go as planned that night.

Everett led them around a corner in the intricate labyrinth of hallways, noticing the French accent too late. “Well, it sure is some of a surprise to meet you boys here,” Le Grand said with crossed arms, fury evident in his voice, “I should like to hear the Headmaster's opinion on this.”

Daniel's heart sank down to his stomach. All of the boys knew that this was it. Punishment was coming their way.

 


	17. Generous Gift

As usual, Everett got his way. A few well thought-out comments about how Le Grand surely didn't want the whole school to know that he visited the local brothels while the students were sleeping soothed the Frenchman's anger a bit, but of course punishment could not be avoided.

At least their parents weren't notified; they had to stay at the school for the summer half term and perform church duties and service, though. These duties included a lot of really boring tasks, like cleaning the large cathedral, helping out with the services, fetching whatever the Bishop asked for, cooking for the workers, and a great many other things. The vacation was barely one, but they weren't kicked out of the school, and that in itself was very fortunate. Daniel had thought the worst when they got caught by Monsieur Le Grand. Everett really was a sneaky lad.

Somehow, even through the most boring of tasks, the boys managed to have fun anyway. When they were cleaning the church floors, it turned into a water fight – until the Bishop set them straight. It seemed that the most important thing was that they were together, then it didn't matter how they spent the vacation.

The weather got warmer all over England. Due to their good behaviour – most of the time, at least – they were spared off of some duties near the end of the half term, and the boys decided to go for a horseback ride down the Great Stour. Daniel saddled Charlie. He didn't have his own horse like most of the other boys at the school, but he had grown quite fond of the gelding. It had been very patient with him, and Daniel appreciated that greatly.

The boys reminisced about the incident with laughter. It had been a great experience. “I'll never forget the look on Le Grand's face! It was hilarious!” Timmy said, clapping his horse's neck. They had stopped by the river on the meadow right outside of town to give their horses a break and let them graze.

“ _'It sure is a surprise to see you boys here!'”_ Christopher parodied Monsieur Le Grand, and they all laughed even harder. Even Daniel, who hadn't been able to see anything funny about this earlier, couldn't contain his laughter.

“But the girls,” Owen sighed, leaning against his golden mare, “Oh, the girls were completely worth it. I regret nothing.”

“Even Danny got some action, didn't you, Daniel?” Everett chuckled as he settled down in the lush grass.

Daniel's smile disappeared. He didn't know what to say, but apparently he didn't have to say anything at all, for he didn't get a chance to answer. They all just laughed and congratulated him. “I honestly didn't think you had it in you! Respect, man!” He didn't tell them. He just forced a smile and nodded. There was no reason to ruin the good mood when they were all so impressed with him.

Timmy also sat down in the grass, raking up a few straws from the ground. “So, what are your plans for the summer vacation?”

“My parents are going to the cottage in Northamptonshire,” Everett said, “You should all come along. We've got lots of space.”

“It's true!” Christopher laughed, “The cottage is almost the size of the school! I was there last summer, we had a lot of fun. There were many fine ladies, I must say.” He and Everett shared a knowing look.

The others' eyes widened in excitement. “Really? That sounds great!” Owen exclaimed, looking at the others.

“We should do it!” Harvey added.

“I can't.”

The other boys fell silent and stared at their friend. “But... Why not?” Timmy asked, looking like a puppy that had just been kicked.

Daniel tried to think of an explanation fast. “Uh… My parents would never allow it,” he said.

“That's unfair! We should talk to them!” Harvey insisted, and the others nodded with outraged but determined expressions on their faces.

“NO! No, no, no...” Daniel shook his head frantically, “No, that won't work. I'm sorry, it can't be helped.” His friends stared at him, not uttering a word. He swallowed hard, then continued, “Besides, I have a lot of duties at home. We have plans. We'll be travelling. I need to look after my sister. I just ... can't.”

They looked at each other, confusion apparent in their faces. “Well... If that's the case...” Owen muttered at last, looking disappointed.

“We'll tell you all about how it went! Promise!” Timmy said, nodding eagerly.

Christopher sent Daniel an encouraging smile, “It's all right. We'll have fun on your behalf, Daniel.”

“Yes. We'll just pretend that you're there with us,” Everett nodded, and the others agreed.

Daniel smiled. “Thanks, all of you.” Their efforts were endearing. He would have liked to go with them to Everett's cottage, but as it was now, he couldn't. He wanted to stay in Canterbury with Serena.

* * *

The half term came to an end. The punishment really hadn't been that bad; it was already over. Daniel had expected something a lot worse. Hazel asked him why he didn't come home for the half term in a letter, but he didn't have the heart to tell her about his trips to town – and especially not his meetings with the indecent ladies – so he just told her that his friends wanted him to stay.

Everyone wanted to know about their adventure, that of course had been revealed by now, and no one was better at telling about it than Everett. He made it sound as if they were champions who brought down every lady they encountered. But as he had promised Headmaster Wallace, he did not mention Monsieur Le Grand's visits to the brothel.

Everything went back to normal. Daniel found himself concentrating a lot on his homework now that the school year was soon coming to an end. There would be some end-of-the-year exams, and the whole school was preparing for them. In one of the weekends, Daniel wanted to ask Professor Allen about his history assignment. He went to the teachers' quarters in hopes of finding the history teacher, but he found more than he bargained for.

As he entered the building and went down the hallway, he suddenly stopped in his tracks. The door to one of the professors' room was open, and he had been certain he had seen a person in there – someone who was not an educated adult.

He went back to the open door, only to be faced with a bewildered boy. They stared at each other for a short while, then the other breathed out in relief. “Oh, thank God! It's just you,” he said.

“Everett!” Daniel exclaimed, looking distraught, “What are you doing here? Are you even allowed to be in Professor Lockhart's room?”

“Keep it down!” Everett hissed, “Of course not! Keep guard for me!” He turned around to continue what he was doing, opening another drawer in the chest of drawers he was standing by.

Daniel noticed that he had a bag in his hands. “What are you doing?” he whispered frantically. Everett chuckled, taking a piece of cloth out of the drawers. It was a pair of underpants. Daniel grimaced, “What are you going to do with that?! Put it back!”

“Don't be such a mood killer, Daniel!” Everett rolled his eyes, then opened the bag and tilted it over the briefs. The contents of the bag were some kind of white powder.

Daniel frowned. “What is that?”

“You sure ask a lot of questions,” Everett said as he folded the piece of undergarments and put them back in the drawer again. He was about to pick up another pair, but apparently lost his patience and just decided on pouring the rest of the powder in the whole drawer. When he finished, he looked at Daniel again with a big grin. “I can't wait to see the look on Professor Lockhart's face! It's going to be genius!”

“What was that powder?” Daniel asked, feeling uneasy.

Everett bit his lip in excitement as he made sure that he had left no trace of his presence behind. He then turned towards his friend again and pulled him with him out of the room, locking the door behind them. “Let's just say that soon, he won't only have an _itch_ for mathematics,” he said and laughed.

Daniel's eyes widened. “You didn't!” he gasped, “What will you do when the Headmaster finds out? You'll be expelled!”

“But he won't find out,” Everett said and stopped laughing. He looked at Daniel with a dead serious look and placed a hand on his shoulder, “You're my friend. I can trust you, right, Daniel?”

He stood for a moment and stared at the blond, unable to process what he had just witnessed. “B-but you broke the rules!” he blurted.

“It's just a harmless gag, Dan,” Everett said, “No one will get hurt! It's just for fun.”

Daniel looked down at his hands, not knowing what to say. This was dangerous. If anyone found out that Everett did this, he would be kicked out for sure. He had gotten caught in a brothel just a month ago! What was he thinking?

But maybe he was right. It was all just fun and games. Owen had mentioned that Everett and Christopher had an inside thing going on where they challenged each other, pulling off pranks on other students – even professors sometimes – so perhaps this was not as bad as it seemed.

“I-I guess,” he mumbled at last.

“Great! I knew I could count on you, my friend!”

* * *

The incident was just as hilarious as Everett had said it would be. Professor Lockhart was a grumpy old man, the kind that genuinely hated children, yet was surrounded by them all day, every day. His furious shouts could be heard all over Canterbury.

“ _ **WHO DID THIS? WHO PUT ITCHING POWDER IN MY PANTS?”**_

Even the professors laughed about it. But of course, the culprit had to be found and punished, and so the interrogation of all the school boys began.

When Daniel and some of the other boys were brought into Headmaster Wallace's office, he was certain that they had already figured him out. Even though he hadn't been the one to commit the crime, he had still witnessed it, so he was just as guilty. Everett was also brought in with him, along with Timmy and Benjamin. Christopher and Harvey had been interrogated already. He looked so calm. If Daniel hadn't actually seen Everett pour the powder in the drawer, he would never have suspected anything.

Professor Lockhart was in the office with Wallace, his face still as flushed as it had been when the furious itching began. He was as unpredictable as a volcano, ready to erupt at any second. He looked like he wanted to tear the heads off the young men in the office. “Do you boys know anything?” Wallace said, looking intently at each one of them, “I hope you all know that it will be a better option to speak up. If you're a witness but don't tell, you're just as bad as the culprit.”

Daniel stole a glance at Everett; he didn't flinch one bit. He almost looked _bored._ Daniel himself started to feel an itch, an itching need to tell that he knew and that he and Everett were sorry, but his tongue didn't cooperate. He kept silent.

Later that week, Daniel heard that one boy from a class below him had been expelled, as Lockhart had insisted that he was guilty. The boy wasn't allowed to participate in the mathematics exam and would have to repeat the subject class a year. Daniel felt horrible about it. The boy had been punished for a crime he didn't commit, and it was all because he didn't have the guts to face the consequences of his actions.

Everett didn't feel quite the same way. When Daniel was walking across the courtyard from the main building to the living quarters of the students, Everett caught him with an arm around his shoulder. Daniel looked up in a start. “Thanks, friend,” he grinned, “We got away with it! It was genius! I couldn't have done it without you, Daniel.”

Daniel forced a smile. Honestly, he would have preferred if he had never known anything about it in the first place. He knew that it was all just fun and games, but Everett had promised that no one would get hurt.

* * *

The examinations went well. Daniel had studied hard because he figured that the tests would be a lot more difficult than anything he had experienced at the village school, but it turned out that it was easier than expected. He had been stressing over nothing.

The others did well, too. Everett relied mostly on his own intelligence during the actual exam, not bothering to study. With his wits and charm, Daniel guessed he really didn't need to – he did fine without even working for it. Christopher did study, not because he was worried that he was going to fail, but because he knew that the exams were important, and he wanted to make his parents proud; he ended the school year with excellent grades. Harvey studied even harder than Daniel, but that was due to his tendency to be an achiever. Of course, he completed the exams with straight A's.

Timmy didn't have it as easy as the others. He had never been very bright, but he worked hard with Harvey, so he managed to achieve a respectable grade. He was so happy with the grades that he couldn't wait for his parents to hear about it, completely certain that they would be overwhelmed and proud of his efforts.

Owen studied with Daniel, but he did not take it as seriously. He kept telling Daniel that these exams wouldn't be important before their last year, and it wasn't going to be as hard as he thought. It turned out that he was right. He also did good in the exams. Daniel didn't know if Benjamin even studied, but it seemed like he did fine, too. He figured that he would have to, if his dream about becoming a physician was going to come true.

Returning home to the mansion, he almost regretted that he didn't go with the others to Everett's cottage in Northamptonshire, but at the same time he was excited about seeing Serena again. He knew that she had arrived in Canterbury nearly a month ago, and he was only returning just a few days before his birthday. He wanted to go find her as soon as he returned home, but something came up – as the carriage thundered into the courtyard, Daniel was met with an unexpected sight.

He didn't even wait for Charles to open the door for him; he immediately jumped out of the carriage and ran across the courtyard, past the mansion and towards the stables. “Mr. Philips!” he waved, “What are you doing here?”

Mr. Philips turned around. When he recognised the boy running towards him, he smiled and waved back, “Hello Daniel! Coming back for the summer vacation, aye?”

Daniel finally caught up with him, laughing. The beautiful colt, Mr. Philips had in a lead, neighed softly and nodded his head to get Daniel's attention. “Hello, Pride. I missed you, too,” Daniel said and patted the horse's cheek.

“I tell you, Pride has not been the same since you left,” Mr. Philips chuckled, “He hasn't been as cooperative with my other rider since he got to know you!”

Daniel couldn't keep a smile from forming on his lips. He remembered his first try on Pride back in Easter, and it had been perfect. It was as if him and Pride were meant to be rider and horse. “I must admit that I've felt the same way. The horses on the school just don't quite match the smoothness and grace of Pride's gait,” Daniel said, fondling Pride's forehead. Then he turned to look at Mr. Philips with a raised eyebrow and a hand placed on his hip, “But just what are you two doing here? It's a bit of a long way from the farm, isn't it?”

Mr. Philips shook his sturdy head with a smile, “Pride is yours now, Daniel.”

It took a while before the meaning of his words settled in. Daniel dropped his jaw, his eyes wide. “M- _mine?”_ he blurted.

“Indeed,” Mr. Philips said, amused by the look on the young man's face, “I'm only here to deliver him!”

Daniel stared at the farmer, trying to process what he was telling him. Pride nudged his shoulder, his ears turning back and forth. “B-but,” he said, “I can't pay for him! I mean, I can't afford it!”

Mr. Philips placed a large hand on his shoulder, “Don't worry about it, Daniel. It's all already been taken care of. Your stepmother arranged it.”

An alarm started wailing in Daniel's head. Suddenly he understood; he knew right from the start that it was too good to be true. The near look of pleasant surprise on Daniel's face was replaced with anxiety, “No! I can't accept him! He's your Pride, and you were going to make him your champion! A young inexperienced boy like me should not have such an excellent horse…”

But Mr. Philips had turned his attention away from Daniel, “Good day, Mrs. Wilkinson.” Daniel turned around. The sight of the woman made him clench his teeth and fist his hands.

“And good day to you, Mr. Philips,” Henrietta said. She was wearing a dress that looked far too posh to be going near the horse stables. Daniel wondered why she even had such a building, but he guessed it must have been built back when the lot belonged to the late Mr. Evans.

“Maybe you should explain to the young man here that the horse belongs to him now,” Mr. Philips chuckled, “It seems that he won't take my word for it.”

Henrietta eyed the young horse with those cold, calculating eyes of hers. Daniel cringed, wanting to remove it from her sight immediately. His loving Pride should not be the object of that woman's judgement!

She clapped Pride's flank, “This horse is a real jewel; he will be the perfect partner for you, Daniel. I bought him so that you can bring him to the school.” Henrietta turned towards Daniel, “Consider it your birthday gift and a reward for the excellent grades of your exams. We received a note from the school about it. Your father and I are very impressed.”

Daniel didn't look at her. The compliments did not affect him. The only thing, he could think of, was how he had to accept the beautiful horse now, knowing that he owed it all to Henrietta; that devious lady.

Mr. Philips smiled and patted Pride's neck. “I hope you'll take good care of him and keep up his training,” he said, eyeing the horse with a look of melancholy, “If you ever need help, you know I'm not too far away.”

“But Mr. Philips,” Daniel said, feeling an immense amount of guilt, “I'm not sure if I'm cut out for training Pride... I thought you wanted to make him a race horse and get him to the Royal Ascot?”

“I did, but I've got other promising horses, and I'm going on an auction next week,” Mr. Philips said with a reassuring smile, “Besides, if you wanted to, you would make an excellent jockey. But it would require you to start the training at once. Pride's bones need to be adjusted to the work while they are still developing.”

Daniel was about to answer, but Henrietta cut him short, “Mr. Philips has agreed to help you with the training and you are allowed to use his training field. It's all up to you what you will do with your horse now.”

He swallowed, feeling incredibly frustrated. He didn't know much about horse racing. He had talked about it with the other boys, and the class had even gone to see a few smaller racecourses. It had been amazing and definitely piqued Daniel's interest. But it was tough business training such a horse, he was sure.

“You'll do fine,” Mr. Philips said, patting Daniel's shoulder, “I've already taken care of the worst part. He's a pleasure to work with now. You don't have to make him a race horse, there's no pressure.”

How ironic that telling someone there's no pressure made someone feel even more pressured. Daniel forced a smile.

Mr. Philips turned towards Henrietta, “Oh well, I'll put this beautiful boy in his box now.”

“Thank you, Mr. Philips,” Henrietta nodded, and Mr. Philips continued his walk towards the stables, taking Pride with him.

Daniel watched him and Pride, refusing to look at Henrietta. She had done this on purpose. He was placed in a very difficult position now, and it was all thanks to her.

They remained silent for a while. Henrietta eyed her stepson, noticing how tense he was. “I feel sorry that you didn't tell me about your birthday last year,” she said.

He didn't answer.

“I think that it should be celebrated. I have arranged for a family dinner, and I expect you to be cleaned up for it,” Henrietta continued, “We'll be having guests.”

She turned around and began walking back towards the mansion. The servants had finished carrying Daniel's luggage to his room, and the carriage had been put away. “Congratulations on your new horse, Daniel.”

Daniel still didn't answer. He did not appreciate this one bit.

* * *

Only a few days after, it was Daniel's birthday. _Sixteen years old, but less independent than ever_ , he thought bitterly.

The servants were going at it in the kitchen, cooking up some grand dinner for a whole lot of people that Daniel didn't know, but apparently were coming to celebrate Daniel's birthday. He did not have any plans of participating, though.

Hazel had promised to cover for him for as long as she could. After showering and putting on the nice clothes the maid had put out for him, he looked in the mirror one last time. Finally he could see it; he had grown. His shoulders were broader, he was taller. The white straightened shirt fitted nicely around his hardened chest and arms. His trousers did not hang loose like earlier. He stood firm and straight, not looking so skinny any more.

Daniel studied himself in the mirror, running a hand through his long, brown locks. Slowly, a smile formed on his lips. He looked _handsome_. Serena was going to be impressed, he just knew. Grinning to himself, he went out of the door and made his way down the hallway.

Reaching the end of the corridor, he peeked around the corner by the large staircase leading down to the entrance hall, making sure that no one was in sight. The hall was completely empty. It was almost too easy.

He ran down the stairs, successfully sprinting across the hall to the door, and locking himself out without anyone seeing him. As he had expected, everyone would be too busy getting ready for the dinner to notice him sneaking out.

* * *

Daniel didn't tell Serena that he was supposed to be attending a dinner in his honour at home. She was glad to see him, obviously having feared that he wouldn't return in time for his birthday. “Oh my, Daniel!” she cooed when they settled down out on the meadow by the Blean; their usual spot. “You… You…”

“What?” Daniel chuckled as he sat down beside her in the grass. The sun was shining brightly, reflecting sparkles in the Stour. It was beautiful.

Serena blushed, straightening out Daniel's shirt, “You look so trimmed… Your clothes are nice, and you have really grown! You are so tall now, I barely reach your chin!”

Daniel smiled smugly. “Thank you. I've also been training, have you noticed?”

“Oh, I couldn't tell.” He nudged her shoulder so hard that she almost fell sideways into the grass. “Come on, Daniel, it was just a joke,” she laughed.

“Well, it wasn't very funny,” he mumbled, feeling slightly irritated. He found that he couldn't stay angry with his best friend for too long, though, and soon he was laughing along with Serena.

She sat up again, still smiling brightly at him. She looked different as well. When he first saw her, Daniel nearly dropped his jaw. The first thing, he had noticed, was her bust. Her chest area had grown a great deal, making her tiny waist look even smaller. Her face had matured, her hair gotten longer. She looked more like a woman than ever before.

Daniel smiled, feeling a warm sensation in his stomach. “You look very pretty, too.”

Serena's eyes widened and she blushed, obviously not having expected anything like that coming from Daniel. A small smile formed on her lips as she averted her gaze from the young man by her side, mumbling, “You know... Even though I meet so many fine gentlemen in London, I can't help but feel that none of them can compare to you.”

A tingle started right where the ball of warmth in his stomach had formed. Daniel held his breath, “Why not?”

“Why, because you're my friend, of course!” Serena said, laughing – though still without looking at him.

Daniel breathed out. He wasn't sure if that was what he had hoped to hear her say. Either way, at least he had succeeded in impressing her.

“Oh, by the way!” Serena said and started digging into her pocket, “I'm sorry that I didn't bring you any cupcakes this year... But I do have a gift for you.” He sat up straight, eyeing her curiously. Serena took something small out and handed it to him, “I know it's not much, but... I want this to remind you of me when we are apart.”

Daniel took the object. It was a locket. A silver heart hung on a delicate long chain. The design was simple, yet beautiful. The surface was flat, with the exception of a single curved line sprinkled with small silver jewels that followed along the right side of the heart.

“Open it!”

He glanced at her. She looked eager, but also a bit nervous. He focused his attention on the locket once again and clicked it open, revealing what was inside.

The insides were more intricate than the outside, with a lot of intertwining lines making out an abstract pattern. On the left side of the locket was an inscription. It said, _Always be together_. On the right side, there was a small image. He looked closer at it. It was a miniature painting.

“The whole family got their portraits done,” Serena said, blushing, “I asked if I could have just a small painting. The artist was very talented, and also kind. He made this small portrait on my request.”

A small signature of the artist, a Mr. Lionel Darcy, was visible in the right corner of the beautiful portrait, as well as the date of creation. Daniel looked at Serena; the painting resembled her, capturing a perfect moment of beauty. He couldn't think of anything better to remember her by. He put his arms around her, pulling her into a warm embrace. “Thank you so much. With this, I'll always have you close to me.”

Serena hugged him back, a warmth filling her deep within. “Happy birthday, Daniel.”

* * *

Daniel did not head home until it had become very late. The sun was almost down.

He had spent the whole day with Serena, feeling more happy than ever to be with her again. Even though he had met so many other beautiful young girls when he had gone out with his friends, they did not make him feel like he did when he was together with his best friend. He told her all about his new friends and the school – the good things, that was. He did not feel like telling her that he got caught in a brothel not too long ago; that certainly wouldn't make him very popular with the high class girl.

Seeing her having grown so much and having talked with the other boys about their experiences, he was starting to feel curious. She felt different when she leaned into his chest, and he suddenly became very conscious about where he placed his hands on her small frame. When he walked home, he felt so light that he thought he might be lifted off the ground any second. It wasn't until he stepped inside the mansion, he remembered that he had been supposed to attend his own birthday dinner.

“Where in heavens have you been?”

Daniel turned around. Henrietta stood by the entrance to the living room, her arms crossed and her brows furrowed together. Even though she appeared calm on the surface, there was no mistaking that she was furious.

The young man buried his hands in his pockets, looking at her expressionlessly. “Out.”

“You were supposed to attend the dinner,” Henrietta snapped, narrowing her eyes, “The great dinner that I planned for you. Important people of Canterbury – our _friends_ – came to celebrate you. Do you know how long they waited? Three hours. _Three hours_ they waited for you, and all the food became cold.”

“I apologise,” Daniel said, offering her nothing but a defiant look, “I forgot.”

He turned around and went up the staircase, going to his room. Henrietta was left standing, fuming with anger.

_Unappreciative, selfish **brat**._

 


	18. The Chase

Due to Serena being very busy with her family and whatnot, Daniel spent most of his time trying to finish the clubhouse. Even though he would have rather liked to focus his attention on Pride, he knew that he had been neglecting his project for too long and had to get back to it.

He only got to meet up with Serena once or twice every week. It was painful. He had yearned to see her again for so long, but it was almost even more unbearable to have her be only a short walk away from, yet unable to meet up anyway. At least he got a long way with the clubhouse, and Serena didn't suspect anything at all. It was perfect.

Sometimes, even when she had told him that she couldn't meet with him, he went to her house, just to see if he could catch a glimpse of her. He never did – but he saw a lot of other people, though, people that Daniel was certain wasn't part of her family.

It seemed that Serena was indeed very busy; her parents constantly had a lot of guests over, and there was never any peaceful moment at the large estate – at least not when Daniel occasionally went there to look for his friend. There was obviously a lot going on, and it seemed like not only Serena was stressed about it. One day, when Daniel once again found himself hiding behind the tall row of trimmed bushes that enclosed the garden, he heard a couple of female voices.

“Jem, give it back!” a blonde young woman, Daniel recognised as one of Serena's older sisters, yelled, “It's mine! I'm going to use it this evening!”

“But I wanted to use it, Regina! You promised that I could!” Jemma bit back, holding on to the object, the siblings were fighting about. It was a small but pretty hair clip.

Regina looked furious. “I never promised anything! I said you could use it if I wasn't going to! Stop being so childish all the time!”

In that moment, Serena's mother showed up in the door leading inside the house. She looked frustrated. “What are you two fighting about now? Can you just give her the hair clip back, Jemma, we don't have time for this!”

Jemma looked betrayed. “Why do you always side with Regina? It's so unfair!”

“You know that Mr. Sawyer will be coming over tonight! It's important that your sister looks her very best!” their mother said, her prominent South American accent very clear in her speech. She looked tired, but also about to lose her patience. Apparently all female members of Serena's family were very temperamental.

The younger sister looked ready to throw a tantrum – and she did. She threw the hair clip onto the ground, and her mother and sister looked at her in shock. “Fine, take it!” Jemma cried, “I don't want to use your ugly accessory anyway! You're all so mean!”

She ran into the house, while Regina yelled after her. “You're such a child! Why do you always act like this? Ugh!”

“Easy now,” Magdalena, the mother of the fighting sisters, said, “You know Jem. I don't want you two fighting any more. She just needs to calm down.”

Regina was so furious she was on the verge to tears. “I'm so tired of that behaviour! I know that she has difficulties, but it's exhausting! Especially when we are living with Father, it's just impossible to deal with when he and Susannah keeps spoiling Natasha!”

Daniel did not hear any more of the conversation, as they went inside the house. He was overwhelmed by the scene. If those kinds of fights were occurring on a daily basis at Serena's home, it was no wonder why the mood was always so strained. That would definitely take its toll on a young girl.

He decided that it would be better to leave. That had been very uncomfortable to witness. He couldn't help but wonder what kind of difficulties Jemma was facing, since it could cause the family so much frustration, and also who Susannah and Natasha were. Serena had never told him much about her family – Daniel just hoped that Regina and Jemma would make up soon, so that everything would be fine again.

* * *

Daniel was going to meet Serena today. It was the loveliest weather, and Daniel wanted to make sure that they used it to their advantage. “All right, Pride, you're looking all fine and groomed now,” Daniel said as he fixed the colt's bridle. Pride looked at him with calm, trusting eyes, his ears turned forward.

The boy smiled at his loving horse. “We're going to meet my friend today, so I also saddled Lady Margaret,” Daniel said, itching Pride between his ears, “You know, the mare you're so fond of. You like her, don't you?” Pride nudged Daniel's hand, encouraging him to fondle his muzzle. Daniel chuckled, feeling all warm inside. He had never had a pet before; he knew that a horse wasn't quite the same as a dog, but the loyalty and love shared were no different.

When riding along the riverside of the Great Stour, leading Lady Margaret the mare with him and Pride, he once again felt appreciative of the idyll of Canterbury's countryside. Even though he longed for moving to the big city of London, he knew that he would miss the calm atmosphere here. The meadow had always been his escape when the drunkenness of his father became too much.

He had intentionally decided to show up from an angle, Serena wouldn't be able to see from the place they had decided to meet up. When he came riding around the corner of the large trees by the outskirts of the Blean, Serena's eyes nearly rolled out of her head. “Daniel!” she exclaimed, “Whose horses are that?”

“Mine, of course!” Daniel said as he stopped and dismounted Pride while still holding on to the saddled mare, “Well, at least the colt is. This pretty girl here belongs to my parents.”

Serena got closer to the palomino horse, caressing the white muzzle. “She really is pretty,” Serena said, then looked at the brown young stallion by Daniel's side, “And you've gotten your own horse! That's incredible! He's really beautiful.”

“I take it that you know how to ride a horse?” Daniel chuckled, as he started to tighten the girth of Lady Margaret's saddle.

The younger girl looked at her friend with wide eyes. “Yes, but I can't ride her like this!” she blurted, “The saddle is completely wrong! It would require me to sit astride!”

Daniel looked at her thoughtfully. He hadn't thought about that, but it wasn't going to ruin what he had planned for the two of them. “So?” he said in a casual tone, merely continuing to make sure that all of Margaret's gear was fitted right.

“ _So?”_ Serena echoed, giving him a look of disbelief, “It's inappropriate, Daniel!”

“I don't see what the big problem is,” Daniel said, clapping Lady Margaret's hindquarters. Pride was tripping by his side, becoming impatient. “It's just me, there's nobody else around. No one is going to see you.”

“Well, no, but it's not decent for a lady to ride a horse in anything other than a side-saddle!” Serena argued, crossing her arms.

Daniel chuckled, shaking his head as he went to give his neglected horse some attention. “You're being way too prudish. You should try and relax.”

Serena stared at him with her mouth agape, but she was unable to keep a smile from forming on her lips. “ _Prudish?_ Me? Do you even know me?”

He looked at her with raised eyebrows and a wry smile, shrugging his shoulders. “I don't know. You tell me!”

The upper-class girl stared at him for a while, tapping her shiny leather half-boot against the grass. She looked like she was offended, yet amused all the same. Daniel tried to contain his laughter, giving her a challenging smile. At last Serena grabbed onto Margaret's reins, placed her foot in the stirrup and swung herself up on the mare. It did look a bit awkward at first, with Serena's long dress hanging down each side of Lady Margaret's flanks, but Serena managed to uphold an appearance of confidence as she sat straight and proud in the saddle.

Daniel laughed, eyeing his friend with an impressed look. “All right!” He mounted his own horse and placed himself beside Serena.

She looked down at her dress, showing small signs of discomfort. “I don't even know how to ride a horse like this,” she said, “I've never been taught anything else than the side-saddle. This feels … strange.”

“You'll get used to it,” Daniel said, “Don't think so much. I want to show you just how beautiful the countryside of Canterbury can be in the summer.” He turned Pride around and pushed him forward in a trot. “Come!” he called back to Serena, “Just press your legs against her flanks and give her a soft kick with your heel.”

Serena looked down at her horse, doing as Daniel said. As Margaret started moving forward, a relief suddenly washed over Serena by the realisation that she was taking a step, no other woman in her place of society would have dared. She smiled brightly, feeling renewed.

* * *

The day was perfect. Daniel had never felt so satisfied with one of his own ideas before. Serena sitting astride of Margaret really brought something out in her, as if she was freed of all her stress and frustration and pressure. She sparkled in the sunlight, and Daniel had never thought she looked more gorgeous.

They ran across the fields on their horses. Daniel struggled to keep Pride at bay, so he wouldn't go into a full-fledged sprint and outrun Lady Margaret – the poor mare would have no chance of keeping up with him. Beside him, he heard Serena's laughter above the sound of thundering hooves, and he turned his head to look at her, seeing the twinkling in her eyes and the bright smile on her face. It was a stunning sight.

Daniel never realised until now how beautiful Serena was. She emitted strong feelings of happiness, confidence and passion, and Daniel felt empowered. He suddenly realised how much he cared about her, and seeing her glowing under the bright sun like this, he actually saw her in a different light – in a sense that was more than literal.

Not even the unpredictable weather of England could keep them from enjoying the day. When the rain began pouring, they quickly sought shelter under a fully grown sycamore tree.

The rain was merciless. Even the horses couldn't endure it, so they kept under the cover of the wide crown. It really was raining cats and dogs. Serena laughed, “How are we supposed to get home now? If it keeps pouring like this, we'll be stuck here forever!”

Daniel leaned up against the trunk of the tree. “I wouldn't mind spending the rest of the summer right here under this tree, as long as I'm with you.”

Serena turned towards him, a wide, silly grin on her lips. “Oh, how charming you are, Daniel!” she laughed, “Does that line work with all the lasses?”

He nudged her shoulder with an irritated look as she laughed even harder. “Why do you always have to come up with some stupid remark when I'm trying to be nice?” he said, pouting, “What is even so great about all those _fine gentlemen_ in London, anyway?”

“Nothing! They all _pale_ in comparison to you!” Serena exclaimed loudly and made a grand exaggerated gesture with her hands, “Is that what you want me to say, Daniel?”

“You know, you're not even funny,” Daniel laughed and chased his friend up against the tree, tickling her. Serena began laughing hysterically, begging him to stop, but he completely ignored her protests. He didn't go at it for long, though, knowing that Serena wouldn't be able to endure his tickle-torture for an extended amount of time; it wasn't the first time he had punished her for her dumb comments.

When he stopped, Serena struggled hard to catch her breath again while still laughing, which only made it even more difficult to her. For a while Daniel just watched her while she giggled in between strained breaths, clutching her stomach. A small, delicate ribbon adorned her slender neck like a choker, something he had never seen her wear before; it seemed strikingly mature, giving her appearance a discreet suggestion of the woman, she was yet to become. He still had her caught up against the tree, and realising how close together they were standing right at this moment, he became curious.

Serena was still laughing, unable to calm down. It seemed that she had gotten a fit of laughter. It was cute. Her giggles were like music to Daniel's ears. Without thinking, words suddenly made their way up through his throat via his vocal cord, onto his tongue and out of his mouth, all by themselves.

“Can I kiss you?”

She kept laughing, her eyes closed, shaking her head. “I don't think my father would like that very much,” she said through soft chuckles, still unable to perceive anything around her other than the humour of the previous situation.

Daniel leaned closer, his forehead meeting hers. He could feel the warmth of her body against his chest. “No one has to know,” he said softly.

Slowly, Serena's laughter subsided. She kept her gaze low, standing completely still. Her body tensed, her quiet breath shaking.

He carefully leaned further into her, feeling her small frame tremble a bit by the touch that she was usually so accustomed to. He came closer to her bit by bit, hesitating for a short moment before he finally pressed his lips softly against hers.

It felt as if small fireworks went off within him. The tingle became an explosion of emotions that had longed to be released for a long time.

Her lips were soft and a bit moist. She stood completely still, just letting him do whatever he wanted. Their foreheads and noses gently bumped together in a brief moment, but he quickly learned and tilted his head. He moved his lips against hers in soft motions, experimenting with the touch, and after a bit of hesitation, he felt her dance along with him.

He gently placed a hand on her neck, right underneath her jawline, running his fingers through her long hair. The smell of the fresh, wet grass in the damp air as well as her sweet scent like vanilla sugar in Mrs. Philips' kitchen, or Henrietta's Damask rose incense back home in the living room, filled his nostrils. Feeling a bit more confident, he deepened the kiss, pressing his body against hers. The rapid beating of her heart against his chest, the warmth of her lower body against his own abdomen sent waves of strange, tickling sensations through him that made him tremble, but he refused to let go of her.

When she let out a soft moan, he parted his lips and let his tongue slide in between hers. She stiffened as he offered a tentative lick. Their teeth clashed against each other in an inexperienced attempt to get closer. He tilted his head even more and closed his mouth over hers, beginning his exploration.

This was like nothing he had ever experienced before, and although he didn't know what he had expected, this was definitely not it. Her taste was singular; he didn't know what it was, but it was sweet and luscious, perhaps the lingering flavour of whatever she had eaten for breakfast. He dug deeper into the hot, moist cave. Her warm, shivering breath in his mouth only fuelled his hunger even more.

Underneath the hand he had on her neck he felt her pulse going faster and faster. He gently ran his fingers down along the fair, golden skin to her collarbone and even lower. She shivered by the touch. He stopped right above her chest; he could feel her heart thump violently against his palm, as if it were about to burst.

He stood still for a moment, then pulled away. He gazed down at her collarbone to gather himself, feeling overwhelmed and panting slightly from the lack of air. His mind was a turmoil of impressions that he didn't let himself register; he only gave himself a second.

He leaned in to continue – but she turned her face away.

“The rain has stopped,” Serena said.

Daniel stopped in his tracks. It took a moment for him to process her words. He followed her gaze out to the wet landscape. Sure enough, the rain had stopped, leaving only dewy grass and humid air behind, and in the distance joyful birds were singing from the treetops of the Blean.

Daniel felt weird. It was as if he had just involuntarily been put on pause, and now he was left in a state of confusion.

While he was distracted by the strange feelings within him, Serena managed to wiggle out of his hold. She ran towards Margaret and mounted her in one quick movement. Turning towards Daniel, she looked as amused as she had before the events that had just transpired. She sent him a challenging smile.

“Catch me if you can!” were her mere words, before she sharply turned the mare around and pushed her forward in a gallop.

Daniel was left behind by the tree, completely disoriented – but he quickly decided with himself to put it aside for now, since Serena was only getting further and further ahead of him. He didn't have time to be confused about anything right now.

He ran over to Pride and swung himself up on his back, then kicked him in the sides, causing the stallion to set directly into a sprint after the girls. He was going to get her, even if he had to give in to a chase.

 


	19. Suspicious Behaviour

Daniel knew that he kept telling himself this every year, but this time around, he really didn't want Serena to go back to London.

They had said their goodbyes the previous day, but he came back to her house the day her family was going to leave, only because he had a small hope of seeing her again. As he stood hidden behind the large oak trees near the carriage driveway of the mansion, watching the servants load the several coaches with tons of luggage, he couldn't help but think about what had happened between him and his best friend.

Serena never mentioned anything. They had spent the rest of the summer vacation together as if nothing had happened – the only change was that she never really looked him in the eyes any more. It made him feel awful. He wanted her to at least acknowledge that it had happened. The fact that she just chose to purposely turn a blind eye to it made it even harder to deal with that she had to leave, and he wasn't going to see her for another year. Now he had to just try and forget about it, because apparently that was what she was doing.

Daniel felt stupid. He regretted it, yet he was glad he did it all the same. It had felt right. It had not been like with Rosetta or Natsumi, or all the other young ladies in Canterbury that had offered to take him home with them in the dead of the night. It wasn't strange, it had been familiar and safe and exciting – but the silence was simply torture! Couldn't Serena just tell him how she felt about it?

Finally the family itself came walking down the large porch steps of the mansion. Regina, whom Daniel had seen fighting with Jemma earlier that summer, looked very bitter. Jemma walked a distance behind her, staring straight down onto the ground. Serena was walking behind her, glancing at her older sisters with worry. The servants opened the door for them, and Regina and Jemma purposely chose separate coaches, Regina climbing into the front carriage after Magdalena and Hilmar. Katharina, the oldest of the siblings, sat with Regina and their parents, and Serena sat with Jemma.

The large group of servants climbed in with the youngest sisters and into the last of the carriages. Soon the horses started walking, and the coaches drove towards the main road.

Daniel could tell that the mood was strained between the family members. He really hoped that nothing too severe had happened. He did wonder why Serena hadn't told him about what was going on, though.

As the carriages strolled away towards London, he grabbed the locket Serena had given him for his birthday, clicked it open and glanced at the portrait inside. She really was becoming more beautiful as the years passed. He sighed and closed his eyes.

* * *

This time, Daniel wasn't going to sit around and wait for Serena to write the first letter. He was worried that if he didn't take action first, they might not even keep in touch at all throughout the year.

That didn't mean he was going to confront her, though – even though he wanted her to comment on what had happened, he also didn't feel ready to face it if she were to reject him. He wasn't completely sure what he really wanted her to say, but he knew that if he didn't hear from her again soon, he would go mad.

As soon as Serena had left Canterbury, he went home to write his letter. He couldn't wait till he was back at the school to send it. It had to be as soon as possible if he wanted a quick reply. While the servants of the house were packing his bags and getting ready for his leave to the boarding school, he sat and concentrated hard on getting the letter done. It was even harder to write this than when he had tried to comment on all the attention Serena received from other men. It took him hours to write the perfect letter that didn't make him feel like he was making himself too vulnerable.

Only when it was almost dinnertime, he finished. Daniel sighed, as he read through it with tired eyes.

 

_Dearest Serena,_

_I know that I'm writing to you very soon. It's just that I am already missing you. This summer was unforgettable, and I hope you feel the same way. I will keep your locket close to me at all times._

_I long more than ever to go to London. Not because this place is awful, but because I want to be close to you. I feel like this year is going to be unbearable. I want to keep writing letters to you as often as possible, so that I can feel that you are not too far away. I hope that you won't be too busy with the fine gentlemen of London to write to me a bit more often than usual._

_I can't wait to hear from you again, I want to know all about what you're doing in the big city. I'll be waiting right here for you. The summer can't arrive soon enough._

_Yours faithfully,_

_Daniel J. Wilkinson_

 

Even though he was still putting a great deal of his emotions on display, he didn't know any other way to make the letter seem relevant. He couldn't tell her about what had happened since she left, since it had only been a day. Besides, it wasn't unusual for the two of them to proclaim how much they cared about and missed each other, so he guessed it wouldn't be too much.

He folded the letter and put it in an envelope. As he went down the grand staircase and crossed the main hall, headed for the front door, of course he was stopped by no other than the hag.

“Where are you going?”

Daniel sighed. He should have been used to this by now, but it still irritated him to no end. Why did she always have to meddle in his business? He never demanded to know what she was doing. He really didn't care.

He did not even turn around. “To the town.”

“What for?” Henrietta said, crossing her arms. As far as she knew, there was no reason for Daniel to be going into town – no other than going to the school, but he didn't have to go before early in the morning the following day. What kind of business could her stepson have in the Canterbury centre that she didn't know about?

“... Grocery shopping,” he mumbled, having placed his hand on the door handle. He still didn't look at her.

Henrietta raised a brow sceptically. “We have a maid for that kind of trivialities, Daniel.”

The young man snapped and looked at her. “My personal life does _not_ concern you, Henrietta!” he snapped and pulled the door open, then slamming it behind him.

She stared at the door, not bothering to try and go after him or scold him. She knew that it was useless. The stallion could not be tamed.

* * *

The next day, both Daniel and Pride were off to the King's School. Hazel sat in her room, looking out the window at the driveway as the carriage strolled away into town. The beautiful colt her brother had received was fastened to the back of the coach. He trotted after it, swinging his elegant head back and forth in energetic swipes.

The young girl sighed. She had always wanted to learn how to ride a horse ever since she started helping the Philips out with their first Thoroughbreds. Daniel had never even been interested in equestrianism until just recently, but he already had gotten his very own colt. It wasn't fair.

Hazel felt bad about envying her older brother. She knew he never asked for it, but she just couldn't help it. She felt so neglected; even though she had done nothing but long for Daniel to return home for the vacation, she found that it didn't really matter if he was here or at the school – he didn't spend time with her, anyway. It was all about Serena now.

She mentally slapped herself. It was so selfish of her to feel this way. She was supposed to be happy for him. He seemed to be doing a lot better, even though he still didn't like Henrietta. But with Daniel being out and making friends in the real world, what would become of Hazel? She never thought it would ever be something to worry about, but it seemed that her greatest fear was about to come true; Daniel was forgetting about her.

Hazel couldn't keep a sob back. Her eyes became moist, and soon salt liquid ran down her flushed cheeks. She quickly wiped the tears away when suddenly the door to her room opened. The small girl looked up in surprise from her seat by the window. It was Henrietta.

“Are you already missing your brother, Hazel?” she said as she strode into the room, her fine dress dragging across the carpeted floor.

Hazel nodded silently. The woman sat down in the armchair across from her. She looked out of the window, keeping quiet for a while. Hazel could tell that she wanted something. She did not just come to her room to chat.

When Henrietta didn't say anything for a while, Hazel broke the silence, “Why is Father almost never home?”

“He is working so hard with the shop,” Henrietta merely said without removing her gaze from the landscape outside, “He has to support us, Hazel. What other way would we be able to maintain our way of life?”

“I-I know, but…” Hazel said, feeling as if she had asked something horrible, “I just … miss him...”

Henrietta finally looked at her stepdaughter. Hazel felt small under her gaze. “Your father is a good man,” she said, “I just wish his son could be as virtuous and show some appreciation.”

“Daniel?” Hazel blurted, her bright green eyes becoming wide, “What do you mean? Daniel is very virtuous!”

The woman scoffed, looking out the window once again. “Would you really say that staying away from a grand dinner prepared in honour of you is virtuous, Hazel?”

Hazel's cheeks flushed. That had been embarrassing. It was hard to defend Daniel when he went ahead and did something like that. Their father was furious. It was fortunate that Daniel and John didn't get around to see each other at all during the summer vacation, or else Daniel would have had it really bad. “N-no, not quite... But Daniel is a good person,” she said, “He is thoughtful and noble and smart, and he's also kind and has a big heart...”

“He is disrespectful and selfish,” Henrietta retorted.

Hazel lowered her gaze. Henrietta's sharp look was almost painful. “He is doing his best...”

Henrietta narrowed her eyes, tapping her long fingernail against the armrest of the chair. After a while, she stood up and went to leave the room. “I am impressed by your faith in him. But in his utter self-interest, he has forgotten about you as well, Hazel. Don't be delusional.”

The door slammed.

* * *

Arriving back at the school this time around didn't feel as scary as the previous year. Daniel knew exactly who to look for and where to go to find them. They all cheered when they saw him again. “Daniel, I checked just now, and we are going to be room mates this year!” Owen said. That was the best news, Daniel had heard in a long time.

After settling in their rooms and meeting up for the dinner assembly and Headmaster Wallace's start-of-the-year speech, the group of friends sat down together in the common room, and Daniel got to hear all about their trip to Northamptonshire.

Through hearing all of their exciting stories about the sport, the ladies and the culture, Daniel couldn't keep from smiling. Not because he was happy for them – though he was – but because he knew that despite the amazing summer his friends had spent together, he didn't regret staying behind in Canterbury. He had experienced something he didn't want to trade in for any of their adventures; his very first kiss.

But he didn't tell them. They thought that he had already gone all the way in the brothel. It would be better to keep it that way.

Later in the evening, all the boys went to their rooms and prepared for the following very first day of the school year. Lying down in his bed, Owen laughed. “Oh, Daniel! It was so much fun! I really wish that you had been there with us!” he said and turned to look at the bed across the room, “Why did you have to stay in Canterbury?”

Daniel cuddled into the duvet. “Don't feel sorry for me. I had a nice time, too!”

His friend smiled knowingly, “Oh, so you met someone?”

“In a way,” Daniel said, hugging his pillow. He averted his gaze to the burning candle. It left the room in a soft light, offering a cosy, warm atmosphere. It was nice.

He dug into the collar of his shirt, pulling out the locket. The flame of the candle reflected itself in the shiny surface.

“Where did you get that?”

Daniel looked up. Owen was eyeing the locket curiously, reaching a hand out, “Can I see it?”

He blushed and put the locket away in his shirt again. He didn't think that Owen would notice. “Preferably not. It's … private.”

“Who gave it to you? Did you receive it this summer?” Owen asked, warm eyes glinting in the candlelight. He resembled a fluffy puppy with the mess of brown curls that made up his hair – but Owen had also matured. Daniel hadn't noticed while they had spent nearly every day together for the past year, but after being apart for a couple of months, it was obvious.

“I did,” Daniel said and offered Owen a smile, “I got it from a friend. It was a birthday gift.”

“You told me you didn't have any other friends,” Owen said, confusion apparent in his face.

Daniel clutched the locket through his shirt. “I don't.”

_She's not just a friend any more._

* * *

Things quickly got back into the old routine, and the weeks flew by – before Daniel knew of it, it was October.

Serena still hadn't replied to his early letter, but he didn't worry too much about it right now. He kept himself busy with homework, his friends and the regular training he did with Christopher, so it didn't bother him at the moment. He did feel a little nervous when he began pondering about it, but he always shoved the thoughts aside again.

Early on in the month, Timmy decided to drag Owen, Harvey and Daniel with him out to the town after school to try out some of the new cake by the local café. Daniel made it clear to them from the very start that he really didn't have any money, though – he had been given a bit of pocket money to spend, but he refused to use any of it due to it being Henrietta's – but the other boys insisted on paying on his behalf. The cake was delicious, even in spite of it being bought with someone else's money. It certainly would've tasted worse if it was bought with Henrietta's.

Later, they merely walked around, enjoying the last couple of hours before they had to return to the school for the curfew. It was nice, just strolling along the city streets and talking about anything they could think of.

Daniel never saw it coming.

As they walked around a corner, he caught sight of a familiar face. The sturdy blond and him made eye contact, and before Daniel could tell the others to turn around, his arm was caught in a firm grip.

“Hello, Daniel,” Henry said with a voice as sweet as honey, “It's been a long time.”

“Do you know this person, Daniel?” Timmy said, eyeing the stranger curiously. The mysterious boy was even taller than the lanky redhead.

Daniel felt the panic spread and his arm instinctively tensed in Henry's grasp. He tried his hardest to keep his face calm, staring Henry back in his marshy eyes.

Henry offered Daniel's friends a very fake smile. “Don't mind me, Daniel and I are old friends,” he said. Daniel felt the grip around his arm tighten more. “I just want to borrow him for a minute, it won't take long.”

Before any of them could ask any further questions, Henry dragged Daniel along with him down the street and around a corner into an empty alley. Daniel's pulse immediately sped up, fearing a beating coming his way, but Henry was not having any of his violent streaks today, it seemed. “You thought I forgot about you, huh?” Henry snarled, giving Daniel a hard shove to his chest, “You can't get rid of me that easily. I see that you are still spending time with that upper-class girl.” He snorted, “When are you going to give up?”

He reached out for Daniel's collar, almost strangling the younger boy with the force which he pulled the locket out of his shirt. Daniel grabbed his wrist, “Let go, Henry!”

Henry did not let go. He managed to open the silver heart and take a glance at the small portrait inside, before Daniel ripped it out of his hands. He let out a scornful laughter, “Don't tell me you're actually in love with her! Surely, you know that she will never want anyone like you?”

“Shut it!” Daniel barked in a fit of fury, “You don't know anything about our relationship!”

“ _ **There is no relationship, Daniel!”**_ Henry roared back, grabbing Daniel's collar again, “At least, there won't be any if you don't watch your disgusting mouth! I've still got this on you, so you better choose your words wisely!”

Daniel glared at Henry with nothing but utter resentment. The vile boy was right. If he didn't think twice, Henry might tell on him and Serena. He could not allow that to happen, especially not after what had happened in the summer vacation – Daniel couldn't be sure what Henry had seen. “What do you want, Henry?” he mumbled through clenched teeth.

Henry chuckled and let go of Daniel's shirt. “Now that you know your place, we can talk business. I need you to seize some of that _wealthy_ fortune of yours for me.”

Daniel did not like the way Henry blatantly emphasised the word _wealthy_ , as if it was something he should feel bad about. But the whole idea Henry was presenting was in general not comfortable in any way. “Are you completely mad?” he said, “How am I supposed to get you any money? I don't have access to that so-called 'fortune'! It's not mine, it belongs to my stepmother!”

“I'm sure you're crafty enough to figure something out,” Henry said, walking closer and putting his face very close to Daniel's. His stinky breath was worse than ever before. “Or else, you know what is on the line here, Danny. Don't disappoint me.” Before Daniel could answer, the broad boy turned around and walked away with quick steps, leaving the younger man alone in the alley.

He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. He really wanted to just scream or kick something. In the end, he slammed his fist against the brick wall, regretting it instantly afterwards when the pain shot up through his arm.

How was he supposed to do what Henry expected of him? He couldn't ask for money, there was no way he would ever concede to Henrietta like that; his pride would never let him. Besides, she and John would probably question him about what he needed it for.

But Henry was practically blackmailing him. If Daniel didn't yield to his cruel demands, he would tell everyone about Serena. There was nothing he could do – he had no choice but to steal from his stepmother.

The frustration of the situation was brutal. It took him a while to gather himself to go find the others. Fortunately, they had not moved too far away from where they had been left by Daniel and Henry. When they saw him coming their way, the questions washed over him.  
“Daniel, who was that?”

“What did he say to you?”

“Are you all right? You look pale!”

Daniel just dismissed the questions, telling them that Henry was indeed just an old acquaintance and nothing more. He really wished that it was that simple.

* * *

Finally, the house was quiet. Hazel was sleeping in her room, John was in the shop, working as usual, and Henrietta was nowhere to be seen, so Daniel figured that she wasn't home.

For the first part of the autumn half term, Daniel had done nothing but wait for the right moment. When it had been obvious that the house would be too busy, he just went out to the Blean and worked on Serena's clubhouse. There had been a bit of an argument when he had returned home; he hadn't seen John at all during the summer vacation, but the artisan was still furious about his son not attending the birthday dinner. Daniel figured that his anger was mostly Henrietta's doing.

Now that John apparently had the studio in town fixed up and ready to go, Daniel also had to come and help out occasionally – fortunately not too often, as John had hired his own workers. That really was some of a step forward, but even though Daniel was happy to be free of the chores in the studio, he didn't like how John seemed to depend so much on Henrietta's money – but then again, here he was, desperately needing it himself, so wasn't he a hypocrite.

Daniel's initial thought was that the fortune would be hidden in a safe in the master bedroom. He waited to see if anyone would show up before he silently tiptoed out of his room and made his way down the hall. He managed to get into the room unnoticed and silently closed the door behind him, sighing in relief. His heart beat like mad; he had expected Henrietta to show up any moment. He gathered himself and began carefully roaming around the room, trying not to make a mess.

After rummaging around for almost fifteen minutes, he began to grow increasingly more nervous. He couldn't find anything. No safe. No money. _I have to get out of here soon_ , Daniel thought, fearing that someone might barge in any moment.

Just then, when he was just about to give up and leave the bedroom, he finally found something that might be useful. It was Henrietta's jewellery box. It was placed in a chest barely noticeable behind a desk, along with other accessories for dressing; John's ties, socks and hats, and Henrietta's brooches and hair clips.

Daniel didn't bother to take the box out of the chest. The lock wasn't easy to pick, but he got it open. Inside were beautiful necklaces, earrings and bracelets made up of diamonds and gems. They were probably worth a lot. Maybe this would satiate Henry's greed, and Daniel was sure Henrietta wouldn't miss a few pieces; she already had more than enough.

He sat for a while, pondering which ones she probably wouldn't notice were missing. It was fortunate that he had placed himself on the floor on the other side of the bed.

“What are you doing in here?”

Daniel nearly had a heart attack. He closed the lid of the jewellery box and stood up in a flash.

Henrietta stood in the doorway, staring at him with wide eyes, a deep frown wrinkling her tight forehead. She looked as if she didn't know whether to be angry or shocked. “You're not supposed to be here. What do you think you're doing?”

His mind was working at full throttle to the point that he could feel his temples pulse. Quickly, he made up a lie, “I was looking for my father's cravat.”

She kept silent for a moment. “His _cravat?”_

Daniel nodded, hoping that she didn't notice how tense he was. “Yes. I made it for him myself. For his birthday a few years ago.”

Henrietta placed her hands on her hips, raising one sharp eyebrow, “What do you need it for?”

“Trying it out, of course.”

“Do you even know how to tie a cravat?”

Daniel fell silent. He could feel the blood run to his cheeks. He moistened his lips before answering, “I'll … figure it out.”

Henrietta scanned him up and down. It did not seem like she bought it. He prayed that she would just stop her questioning and let him go. He couldn't bear this, he didn't know how much longer he could keep a straight face.

“Do you have his permission to borrow it?” she said at last.

Daniel fisted his hands. “I made it myself!”

“But it is not yours. You gave it to your father.”

He felt his blood boil. How dared she? He sewed it with the help of his mother's old tailoring books. He was certain that John wouldn't even care if he took it for himself. His father never used it any more, not now that he had a whole bunch of new, expensive ties.

“Whatever!” Daniel spat and walked past Henrietta out of the room. He nearly shoved her aside, but he managed to behave himself – just barely.

Henrietta watched him as he walked down the hall. Instead of going to his room, he went down the stairs and out the front door. The young man slammed it hard behind him; then everything was quiet.

That boy really had a bad temper. It would not do to have him behave like that any more. What would the townspeople think of their family? Henrietta didn't want to think about it.

She glanced back into the room again. Daniel hadn't closed the lid on the chest. Walking closer, she noticed something odd. The jewellery box's lock was broken.

* * *

Daniel was never at home. Henrietta didn't know where he went most of the time, and that nagged her to no end. He told her that he went to go and help his father, and that would have been very nice if it were true.

John told her that Daniel had only spent three days of the half term with him in the studio so far. She kept quiet about her suspicions to her husband, though; with the rebellious young man being out of the house so much, she had the perfect chance to go investigate his room, just like he apparently had done hers.

She silently closed the door behind her, leaving only a small gap in the door frame. She strode across the floor as smoothly as a snake, her quick steps directly headed for the boy's desk. She stopped in front of it, letting her hand caress the surface, dragging it down the side until her hand reached the drawer. With a firm grip, she opened it.

There was nothing there. Only clear sheets of paper, envelopes, pens and ink. It was ridiculous that a young man would need so many resources to write.

She opened the other drawers, but none of them proved to contain anything of interest. She mentally scoffed and moved to explore his chest of drawers, and afterwards his wardrobe, his bed and the space underneath it. There was nothing.

The boy was clever. He might not have hidden whatever he needed to hide in the house. Or else she was overlooking something.

Henrietta turned her gaze towards the wooden floor, right beside the bed stand. She took a few steps in that direction, stopping when she heard one of the boards creak slightly more than the others beneath her. She crouched down by the board, staring at it intently. Something was off here, she knew. Her fingers ran along the groove.

“Henrietta?”

Henrietta glanced up in a start. Hazel stood in the doorway, clutching her plush bunny tightly.

“My head hurts... And I feel sore in my throat and chest... Can I please have my medicine?” the young girl said, rubbing her eyes. They were completely bloodshot.

The woman quickly stood up, eyeing her stepdaughter with wariness. The small girl just looked at her with her wide, puffy eyes. It didn't seem like she had noticed anything suspicious.

She offered the girl a smile. “Of course, Hazel. I'll tell Miss Turner to prepare it right away. Let's go to the living room and do some needlework together, shall we?” Henrietta put her hand on Hazel's back, leading her out of Daniel's bedroom without even looking back at the wooden floor by the bed stand.

Hazel stole a glance back at the board, though. That had been a really close call. Henrietta had almost found Serena's letters to Daniel. It was lucky that she had felt the need to ask for her pain-reliever right now of all times.

Hazel didn't notice Henrietta's vigilant eyes.

* * *

So, the first plan didn't work out.

Daniel was very irritated. This would not do, there was no way he would be able to sneak into his parents' bedroom again – it was much too risky. How was he supposed to get the money, Henry demanded?

There was nothing he could do about it right now. He just had to do the best he could. So he ended up taking a sculpture from his father's studio instead. He really felt awful about it. It was a sculpture his father had spent a lot of time on; it depicted a cherub standing tall and proud, holding a large orb above its head. It had only been finished just last week. The marble that it was cut out from had been very expensive, so it was going to be costly.

Hopefully his father wouldn't lose his temper with one of the innocent workers when he realised that it was gone. Daniel felt even worse when thinking about it, but he comforted himself with the fact that at least now he had a means of keeping his secret.

Unfortunately, Henry wasn't satisfied.

“What do you suppose I do with this?” the blond roared, making a violent gesture with the sculpture in his hands, “It's just some stupid statue! I can't buy opium with this!”

Daniel was about to beg Henry to be careful not to break the cherub, but was caught off guard by Henry's words. He looked at the older boy with obvious confusion. “What in the world do you need opium for?”

That was apparently the wrong question to ask. Henry's face turned completely red. He shoved Daniel hard and roared into his face, _“_ _ **What's it to you?**_ We made a deal! If you can't get me the money, I can't keep quiet! Easy as that! I could go to your parents right now and tell them all about your girlfriend!”

Daniel's eyes widened with anxiety. He grabbed around Henry's wrist, “Please don't, Henry! It's made out of marble, and the carving is exquisite! You can sell it at a very high price, I promise you!”

The sturdy boy was just about to shove the younger man away again, but then he calmed down and thought about what he said. Daniel bit his lip, hoping so deeply that Henry would accept what he was able to offer right now. Henry narrowed his eyes, then lowered his arms again. “All right, then. I certainly hope you're right.”

Daniel felt a great sense of relief wash over him and his body finally relaxed. He let out a sigh, but he barely got to finish it before he was harshly gripped by the collar yet again. “But next time, you better come up with something better than this!” Henry spat, growling like some wild animal, “Or else you'll have to give up your precious lady!”

He let go of Daniel again so suddenly that the latter almost fell onto the ground. Henry turned around and walked away, leaving Daniel feeling like he was on the death row, waiting for his inevitable execution.

* * *

Daniel didn't return home until late that evening; Henry always wanted to meet in the dead of the night, shaded from any unwelcome eyes.

He was completely exhausted. It had been a long day doing chores at home, training with Pride, working on Serena's clubhouse and finally sneaking into the studio and getting the cherub sculpture – and that in itself had been a lengthy procedure. His plan had been to go to bed as soon as he came home, but when he went to his room, a low whistle grabbed his attention. He turned around.

“Daniel, can you please come to my room?” Hazel whispered from her door in the other end of the hall.

Daniel leaned up against his door and sighed. “I'm sorry, Hazel, I'm too tired to read you a fairytale tonight...”

Hazel shook her head frantically. “It's not that!” she said under her breath, “It's important, Danny!”

He didn't notice the worry in her eyes until now. He frowned, then took a quick glance around. When he was sure that no one was watching them, he took a few fast-paced steps towards Hazel and let himself into her room. As soon as he had closed the door behind him, Hazel took his hand and seated him in her bed beside herself. “What's wrong, Hazel?” Daniel asked.

“It's Henrietta,” she said in a hushed voice, “She was in your room. I think she knows. You have to hide your letters another place. She was really close to finding them, but I distracted her.”

Daniel's eyes widened. “ _Blasted woman!”_ he hissed, fisting his hands, “Why does she keep meddling with my things... You're right, I can't keep Serena's letters in the house any more.”

“But where do you plan to hide them then?” Hazel said, glancing at her brother with worry. He looked so frustrated. It did not suite her loving brother's handsome face.

“I... I'll figure something out,” he said, his brows furrowed close together, “Thanks for telling me, Hazel.”

* * *

Before going back to the school, Daniel hid all things related to Serena out in the unfinished clubhouse – including the locket. Owen had already noticed it, and Henry as well. He was sorry he couldn't keep the promise about keeping it close to him that he had made to Serena, but he had to take the measures necessary.

There was still no letter from Serena. This was worrying. It had already been almost three months. He had sent it early for a reason, and usually she replied around October at the latest. When he returned to the school, the only thing he could think about was why he hadn't heard from her. It was frustrating. When homework was finished, he would find himself roaming the school grounds, just obsessing over why she didn't write.

He was even too distracted to socialise. The other boys asked him if he wanted to go with them out to town or play a game of skittles, but he always said he wasn't in the mood. Not until Harvey, being the oldest member of their group, turned seventeen in early November, did he finally manage to put his distress aside.

The whole group sneaked out once again. Daniel thought they wouldn't dare any more after getting caught in the brothel, but Everett insisted that if they just stuck to the pubs and bars, everything would be fine. It was fun; Harvey got incredibly drunk, as everybody kept insisting that he should drink more and more. Daniel laughed so much his jaw hurt. The ladies circled around him; he had become almost as popular as Christopher.

But he didn't dance.

It wasn't because the girls weren't attractive. Some of them were very pretty, in fact. They were desperate for his attention. He smiled and played along for a bit – but his thoughts were a completely different place.

Would she just answer already?

 


	20. Another Fall of the Star

It seemed that the first part of the academic term went all too fast; suddenly it was December, and the whole of Canterbury was in a Christmas state of mind, the King's School being no exception.

The tradition was that every Advent, the headmaster would light up the large Advent wreath that the younger students of the school had spent the past week decorating. Daniel had seen it last year, and it was a nice little ceremony, though most of the seniors thought that it was completely unnecessary – and Daniel, too, agreed that the tradition was probably mostly directed at the children.

Everett was one of those older students who found the event terribly boring, dreading going through it every Sunday of December. So he thought of a way to spice it up a bit.

It sounded like a fun plan, but Daniel didn't actually consider seriously doing it. But everyone else apparently thought it was a great idea, and they insisted that Everett should realise it. Daniel tried to talk them out of it with no luck.

“I don't think it's a good idea,” he said, frowning, “Especially not considering we got caught in a brothel not even a year ago. It would be too bold to do anything like that, we might really get expelled this time around! Besides, isn't it a little mean?”

Timmy was the one to defend Everett's idea, not wanting to miss out on a great stunt, “Come on, Daniel, don't be so boring! It's not mean, we're just going to have a little fun!”

“But Daniel is right,” Everett said thoughtfully, “It's a big risk if we get caught.”

“Are you seriously saying that you're too scared to go through with a prank?” Owen said, his eyes wide with shock.

Christopher added with an amused grin, “That's not like you at all, Everett.”

Everett shook his head, smiling back at his friends deviously, “Of course not, guys. I just thought that we should be more careful. And that's why I think Daniel should do it.”

“W-what?” Daniel blurted, looking up from the anthology of poems, he was currently reading.

Everett patted his shoulder. “Don't be so modest, Dan, you know just as well as we that you are the most sneaky and clever of all of us. With you as our kingpin, it's certain that we won't get caught.”

In Daniel's opinion, Everett was much more sneaky than he could ever wish to be. But he barely got to argue as the others instantly agreed and pleaded for Daniel to do it.

“Come on, Daniel! It could be really fun!”

“Imagine Wallace's face!”

“Please, or else it will be so incredibly boring going through that ceremony! You're our only hope!”

Daniel looked around at all of their wide puppy eyes, his heart dropping all the way down to his stomach.

Someone placed a hand on his shoulder, and he turned to look at the person; it was Harvey. “Listen, I am about to be turned into a monitor, so I have access to the dining hall. I can get you in and make sure that no one notices you!”

The doubt nagged Daniel. He really didn't want to do this. But the others kept staring at him, and in the end he couldn't bear their pleading looks any more.

“All right. I'll do it.”

* * *

Late in the evening after dinner, the day right before the first Sunday of Advent, Daniel sneaked out to the main building to go through with the plan. Harvey had told him that he would make sure that the door to the dining hall would be unlocked, so that he could enter without any obstacles.

There was completely silent. Only muffled voices from the common room could be heard, but it was way down the hall. Daniel slipped in unnoticed, just like Harvey had promised, clutching the bottle of chemical liquid in his hands.

It was unnerving. Every time he heard distant laughter or footsteps, he jumped. He really didn't want to get expelled or have his parents know about any of this, so it would be a nightmare if anyone found him here, doing shady business.

Daniel quickly paced down the hall, determined to just get the work over and done with. The Advent wreath had been placed on the large table up front earlier this week. It was larger than an average wreath, with tall candles, and it was nicely decorated with all kinds of Christmas cuttings and ornaments made by the young pupils.

He stood for a moment, speculating which candle might be lit first. The candles weren't numbered, so it was impossible to tell. The only thing he could do was guess, but then the candle might not react until the last Sunday of Advent, and Daniel was certain that Everett didn't want to wait that long.

He bit his lip and frowned – but then he suddenly heard a door open in the distance, and footsteps clicked loudly and fast down the hall.

Daniel felt his heart skip a beat, and made a fast decision; he turned the lid of the bottle in his hands and poured the explosive liquid on all of the four candles, not bothering to economise on it. When the last drop had fallen, he hid the bottle underneath the table, then ran back down the dining hall in a flash.

For a moment, he thought that he could make it. It seemed like the footsteps had disappeared. But then, when he was about to grab the door handle, it suddenly turned by itself – and Mr. Martins stepped inside.

Daniel stopped right before he bumped into the vice-principal. Martins' eyes widened, “Mr. Wilkinson! What in the world are you doing in here?”

The young man tried to remain composed, but his heart told a completely different story. He managed to force out a few words fast, “I, uh, was hungry.”

Mr. Martins raised a sceptic brow. “You know that food is only served during the meal times, Mr. Wilkinson. This is not a restaurant. I suggest you go back to your room; it's late and there will be the Advent tradition early tomorrow morning.”

“Y-yes,” Daniel stuttered, hoping that the Headmaster's assisting worker didn't notice the sweat drops running down his face, “I will, Mr. Martins. I apologise.”

The boy walked around the authoritative man, putting much effort into avoiding his gaze. He just wanted to get out of here as quickly as possible. Maybe he could get away with the guilt.

“Daniel!”

He bit his lip hard, clenching his eyes close together. “Yes, Mr. Martins?”

“Was the door unlocked when you entered the dining hall?” Martins said.

Daniel turned around, feeling bewildered. The stocky man scratched himself behind his ear, looking just as confused as Daniel felt – but about something else, obviously.

He stood for a moment, processing the question. With cautiousness, he answered, “Um... It was, sir.”

Mr. Martins nodded and turned his gaze to the door again, placing his hands on his hips and getting an irritated expression on his face. The annoyance was not directed at Daniel, though. “I see. I know that I told Shelton to lock it! I guess that if you want the job done, you just have to do it yourself.”

He looked at Daniel again, offering a smile. “Thanks, Daniel. You can go to your room now.”

Daniel stared at him for a moment, unable to believe that he had actually just gotten away with what he had done. He blinked once, then quickly bowed his head, “Of course! Goodnight, Mr. Martins!” Then he turned around and hurried back to his room without looking back.

* * *

The next morning, all students were assembled in the dining hall for the yearly Advent tradition. The first candle was going to be lit today, but not before Headmaster Wallace had held a speech, thanking the young students of King's School for a good job and praising the school spirit.

“Are you completely sure you poured enough on it?” Timmy whispered, his whole being trembling with excitement.

Daniel scoffed, “Believe me, it's enough. I used the whole bottle.”

“Oh, I hope it won't be dangerous, though,” Harvey said, frowning, “The prank might be fun and harmless in theory, but if the joke goes too far...”

“Don't worry so much, old chap,” Everett said and patted Harvey's back; perhaps a bit too hard, as Harvey nearly dropped his glasses.

Owen turned towards his room mate with a wide smile planted on his face. “It's really admiring that you actually went through with this. You're so brilliant, Daniel!”

Daniel smiled, but he couldn't help feeling that this wasn't going to end well. Harvey might be right; what if the chemical was dangerous?

“And so I would just once again like to point out what an incredible job our youngest comrades did with the Advent wreath,” Headmaster Wallace said, “Give the boys a hand!”

Everyone clapped, as the small boys up by the front table blushed and bowed their heads. Daniel felt the guilt gnaw.

“And now,” Wallace continued as soon as the applause died down, “Let's light up the first candle! Christ is coming, and we will let him into our hearts and our homes!”

Wallace turned towards the first tall candle, lighting up a matchstick. The room was completely silent.

Daniel looked around at his friends. They all held their breaths in anticipation, following the fire of the match with their eyes. The only thing, Daniel could sense, was the rapid beating of his heart. He looked up at the front table.

The fire caught on to the wick. For a split second, everything seemed peaceful. Then the candle exploded.

* * *

The prank was not as harmless as Everett had insisted it would be. It caused a lot of chaos.

Luckily, no one was too badly injured. Wallace himself got away with the sheer shock and a burn mark on his hand. One of the small boys hurt his cheek, but it was nothing more than that.

The whole school laughed furiously at the incident; even Daniel couldn't contain his laughter, especially not when seeing the look on the Headmaster's face that had been completely smeared in black. The wreath that the young boys of King's School had spent so much time on was tossed out. It was too destroyed after the explosion, and there still were clear trails of the chemical left on it.

The board of governors immediately suspected Daniel's group of friends; apparently, they already had a history of doing these kind of tricks. Just like Owen had mentioned, Everett and Christopher often challenged each other to do pranks on the other students and professors, and that did not go unnoticed. They had gained themselves some of a reputation.

Daniel had expected Everett to confess that it was his idea. He had pressured Daniel to do it, and he was the one who had promised that it would be harmless and no one would ever know.

But he was completely wrong.

Already the day after the interrogation of Everett, Christopher, Timmy and Owen – the most infamous tricksters of the school – Daniel was called in to Wallace's office.

The worry immediately started to nag him. Was he about to be punished, even if it wasn't his idea? And what about his friends, what would happen to them? What about Everett?

Walking into the office, he immediately said, “Sir, can I please say something?”

Wallace glanced at his employees assisting him in the interrogation, then said, “Speak up, son.”

“Please don't be too harsh on him,” Daniel began, “I know Everett meant no harm. He just wants to make us laugh. He's a good boy, I swear- !”

“Everett?” Wallace interrupted, frowning at Daniel, “This has nothing to do with the young Mr. Hammond, my dear Daniel.”

Daniel fell silent, letting the words sink in for a moment. “Oh. What, then?”

“This is about _you_ , Mr. Wilkinson!” Wallace's secretary, Mr. Gibbs, blurted. He looked furious.

 _Me?_ Daniel thought.

“How dare you pull such an act? Your Headmaster is unable to use his right hand now! Do you find that amusing, Wilkinson?” another man of the board added. Admittedly, Daniel did not recognise all of them.

“You should be expelled! To be so disrespectful, it's obscene!”

“Completely unacceptable! What do you think your parents will say?”

“You're a disgrace!”

“Please, gentlemen,” the Headmaster said. Immediately, the other men fell quiet. Wallace continued, “Harsh words are hardly necessary. I'm sure that Mr. Wilkinson grieves over what he has done plenty already.”

Daniel felt confused. If this was still about the explosion, then why was Everett irrelevant? It was his idea!

Wallace looked at Daniel with something even worse than anger – disappointment. “I am sure you meant no harm, Daniel, and your grades are excellent. I know you keep a good behaviour most of the time, so this little joke of yours really shocked me; it seems out of character, to say the least.”

“But- !” Daniel tried, but apparently he was not allowed to speak for himself.

“Quiet when your Headmaster is speaking!” Mr. Martins roared. He was the angriest of the bunch. He had seen Daniel in the dining hall himself; it was humiliating that the boy had just lied him in the face like that, and he still had suspected nothing.

Wallace paused for a bit. “Thank you, Martins.” He directed his attention towards Daniel again, “So to say, I am very disappointed. I want you to know that. But I won't expel you. You are a far too valuable asset in our grade point average.”

Daniel's shoulders slouched.

“You'll be suspended from school activity for now,” Headmaster Wallace continued, folding his left hand over his burn mark, “Just until the start of spring term. Your parents will be notified about this, and you will be sent home.”

The young man didn't answer. He stared blankly at the Headmaster's desk, unable to believe that this was happening.

Wallace sighed deeply, “I am sorry about this, Daniel. I really am. But I have to punish you. This could have been really dangerous. I want you to learn from this mistake.”

He still didn't say anything. After a while of silence, he merely nodded.

A moment more of absolute quiet followed. Then the Headmaster said, “Is there anything you want to add, Mr. Wilkinson?”

Daniel kept staring into the surface of the desk. It took a while before he spoke, “Who … told you?”

“Mr. Martins saw you acting suspiciously in the dining hall,” Wallace explained, “And the good Mr. Hammond told us that you suggested the idea to him and your friends. He tried to talk you out of it, but you insisted on it.”

There it was. The reason why Everett was irrelevant.

He had made them believe so.

Daniel curled his fists. That was a hard blow. It felt just like receiving one of Henry's kicks to his gut – only worse.

_Such a backstabber._

“I want you to go to your room and pack your bags for your early Christmas vacation,” Wallace said, “I will notify your parents right away.” He paused, then continued, “And in spite of what has happened, I wish you a merry Christmas, Daniel.”

Daniel nodded and forced a smile.

“Merry Christmas.”

* * *

Daniel didn't talk to any of the other boys at all before he left the school – not even Owen. He knew that they hadn't been the ones to sell him out, but he felt like they had betrayed him as well; they had pressured him to do it just as much as Everett. It was their fault he had ended up like this in the first place.

Returning home was not pleasant. Daniel's father was furious; he received a good scolding and clip round the ear. Henrietta seemed annoyingly smug about it, which only added to the shame. And as if that wasn't punishment enough, he also got the obligation of helping out in the studio more than usual – which meant all day, every day.

Daniel predicted that he wouldn't be able to get very far with Serena's house this vacation if he had to spend so much time helping his father with work. But even despite that, Daniel actually considered himself lucky; he didn't get expelled from the school, and in all truthfulness, his father's reaction could have been way worse. He was ever so grateful that John had stopped drinking.

At least being busy with the studio actually helped distract him from his worry about Serena not answering his letter. It had been six months; he couldn't obsess about it forever. He kept telling himself that there probably was a good reason she wasn't writing him.

“God dammit, where is it?”

Daniel's train of thought was interrupted by his father's sudden outburst. He put down the newly arrived packages of clay in the storage around the back and turned around to look at John. He sat by his desk, rubbing his temples in obvious frustration.

Daniel was about to turn and leave the room, but his father stopped him with a question, “Daniel, have you seen the cherub sculpture, I've worked on for several months? I haven't been able to find it for a good while now.”

He stopped. Guilt gnawed at his conscience, but he merely swallowed hard, “No, I have not, Father.”

“Bloody hell. That marble was expensive...”

Quickly, he went back out to get the rest of the new stock his father had ordered, hoping to avoid another interrogation. It didn't take long before his father followed, though. “Don't worry about those boxes,” he said, “Carlson and Stephens will take care of it. I want you to come with me to the back.”

Once again, he felt nervous. Did his father know? Daniel accepted and followed after John to the studio in the back of the small shop, the artisan had opened.

John put a large slab of stone on the desk and gathered some tools. Daniel breathed out in relief; he just had to help with the stone, nothing else. Not before long, the man and his son had the slab prepared for carving. When everything was ready, Daniel turned to leave again, but his father stopped him, “Where do you think you're going?”

Daniel turned around with a confused look on his face. He usually never did anything more than prepare the stone when it came to his father's stone masonry; it was too difficult a task for him to actually make anything out of it, and he hadn't been taught how to handle it yet. It was perfectly reasonable for him to leave now to let his father work in peace, but apparently John didn't agree.

“I … was going to continue stocking up,” he said, slightly hesitant, and scratched the back of his head.

The tall man placed a hand on his hip, “And how do you expect to ever learn how to cut the stone if you always leave to _stock up?”_

Daniel clearly heard the sarcasm in the emphasised words. It felt insulting. Did he mean to say that Daniel didn't help with the work at all? He had spent most of his childhood in a studio with his drunken father!

He didn't get to speak his mind before John continued, though. “You'll stay here.”

“What do you mean that I always leave?” Daniel interrupted, adrenalin pumping through his veins. He feared his father's wrath, but at the same time, he himself was too angry to even care.

John locked his eyes on the young man. “What I mean?” he said, a low growl emanating from his throat, “I mean that you always sneak out of the house and run around minding your own damn business! You never tend to any of your duties any more, you barely help out with your old father's work!”

“I don't have any duties to tend to, now that you've married a woman with a big house full of servants!” Daniel snapped, though keeping his voice down. He didn't quite muster the courage to yell at the man that had abused him for years.

“ **It's not the servants' duty to tend to the shop and keep the business running once he becomes a grown man!** ” John roared, having lost his patience. He slammed his large hand into the desk and stared at his son, the veins in his sturdy neck visible.

Daniel fell silent, clenching his teeth together and fisting his hands.

John kept glaring at him with a stern look. He looked almost mental with those wide, angry eyes. “Show some respect, son!” he finally said, “You're a disgrace! Do you want the whole town to think that we can't educate our children? I am supposed to be proud of you, not ashamed!”

The young man averted his gaze, refusing to look his father in the eyes. It was too painful.

His father sighed. “I'm tired of this attitude of yours. I'm not going to allow it any more. You're not going to neglect your responsibilities from now on. In order to be able to take over and keep up this business, you'll have to devote some more of your time here. I want you to quit your job at the miller's. You're going to be my apprentice from now on, understood?”

There it was. The decision was made for him, without even asking him how he felt about it. Daniel kept his gaze low, moistening his lips. “Understood.”

John nodded. “All right, then. Now, listen closely, it's not easy to cut stone, let alone make something worth selling out of it...”

Daniel followed all of John's instructions precisely, but he didn't have his heart in it. His father's notion had gotten him thinking. Was this his future? Was the school and his education really just a formality? And most importantly – was this really what _he himself wanted?_

No. It wasn't. He had never been interested in his father's work. He only knew what he knew about it because he had spent all of his life helping out in the studio, and he had only helped out in the studio because he would be beaten and locked in the basement if he didn't.

In all honesty, the only good experience he had ever had relating to the craft was when he and John had bonded – and that only lasted for a short while, given that Daniel felt uttermost let down and estranged from his father when he married the Ice Queen.

But then, if he didn't want this, what _did_ he want with his life? When he had been younger, he wanted to become an archaeologist. He had always been interested in history of man and ancient times, probably stirred by the fairy tales his mother used to tell him. But it had just been a silly dream; a poor boy like himself would have a really hard time breaking out of the family pattern. Both his father, his grandfather, great grandfather, and all who came before had been artisans and craftsmen. Even though Daniel had hoped, he had somehow always known that he would follow in his ancestors' footsteps.

But now that the idea had become a reality, he felt himself fighting against it. He couldn't accept it. What about his deal with Serena? What about his promise of going to London and enrolling the university? Being there to protect his closest friend? Obtaining the necessary means to have Hazel transferred to the London Infirmary and getting proper treatment?

This really wasn't what he wanted. He didn't want his life to end in Canterbury, as some old workman who never accomplished anything other than building furniture; he wanted to travel across the world, experience new cultures and discover ancient old secrets and knowledge. He wanted to be an archaeologist.

But he didn't mention it to his father. It wasn't wise to push the man's limits. And although he still wanted a different life for himself, he knew that right now his dream seemed next to unrealistic.

* * *

It was silent around the table. Only the sound of cutlery scraping against porcelain could be heard in the large dining hall.

Daniel stared down at his plate. It was Hazel's birthday today, and the whole day the siblings had been forced to do all sorts of ridiculous activities with their parents. They had had to go out and visit all of John and Henrietta's friends even though Hazel was tired. Daniel just wanted to have a nice time with his baby sister, tell her fairy tales, read to her from his history books and bake her a cake. He wanted to spend time with her like he used to, but now that plan had gone out the window.

It didn't even seem like their parents even cared that it was her birthday; they didn't actually pay her any attention, they just had her along for the outings to show her off to the other middle class families of Canterbury. They praised her so much, but only when there were other people to listen to it.

Daniel felt sick. He hated how hard they tried to impress everyone. It was embarrassing.

Henrietta made a great effort to point out how wonderful a child Hazel was – so much that Daniel was sure she meant to tell him exactly that she didn't think the same of him. He was put in the background, almost kept away from the others as if he was some animal. His parents were ashamed of him; they thought that he was a disgrace and couldn't behave properly. He knew it.

So Daniel definitely wasn't in a good mood today. He had grown more and more irritated, and more and more bitter. And the last thing, he needed, was to listen to Henrietta's stupid comments. He just wanted her to shut her mouth.

“But Mary Anne told me that she was completely sure of this,” the Ice Queen blabbered on, lifting her wine glass without taking a sip of it, “She said she would check with the rest of the family and then get back to me. I just hope that everything won't turn out a complete disaster.”

He hated the snobbish tone in her voice. It was always there. She talked about other people's misery as if it were the most exciting gossip of the day. She always said she hoped things wouldn't turn out a 'complete disaster', but she never sounded like she was sorry. Ever.

“That's great, darling.” Even John sounded like he was bored. Or else he was just completely fixated on the delicious dinner served in honour of Hazel.

Daniel narrowed his eyes, gripping the fork a little tighter. This was Hazel's birthday. What were they doing talking about everyone else? Hazel should get attention. It was her special day.

Hazel had also been silent the whole day. She had only opened her mouth to thank for the presents and the praise. Not once had she been asked how she was feeling or what she wanted. She just had to force an exhausted smile and act as the good girl, she was supposed to be.

Henrietta finally took a sip of the expensive wine before putting it down on the table again. “Really, they should have just sold the house, like I told her. Then all of this could have been avoided.”

“Shouldn't we be celebrating Hazel instead of gossiping?”

The woman immediately fell quiet. She as well as her husband stopped eating and looked up.

Daniel glared at Henrietta. He hadn't gotten far with the beef. He had lost his appetite over the course of the dinner. His younger sister bit her lip and stared down at her lap. This was not going to be pleasant, she could already tell.

Henrietta blinked a few times, seemingly a bit disoriented. Her smile had disappeared. She cleared her throat, then said, “Why, Daniel, I think Hazel should be plenty satisfied with her birthday already. Usually, the second child is not celebrated at all, especially not a daughter. I tried to arrange a celebration for you back in July, but that … did not go as planned.”

The boy fisted his hands. “Don't make this about me! Hazel deserves the attention!”

“I am quite aware that your sister behaves much better than you, young man. It delights me that you see it yourself,” Henrietta snarled with an obvious undertone of scorn. She did not even deem him worthy of a look.

Hazel glanced up at her father with wide pleading eyes. He didn't notice her. He stared at the dinner table expressionlessly, except for the deep frown.

Daniel clenched his teeth, doing his best to control his anger. “I can behave just as well as my sister, but you only see what you want to see!”

Her father rested his forehead in his hand, rubbing it as if he was tired or had a headache. She knew where this was going.

Henrietta merely scoffed and took a sip of the exquisite wine once again, “Maybe if your mother had had some money, she could have used it to buy you some manners. That's the least she could've done for you.”

Daniel's anger was only growing by the second. He felt himself tremble. “How dare you! You don't know anything about my mother! She used the money to care for me as much as she could!”

“Well, at least _I_ can provide for my children.”

A moment occurred. A moment of complete and utter silence that seemed to last for an eternity. It was as if the air sighed.

Hazel's eyes widened. Somewhere within her, something was cracking. She could almost hear the sound of something break, like glass shattering against the cold floor. She brought a hand to her chest.

Something was breaking within Daniel as well. But this crack was much more aggressive than Hazel's shattering glass. It was an earth quake, shaking right into the core – and the volcano was about to erupt.

John finally looked up. His eyes were darker than usual.

In reality, the moment only lasted a second.

Daniel stood up so violently that his chair knocked backwards on the floor in a loud audible bang. He smashed his hands against the table, causing all of the fine china and cutlery to rattle. “YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO REPLACE MUM! **NEVER!** ” he cried, so that it could be heard all over the region. Hot tears blurred his sight. “YOU **WITCH**! I HATE YOU! YOU CAN KEEP YOUR BLOODY MONEY!”

“ **DANIEL!** ” John roared, standing up from his chair as well, “ **THAT'S QUITE ENOUGH!** ”

Hazel didn't want to be part of this any more. As the father and son began their fighting, she ran out while everyone was distracted. She held a hand over her mouth all the way down the corridor, into the large entrance hall, up the stairs, down another corridor, at last locking herself into her room, breathing heavily.

She could still hear them. Despite the distance, the many walls and doors that stood between, she still heard the awful yells. They had completely forgotten about her in the raging war.

The tears were streaming down her face. She couldn't contain it any more. She sat down with her back against the door, letting all of her sorrow out in loud wails, not caring if anyone heard her. She doubted that anyone would for the screaming contest going on downstairs.

As she heard the first cry of pain, she immediately stopped her sobbing and stiffened. Her heart was pounding. It hurt, but she was certain that it was nowhere near the kind of pain her beloved older brother was experiencing in this moment.

The tears came to her eyes again. Hazel did her best to bite it back as she stood up from the floor, making her way over to the bookcase. Listening intently to the convulsive bellow and the repeated agonised screams, she grabbed a book and went to sit in her bed. She opened right on the page and started reading.

 

> _Once upon a time there was a barren and desolate land. Nothing existed but darkness, ashes and cold, and the people were miserable. The stars saw the land and knew that they alone would not be able to light it up, and so they collected all their stardust over one hundred years, and a girl was born from it. The girl grew in just one day and turned into a woman…_

Another cry. Hazel did not want to think about all the blood. She was much too used to it.

 

> _A star came to the woman and named her Hazel. It gave her a candle and told Hazel to travel to the core of the world to light it up. Hazel accepted and started her journey. She followed the star to the entrance of the Underworld, for the star had said that only through there, you could get to the core._
> 
> _Hazel arrived at the entrance. The guardian by the gate was merely a skeleton in an armour. The bony guard told her that to gain entrance to the Underworld, she must answer a riddle. Hazel accepted the challenge, and the guardian said, “_ _**You cannot see me, hear me or touch me. I lie behind the stars and alter what is real, I am what you really fear. Close your eyes and I come near. What am I?** _ _”_

Hazel knew it. She had been taught the answer at a very young age. This was what Daniel feared. She cringed as she heard him scream again.

 

> _Hazel thought thoroughly about the riddle, when suddenly she caught sight of the star. It bounced around her, letting its bright light spread wherever it went. Through her wit she discovered the answer. It was hiding behind the star, following after it, fearing its shine. She turned towards the guard and said, “The answer, you seek, is_ _**the darkness** _ _.”_
> 
> _The guardian bowed down for Hazel and let her pass through the gate. Hazel and the star walked and walked some more, and finally they reached an abyss. There were dead bodies of lost souls all over, some completely rotten and others brand new. Over the cleft of nothingness hung a crumbling bridge, and just one step made it fall apart and tumble down the abyss._
> 
> _Hazel was a very brave girl, and also very clever. She weaved a rope out of the hair of the dead; it was strong enough to carry Hazel, and she was able to climb over._

A tear stained the page. Daniel had bought this book because of their mother. This was the only one he could find which had the fairytale of the morning star in it. It was precious.

 

> _Hazel and the star finally reached the core, but a terrifying, bloodthirsty dragon rested by the gate. The star told Hazel that she could not touch any of the golden treasures the dragon protected, or it would wake up and devour her._
> 
> _Hazel sneaked past the sleeping dragon, but when she neared the gate she could not resist all those gorgeous diamonds and jewels, and she touched them. The dragon woke from its sleep and began chasing Hazel with a feverish blood thirst – but the star came to her rescue, and at the expense of Hazel's mistake, the star burned out by the cold breath of the dragon._

At the expense of Hazel, the star died. The star that shined the brightest and protected her and guided her. The star that always stayed by her side and believed in her. Her hands trembled.

 

> _Hazel escaped just in time, and the gate closed behind her. She found herself in a completely dark room with only one light up ahead. Hazel got closer and saw that the light came from a candle with a silver flame. She reached out for it, and suddenly the flame grew large in an attempt to absorb her._
> 
> _Hazel got caught up in the flame, but as she was born of stardust, she did not burn – instead the flame turned gold and expanded. It filled the core, and Hazel dashed to the sky. She kept burning her golden light and became the brightest star in the heavens, the star we know as the sun and light, and the land became fertile._

At the expense of Hazel, Daniel was right now being beaten up so badly that he would end up lying unconscious on the floor in a small pool of his own blood. Hazel had seen the slashes that her father had put on her brother's back before. And this time around, he was _really_ furious.

Hazel's star, her support, her security. The tears wouldn't stop. Mr. James was clutched tightly in her embrace, just letting her cry on his soft furry shoulder.

Why couldn't she be as strong as Hazel in the fairytale whom she was named after? Why couldn't she stand up to her parents and defend her brother? She was useless, just like Father had always said. She might as well have never been born.

_**Never been born.** _

After a while, the voices finally died down. It was way past midnight. Hazel's birthday was over.

 


	21. Secret of the Ice Queen

**1834**

The Christmas vacation was completely awful. Daniel was only glad to return to the school, even though he still didn't want to talk to the others. It was actually really awkward coming back; he was after all still sharing rooms with Owen.

“So Daniel, how was your extended vacation?” Owen chattered heartily, while unpacking all that he had brought home with him for the holiday. It wasn't much, since he couldn't be bothered to bring along lot of luggage a distance more than two-hundred miles to Hereford.

“... Fine.”

Owen looked at his friend. Daniel didn't even turn his head. He was completely focused on cleaning up and organising all of his stuff – so much that it almost seemed like he was avoiding Owen's gaze on purpose. The boy with the fluffy brown curls offered a tentative smile, “Just … fine?” Daniel merely nodded. This was almost rude, but Owen was never one to pick a fight. His smile disappeared, “Daniel, are you all right?”

His room mate merely hummed. It didn't sound like neither a confirmation nor denial.

Owen bit his lip, his gentle brown eyes becoming even more puppy-like. “Listen Daniel, we all know that it wasn't fair of Everett to sell you out like that. We have talked to him! Believe me, we all feel really bad about what happened, we didn't plan for it to get so out of hand.”

Finally the other boy looked at him. He gave Owen a weak smile and said, “It's fine.”

He immediately turned away again and continued placing his books on the shelf in his part of the room. Owen's shoulders slouched. “... Just fine.”

* * *

There were times when the other boys would call on Daniel when they saw him passing through in the hallway, asking if he wanted to go out to town with them, but after a few excuses they finally gave up.

Each time he rejected their offer, Daniel saw Owen glance at him with blank eyes, but he pretended not to notice. He knew that Owen had picked up on his dismissive attitude, though he didn't mention anything. He left him alone, and Daniel was grateful of that. He just didn't feel like talking to any of his so-called friends at the moment.

Even though Owen had apologised on all of their behalves, Daniel couldn't just forget about it. Owen said that they had put Everett in his place, but they were all still associating with him. Daniel didn't want any more trouble, so he felt it was best to just distance himself from all of them.

Now that he didn't spend time with the others any more, he had lots of leisure time to focus on Pride. He spent many hours after homework was finished – and before he had to eat dinner – just currying the lively colt and riding out on the fields outside the town centre. He even used the riding grounds whenever they were available.

Snow was still covering the ground all over England. Pride enjoyed the cold winter air, and Daniel had to grasp tighter on to the reins to keep the young horse from swinging its head too much. The sky was as white as the landscape, and in the distance it was hard to see where it ended and the ground began.

“All right, boy,” Daniel said, his breath becoming white air in front of him, “Are you up for some endurance?”

The colt snorted lively, letting his rider know that he could pull off anything, Daniel could throw at him. The young man chuckled and sat up in the stirrups, gently pressing his thighs and calves against the large strong body underneath him.

The sound of Pride's hooves became louder and faster, the click-clacking against the ground soon thundering down the length of the track. The cold air lashed against Daniel's flushed cheeks, but he didn't care. This was the best feeling.

Pride was faster than lightening. Daniel was sure he would be able to beat any racehorse that dared challenge him. The colt never got tired. Even when his body was damping with sweat, he kept going. He seemed almost disappointed when Daniel slowed down again after taking a few laps around the track.

“I'm sorry, buddy, but if you keep going like this, you're going to end up limping,” Daniel said and clapped the strong neck. Pride snorted, nodding his head eagerly.

“That's one nice horse you've got there, Wilkinson.”

Daniel nearly fell out of the saddle. He turned around with wide, anxious eyes.

Henry stood leaned up against the fence, a devious smile plastered across his face; he obviously enjoyed seeing Daniel this horrified. For a moment, Daniel considered kicking Pride's flanks and running away from Henry, but he couldn't subject Pride to that kind of strain – not now that he had just exercised him strenuously.

Daniel mentally cursed, gripping onto the reins a bit tighter. “What do you want now, Henry?”

“I want to know what happened to my money,” Henry said, his face instantly becoming darker, “I told you to come up with something better this time, remember?”

Pride stamped on the ground as he felt his rider become uncomfortable. Daniel held the reins firmly, biting his lip. That was right. Henry wanted more than a sculpture. But he had nothing to offer. “I don't have any money for you.”

“Now, that's not true,” Henry said, a wry smile tugging at his lips. He eyed Pride with a look, Daniel didn't feel comfortable with at all. “You're sitting on a goldmine.”

“I'm not going to sell Pride!” Daniel exclaimed, staring at the blond boy with wide eyes. How outrageous! Was Henry really suggesting such a thing?

Henry gave Daniel one of those fake pitying looks. “That's too bad,” he said, “I guess I'll have no choice but to tell your parents about your girlfriend, then... We all know how understanding your father is.”

“Stop it, Henry,” Daniel mumbled, fisting his hands. He averted his gaze from Henry again and stared down at Pride's reins.

“What's it going to be, Wilkinson?”

Daniel clenched his teeth, thoughts whirling around in his head as if a hurricane was raging. He couldn't let go of neither Pride nor Serena. He had to get the money. Henry left him no choice.

“I'll get you the money,” he finally said, “When I get home for the half term in a short while... I'll get them. Just don't tell anyone...”

“That's more like it,” Henry said, a smile forming on his face, “Good boy, Wilkinson.”

* * *

It felt like the term went by too fast. Daniel didn't want to go home again, but at the same time he didn't want to stay at the school with Owen; his big, brown puppy-eyes were too much to handle. Besides, Daniel had promised Henry that he would get him the money, so he had to go home and get it over and done with.

At least there was Hazel to look forward to seeing again. It seemed like she and Pride were Daniel's only sources of joy at the moment, for Serena still wasn't answering him – or maybe she was just outright ignoring him.

But Daniel didn't feel comforted by seeing Hazel again – quite the contrary. As he opened the door to his younger sister's room, he was met with a horrible sight; a ghost of something that slightly resembled Hazel was lying in the bed. Daniel felt even more shocked when the small form sat up and smiled at him. “Hello, Daniel.”

“What happened to you, Hazel?” Daniel said, his eyes wide.

She looked worse than ever. She had lost so much weight that there was barely anything left of her. Her eyes were bloodshot with dark circles underneath them, and she was as pale as the snow outside. It had hardly been two months since Christmas. How could she have ended up like this in such a short amount of time?

The fragile girl clapped her bed, “Come sit. Give me a hug.” Daniel nearly felt scared to embrace her; what if she would break? But he put his worries aside and sat down on the bed, putting his arms around his sister. “I've missed you…” Hazel said in a soft voice. She sounded so weak and tired.

He looked at her with a grave expression. “I have missed you, too. But … are you all right? You look so … ill!”

Hazel offered a weak smile. Her cheeks were not cute and chubby any more. The cheekbones were protruding grossly on her gentle face, making her look ages older. “Don't worry, Daniel. My disease has broken out a bit, but I'm getting treatment and lots of medicine. It's getting better. I'm feeling really good.”

Daniel stared at her. She didn't look good at all. “But, Hazel... Your disease is a lung defect. You shouldn't be looking like …” he wanted to say _a corpse_ , “... this _._ ”

“Just believe me for once, Daniel,” Hazel sighed heavily, her smile disappearing, “I'm telling you that I'm fine. Everyone is taking care of me. And honestly, I don't feel anything. My body never hurts any more. I don't get any seizures. I barely need my inhaler now. Isn't that wonderful? You should be thrilled!”

Hearing all of this, he honestly did feel a little better. Hazel not being in pain any more was very good news. It was just... She looked like she was already dead. Had she caught another illness? This really couldn't be right.

But Daniel decided to take Hazel's words for it and accepted her explanation. He nodded, “Of course, I am thrilled. I'm glad you're feeling better, Hazel.” The siblings embraced each other.

* * *

Daniel was not going back into his parents' bedroom. He couldn't risk Henrietta catching him again; there was no good excuse for him prowling around in there. Besides, he had searched the room thoroughly before Henrietta had walked in, and he was certain that the money was not stored in there.

He didn't like his new idea better, though. It was just as dangerous as breaking into the bedroom, if not more, but there was no other place that he could think of, that Henrietta would store her fortune. He knew for a fact that she hadn't put it in a bank account – which was very fortunate for Daniel due to his current predicament – so it had to be in the house somewhere.

The key was not easy to get one's hands on. Henrietta usually kept it on her at all times, even when she was sleeping. She had it in a pocket in her dress. The only time, Daniel could think of snatching it, would be while she was bathing – and even that was risky, for what would happen when she discovered that it was gone?

Everything seemed hopeless, until he discovered the copy. Henrietta apparently had two keys, just in case. The copy was kept in a locked cabinet – in the bedroom, of course. _Why is she so secretive?_ Daniel thought, feeling very irritated. He understood that one should be careful with were you keep your documents and wealth, but this was a bit over the top!

So Daniel was forced to go into the bedroom anyway. Fortunately, he could pretend that he was going to train with Pride so that he didn't have to accompany the family while they went out to call on their friends in the morning. Hazel also stayed at home, since she wasn't feeling well. She drank the red liquid the servants had said was her medicine, and fell sound asleep.

He didn't have a lot of difficulties opening the locked cabinet. No one barged in while he took the key. It was almost too easy, but Daniel was just relieved that it was over and done with. Now came the hard part; sneaking into Henrietta's private office and getting the money.

He couldn't do it the very same day. As he came walking down the hallway from Henrietta and John's bedroom, Charles called out to him from down the stairs in the main hall and said that Pride was ready for his training. Daniel had to attend to his horse if he didn't want to raise any suspicions, so he had to postpone his plan for the time being.

Only a few days later, a new opportunity arose. Everything was quiet around the mansion; John had gone to the studio without Daniel this time. He had only agreed to it after Henrietta had said that Daniel should stay home to do his homework, though. Now it was noon, and Daniel had no idea where the woman had gone. Not that he cared – he wasn't going to interfere with her business like she did his – but he wanted to make sure that she wasn't around to catch him when he broke into her office.

“Are you looking for something, young Mr. Wilkinson?” Miss Turner said. She was not very old, though wrinkles had started to settle in her face and hands. The frizzy red hair was gathered in a messy bun underneath her cap.

Daniel liked her; she always made delicious food, and was very kind. He smiled at the short woman, “Eh... No. Thank you, Miss Turner.” She sent him a warm smile in return and continued dusting off the furniture. Daniel looked around the living room one last time, before deciding with himself that Henrietta must've been out. He couldn't find her anywhere.

He went back up the stairs and down the corridor to his parents' room – but went directly past the master bedroom and headed for the door at the far end of the hallway. He kept looking behind him to make sure that no one was watching him. He picked the key from his pocket, his eyes still scanning the hallway while he unlocked the door. Not until he was inside the office did he finally relax and breathe out in relief. He made sure to lock the door behind him.

The office was light and tidy and just as posh as the rest of the house. A baroque desk stood centred in front of the large window across from the door. The carpet on the floor was soft with intricate romantic patterns. Along the walls hung portraits and paintings by fancy painters that he had never heard about. Organised bookcases and cabinets were the only other furniture in the room other than the desk and the chair by it.

Daniel had no idea why the mistress of the house needed an office; not even John was allowed in here. He supposed she kept important letters, invoices and documents from landlords, clergymen, politicians and other important people. And of course, the family's wealth.

He started searching the office for the money. He figured that they would be in some kind of safe. After a while of rummaging behind books and folders, he realised that if the money was locked up as he assumed, he would need yet another key.

Daniel scowled and went for the desk. If there was another key in the office, it would probably be kept in one of the main desk drawers. But of course, the drawers were locked as well. That woman really kept her fortune under lock and key. What was she so scared of? It wasn't like she couldn't do without a few coppers.

But Daniel was prepared for this. He had brought one of Hazel's hairpins. He didn't know if the locks on the drawers would be easy to pick, but surely they couldn't be any more difficult than the lock on a jewellery box.

As he started picking one of the drawers, he accidentally put a bit too much pressure on the leaf underneath the table top, and it gave way. Daniel immediately stopped what he was doing, feeling slightly panicked. Had he just broken the desk?

But it didn't seem like it. Upon further investigation, it actually looked like the desk was supposed to do this; the leaf revealed a hidden compartment underneath the table top. He frowned and began looking through the documents hidden in the cache. It contained nothing of interest. After skimming some of the documents, Daniel started to wonder why Henrietta would keep these papers hidden – even lock them up. That was until one of the documents caught his attention.

It looked like some kind of receipt. The strange thing about it was what the receipt was for. Daniel's eyes widened. _Potassium cyanide_ , he thought, _What in the world would she need potassium cyanide for?_ He had been attentive enough in chemistry class to know how dangerous that substance was. It could kill a full grown man in less than ten minutes. Why would Henrietta have a receipt for such a lethal chemical?

Seeing this, Daniel got more curious and began digging through more documents. There were clippings about scientific discoveries concerning other substances resembling cyanide, as well as press cuttings about deaths all over England – both peaceful ones, but also murders. Men that had been poisoned.

Daniel's stomach squirmed. He felt more and more anxious.

There were maps crossing out places in London, Oxford, Ramsgate, Swansea, Plymouth, Northampton, the Warehouse City, Liverpool... He had no idea what they marked, but he had a really bad feeling.

Research papers, articles, notes, all concerning the same thing. Advertisements on drugs and black markets. Studies on anatomy. Torn papers from books on medical issues. It continued on and on. Daniel suddenly began to understand why all these papers were locked up; they were illegal.

At last he found an old letter. He began reading.

 

_Oct, 29 th/1829_

_Good day, future widow of the Evans Estate,_

_Here you have your order. It has all been taken care of carefully and professionally, so no one will suspect. The dose should be enough to have your husband draw his last breath._

_Be careful not to give him the wrong glass, madam, as we wouldn't want the wrong Evans to drop dead. We do so very much appreciate the humble price you have paid, and we would love it to do business with you again another time._

_Best regards,_

_Ronald Edeson_

_Mr. Edeson's Miracle Liquids and Substances – for every grey day_

 

The realisation of what all this meant sent violent waves of ice through his veins and down his spine. His palms became sweaty. He started fidgeting with the clippings, papers and documents, clumsily putting it all back in the compartment and locking it up.

It was true. The rumours, he had heard all those years ago in town. They were all true. Henrietta had poisoned her own husband.

Daniel felt sick. He feared that if he stayed in the room any longer, he would suffocate. He didn't care about the money any more. He just wanted to get out of there.

Shaking, he got up on his feet, quickly making sure that everything was as before he had been in there, then making his way towards the door. He slipped out of the room in a less than elegant manner, quickly heading down the hallway. His thoughts were a mess. He couldn't think straight or process anything. He just knew that he had to get away from the house right now. Far away.

As he turned the corner to go down the stairs to the main hall, he suddenly bumped into someone.

“Is everything all right, Daniel?”

Daniel's breath caught in his throat. There she was. That ghastly woman. He only remembered one other time he had been this frightened before, and that was many, many years ago.

Henrietta looked at her stepson with one raised eyebrow. “You look awfully pale.”

He swallowed hard, staring at her with wide eyes. “I'm … quite all right,” he nodded, “P-please, excuse me...”

The young man went round her and down the stairs, completely avoiding her gaze. Henrietta turned around and watched him as he quickly fumbled with getting his coat and boots on, then went out the door.

 


	22. A Helping Hand

“Place your grip a bit further down the chisel, son. Else you'll knock off your hand.”

Daniel blinked, awaking from his contemplation. His mind had been rather preoccupied the past two days. It was as if he couldn't focus on anything, his thoughts kept slipping back to what he had come to know. He frowned, placing his hand lower and firmer around the chisel as his father had instructed.

The sound of cracking rock filled the studio. He had upgraded to carving limestones now, his father challenging him with still harder sedimentary – as opposed to the soft soapstone he started out with. John wanted Daniel to make progress quick. But of course he wasn't allowed a slab larger than the size of his own hand; the rock was expensive, and John couldn't waste too much of the material on Daniel's amateur skills.

The man had his arms crossed, watching his grown son closely. Daniel felt his eyes burn into his back, but still he couldn't concentrate.

Truth was that he was scared. He had finally discovered his wicked stepmother's dark secret by complete accident, something he knew that he wasn't supposed to find out. He felt that he had to do something, but at the same time he was completely paralysed. His mind was one big mess of critical questions. If she was capable of killing her own husband, then who knew what other drastic methods she might not hesitate to put to use? What would happen if she found out that Daniel knew? Was Hazel even safe in her care? _What if she would poison his father, too?_

A fairly large chunk of the limestone fell off. Daniel bit his lip, feeling a single drop of sweat running down his forehead. The dust stuck to his moist skin. No matter what time of the year it was, the studio was always burning hot.

John didn't seem to realise that something was bothering his son. “Focus, Daniel!” he said. His voice boomed through the large room and bounced back against the thick stone walls. “The stone is soft! You can't let your thoughts wander while you cut; one slip and it will be useless. You will have ruined it!”

Daniel moistened his lips and nodded. He wanted to confess all that he knew, but he didn't know how. What if his father didn't believe him? Or worse – told Henrietta. He didn't want to bring what he had left of his family in danger, and he feared it would only get worse if he let anyone know.

* * *

He avoided staying at home as much as he could. Unfortunately, Daniel didn't have his job at the miller's any more, since his father had asked him to quit it; that would have been a good excuse to keep himself busy. But at least he had his duties at the studio, Pride's training and Serena's clubhouse to attend to.

Daniel was incredibly worried about Hazel, but he was afraid that he might lose face if he stayed near Henrietta for too long. She made him uneasy. He had grown genuinely scared of her. At night, he couldn't sleep, knowing that a murderer lived in the same house as him, right down the hall, lying next to his father. He figured that until he knew what to do, he had to act as normal as possible, and the easiest way to do that was to just stay out of sight. So he did.

The holiday was coming to an end, and Daniel thought it might be safer to inform Henry that he couldn't get him the money this time around before he went back to the school; the bully was already impatient, and Daniel did not want to further aggravate him. After all, Henry had already been so understanding.

It was cold outside, but the snow was already melting away. Daniel looked around, still feeling somewhat glad that the old village hadn't changed too much. Melancholy always seemed to make way, though, especially when walking past where his childhood home used to be. He had been very young back when his mother was alive, but he knew that she and his father had lived there for many years before he was even born. Now it was all gone.

Daniel sighed so that his breath became clearly visible in the cold air, and continued on his way to the outer part of the small community. The dilapidated Bedloe farm was not far now. He had made sure not to wear anything too fancy. He didn't want to remind Henry that he had moved up in society, though it wasn't by much; Henry had made it clear that he didn't like Daniel's new status as a middle-class artisan's son.

The Bedloe farm didn't look much like a farm any more. Daniel had seen it a few times throughout his childhood, but he had always tried to stay clear of the area. It was a bit pointless, though, as Henry always sought out Daniel himself anyway. The well didn't function properly any longer; the handle was missing, the chain had rusted, and the water was probably not fit for drinking. The single small pen belonging to the lot was in desperate need of repair. Vegetation had long since overgrown the small buildings, there was weed all over the place. The stables had no animals in it; Daniel knew for a fact that Henry had spent several nights there, hiding from his vile mother. He had seen it.

And of course, the tiny main house itself also was in a sad predicament. Daniel wouldn't be surprised if there was a leaking that still hadn't been attended to. This place really would have been better off just getting demolished.

Daniel felt uncomfortable nearing this place. Never once in his life had he witnessed anything positive going on here. He suspected that there might be even more to the story than the few disturbing things he had seen during his time, but he really didn't want to know.

It was awfully quiet. Daniel silently prayed that Henry might not be home, but all the same he just wanted it over and done with. It was time to man up and stop running away. He was about to knock on the door, when he suddenly noticed the voices. It sounded like a baby, bawling as if someone had taken it from its mother.

Daniel frowned. He really hoped that it wasn't Henry, though he didn't know what he would rather have making that noise. He tiptoed over to a small dusty window on the side of the house, peeking inside.

Indeed, it wasn't Henry. It was his mother. She lay on the shabby couch, looking worse than Daniel had ever seen her. Her hair had gotten so thin that her scalp was showing, and it had lost all of its colour. Her skin was as pale as bones, and that was all she was. Skin and bones. Her eyes were terribly bloodshot and hollow. She looked like nothing more than a skeleton.

Henry was also in the room, trying to calm his crying mother. Her arms were flailing about, serving Henry some bruises in the process – but of course, that was of no concern to Miss Bedloe. Daniel looked on in horror as the blond boy finally had his mother come to her senses. The voices became clearer.

“I'm sorry, Mum, don't cry,” Henry said, caressing the withering woman's bony hand, “I promise I'll get you your medicine. I promise.” His voice was oddly soft.

“ _You better!”_ Miss Bedloe cried, drawing her hand back and slapping Henry's cheek with what little strength, she had left, “Else I'm going to die! You want your loving old mama to die, Henry? Do you just want to get rid of me? You see me as nothing short of a burden?”

Henry's face contorted in genuine terror. “No!” he exclaimed, “Mother, I would never!”

The unforgiving woman did nothing but scowl at her poor son, “You've always been such a horrible child! Now I'm going to die here, writhing in pain, because my sole support in this world couldn't lift a finger for his old mum...” She began to cry her crocodile tears again.

Henry looked so tragic. It was obvious that her words were causing him great pain. “Mama, please...”

“I need the opium, Henry! Please, get me it! **I need it!** ” She sat up, gripping tightly on to Henry's worn shirt, staring at him with wide mad eyes, “ **Else I'll die!** ”

“I promise I'm going to get you the medicine, Mum! I don't want you to die!” Henry yelled in distress, grabbing around his mother's small wrists with his own large thick-skinned hands. His voice was shaking.

Daniel backed away with wide eyes, not wanting to see any more. It was completely wrong. All wrong. This was definitely not the right time to tell Henry that he didn't have the money ready for him. Daniel turned around and hurried home without looking back.

* * *

Everything was becoming too much. That probably was the reason why Daniel couldn't bring himself to stay mad at his friends any more. Already the first day back at the school, Owen, Timmy and Harvey came up to him, all at once, begging for forgiveness. They said that it wasn't the same without him around. They missed him, oh so dearly. Daniel couldn't help but smile. They really were sorry. How was he supposed to say no to their pleading eyes? He merely laughed and said that everything was fine again.

It was a great relief. Daniel didn't know how he was going to handle everything if he didn't at least have his friends for support. He wasn't going to confide his newly gathered knowledge to Owen, but it felt good that at least they had made up.

Not long after, Daniel also had a word with Everett. The others insisted that he wanted to apologise. Daniel still felt a bit sceptic about it, but in all honesty, he just wanted as much as possible to be back to what it used to be, so he accepted. “I really am sorry about it, Dan,” Everett said, nodding with raised eyebrows, “I just thought that you would like an early vacation. Really, I was trying to do you a favour.”

Daniel raised his own eyebrows. He couldn't believe that was the excuse. It seemed ridiculous for Everett to think like that. If he thought that Daniel would appreciate an 'early vacation', then why didn't he just let himself have one? But he was too tired to argue any more, so he just nodded and smiled, “I see. Thank you for clearing that up, Everett.”

And then everything finally was back to normal. The stress eased up at bit. At least some aspect of Daniel's life felt safe and recognisable again. He would never admit it, but he was actually glad that Henrietta had signed him up for the King's School. Not only had he managed to escape Henry for a bit this way, but Hazel had been right after all; he had made a lot of good friends.

The term passed by rather quickly. It saddened Daniel. He really didn't feel like going home. He had it much better at the school with his friends, even though he still couldn't stop thinking about his family being under the same roof as that crazy lady. But what was he to do? He was just a boy. No one would ever listen to him.

Shortly before the Easter holiday, Daniel received a letter from his younger sister. He didn't get letters from her too often, but he was delighted whenever he did. Naturally, he wanted to know how she was doing with her illness without him around.

 

_My beloved older brother,_

_I apologise for keeping my letter short. I am feeling light-headed, and I've tried waiting for a time that I felt better, but it seems that it never goes away. I cannot even read through five pages of a book before I feel dizzy. So I am just going to write you this now._

_Things are calm back in the house as usual. You know I don't get to go out a lot. Miss Turner keeps me company when she is not too busy. I asked her if we could have a pet that I could play with, but she said that Henrietta doesn't like pets. I like Miss Turner, though. You know how sweet she is. I know that you like her as well._

_You probably want to know about my illness. I still don't feel any pain. After I take my medicine, just before I fall into a peaceful sleep, it feels like I am floating. It's a really nice feeling. But I have a hard time moving properly, that is why I need to stay in my bed. Else, everything is completely fine, Daniel, I assure you. We never run out of my medicine._

_I am glad that you made up with your friends. They all seem so nice. I would be pleased to meet them someday. I'm sorry, Daniel. I can't write any more. My head hurts._

_With much love,_

_Hazel Wilkinson_

 

Daniel tilted his head. He rubbed his chin, frowning.

It was silent out in the hallways. The boys of the school had already settled into their rooms for the night. In the bed next to the desk he sat by, Owen was reading a book. All of a sudden he clapped it shut, making Daniel jump and look at his friend. Owen smiled up at him. “That was that chapter,” he said, “What are you reading?”

Daniel smiled back at him, chuckling. He focused back on the sheet of paper in his hands. “Just a letter from my sister.”

“Lovely. How is she?” Owen chattered, turning around to lie on his stomach. The light of the lantern flickered in his eyes.

Daniel stayed quiet for a while, thinking. Hazel couldn't even write a letter that filled a whole page. She must have been feeling very sick. That worried him. He looked at Owen again. Maybe it was time to tell him. “Not very good, actually,” he said, hesitating shortly, “She... She is ill. She has been for a long time.”

Owen sat up, a bit more alert. “Oh. I am sorry. For how long?”

“It's a chronic disease. She was born with it.”

His room mate's eyebrows shot up under his long curly bangs as his eyes widened. “No,” he said under his breath, “I never knew. I am sorry. Why didn't you tell me before?”

Daniel had mentioned to Owen that he had a sister, just like anyone would mention their family every now and then when getting to know someone. But he had never let Owen in on any of his worries ever. The only ones, Daniel had ever confided in, were Hazel and Serena. And occasionally his mother, though she wasn't able to respond. “It's not…” Daniel wanted to say that it wasn't a big deal so that Owen wouldn't worry, but he couldn't lie about Hazel's illness like that. He would never be able to say that Hazel wasn't a big deal. “I just don't want you to get involved. She's doing fine, she told me in the letter. I'm just worried about her, is all.”

Owen nodded, a look of compassion on his face. It felt reassuring. His friend was supporting and understanding, and that was all Daniel needed. He continued with a smile, already feeling slightly better, “But as I said, she's all right. She's a strong little one.”

“Of course,” Owen said, smiling, “If she's anything like you, she ought to be.”

Daniel stiffened as he heard that. Those words. So similar. That was exactly what Serena had said the first time he told her about Hazel.

Owen lay on his back again, placing his arms under his head and staring up at the ceiling. “My uncle was very ill a few years ago,” he said, “It took him a long time, but eventually he recovered. I'm sure your sister will be fine. All you need is faith.” Daniel eyed Owen for a while, lost in his thoughts. The other boy blinked a few times, then looked up at his room mate again. As he noticed Daniel watching him, he gave him a mischievous grin, and they both burst into laughter.

He sat up in the bed again. “Hey, I talked to some of the other boys about going to Bath this summer!” Owen said, a sparkle twinkling in his warm eyes, “Don't you want to join us?”

Daniel got up from his seat by the desk to settle in his own bed across from Owen. He fell silent for a while.

Serena was not going to answer his letter. Daniel had accepted this by now, though it hurt more than he wanted to admit. He hadn't had too much time to think about it between tending to his homework, being with his friends and worrying about his problems at home, but every now and then it hit him – and it hit him hard.

He tried to get used to and accept the thought that she wasn't ever coming back again. That maybe her parents had found the letters, and she was not permitted to contact him ever again. Or the worst possibility of all; she didn't like him back, and she had realised that she was too good to socialise with him.

But he found that a slight hope still lingered within him. _Just wait for the summer vacation_ , he told himself, _Wait for the summer vacation and see what happens._ And with that thought, he had managed to put the worries aside again.

Daniel gave Owen an apologetic look. “I'm sorry. I can't.”

Owen scoffed, “Come on, Daniel! Why won't you ever go with us anywhere? Are we only good enough for you when at the school?” He laughed and threw a pillow at Daniel.

The other laughed as well, guarding himself from the attack. He grabbed the pillow for himself as soon as it landed on the ground. “No,” he chuckled, “It's just... Someone is waiting for me at home.”

“Don't tell me that it's your sister,” Owen said, giving Daniel a suspicious look, “You see your sister all other vacations as well. What is going on, Dan?”

Daniel couldn't stop himself from smiling, feeling very embarrassed. Was he really going to tell him? It almost seemed that he didn't have a choice – and for some reason, he didn't really mind. He averted his gaze. “It's not Hazel, no.”

“Then who is it?” Owen persisted. He looked at Daniel with impatience as well as anticipation. “Please, tell me! Why are you always so secretive?”

He gave his friend a wry, devious smile, raising his eyebrows. That was all Owen needed. He gasped. “No!” he said, his mouth shaped like an 'O', “Don't tell me …!” Daniel merely shrugged and looked away, sincerely hoping that the dim light in the room would hide his flushed cheeks. “You!” Owen sat up in his bed, pointing at Daniel, “You found someone!”

“I might have,” Daniel chuckled.

“You did! I can tell by the look on your face!” He leaned closer, staring at Daniel with great excitement. “All right! Tell me about her! When did you meet? Who is she? Is she pretty?”

Daniel shook his head, unable to contain his laughter any more. “Owen! That is rather inappropriate, don't you think?”

“Nothing is inappropriate amongst friends,” Owen said and winked, “You can tell me anything! Your secrets are safe with me.”

Daniel turned to look at the boy across from him. “I know,” he said and smiled.

Owen bit his lip. “So?”

He laughed once again, “All right, then. She is my friend. I've known her for a long time.” Daniel was surprised. It actually felt really good to finally tell somebody. It was somewhat relieving.

“How long?” Owen said surprised, “Longer than me?” Daniel nodded. His room mate continued, “But I thought I was your first friend!”

“Just let it go already,” Daniel chuckled, shaking his head, “She's my childhood friend. I've known her for nearly ten years.”

Owen gaped. “Wow,” he said, “With such a history, surely you can't just be seeing her as just another lady?”

Daniel was silent for a while. Then he shook his head. “No. I don't.”

“When did you start liking her? You know, like _that?”_

He turned on to his side and looked at Owen. He was gazing back at him with curiosity.

It suddenly became obvious to Daniel. Owen hadn't himself been in love before. He was amazed by Daniel's experience. This sort of swapped their roles. Daniel used to look up to Owen, thinking him to be more advanced with ladies and the likes – but now Owen was engrossed by what Daniel had come to know in his summer days.

“I … think I always have,” Daniel said, “I've always cared deeply for her. I just didn't realise how much until last summer.”

“That is very fascinating,” Owen stared at Daniel, “And here I thought that you were a complete beginner. All this time, you've been having a sweetheart for longer than any of us!”

He burst into laughter once again. “She is not my sweetheart!”

“Not yet!” Owen said, once again winking at his friend.

Daniel blushed and looked away. “Well...” he mumbled, “She gave me a locket last summer...” He thought about the beautiful silver heart that lay hidden in the half-built clubhouse in the Blean. The locket that said _Always be together_. He wondered if she really had meant it. Maybe she didn't like him any more because she could feel that he wasn't wearing it.

“That locket I saw you wearing at the start of the year!” Owen said and nodded, “I knew that there was more to the story.”

Daniel slowly nodded, studying the wooden boards on the floor. “I was planning to give her a clubhouse that I am building...” he said, “As a gift in return.”

The other boy's eyes widened. “Wow, you are building her a house? You really are a gentleman!”

He looked at Owen again, smiling. “I guess,” he said. Then his smile disappeared. “But I'm pretty delayed in my work, so I'm not sure if I will finish it in time.”

“Where are you building it?” Owen said.

“In the Blean. Far up, almost by the boarder to Faversham.”

Owen suddenly jolted up. “You mean near Boughton under Blean?”

Daniel frowned, “That small village? I guess it is.”

His comrade continued to sit right up in the bed, his eyes twinkling with excitement. “You remember that cottage, I told you about? Where my family and I celebrate Christmas?”

“Yes?” Daniel mumbled, still thoroughly confused by the other boy's sudden enthusiasm.

“The cottage lies in Boughton under Blean!” Owen exclaimed excited, “It is very close to the woods! If we spend a vacation there, I could help you out with finishing the house. I am pretty handy with building myself, if I must say.” He nodded to emphasise his point.

Daniel sat up in his bed, gaping at Owen. “Really? Are you sure of that? Will you really help me?”

“Of course!” Owen smiled brightly at his friend, “That's what friends are for. Besides, we could have a really nice time together! The cottage is not very large, so I'm sure my parents would be fine with us staying, just the two of us. No grown-ups, no servants!”

It was unreal. Yet, the opportunity was right there. He had the chance to get away for a while, away from home and just spend time with his friend; no stress, no worries, no problems. Just him and his friend, having fun building something that Daniel wanted to give to his sweetheart. How could he possibly say no?

A large smile formed on his face. “Let's do it.”

* * *

It only took a single letter to write home and tell their parents that they were going to spend the vacation together. Soon everything was arranged, and when the school finally let their students off for the Easter holiday, Daniel and Owen had already packed everything and were ready to leave for the cottage.

Boughton under Blean was a nice little community on the outskirts of Canterbury. It was tiny and idyllic and surrounded by the beautiful nature of the Blean and Canterbury fields; there was absolutely nothing to complain about. The cottage was very nice as well. Daniel soon realised that Owen certainly came from a somewhat wealthy upper middle-class family. Even though he had said that the cottage was small, it was still almost the size of the Wilkinson estate. Everything was polished and clean despite there being no servants.

“Who takes care of this place while your family is in Hereford?” Daniel had asked in wonder upon arriving as he looked around the nicely decorated main hall.

Owen fumbled around with the bunch of keys, he had received by the landlord. “My parents are good friends with the mayor,” he said, “He makes sure that it's cleaned once a month. When we come to occupy the house, a whole team of people is sent to tidy it up before we arrive.” It was impressive. Daniel himself sure didn't have any connections quite as interesting.

The boys had fun the whole day. They settled into their respective rooms – there was enough for them to have one each! – and unpacked all of their things. The first day they spent just strolling around the area in the nice weather and getting to know the village.

The week went by in the blink of an eye. Everyday, they went out into the Blean, building for hours. Daniel made much more progress during these few days than he had for the past year. Owen really was very handy with the craft and turned out to be of great help. He also said that he was impressed with Daniel's work so far, but that was what one would expect of an artisan's son.

They worked away until evening. Then they went back to the cottage to prepare dinner for themselves, for there were no servants living with them. It was no problem, though, as Daniel was quite used to cooking. The stove was old and intricate. Only Owen knew how to get it going. While he was fumbling around with it, he asked Daniel to go down to the basement and get some coal. Daniel accepted and went on his way.

He never liked basements. The only ones, he had ever encountered, were always dark. But it was still light outside, and there were a few tiny windows down there. He still brought a lantern with him, though. Better be safe than sorry.

Daniel ventured down the stairs, slowly placing his feet solidly on each step to make sure that he wouldn't slip. The basement was small and almost empty, save for the few shelves and the piles of coal. He thought he saw something move in the corner of his eye. He turned around, but there was nothing. Probably just a mouse. He placed the lantern on one of the shelves, a fair distance from the coal, and started filling his sack with the shovel.

It only took him a few minutes, but as the seconds ticked by, sweat formed on his face. The light wasn't enough. The shadows were very dark, and they moved.

He hurried even more, determined to get back out of the basement before the shadow creatures would lock the door behind him. His heart beat rapidly. The flame in the lantern flickered. The light from the windows grew dimmer as the sun set in the sky.

Finally, the sack was filled. Daniel grabbed it and the lantern, and ran up the stairs again. The shadow creatures laughed their devil cackle and set off after him, racing against him to get to the door.

He made it. He slammed the door close behind him, breathing out. That had been close. Too close. His hands were shaking, he couldn't breathe properly.

“Daniel? Did you get the coal?”

The sound of Owen's voice calling from the kitchen calmed him. His rapid breath stilled. “Yes,” he said and swallowed, “Yes, I got it.”

* * *

The Easter holiday would soon be over. Daniel had enjoyed it much more than he thought he would, which was impressive since his expectations had already been high. He and Owen had so much fun together, they nearly did nothing but laugh. Already two days before they had to go back to the school again for the summer term, they finished the clubhouse.

It was incredible. It looked much neater than what Daniel had built for Henry, and it was slightly bigger, too. It would definitely fit Daniel and Serena nicely, as there was room enough for both him and Owen in there. Owen lay down inside the small building, resting the back of his head on his arms. “Well, this sure is nice,” he said, his eyes closed, “I think we're finished, Daniel.”

Daniel nodded, sitting down next to his friend with wide eyes. He stared around the small house. They had even made a door for it, with hinges and everything. Owen knew people in Boughton, so it was not hard to get their hands on the material.

He was suddenly reminded. He removed a single wooden board in one of the corners that had nothing but bushes outside it. Owen opened his eyes. “What are you doing?” Digging a bit with the small shovel that lay outside, Daniel soon found his secret box. He opened it and took out the locket inside. Owen sat up and crawled over to his friend. “Oh, it's your locket,” he said, “Why are you keeping it out here?”

“It's...” Daniel hesitated shortly, “It's best if no one knows about our relationship, Owen.”

The boy blinked. He shook his head and said, “You mean, your relationship with the girl who gave you that locket? But why?” He grinned, “You've done _inappropriate_ things with her, mate?”

Daniel looked at Owen with wide eyes, his face flushed. “No! Don't say things like that!”

“Then what is the matter?” Owen asked, taking the locket from Daniel, “Can I open it? What's inside?”

“It's a portrait of her,” Daniel said, watching as Owen clicked the small heart open.

His friend studied the painting, nodding. “I see why you like her,” he said, “She is very lovely indeed. But she looks…” Owen turned to look at Daniel with a rather serious expression on his face. “Daniel, she looks like she is aristocratic.”

Daniel bit his lip and nodded. “That is why no one can know…”

Owen looked at the portrait again. Then he closed the locket and gave it back to Daniel. “You have to be careful,” he said, “Her family would never approve of people like us. We're only middle-class.”

“I know,” Daniel sighed and opened the locket again. He looked at the small painting of Serena, feeling every bit of his doubt washing over him like a splash of cold water. “And I… I don't know how she feels. I have known her all of my life, yet now she is ignoring me.”

“Is she ignoring you?” Owen said, frowning.

“My letter,” Daniel mumbled, averting his gaze go the floor, “She is not answering my letter. We always write each other in between the summer breaks when she is in London, but after what happened last summer, she has not talked to me openly…”

Owen pursed his lips, not liking seeing his friend so distressed. “What happened last summer?”

Daniel's cheeks burned hot as he thought back on it. How amazing it had been. He really wanted to experience it again. “I kissed her.”

Owen's eyes became wide. “You _kissed_ her? A daughter of an aristocrat? You sure have got some guts, Wilkinson!”

The other boy shrugged and said, “I just … couldn't _not_ do it. She was so inviting that day.”

His friend burst into laughter and clapped his shoulder. “I'm sure she was,” Owen chuckled, “Those genteel ladies are hard to resist at times, aye? Definitely much classier than the ladies in the places, Everett brings us.” Daniel also laughed. He couldn't deny that. “But don't be too worried about it, Daniel,” he continued and gave his friend a reassuring smile, “Maybe she never even received the letter.”

Daniel looked at Owen with a frown. “What do you mean?”

“Maybe your letter was lost in the mail. Or her letter to you. It might have been that her letter never got here. You should ask the post office about it.”

Daniel was dumbfounded. He had never even thought of that. Of course! That must have been it! The reason why she never answered! How could he have overlooked that? A bright smile formed on his face as the realisation dawned upon him. “You're right! That thought never occurred to me once! I will certainly check with the post office!”

Owen smiled back at Daniel, laughing. “See? If you inform me once in a while, I might be able to help you!”

Daniel bit his lip in excitement, beaming at his friend. “Thank you, Owen. I owe so much to you.”

 


	23. Revelation

The weather was becoming warmer, the days longer. At the school, all the boys had changed into their summer uniforms. The mood was high, for summer was on its way. Daniel and Everett spent their free time after school nursing and currying their horses in the stables. Everett had made his compliments about Pride. His own horse was a mare named Duchess, an elegant grey Hackney. She was very beautiful.

“The school is so quiet these days,” Everett said while combing through Duchess' silky mane. She stood completely still, her tail swinging back and forth. Daniel let go of Pride's hoof after he finished picking it; he merely hummed in response. Everett sighed and rested his arms on the mare's back. “It really is a drag, don't you think?”

“What do you mean? I like it,” Daniel said as he picked up Pride's next hoof. The colt was not as patient as Duchess. He reached over the half-wall that separated their stalls and tried to get the mare's attention by nipping at her neck. Duchess merely flipped her ears.

“Daniel, surely you don't mean to tell me that you like _boredom?”_ Everett said with scorn.

Daniel accidentally let go of Pride's hoof and stood up. He frowned at the blonde young man. “I never mentioned anything about boredom.”

“This school is boring!” Everett exclaimed, making a grand gesture with his arms, “Nothing ever happens! Everyone just goes about their own businesses.”

“Well, this is a school,” Daniel said, feeling confused, “I don't know what you expect.”

He stooped to pick up Pride's hoof again and continue picking it while Everett watched him. He fell silent, simply mumbling, “I guess...”

For a while, only the sound of the other horses in the stables and the birds chirping outside could be heard. Daniel's mind was a whole other place, though. He wanted to make time to go to the post office this week so he could see if Serena had written to him. He felt excited and nervous all at once; if she had replied to his letter, was she going to mention anything about the kiss? Perhaps she would act as if nothing had happened, like she had during the rest of the summer holiday.

“You know what could be funny, Dan?”

Daniel snapped out of his thoughts and looked up. Everett stared at him with wide excited eyes. He blinked a few times, then shook his head. “No?”

Everett bit his lip. “Imagine if all the horses in the stable ran loose on the school ground!” Daniel stared at him with a perplexed expression. Everett either ignored it or didn't notice. “Maybe we'd finally make the patient Wallace flip! But I think Mr. Martins would be the funniest of all. His face would turn completely red, even more so than when he doesn't get his extra portion of meatballs!”

“I don't think that's a good idea, Everett,” Daniel said, “The horses could get hurt.”

Everett snorted and rolled his eyes. “You're always so negative, Daniel. Just forget about it, then.” The blond boy continued currying his horse without uttering another word. Daniel merely shrugged and focused his attention on Pride again.

* * *

Daniel stood by the counter, patiently waiting for the young Mr. Lewis to come back from the package storage. The postmaster was tending to the other customers. It was particularly busy today, so he had called his son in to help him take care of the business.

It didn't take long. The young man came back out to the front, shaking his head apologetically, “I'm afraid there are no letters for you, Mr. Wilkinson. If any letters got lost, they may still be in London.”

Daniel tried not to look too disappointed. “I see. Thank you very much.”

“Have a nice day, sir,” the man said. Daniel bowed his head in response, already making his way out of the post office.

The sun shined brightly down on the historical market town, but even that wasn't enough to cheer Daniel up. He had really hoped, he had been almost certain. He tried to comfort himself with the thought that maybe it was his letter that got lost on its way to Serena instead, but he had still hoped that Serena would have written to him nonetheless, even if she didn't receive a letter from him first. At least there was still the possibility that her letter just never got sent off from London, or was lost between there and Canterbury.

Daniel sighed as he crossed the Buttermarket. He went around the large cathedral and was walking past a small alleyway in the building when someone suddenly grabbed him by the arm and pulled him into the alley.

“Hello, Wilkinson. It was just you, I was hoping to see.”

Daniel's heart almost skipped a beat, but he soon calmed down. He was getting too used to this, and he knew that he would have to explain himself now. “Henry, I'm sorry about the delay, I've been-”

“Oh, so you _do_ remember? I thought that maybe you just had your silly little head filled with so many trivial things that you forgot,” Henry said, poking Daniel's forehead, “Where is my money, Daniel?”

Daniel bit his lip and averted his gaze. “I don't have them...”

He was violently grabbed by his collar and driven up against the wall. “ **Last chance, Wilkinson!** ” Henry snarled through gritted teeth, his eyes even madder than usual. “I'm losing my patience!”

“Henry,” Daniel looked directly into Henry's eyes, his hands locking around the older boy's wrist, “I don't think opium is the answer. It's doing your mother more harm than good...” Henry's eyes widened in disbelief. Daniel saw all his fears, worries, anxiety and sorrow in that single moment. He had hit a nerve.

All the air in Daniel's lungs disappeared. He clutched his stomach and fell on his knees to the ground, gasping and struggling to breathe. The older boy had no control of his emotions. Tears couldn't be contained as he thundered, “ **YOU JUST MIND YOUR OWN DAMNED BUSINESS, YOU SCUMBAG! I DIDN'T ASK FOR YOUR ADVICE!** ”

Daniel received another kick, but it didn't hurt too bad. Henry was too out of his mind to place it properly. At most it would form a very large bruise, but nothing more. “Last chance, Wilkinson,” the blond said in a low voice that held as much of a warning as the words he spoke, “ _Last chance._ No more games. I want the money _now!”_

Daniel didn't answer. He still had trouble breathing. He merely watched Henry from his position on the ground as the boy turned around and walked away.

It had become urgent now, not only to Daniel, but also Henry. They were both afraid of losing someone they really cared about. Daniel had to go into Henrietta's office again, and this time he couldn't allow himself to fail.

* * *

The old tree in the backyard was tall enough to reach the second floor. Miss Turner said that it had been there for more than a century. Young Mr. Evans probably used to climb it every now and then when looking for a bit of adventure.

Today Daniel himself was venturing up the tree, but there was to be no adventure. He had to get the money this half term. He could not get around it any more.

Daniel deemed it too risky to steal Henrietta's key. He had been into the bedroom to try and get the copy again, but it was gone. It worried him. Perhaps Henrietta had grown suspicious of his sneaking around his parents' hallway and hidden the key in another safe location.

Either way there was only one option left. The large tree that stood tall in the backyard would have to suffice; it was ever so fortunate that the tree branches were strong enough to carry him. With a bit of refinement and clever thinking, he would be able to climb into the office through the window.

It wasn't locked. Daniel wondered why, as it definitely seemed unlike Henrietta to forget to lock such an easy way in, but all the same he praised the lord. It didn't take more than mere seconds to set foot inside the office and close the window behind him. Henrietta's office looked as tidy and clean as the last time he had been in here. The main desk stood in front of him, but he walked right past it; he had searched through it the last time, and had found no key – only very dangerous documents. He had no intentions of looking through it again.

Daniel started his search for the fortune in the shelves; he looked behind every book and map, but of course that proved fruitless. Afterwards he looked in the drawers and cabinets, he looked between every sheet of paper, all documents, but there was nothing indicating the location of any money.

To be honest, he wasn't quite sure where to start. The office wasn't very large, but it had a lot of cabinets and chests of drawers everywhere and none of them looked like they contained any safe. As the time ticked by, he began to feel discouraged. Maybe the money wasn't even in here.

Daniel leaned up against the wall and sighed heavily. What was he going to do? If the money wasn't in the office, then where could they be? He couldn't think of anywhere else. It seemed unlikely of Henrietta to hide them somewhere that wasn't as secretive and locked down as her office.

While the voice in his head started screaming at him to give up, he looked at the painting hanging next to him. It was fairly large. He didn't know who the painter was, but he was very talented. The painting was of a colourful forest with a small house in the clearing. It reminded Daniel of his house for Serena. The detail in it was amazing.

Suddenly he noticed something odd, and the voice in his head fell silent. The painting didn't lean completely against the wall. It was sticking out a little. There was something behind it.

Daniel frowned. He grabbed the painting, lifted it off the wall, and there it was; the strongbox. Daniel couldn't believe his luck. He smiled. _There we go._

But just like he had suspected, a key was in need – and Daniel didn't have it. He bit his lip and looked around the room once again. He had to find it. He really hoped that it was somewhere in here.

Everything was always so quiet down this hallway, so Daniel would know if anyone was coming. The steps would be heard loud and clear on the other side of the door, but fortunately no one was headed his way right now. He rummaged through all the drawers and cupboards again, but the key was nowhere to be found.

Daniel thought long and hard. What would he do if the key wasn't in the office? He couldn't wait any longer. He might not get the chance again.

He walked around the room aimlessly, trying to see if there was something he hadn't noticed earlier. When he was about to give up and hang the painting to cover up the strongbox again, his lucky star suddenly smiled down at him once more.

Daniel walked closer to the main desk, a frown furrowed deep between his eyebrows. A large carpet covered most of the floor in the office. The main desk was placed right on top of its edge. Daniel saw the dent.

He crouched down and tried to move the desk a bit. It gave way and revealed a large slide mark underneath it. This desk had been moved back and forth across the carpet before.

Daniel felt his heart begin to beat, adrenalin pumping through his veins. He stood up and began to push the main desk completely away from the carpet. It did not take much effort. Soon, the edge of the carpet was free to be flipped up.

Daniel crouched down again to feel around on the floor. One of the boards skidded a bit. He knocked on it; it was hollow. Biting his lip, he slipped his fingers in the corner and lifted it. The board let itself remove without a fight, and underneath it was a small wooden box containing a bunch of envelopes – letters – and a key. A silver key, perfectly matching the strongbox.

 _Yes!_ Daniel thought and smiled widely, feeling incredibly elated by his finding. Of course; if Daniel had a loose board in his room that could be useful for storing secret belongings, Henrietta might as well have one, too!

He ignored the envelopes and grabbed the key, running to the strongbox and putting it in the lock. It clicked and opened, just like that.

Daniel's eyes widened as he opened the lid. There was a lot of wealth in there. Stacks of coins, silver and gold. Jewels. Diamonds. He couldn't believe that the late Mr. Evans had left all this to Henrietta, yet she had just killed him. He must have cared about her a lot.

He tried to shake the uncomfortable thoughts and get down to business. Ignoring the gems, he instead started looking through the coins. He could find nothing less than a crown. It really was a lot of money; surely, Henry would be satisfied with this.

Daniel locked the safe again and went back to the secret compartment on the floor that was still wide open. He put the key back in the box, placing it between all the letters – just like it had been before. He was about to put the board back on the floor, when he noticed yet another odd thing. It wasn't the key this time. It was the envelopes.

A tickling warm sensation formed in his stomach, but it did not feel good at all . Daniel's eyes were wide as he reached for the envelope that caught his eye. He tugged a bit, and eventually it gave way.

He looked at it. It was dated December 8th, 1833. But the disturbing thing was who it was addressed for.

 

_Daniel J. Wilkinson_

_The King's School, building 4, room F14_

_Canterbury, Kent_

 

Daniel's heart dropped to his stomach. He felt numb. This could not be real. It had to be a dream or some hallucination. It could not be real.

The envelope had been opened already. With shaking hands Daniel opened it again, reaching for the sheet of paper inside. His heart pounded hard against his chest. He swallowed a big lump in his throat and began to read.

 

_My beloved Daniel,_

_I am sorry to be ever so persistent, but why are you not answering me? You were the one who wanted to write more often. I thought you missed me. Is your life at the school really keeping you so busy that you don't have time to write me a single letter, telling me how you are doing?_

_I think about you each and every day. The Christmas lights and carol singers roam the streets here in London, but I do not feel the spirit. I want to ride Lady Margaret astride again. I want to go back to the summer days. I just want to be with you, especially now that my family is facing such hard times. Even though I haven't heard from you, I hope so dearly that you are thinking of me as well._

_Aaron finally died last week, so now there really is no heir. My parents are fighting, and my sisters are ignoring the topic, refusing to talk to me about it. Every chance I get, I go to visit Mary and her parents, the good Mr. and Mrs. Jenkins. As things are now, I feel much more at home with them. They are always so kind towards me._

_At least Regina finally found a suitor. He is courting her now. I think his name was Mr. Nathaniel Sawyer. A perfect gentleman, Mother said. An eligible bachelor. I am so happy for her, but she does seem awfully stressed, though. Kat is very negative about it. I don't think she likes him, but everyone else does. I hope their engagement might be announced soon enough._

_Please write me soon, Daniel. I long to hear from you again. Stay well._

_Sincerely yours,_

_Serena da Silva_

 

It was right here. The letter he had been waiting for for months. Right here, in Henrietta's office.

A big wailing sound was the only thing in Daniel's head right now. He couldn't think. His thoughts were a big mess, storming in his mind like a hurricane. Suddenly something hit him.

This was not the only letter. There had been letters before this one. Others, he didn't receive.

He started floundering through the other envelopes, soon realising that not only some of them were addressed to him – they were _all_ addressed to him. All seven letters in the small compartment in the floor.

The earliest one was from September 15th, 1833.

 

_My loving Daniel,_

_I cannot say just how glad I am to receive a letter from you so soon. It is as if you read my mind. I would love to be able to write to you more frequently. I already miss you, if only you knew how much. It would be the most delightful thing if you came to London. Please forgive my sentimentality, but I just realise that I care so much about you. You make me feel happier than ever before, and that is a great comfort in such a time like this._

_I've only just arrived home in London, and we received some very unpleasant news. My Icelandic half-brother, Aaron, was hurt when he was out hunting. Apparently one of his friends mistook him for being a deer, a tremendously big one. He was shot, Daniel. My big brother. I am so worried. The doctors can't do much, for the wound has already become infected. He is receiving treatment but is still unconscious. We can only wait and hope._

_Daniel, it's such a disaster. Daddy's fuse is shorter than ever; he constantly goes off at my mother. Aaron was supposed to inherit everything, the estate, the fortune, the whole business. He is the only heir, the only son of my father. If he dies… I cannot stand to think about it._

_I try to keep my mind busy and reminisce about our summer together instead. It really was unforgettable. If only I could relive it. Will you promise me that we make it just as good, perhaps even better, next year?_

_I feel sorry about how it ended. I just didn't know what to say, Daniel. You seemed really sad. I should have asked what was wrong. I will now; what is wrong, Daniel? Do you regret? I have so many questions. I apologise. I am not thinking straight at the moment. I am just so worried for my brother. I cannot even go visit him, for I have no means of travelling to Iceland._

_Please, do keep my locket with you at all times. I feel safe knowing that I am close to your heart. Then I can pretend that I am in your arms again, even if miles separate us. I cannot wait to come back, Daniel. Please, let it be summer again soon. I want to be back in your arms and forget about all the bad things._

_Yours affectionately,_

_Serena da Silva_

 

Sweat ran down his forehead. _How?_ he thought, _**How?**_

He couldn't stop. He ripped open all the envelopes, reading each and every letter. They blurred together, the words relocated in the sentences. He couldn't tell where anything started or ended, it all just formed one big letter in his mind while Serena's wistful voice echoed in his head.

… _I miss you so much, Daniel..._

_Why are you not answering?_

_Daniel..._

… _Please..._

_I apologise..._

_Are you angry with me?_

_I care about you so much…_

… _makes me feel so lost..._

… _I never even realised before..._

_Do you regret?_

… _means nothing..._

… _confused..._

_Everything is so tense…_

_I want to go back..._

_Canterbury is my rightful home…_

… _that day..._

… _scared..._

… _summer..._

_Again ... one day..._

_The society..._

… _last..._

_**I just want to be with you, Daniel.** _

“Apparently, I am not the only one with a secret.”

Daniel's heart nearly jumped out of his throat. He had been so consumed in the letters that he hadn't heard the steps in the hallway, let alone the lock of the door clicking and opening. He looked up with wide eyes, feeling nothing but utter horror.

Henrietta closed the door behind her and locked it. “Did you really believe me that foolish, Daniel?” she said. Her eyes were more piercing than ever before.

Daniel stared at her. He couldn't manage anything other than a few words, “You... B-but... H-how long …?”

“Oh, I've known for quite a few months,” Henrietta said nonchalantly, slowly striding across the room, eyeing him like a snake watching its prey. She picked out something from her pocket; Hazel's hairpin. “You have underestimated me, Daniel.”

The realisation dawned upon him. He forgot the hairpin. How could he have been so stupid? He felt panicked; a million thoughts ran through his mind. Would she kill him now? She couldn't do that. She would never get away with it.

She stopped a fair distance away from him, chuckling. “Remember to breathe,” she said, “We can't have you drop dead now, can we?”

She obviously enjoyed seeing him this terrified. Daniel clenched his teeth and glared at her with more hatred than he had ever felt before. She had him right where she wanted him, that _hag._

Henrietta crossed her arms, “Don't show me that attitude, Daniel. It's not suitable for a young man.”

“How did you do this?” Daniel snapped, “How did you manage to keep me from receiving the letters?”

“Simple,” she said and raised her eyebrows, “I just made a deal with the post office to have all letters addressed to you redirected to your home address instead.”

Of course. He had never even thought of that. If she had suspected anything, that was an obvious and easy way to find out if he had any secret contacts. He felt so stupid. He really had underestimated her.

“You …!” he growled, “You killed your own husband!”

Henrietta's face suddenly became much darker. “I did what was necessary,” she said in a low voice, “And you will say nothing. Else, I will have your friend's parents know about your relationship.”

Daniel bit his lip. Obviously, Henrietta's crime was a great deal worse than his. But he was finding himself in a very difficult position. She knew about Serena. She knew about him sneaking into her office. Maybe she knew about him stealing her money.

Even though she had done something cruel, he surely would be greatly punished as well – maybe even imprisoned in some institution – and then he would never have a chance at a normal life again, let alone a successful one. Ever.

He clenched his eyes close and fisted his hands. Why did she have to know? Why did he have to find out? Things were even more complicated than before. He wanted to go back to being blissfully unaware. This was too much. It was too heavy on his shoulders. Too many dreadful secrets.

“I won't tell anyone, Daniel,” Henrietta said, “as long as you keep my secret as well. I have nothing to lose. I've got money and a good reputation. But you will lose _everything_.”

She was right. He had no choice. He felt like he could scream. His shoulders slouched in defeat. “I'll keep quiet.”

“Good boy,” Henrietta said and nodded, “A wise decision indeed. It was about time you made one.”

Daniel didn't answer. He merely gazed down at all the letters in front of him. Serena's pretty cursive writing stared up at him, pleading, begging. It was painful.

Henrietta watched him for a while. Then she walked back to the door, grabbing the door handle. “Now, clean all this up. I want it to be exactly like you found it. And you will never come in here again, understood?”

“Yes,” Daniel mumbled without looking up. The door closed.

 


	24. Accident

It became much harder being at home. The tension was so thick that even the townspeople started to notice. Everyone knew that the young Wilkinson was a bit unruly and had a strained relationship with his stepmother, but it seemed to have gotten even worse. His attitude was outrageous, so to say!

But Henrietta did not lose her head. She knew how to handle the situation. If her stepson's mouth got a bit too nasty, she could put him in his place. Finally she had control of the stallion.

It was so silent by the dinner table that the servants could be heard laughing and talking in the kitchen down the hall. Hazel poked her stew around a bit, not really having taken a bite of it even though the dinner had lasted for a good twenty minutes now. She did not feel like eating. She never did. She just wanted to lie down and close her eyes, and fly, fly far away.

Daniel kept a close eye on his younger sister. She only looked worse every time he came home. He didn't understand why. She said that she felt fine and received medicine. How could she end up in this state? At least there were no seizures. That made him feel better.

Henrietta watched the children closely. The only sound in the dining room was that of cutlery against porcelain.

“So,” John suddenly spoke up, grabbing the attention of everyone at the table, “Some fine customers liked the closet Daniel and I had worked hard on these past few days. We sold it at a good price. Isn't that right, Daniel?”

The young man said nothing. He merely looked down at his plate and nodded, taking another bite of his dish.

John looked around at his family. His children stared down at their food, unwilling to say anything. The tension irked him. It should be stopped right now. “But the good Mr. Skinner assured me I could have demanded much more money for it. He said that it is time I raise the prices,” he continued. He eyed everyone, waiting for a response. None came.

The master of the house frowned. Everyone sensed that he was starting to become irritated. Only Hazel and Henrietta seemed to care, though, and of those two, Hazel was the only one worried about it. John's voice raised, “I do think he might be right. We sell very well now. I receive many compliments for my work. The quality of it certainly deserves a higher price.”

“That is very nice, Father,” Hazel peeped.

Henrietta looked at Daniel. He kept his gaze locked on his nearly empty plate.

The middle-aged man stayed silent for a good while. His jaw was tense. Grey eyes flickered between his wife and son. Hazel started trembling.

Suddenly John's large fist slammed against the table. Everything rattled, the glasses, the cutlery, the plates; some of the wine splashed onto the white tablecloth. Everyone looked up. “What does it take to get you people to _talk?”_ John barked, staring at his children, “Have I raised you this horribly? Where have the etiquette and politeness gone? Why must you try so hard to keep our family divided like this?”

Henrietta observed Daniel. He stared at his father with a deep frown and wide eyes. His strong jawline and neck tensed, the knuckles on his fists white.

She turned to the man by her side and placed a hand on his arm, making him look at her. Just by the mere touch, her husband seemed to calm down. “Don't feel bad, my dear,” she said and gave him a sweet smile. She looked at Daniel again and smiled at him as well, but it was not sweet. “It is not your fault that your children are so ungrateful.”

Daniel glared at her. His fists trembled. Hazel's eyes averted to her lap. She wanted to fly, fly far away.

* * *

Finally, Henry got the money that he wanted. He tried to act as if the crown didn't impress him and that it was the least Daniel could have done, but it was obvious that he had never been near that much money before in his life. Hopefully that would keep him away for a while.

But Henry was not the biggest of Daniel's concerns any more. It constantly felt like he was walking around with a large, cold stone in his stomach. He felt horrible. Everything he did was completely animated and automatic. He just tried to live on as if nothing was wrong, but he felt completely dead inside.

The two weeks went by slowly. It was painful being at home. He kept mostly to his room, just burying himself in his books. Once in a while, whenever Hazel was awake, he would read fairy tales to her. The only positive thing about how all this had turned out was that Henrietta wasn't nagging him as much. She knew better than to push him; after all, he knew her secret as well.

Daniel couldn't return to the school soon enough. As soon as he was back in the familiar courtyard in front of the main building with all of his friends, he finally felt some of the tension ease off a bit. The cold rock inside him melted slightly.

In early June everyone received their last grades for the year before starting the preparation for the exams. As per usual, all the boys were completely hyped. The grades were important; they needed to know if their hard work had paid off, since it otherwise would mean a nasty scolding from the parents upon returning home again for the summer holiday.

Daniel had seated himself in the couch in the common room. Owen and Harvey sat with him, doing the exactly same as him; staring down at the grade papers, afraid to flip it open and see what it said inside. Harvey was the first to pull himself together and check his grades. As predicted, a smile soon formed on his face. “A, another A, and one more...” he said, mostly to himself.

“I don't even know what you were worried about, you never get anything other than excellent grades,” Owen groaned and rubbed his forehead.

Daniel forced a strained smile. Hearing about his friend's success only made him feel even more anxious to find out how he had done himself. “Congratulations, Harvey.”

“Hey fellers, how did you do?”

They all looked up. Christopher and Everett stood in front of them, they themselves holding their grade papers. Christopher settled down in the couch next to Daniel, while Everett sat down in an armchair. “Harvey did great, no surprise there,” Owen chuckled, “Daniel and I haven't gathered the courage to look yet.”

Everett brushed his fingers through his golden hair in a casual manner. “I did well enough. My father will be much satisfied.”

“I did all right as well,” Christopher said with a wry smile and shrugged, “I did get a little lazy near the end, and it shows... But it's not too bad.”

Owen bit his bottom lip in anticipation and flipped the paper open. As he read through it, he made a lot of different grimaces. The others laughed at his expressions. “How bad is it?” asked Harvey and fixed his glasses.

“It's actually not that bad,” Owen said and offered his papers for the others to see. Daniel grabbed it. “I thought I did a lot worse. My mother will surely grant me some cake for this when I return home!”

“We will have to try some of that cake one day, Owen,” Christopher chuckled, “You talk about it so much. We need to see if it's as good as you say it is.”

Owen smiled in return. “You are much welcome any time you'd like, pal!”

Daniel looked through Owen's grades. They were actually quite fine. It seemed that all of his friends had done well. It was no wonder they never got kicked out of the school in spite of their pranks; their grades would certainly put them in the school's favour.

“How did you do, Daniel?” Everett said. They all looked at him.

Daniel's cheeks became a bit hotter; it was obvious he couldn't evade it any more. He opened the grade papers and looked through it – only to be pleasantly surprised. “Five A's,” he said with wide eyes. _For history, among other things._ He smiled.

“Wow!” Owen said, looking at the papers over Daniel's shoulder, “Your grades are really good! Almost as good as Harvey's!”

“Can I see it?” Everett said and reached for the papers. Daniel let him have it.

Christopher patted his back, “Well done, Dan. Keep it up, and you'll be sure to get into any university you could possibly want to apply to.”

Except that he wasn't supposed to go to a university; he was supposed to take over the family business and become an artisan, just like his father. Daniel's smile faltered slightly as his heart dropped deep down to his stomach, but he didn't say anything.

Everett simply nodded with an unimpressed mien and gave Daniel his papers back. He offered a smile with no warmth in it, “Congratulations, Daniel.”

* * *

Daniel picked out a book and flipped through the pages. _The Rampage of the Vikings – from mere savages to civilised merchants_ was the title; quite dramatic, admittedly, but interesting nonetheless. It reminded him of Serena and her Nordic ancestry.

“Did you guys hear about Thomas?” Timmy said. The others were not as interested in actually looking through any of the books the shop had to offer.

“You mean the prank, Everett pulled on him?” Harvey said.

Owen picked a random book, looking through it without really registering any of the contents of it. “I honestly thought that it was hilarious,” he chuckled, “Everett is such a vile genius.”

Daniel had also heard about it. Everett often pulled these harmless practical jokes. After all, he thought the school would be too awfully boring without them. Thomas Webster had innocently come into the classroom, having bothered absolutely no one, and simply wanting to sit down in his seat. But that turned out to go awry, as the chair skidded and he ended up on the floor with a sore bum instead. The whole class laughed about it, even Thomas himself. “No one makes the school laugh as much as Everett,” Timmy said, seating himself in a chair in the shop.

Harvey walked up to Daniel, looking over his shoulder. “What are you reading, Daniel?”

“A book about Vikings. They're quite interesting,” Daniel said without looking up from the book.

Owen's eyes widened a little bit. “Oh, with the ships and raids and all that? Can I see it?” He put out his hand and Daniel let him have the book, slightly surprised by his friend's sudden interest. Owen started shifting through a few pages, “Do you want to be a historian, Daniel? You always have your nose in these kinds of books.”

He shrugged. “Not quite... I'm not sure which path I'll walk yet.”

“My father got educated at Oxford,” Harvey said and nodded, “That is where I want to go!”

Timmy sat up a bit more straight, looking around at the others with a pair of large, curious teal eyes. “What do you all plan to do when you graduate from King's?”

Owen finally shifted his gaze from the book and shrugged, “I haven't thought that far yet. I'll probably go to some university somewhere. That's what my parents would want.” He grinned at the boy with the round glasses, “I might join you at Oxford, Harvey.”

“You should be much welcome,” Harvey chuckled. Owen gave his shoulder a friendly nudge.

Timmy grimaced, “With the grades I've got now, I doubt I'll be able to manage a university... I think I'm going to settle for the sea life.”

The others stared at him. “Sea life?” Harvey said, “But aren't you the one who always gets sea sick, Timmy?”

Timmy scoffed. “It's not that bad! I'll get used to it!” he said with a hint of irritation over his friends not taking him seriously. “I want to be a sailor. I want to travel around the world. I want more than England!”

Daniel smiled. He knew exactly how his friend felt.

“All right, then, it's all up to you,” Owen chuckled. He turned to look at Daniel and handed him the book back, “What about you, Daniel? What do you want to do after King's?”

Daniel couldn't help but wonder if he should answer what he _wanted_ to do or _had_ to do. It could turn out to be some quite disparate answers. He accepted the book from Owen and opened it to a random page; there was an illustration of a mad Viking on his way to war. “I... My father wants me to take over the family business,” he said quietly.

“That sounds interesting. It's always much easier when you already have a job and future secured,” Harvey said and nodded, “What does your father do?”

Daniel didn't know if he should act like he was excited. “He's an artisan.”

Owen smiled, “That is right, you told me! You are indeed very good with the materials, I saw that back in Easter. You would make a great artisan, Daniel!”

“You have to do the furniture for my house,” Timmy added with great eagerness.

“I thought you were going to be a sailor, Tim? Sailors don't have houses, they live in their ships on the sea!”

“Is that so? Then I want to be a soldier.”

“You sure get some creative ideas...”

Daniel put the book about Vikings back on the shelf; he wasn't going to buy it, he would borrow it at the school library instead. He didn't really listen to the others as he became lost in his own thoughts. It seemed that it was all already decided for him; he was going to be an artisan. He was going to build furniture for his friends. He was going to take over the business from his father. How could he go to a university if his father didn't approve? Why was he holding on to the frail hope that he might be able to break free? He wanted to travel around the world. He wanted more than the life of a shopkeeper. He wanted more than England.

But he couldn't tell his friends that he was going to the university, for right now it was but a dream.

* * *

It had become July. The boys of King's were completely caught up in their studies. Even though they had received their grades now, they couldn't just relax for now it was the grades of the exams that were at stake. Daniel and his friends spent most of their free time studying; they had to be well prepared, so they went through all of their notes again and read up on the whole curriculum for the past school year.

The library was quiet. They all shared a table, noses stuck in the books. Every now and then one of them looked up to scribble down some notes instead, but not much other movement occurred.

Everett looked at the others. He was bored; he couldn't focus this long on something so dull. He never understood the likes of Harvey, who had the patience and capacity to always put time and effort into his schoolwork. Luckily, Everett would never become that caught up in anything as trivial as _school_.

He spoke up, “I got an idea a while ago.”

The others looked up, slightly surprised. “What is it?” Owen said.

Everett got sparkles in his eyes, those same sparkles that always appeared when he was up to no good. “I was thinking,” he started, looking around at his friends. Daniel noticed how he almost purposely looked directly past him, though. “How fun could it be if the horses ran loose on the school ground?”

The others dropped their jaws, unable to believe the boldness of Everett's new scheme. “Are you serious, Everett?” Timmy said with eyes as wide and round as teacups, though a hint of excitement had started to reveal itself.

Daniel mentally shook his head and looked down at his book again.

“Hear me out, now!” Everett said and waved his hands, “I've thought about it for a while, and there is no way the horses could get hurt! There are no dangerous fences or cobbles that they could trip over. And I think it is the perfect way to live up things a bit around here! It should be at night when everyone is in their pyjamas and completely disoriented.” A devilish grin formed on his lips as he couldn't contain a chuckle, “Mr. Martins will explode!”

Christopher looked at the others. “To be honest, it sounds like it could be really hilarious,” he laughed.

“My brother actually did something along those lines when he went to school,” Timmy said, nodding with great enthusiasm, “He said it was a great success, and even the teachers thought it to be funny!”

“It's genius! You should do it, Everett!” Owen said.

Daniel couldn't ignore this any more. “Wait,” he said. All the other boys turned their heads and looked at him. “I don't think it's a very good idea. What if the horses suddenly ran away and we wouldn't be able to catch them again?”

“I am a monitor, so I can make sure that all the gates around the school are locked firmly,” Harvey said, “It is no problem whatsoever. I don't see what could go wrong, as long as the plan is followed carefully!” Daniel frowned. He could feel that he was losing this battle.

“Please, Everett, do it!” Timmy pleaded.

Everett shook his head, laughing. “Everyone will expect that,” he said, “If anyone finds me lurking around the school grounds at night, they will suspect it at once. We should have someone a bit more popular with the teachers do it.”

“Like Harvey?” Christopher said.

Harvey shook his head, “It would never do! I am way too clumsy, and you all know that I'm not very comfortable around horses...”

“No, it should be Daniel!” Timmy said, “He's perfect! He's great with horses and the teachers would never suspect him!”

They all agreed and encouraged the idea. Daniel looked up, feeling very alerted. He was not about to do something that foolish. He still remembered clearly how it all went down the last time – and it did not work out in his favour, to say the least. “No!” he said, “I won't!”

“Please, Daniel!” Timmy said.

Christopher continued, “Timmy's right, you're perfect! You are the only one who will be able to pull this off. The teachers all know that we are infamous for pulling these pranks, but they won't expect you to do it!”

“You are perfect, Dan,” Everett said and smiled. He seemed to put a certain stress on the word _perfect_.

Daniel felt uncertain. He shook his head rapidly, “Have you all forgotten about the Advent ceremony? I was caught back then! I got suspended!”

“Only because Everett told the Headmaster that you did it,” Harvey said.

“Which was not all right.” Christopher gave Everett a look. The blond shook his head in regret. Daniel couldn't help but feel that the young Hammond didn't regret anything at all.

Timmy looked even more eager now. “But if it wasn't for Everett, you would have gotten away with it! They would never think you could do anything like that again, Daniel, they think you're too good and perfect!” Daniel looked at him perplexed. He didn't know if that was supposed to be a compliment or an insult.

“Hey,” Owen said with a surprisingly stern voice. The others looked at him with raised eyebrows, never having expected the gentle boy to be able to assert himself like that. “If Daniel doesn't want to do it, we shouldn't pressure him.” Then the well-known smile returned to his face, “I can do it.”

Daniel's eyes widened. The others suddenly looked very guilt-ridden. “Yes, you're right, Owen,” Christopher said, “He's our friend, we shouldn't force it upon him.”

“He is just so perfect…” Timmy mumbled. Harvey nodded; Everett said nothing.

Daniel couldn't let him do that. He didn't want Owen to be suspended, or perhaps even kicked out of the school. His grades were not as good as Daniel's. Doing something that outrageous might be the last straw for him. “No, Owen,” he said, “It's dangerous!”

Owen laughed, “That might be overdramatising it a bit, don't you think?” But soon he stopped and offered his friend a reassuring smile, “It's all right, Daniel. If you don't want to do it, that's fine. But I think it's a genius idea, and you can't keep me from wanting to realise it!”

Daniel bit his lip. This was not what he wanted. Owen was his best friend. He couldn't deal with if he was to be kicked out of the school.

“Then that's settled,” Everett said and leaned back in the chair, “All right, it's time to start planning...”

“Wait!” Daniel said. They all looked at him. Everett raised an eyebrow. He moistened his lips and looked around at them; he couldn't believe he was about to say this. “I'll do it.”

Owen stared at him. “Really, Daniel? But I'm fine with it.”

Daniel shook his head, “No, you are all right. I'm perfect. They won't ever suspect me. It's best that I do it.”

They all looked around at each other confused. Everett smiled. “Perfect, Daniel.”

* * *

It was quiet. Daniel had waited till the sun had finally set, and at this time of the year, that didn't happen until very late. He didn't like that he had to go through with the plan in the dark, but that was how Everett had said it had to be done. When it finally became dark outside, he grabbed the lantern and ventured out. Owen kept guard in the hallways while he went on his way.

He stopped when he reached the courtyard and waited. It didn't take long till he saw the light in the distance. Over by the stables, a light flickered brighter and became dimmer, three times in a row. Harvey had checked and locked all the gates around the school now. Daniel sighed and made a circle movement with his arm, so the lantern formed a curve with its light. Then he continued towards the stables.

He didn't meet Harvey on the way. He had probably already sneaked back to his room. Daniel wanted to go back as well and just forget about the plan. At least he only had to let all the horses out, then he could go back to his room and act as if he was asleep.

He could hear some of the horses snort when he neared the stables. As soon as he went inside, he saw Pride's elegant head looking out from his stall near the end of the hallway. He chuckled and whispered, “Hello Pride.” The colt nodded its head, neighing softly.

Daniel looked around. All the horses were calm. It might not turn out to be the disaster he imagined it would, with panicked horses running around on the school grounds; maybe they would just calmly walk about minding their own businesses, eating grass here and there. That _would_ actually be very funny.

He began opening the stall doors one after the other, but soon realised that the horses weren't budging. They just stood still inside their stalls, looking at him with their ears pointing forward in curiosity. Some of them nipped at his sleeve, hoping for a treat.

Daniel scratched the back of his head. This wasn't the plan. Everett wanted them to walk out of the stables so that everyone would notice them. He had to lure the horses out somehow.

He opened the last of the stalls. Only some of the horses reacted. A few of them walked out onto the stable hallway. Some even ventured into one of the other horses' stall and started eating their hay. Pride went up to Daniel and nudged his shoulder. He patted the colt's neck. It stood still in front of him, just waiting for its rider to lead it wherever he wanted it to go.

Daniel walked around Pride and went down to the stall furthest down the hallway. An old mare stood there. She offered him nothing but an uninterested glance, then continued eating, not letting Daniel disturb her peace. He groaned; he had to get these horses out. Why weren't they just walking out of the stable by themselves?

Daniel put the lantern on the half-wall and went into the stall. He grabbed the mare's halter and tried leading her out, but she did not move; she was a stubborn one. Daniel frowned and started tugging on the halter a bit harder, and suddenly she moved. He fell backwards in surprise. The mare bumped into him and shoved him against the wall, causing the whole stall to shake.

The lantern fell off the half-wall and shattered. Burning oil spilled out onto the hay. A spark ignited.

The mare walked calmly out into the hallway, her tail basking back and forth in annoyance. The other horses became slightly uneasy by the smell of burning dry grass. They neighed louder and lurched their heads, stamping their hooves on the concrete ground.

Daniel was a bit disoriented following the impact against the stable wall. He had heard something shatter. He looked around, noticing that the light no longer came from where he had placed the lantern on the half-wall. A strange, atrocious smell reached his nostrils. Then he saw it – it had already spread throughout most of the stall, and it was about to consume the next one as well. A fire had started, and the flames were spreading faster and faster.

The horses were panicking. They walked out of their stalls and stamped their hooves violently, some of them trotting out of the stable. Daniel's mind went blank as he stared at the dangerous dance of heat making its way through the building, his whole being numb and completely paralysed. He slowly backed away from the fire and back down the hallway without taking his eyes off it, too shocked to sense any of the chaos going on around him. He couldn't feel the sweat running down his forehead or the tremble in his hands, but suddenly there was a sharp pain in his ribs. He fell sidewards, right into the saddle room – and the door locked behind him.

He felt dazed; his left side hurt incredibly. He pulled up his shirt and saw the horseshoe-shaped bruise. _Beautiful. You got yourself kicked by a horse._

Daniel groaned and pushed himself up on his elbows with great effort while trying to look around the room. Everything was completely dark. The only bit of light was what came in from under the door – from the fire. There was a lot of noise coming from the other side of the door. All the horses shrieked loudly and their hooves thundered out of the stable.

He bit back the pain and crawled towards the door. He mustered strength in his left fist and hammered on it while holding on to his ribs with the right; it wouldn't open. He couldn't determine how much the fire had spread any more, but he could feel the heat, and it was becoming unbearable. The smoke was dense now, dense and black coming from under the door. He began to feel trouble breathing as fluid formed in his throat and cold sweat trickled down the side of his face. It went fast, too fast.

Daniel sat down again, leaned against the door and stared into the dark surrounding him. He felt it come back; his eyes widened, his heart went at an unusual speed and he was a mere child again. This was it. He was going to die. Consumed by the darkness, and this time also flames. It wouldn't let him out. He was locked inside, forever imprisoned, never to escape.

_**No escape.** _

The flames flickered. Shadows formed in the little bit of light there was. Monstrous faces were laughing at him, pointing at him, getting closer.

His ribs hurt. His head was heavier than he had ever felt it before; his temples thundered at an alarming rate, causing him to feel nauseous all the while the fluid continued to collect in his airway. His eyes became moist, and he closed them. He gasped for air; nothing but smoke filled his lungs. His chest began to burn. Even if he wanted to, he couldn't move. It was his own fault, he had been too incautious with the lantern.

“ _What in heavens is going on?”_

“ _How did this fire start?!”_

Far voices in the distance. If only they would reach him. Daniel struggled to stay conscious.

He let out a quiet yelp as he felt a burning sensation against his back and he was flung away from his seat; the fire broke in and broke down the wooden door behind him, instead blocking the exit itself. Wild flames licked the walls and floor. The heat became even more intense, causing the world around him to seem to move in slow waves. The shadows became even darker and bigger, dancing their devil dance and reaching out for Daniel to join them. He couldn't escape; he either had to go to the fire or the darkness.

_**No escape.** _

The walls collapsed. The saddles and brushes and bridles were all consumed. Daniel fell onto the floor, his body too heavy. He looked up to glance at the blurred world around him. He was no longer surrounded by dark, but a few shadows in the distance lingered on the other side of the flames. He realised they weren't shadows – they were figures. The distant voices.

“ _Hurry! Over here!”_

“ _This fire is rapid!”_

He tried calling out to them, but his voice was nothing but a hoarse whisper over his dry lips – and with it came up some of the liquid that had accumulated in his lungs. His whole body was weak, he felt a numb pain in his veins as the blood cells continued to decrease with the lack of oxygen. The flames were coming, and the shadow creatures retreated. They had always feared the light, but this time that light wasn't there to protect him.

Daniel blinked. His vision was sailing. He couldn't stay awake any more.

“ _Oh my God! Someone, help! One of the boys is trapped in here!”_

The voices came closer, yet they faded.

“ _BRING MORE WATER! HE NEEDS MEDICAL ATTENTION!”_

Maybe it was time to go to the light.

* * *

“ _Daniel? Are you all right?”_

Light blinded him.

Daniel opened his eyes. At first he couldn't see anything clearly. Everything was so bright. He wondered if this was Heaven. He felt very ill, though; he had a major headache and felt like he could vomit at any time. At least there were no shadows here.

But then everything became a bit clearer. The light wasn't so bright any more.

“ _Please answer, Daniel!”_

Daniel turned his head, searching for the source of the familiar voices. He cringed when he tried to move; his left ribs hurt. For a moment he didn't remember what had happened.

“ _I can't believe that it went like this. It was the worst idea!”_

Finally his vision cleared. He was in a white room with a lot of beds with white sheets. He recognised the place; it was the hospital ward of the school.

He looked around. His friends leaned over him. Owen, Timmy and Harvey; Christopher and Everett; all staring at Daniel with wide, fearful eyes. Suddenly he remembered, though it felt like a distant dream – or nightmare, rather. He frowned with squinted eyes. “It seems … I failed the mission?”

The others let out a half-hearted laugh. Timmy looked like he was on the verge of tears. “The teachers said you could have _died_ , Daniel!” he blurted, immediately nudged hard in his side by Owen.

“Timmy, he's not dead now, is he!” Harvey scolded.

Christopher bit his lip, “Daniel, we never thought it would go so wrong... We just figured you would let out the horses and come back… Then we heard all the shouts, and at first we just thought that people had discovered the horses, but then there was a lot of panic, and everyone saw the fire by the stables…”

“It was my fault,” Everett said. All the colour in his face was gone. “It was my idea. I brought you and all the horses in danger. Duchess is...”

He paused, biting his lip. Daniel frowned. Had something happened?

Owen sighed, continuing on behalf of his friend, “Daniel, Duchess was injured quite a lot. She didn't make it.”

It was like a splash of ice cold water. He felt completely numb.

“Luckily she was the only one hurt that bad,” Harvey said, sending looks of pity in Everett's direction; Christopher rubbed his friend's shoulder. “I think Pride is completely fine. Just a bit disturbed, is all.”

Daniel stared out into blue air. He couldn't believe he had been this foolish. Just because he absolutely had to bring that damned lantern. Because of that, the plan failed. And now Everett's Duchess was gone, and he nearly got himself killed. Because of his idiotic, irrational fear of the dark. He should never have done it. He should have just let Owen do it instead. He would never have been so stupid.

His head hurt so much; he closed his eyes. “How long have I been out?” he said quietly.

“Just a few days.” It was Christopher who answered.

Daniel sighed and averted his gaze to the window by his bed. “I guess there is no doubt about me being kicked out of the school now,” he said.

The others looked at each other. “Actually…” Owen started. Daniel looked at them again with confusion.

“We have all explained the circumstances to the Headmaster,” Christopher continued, “We... We said that we were the ones who forced you to do it, and it wasn't your intention to start a fire.”

“I told Wallace that it was my idea, and mine alone,” Everett said, “I'll be suspended from the exams.”

“You won't be kicked out of the school, Daniel,” Timmy said with a small smile.

Daniel merely stared at them. He really didn't feel good at all.

Harvey spoke up, “But that doesn't mean you won't be punished, unfortunately... You'll be suspended, just like Everett.” He fixed his glasses, “You... You will both leave in a few days.”

“And the rest of us have church duty,” Owen said. He averted his gaze to his feet and continued, “Daniel, I was so scared... They said you might have inhaled too much smoke...”

Timmy added, “We have been visiting you every day to see if you would wake up, Dan.”

“Your parents have been here to try and take you home, but the school wouldn't allow them till you woke up,” Christopher said. He was unable to keep a knowing smile from forming on his lips as he added, “With perhaps a bit of influence from some of our parents. We have all been very worried.”

Daniel was amazed. They had all fought his case. They had defended him. They had been here each and every day, going out of their mind of worry for him. Never had he ever experienced such support – and never had he deserved it less.

“You are ...” he started. They all fell completely silent. Despite his uncomfortable state and the overwhelming nausea, he managed to force a smile. “You are all ... incredible. I'm so sorry about all the trouble I caused...”

They all smiled back at him. “We are just glad that you're all right, my friend,” Harvey said, “I guess we all really learned a valuable lesson, huh?”

Everyone nodded. “No more pranks,” Everett said and sighed, “No more.”

Just then, they were interrupted by a stern, high-pitched voice. “Mr. Wilkinson is awake! Why have you boys not said anything? Get out of here, you're suffocating him!”

It was the school's physician, Mr. Bolton. He rushed all the boys out of the room in order for Daniel to get some rest. Daniel couldn't help but be glad that he didn't have to face them any more, even though he was thankful. These boys were his friends; despite all his past doubts about them and their earlier dubious actions, they stood by his side when it really had mattered. But the guilt ate at him, and so he could do nothing but regret that they wasted their loyalty on such a fool as himself.

 


	25. Being A Fool

A few more days, then Daniel went home. His early summer vacation started just two weeks before his birthday. All the studying he had done, all the preparations he had made, all that was thrown right out the window; he was not allowed to go to the exams, so all his hard work had been for naught.

Pride was all right, just like the others had said. He was still a bit distraught by the whole experience, but he apparently had stormed out of the building before the fire had become rapid, so he did not suffer too much from the shock.

Daniel was not let off easily, though. He might have been determined recovered enough to go home, but he definitely didn't feel fine; he was in a constant state of nausea, and the headaches never left him alone, the drumming against his temples making it hard for him to even think clearly or process anything. He was told that he should consider himself lucky to even be alive, but with all the fainting and vomiting everyday, he might as well have succumbed to the flames – not to mention the punishment he received when he was brought home.

Even though he had almost died of smoke inhalation and his ribs were still sore, his father was furious with him. John nearly beat him up again, but seeing as Daniel was already pretty knocked about, he made do with just giving him a scolding that probably could be heard all over Kent.

At least it was finally summer. Daniel had waited for this for so long. Finally Serena was back.

He couldn't wait to see her. He knew that she had arrived in Canterbury a few weeks ago. He didn't care that he wasn't in the best shape to run around the countryside; as soon as he returned home, he put on some decent clothes and hurried out to go find her. When he saw the tall oak trees and the great white mansion in the distance, the butterflies in his stomach went mad. He didn't know why, but he felt incredibly nervous and slightly sick, but that might just have been the after-effects of the smoke inhalation. He couldn't stop fidgeting with his sleeves, his waistcoat, his tie, his hair, anything.

He walked behind the trees, keeping himself out of sight. There was a lot of noise coming from the house, voices chattering and laughing. He sneaked around to the garden, looking inside through the nicely trimmed hedge. It looked like a huge dinner party was being held. Daniel recognised Serena's father. He was talking to his genteel friends, who all looked to be aristocratic and wealthy much like himself. They were laughing and taking sips of their expensive drinks.

Mr. Thórsson was a handsome and charming Icelandic man. The colour in his hair had faded a bit, but it was obvious that it used to be bright red. His skin was very light, so Daniel understood how Serena could have such a fair complexion despite her mother's dark skin.

Daniel looked around the garden a bit, recognising more members of Serena's family. He saw Regina standing with an elderly woman and a young man her own age. That must have been the suitor, Serena mentioned in her letter. He couldn't see Jemma anywhere, but Katharina was there, standing with a group of older ladies and gentlemen. And a little distance from her, on a small bench isolated from all the other people, sat his best friend. Daniel bit his lip. “Serena!” he whispered.

At first she didn't react. She was reading a book.

“ _Serena!”_

Finally she looked up. She searched around with squinted eyes, a frown furrowing the clear skin between her eyebrows.

“Over here!”

Serena turned around. Her eyes widened as she saw him. _“Daniel!”_

“Can you come out here?” he said. She nodded and went on her way inside the house. Soon she came out through the main door and met him on the other side of the hedge.

Daniel felt like he was lifted off of the ground when he saw her. She was even more beautiful than the previous year. Her hair had changed; it had grown longer, and he really wanted to run his fingers through it for it looked so soft, but he managed to contain himself. This time the modest ribbon around her slender neck was replaced with a real satin choker, embellished with a pearl charm, which matched the colour of her elegant pastel dress. Her cheeks sported a faint pink flush, and the slanting, brown eyes sparkled beautifully. Her chest and hips were even larger, her waist even smaller. Her lips, pink and plump and inviting.

“What are you doing here? Are you completely mad? What if anyone sees you?” she blurted.

He grabbed her by the shoulders. “I don't care,” he said, “I had to see you.”

Serena stared up at him for a moment, and he could have sworn he saw her flushed cheeks turn even more red – then she embraced him hard. His ribs hurt, but he didn't mind; it was a good kind of pain. “I was so worried!” she said and looked into his eyes, “Why didn't you answer any of my letters? I wrote to you so many times! And oh God, how tall you have grown…”

“I'm sorry,” he said and brushed a few strands of dark brown hair away from her face, “There were some … family complications. But that doesn't matter now. I have a surprise for you.”

Serena's eyes widened. “A surprise? What is it?”

Daniel gave her a teasing smile. “Now, if I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise, would it?”

“All right, then,” she said and rolled her eyes in amusement, “But Daniel, you need to go now. I have to go back. My family will start looking for me…”

He raised his eyebrows, a bit confused by her sudden demand. “Um... All right. But can we meet again soon?”

Serena gave him an apologetic look, “Daniel, I am very, very busy, I... I'm not sure when we can meet... A lot of things are happening right now... You really have to go!” She began shoving him in the other direction.

Gentle as the shove was, something about her behaviour was just a bit off. He frowned and grabbed her wrists. “What? What is going on?”

“Nothing! But you have to go!” she persisted, trying to break free of his grip.

Serena was acting strange. Why was she in such a hurry to have him leave? Did she not want her family's high-class friends to see her with him? Was she _embarrassed?_ The headache was nagging him very much at this moment.

Daniel let go of her. “Fine. But won't we be able to see each other at all this summer, then?”

“Of course, we will!” she said, “I just can't see you right now.”

“What about tomorrow?”

She bit her lip, “No, I can't. Not for the next few weeks, I'm afraid.”

Daniel stared at her, feeling completely discouraged. “Not even for my birthday?”

“No! No, Daniel, of course I'll be with you on your birthday, you know there is nothing I rather would!” she said and placed her hands on each side of his face, “But you really have to go now!”

“So we'll meet on my birthday?” he said with raised eyebrows, not feeling completely convinced. His hands were trembling slightly, but he ignored it.

She nodded. “Definitely!”

“You promise?”

Serena leaned forward and pecked him on the cheek. “I promise.”

Daniel felt all of his blood rush to his face. Serena let go of him and began making her way back to the mansion, waving at him. He went home, feeling like the butterflies in his stomach finally fainted from exhaustion. And then he threw up.

* * *

“Danny... Tell me what is the matter.”

Daniel looked up. Hazel smiled at him and put her small, pale hand above his. She had lost so much weight. She didn't look like herself any more. Her green eyes looked larger than usual, but they did not have the same sparkle in them. She looked like she was fading.

He forced a smile. “I don't know what you mean, Hazel. Don't you want another fairytale?”

“I want my brother to lighten up a bit,” she said softly, “You have been so quiet these past few days, even towards me. You look like you have a lot on your mind, yet you keep telling me that nothing is wrong.” She hesitated slightly before she added, “And I know that you haven't completely recovered from that horrible accident at your school...”

Daniel turned his gaze to the soft duvet. Hazel was still confined to her bed – not because the Doctor said that she should be, but because she barely had the strength to move out of it any more. Daniel spent all of his time in her room when he didn't have to help their father in the studio, reading to her until his migraine became too much, after which they would just talk about anything their minds would stumble upon. It actually seemed to have helped on her condition; she was more alert and some of the colour had returned to her face. She had asked about the school, and he told her what had happened; the fire, Everett's horse, everything. She didn't judge him like he feared she would. She was just glad that he wasn't more injured than he was.

He shook his head, “There really is nothing wrong, Hazel.”

“Is there not?” Hazel said. She gave him a look of worry with her large, doll-like eyes. Daniel turned his head away again. When she looked at him like that, it was hard to keep a straight face. Hazel giggled, “You don't fool me, brother. I know you too well.”

He let out a soft chuckle and smiled. She gestured for him to move closer to her, “Now, tell me what is bothering you.”

Daniel sighed. A lot of things were bothering him. His sister was bedridden, becoming weaker and weaker as the days went by. He knew about Mr. Evans' murder, and Henrietta knew about Serena. He nearly had himself and his horse killed in a fire, and it was his fault that his friend lost his horse. Besides the shame and guilt, he still felt a lingering anxiety by the thought of that night in the King's stables; that long-forgotten nightmare surfacing, how much that could have gone awfully wrong, how he had stared Death in the eyes once again. What could possibly _not_ be wrong?

But Hazel was very intuitive. She did notice that there was something else also, something he didn't tell her about. And she was indeed right that there was something in particular that had been bothering him ever since he returned home. “It's nothing really, it's just…” he started, fidgeting with his shirtsleeve. Hazel watched him patiently. She knew that he needed time, not only because his head had been very foggy ever since he suffered the smoke inhalation, but in general he had never had an easy time opening up to anyone. “I talked to Serena a few days ago, and she is apparently awfully busy... She cannot meet me until my birthday.”

Hazel laughed softly, “At least she is not busy _on_ your birthday! I understand that you miss her, but I honestly thought that it was something a bit more serious than that!”

Daniel looked at her with a frown. “It's not that,” he said. Hazel's smile disappeared. “It's... She was in such a hurry to have me leave. As if she was stressed about me being there. As if she didn't want to see me at all, because...”

“Because?” Hazel raised an eyebrow.

He looked down at his hands and sighed, “Because maybe she was afraid to be seen with me...”

Hazel stayed silent for a bit. “But… I thought you were supposed to keep your relationship a secret?”

“Yes, but-!” Daniel looked at her with real worry in his eyes, “It didn't seem like that was the reason, though! I think… I think that she is ashamed of me.”

“Ashamed of you?” Hazel said in disbelief, “Why would she be ashamed of you, Daniel? You are a perfect young man.”

Daniel didn't look like he believed it himself – especially not after everything that had happened. “You might think so, Hazel, but I'm certain that she would be embarrassed to have her aristocratic friends greet a … middle-class … _foolish_ boy like me. I… I do not belong in her world...”

Hazel fell silent. She watched her brother as he fell deep in thought. He looked so frustrated, and awfully pale. Always did he seem so troubled and lost in his own world of worries. She prayed for a day when he would finally be happy and at ease. She thought for a bit, then said, “Daniel... Do you feel something for Serena … stronger than friendship?”

Daniel didn't answer right away. He kept staring down at his hands, but Hazel could tell that he wasn't actually deep in thought any more. He seemed to have frozen in place. “I can't stop thinking about her...” he said at last, unable to look his sister in the eyes, “I kissed her...”

Hazel's eyes widened. “My goodness! Did you really kiss her?”

He nodded. “Last summer.” His hand reached inside his shirt and fished out the heart-shaped locket; he clicked it open and showed the portrait inside to Hazel. “She also gave me this.”

“Is that her?” Hazel said, her bright green eyes wider than ever, “Oh, she's so pretty, Danny! Did she kiss you back?” She looked back up at him, more excited than Daniel had seen her for a mighty long time; she wasn't even scandalised by what he had just told her.

He chuckled and clicked the locket shut again. It was good seeing her acting more like her normal self again. “She did… For a little while, at least.”

Hazel broke into a bright smile. “Then I don't understand what you are so worried about! She would be crazy not to be dazzled by your good looks, Daniel!”

“And you're not just saying this because you're my sister?” Daniel said and raised an eyebrow. He couldn't contain his laughter when the small girl slapped his arm. He was surprised she even had the strength!

“Of course not!” she exclaimed, “Stop being a fool, Daniel! Tell her how you feel!”

Daniel got a serious look on his face. “Tell her? Are you sure?”

Hazel smiled at her older brother and took his hand, “Daniel, I don't believe she is ashamed of you. I think she wants to protect you. Just like you have protected her all these years. I know that she cares about you just as much as you care about her, I just do, even despite never having had the opportunity to meet her.”

He considered what she said. Perhaps she was right. Maybe Serena was too scared of losing him to risk having anyone see them together. He himself had been too incautious; both Henrietta and Henry had found out, after all. Maybe Serena just knew better.

Daniel smiled at Hazel, feeling something warm starting to bubble inside of him. “All right,” he said, “I'll tell her.” Hazel smiled brightly and embraced her brother. He got up from the bed, “I need to go prepare. I can't meet her and then not know what to say!”

She laughed, “Of course not. Good luck, brother!” As the door closed behind him, Hazel rapidly dug under her pillow, the urge almost unbearable. She grabbed hold of the bottle underneath it and unscrewed the lid. She took only a small sip, but it was enough. The pains in her chest slowly subsided again, and she felt happy, so happy, and so relaxed.

She was not in her room any more. She was flying. She never wanted to let go of this feeling.

* * *

Daniel was going to tell Serena. He didn't know how she would react, but it had to be perfect. He wanted to do something grand for her, a romantic surprise – out in the clubhouse. He was so grateful that Owen had helped him finish the building. The house had turned out so much better than he had hoped. His skills had really improved, and Owen had been quite the help. Over the course of the next week, whenever he had the time, he went out to the house with pillows and blankets, candles, glasses, and he even managed to sneak one of John's expensive wines out of his private cabinet.

Daniel arranged the pillows a bit, then backed away from the house to see how it looked. It was beautiful. He sighed, feeling satisfied. He couldn't wait. He was sure that it would turn out to be the best birthday he had ever had. If he was lucky, he might get another kiss. That would definitely be the greatest present he could imagine.

“Beautiful work, Wilkinson. That house sure looks much neater than the one you built for me.”

Not again. How did he even manage to find him so far out in the Blean woods? Daniel closed his eyes, trying not to let his irritation show.

Henry walked up to Daniel and took a look inside. “Oh my,” he said with raised eyebrows, “It looks like the complete love hut.”

“Did you want something, Henry?” Daniel groaned and crossed his arms, green eyes fixed on the small house in front of him, refusing to look at the sturdy blond. If he was coming to demand more money, he could just say it now; there was no need to drag it on.

Henry completely ignored him. “Don't tell me,” he said with a stupid grin, “that you actually think you stand a chance with that lass? What would she want with _you?”_

“Weren't you supposed to look after your mother? After all the trouble I went through to get you that money, I thought you would be a little more grateful,” Daniel spat, finally turning his gaze towards his former classmate.

“Oh, I _am_ grateful, Daniel! My advice is my way of saying 'thank you',” Henry said and walked closer to the young man, “And here it is for you on a silver plate; _just give up already._ You'll never be good enough for her. Don't you think she knows that already?”

Daniel clenched his teeth together. It took him all of his self-control not to lash out at Henry. He wanted to remove that stupid smile from his face with his own bare hands, but he was not going to sink down to his level. “I'd rather be without your advice, thank you very much,” he said in a low voice, “Let me work in peace, Henry.”

The menacing tone made Henry back away a bit. His smile faltered. Daniel glared at him, daring him to make his next move. He was not afraid of his tormentor any more.

At last, Henry merely snorted. “You're such a fool, Daniel,” he said, “But if you want a broken heart, that's your choice.”

He turned around and walked away. Daniel stared after him, fisting his hands. He refused to believe him. He refused.

* * *

The flowers were beautiful. Daniel had spent the whole day wandering around the meadow where he and Serena had first met, picking flowers; it had turned into quite the bouquet. He was not a florist nor an expert on blossoms, but he thought that it looked very pretty and colourful. He put the flowers in a vase – which he had also grabbed from home – and hid them out in the house. When it was time to meet Serena, he would go pick them up and tie them in a pretty ribbon, so they would look presentable. He didn't know where he got all that creativity from, but he certainly liked his little nifty ideas.

Daniel returned home after his work, feeling light and excited in spite of his slight headache. Henry had not managed to bring him down despite his efforts. Nothing could ruin Daniel's excitement. He couldn't wait. He was nervous, but he somehow knew that it couldn't go wrong. He felt confident when it came to Serena. He trusted her.

“Daniel.”

He turned around on the stairs. Henrietta gazed at him with a stern look in her blue eyes. They had been avoiding each other ever since Daniel came home from the school. It was obvious she still didn't feel like talking to him, and he felt no different. “What is it?” he said.

“You will be attending a dinner for your birthday,” she said coldly, “No slips this time. I assure you I won't take it lightly if you don't show up, and neither will your father.”

Daniel stared at her in disbelief. Had she learned _nothing_ from the experience the previous year? He didn't want a birthday dinner! And he certainly wasn't going to give up his plans with Serena because of one!

She saw the expression in his face and added before he had the chance to answer, “I don't want to argue with you, young man. You better just do as you're told.”

“But you know that I won't!” he blurted, “I have other plans!”

“What? Plans with your little friend?” He saw how she nearly rolled her eyes. “Don't be so immature. A large part of the Canterbury society is coming to celebrate you.”

Daniel wanted to kick something. Really hard. “Why do I have to be celebrated? I don't want a dinner! I couldn't care less about the Canterbury society! Can you not spare me the attention and give it to Hazel instead?”

“ _ **No!**_ _”_ Henrietta yelled and stamped on the floor so that it resounded throughout the hall. The young man fell silent. He had not ever experienced her raise her voice like that.

“Hazel is _not_ the family inheritor! This is the law of primogeniture, Daniel!” she snapped, “The family fortune will be handed down to you, and you need to grow up and take responsibility! You have to show the society that you are worthy and that the family name will be safe with you! And _that_ is why a dinner will be held in your honour! Do you understand?”

Daniel didn't respond. He didn't know what to say. Her words merely echoed in his head, over and over again.

Henrietta took a deep breath and regained her calm posture, her lips remaining tight. “Don't bring shame onto our name, Daniel,” she said, “Make your father _proud.”_ She turned around and made her way back to the living room. “You will attend the dinner. If you don't, your father will know about it. Be selfless for once.”

The door slammed behind her.

* * *

The sun was setting. Daniel's head hurt incredibly; he had been feeling very sick the whole day. He looked down at the flowers. They didn't look as pretty any more, not in the orange light. The bouquet really wasn't as great as he had thought. It had been a stupid idea.

It had all been a stupid idea.

It was getting late. He had expected to meet her on the meadow by the Blean forest. They always met here. It was their usual spot. Afterwards they would go into the woods or wander around the meadow. But they always met here first.

The sky was filled with pretty orange and pink hues. Soon it would be dark.

He shivered. He didn't want to go home. He knew what awaited there. His father would be furious, and Henrietta also. Maybe she had already told him everything. All of their middle-class friends had nothing but negative things to say about him, he was sure. To all of them, he was nothing but a disrespectful brat.

But somewhere inside him, a little hope still lingered. Maybe she would show up at the last minute. Perhaps she would come running, apologise to her heart's content for leaving him waiting for hours and hours on end, and then they would spend the whole night together, not caring about their families for once; just treasuring the moment.

He still remembered her words. He remembered the time when she would have never missed this day for the world. He never understood why it was so important to her. She always told him the same thing.

“ _It's a special day because you came to the world! It should be celebrated!”_

_You **should** have been born._

The flowers looked sad, somehow. When he had picked them, they seemed to be bursting with life and colour. Maybe he hadn't cared properly for them after all. It didn't matter anyway. An explosion of all kinds of emotions went off within him; anger, shame, humiliation, regret, sorrow. He had been waiting since morning, and now it was later than evening. Henry was right. He had been so foolish, foolish to even believe that he deserved a happy moment.

He stood up and threw the bouquet on the ground, stamping on it. It was withering anyway, just like his feelings. Looking down at the ill-treated flowers, he couldn't help but feel that this was exactly what Serena had done to his heart; thrown it onto the ground and stamped on it. He felt so utterly betrayed.

_**I might as well have never been born.** _

_Happy birthday, Daniel_ , he thought bitterly and turned around. So much for never wanting to miss out on his birthday.

* * *

Daniel's ribs were even more sore now than before. John had not spared him this time; he was too furious with his immature and selfish son. He had made a fool out of himself and disgraced his family. The society already had trouble accepting the family, all only due to the reckless nature of the brat, they called the heir apparent.

Miss Turner had tended to his wounds afterwards. It stung incredibly. Henrietta came in while the housemaid patched him up, not uttering a single word. Daniel glared at her. She always left the room when John practised his punishments on him. She couldn't watch it, yet she never prevented it. She was a coward and a hypocrite.

The artisan was so angry with his son that he couldn't look at him, so he had left him at home instead of dragging him along with him to the studio as usual. Daniel was fine with that; he would rather spend some time with Pride anyway.

Pride did not act up or play any games like he usually did. He sensed that his rider wasn't well today. He flipped his ears forward and stood perfectly still while Daniel put on his saddle. The weather was nice, so he had brought the young horse outside of the stables and tied him to the bar, so that he could enjoy the fresh air while he curried and saddled him.

Daniel's jaw had been tense for the past two days. He couldn't unclench his teeth. Everything hurt; his back, his limbs, his head, his ribs, and most of all, his heart. The worst thing about it all had not even been the punishment or total humiliation – no, the worst thing was the betrayal. The violation of his trust.

He fisted his hands around the bridle as he was about to tighten it and closed his eyes, biting his lip. Pride nudged the side of his face with his soft muzzle in an attempt to comfort him. Daniel opened his eyes again, his face for once relaxing as he offered the colt a grateful smile.

He continued fastening the gear, trying his hardest to push his feelings aside, but they kept coming back to haunt him. Words could not describe how furious he was. Of everything he was feeling right at this moment, anger was the most prominent emotion. All that work, all for naught. All those hours, knowing that he only had one place to go, and that something horrible awaited him there – and that it was his own damn fault for being disobedient once again.

And the _promise._

She had _**promised!**_

Daniel couldn't keep it together any more. He let out a cry and kicked the ground so hard the gravel flew about. Pride remained calm, merely lowering his head. The young man breathed heavily, refusing to allow himself to lose it. He tried to regain his previous calm posture, and not before long he did. He let out a deep sigh and finished fixing Pride's bridle.

“Daniel?”

He froze. That voice. It couldn't be.

Daniel turned around, not believing his own eyes. For a moment, all the anger he had felt disappeared.

Serena looked at him with her large, brown eyes. Her short form was trembling. She averted her gaze to her fidgety hands shortly, but then looked up at him again. “Daniel, I am so sorry.”

He didn't answer.

“Something came up... I...” She came to a halt, seemingly unsure of what to say. Then she continued, “I just... I came to apologise.”

Daniel looked at her, his oval eyes wide. She didn't say any more. As time passed by, she became more restless. Finally he moved, but only to focus his attention back on Pride, answering with a short, “It's fine.”

Serena stared at him for a moment, expecting him to say more, but he just went on with his business without even sparing her a glance. When she realised that he wasn't going to elaborate further, she blinked and said, “Oh. That's … good, then. Um...” She paused, following him with her eyes. He had finished saddling the colt now. He simply grabbed the currycomb and started currying it again, even though it didn't look like it was needed. “I was hoping...” she continued hesitantly, “... that we might be able to … meet tonight, instead.”

“Shouldn't you head home before anyone finds you here?” Daniel said, not looking away from the brown horse, “Talking to me?”

Serena frowned. “What is that supposed to mean?” She had never heard her friend talk to her like that before.

At last Daniel looked at her, and his eyes said so much more than words could ever hope to. It completely overwhelmed Serena. She saw all the emotions that had exploded inside of him, and at that same moment, she herself burst. “How _dare_ you look at me like that!” she exclaimed, “You have no idea how I feel! You don't know _anything_ about my family! You don't know about the expectations, Daniel! You will never understand what it feels like! All the responsibilities! My life is in _chaos!_ You're not the only one dealing with issues!”

Daniel didn't blink.

“How can you be so selfish? It's not all about you!” Serena cried. Tears formed in the corners of her eyes. “I'm so _stressed_ and _pressured_ , and yet I try my best to support you, and this is all I get in return! _My brother died, and you didn't even answer my letters!”_

She stopped her rambling and stared at Daniel. He still didn't flinch, but the green eyes said more than enough.

Serena broke down. The tears streamed down her pretty face, making her nose and cheeks flushed. “Please forgive me, Daniel,” she sobbed, “I am so sorry... It was your birthday, and I didn't even show up... I feel so bad... I just want to make it up to you again... Just let me...”

Daniel kept staring at her. At her slender hands covering her face. The small shoulders trembling violently. He couldn't stand it. “Serena...” Her crying died down a bit. She sniffed and looked up at him with red eyes. He continued, “All right. We can meet.”

Her eyes widened. She dried her cheeks. “R-really? Tonight?”

He nodded, looking down at his feet.

Serena was baffled. She swallowed back her crying, “All right, then. I-I promise this time. We'll just pretend that it's your birthday today, all right?”

Daniel still didn't say anything. He merely moistened his lips and nodded again.

“We'll meet on the meadow, by the Blean. As usual, right?” she said, her doe eyes almost too painful to look into.

Daniel tried to keep himself from sighing. “Yes, as usual.”

Serena nodded slowly, looking down at her feet. She seemed to be lost in thought for a moment, but then she looked up at him again and offered a tentative smile, “Good… I'll see you later. What time do you want to meet?” He turned his head away to look at Pride instead, and this immediately alarmed Serena. “Any time you want! I promise I'll be there!” she continued hastily.

Daniel looked at her again. He didn't have the heart to tell her that right at this moment, her promises didn't mean anything to him. “Eight o'clock.”

“Eight o'clock! I'll be there!” she said, nodding eagerly.

He sighed and nodded back. Then he finally untied Pride from the bar and mounted him, “Now you better get out of here, before anyone sees you.”

* * *

It was half past seven, and Daniel was in Hazel's room, lying in the bed next to his younger sister with a fairytale book open in his lap. “'As the princess threw the frog against the wall, it suddenly turned and became a handsome prince. The prince said he wanted to marry the princess instantly, and so they lived happily ever after',” Daniel read.

Hazel snorted, “I don't think the princess deserved a happy ending. She was so cruel to the frog before she realised he was a prince. She is just shallow, really!”

Daniel sighed and closed the book. “It just proves that fairy tales actually are realistic portrayals of our world.” He looked at Hazel with a regretful expression, “Sometimes, the bad people get the happy ending, while the good people are left to fend for themselves in the gutter. The real world is unfair, Hazel.”

She pouted and took his hand, “Daniel, please don't be angry any more. I'm certain that Serena is very sorry about standing you up.”

“She is,” he said, looking away, “She came to apologise today and asked me to meet her tonight instead.”

Hazel lit up, “Oh, there you go! See, that's what I told you! When are you supposed to meet, then?”

Daniel crossed his arms, “At eight o'clock.”

“But...” Hazel frowned and looked at the clock on her bed stand, “Daniel, that is in less than thirty minutes!”

“I know,” he said, “I'm not going.”

Hazel gaped at him in disbelief. “What? But why not?”

Finally the young man let his aggravation show. His face contorted in an angry expression, “Because then she might know what it feels like to wait hours and hours for someone, who never intended to show up in the first place!”

“Daniel!” Hazel gasped, “I don't believe this! This is not the dear, loving, forgiving boy that I know! What have you done with my brother?”

Daniel sighed. “He is right here. But he is quite angry…”

She brushed some of his hair away from his face. “I know, Daniel. But please do not sink this deep into your own bitterness. I thought Serena was your best friend. Surely she deserves your forgiveness?”

“I don't know what she deserves any more,” he mumbled, “I don't want to be made a fool of any longer… Especially not by her…”

Hazel tilted her head. “I don't think she wants to make a fool of you, Daniel…” He didn't respond. “Daniel... I think the reason why you are this upset is because you care about her so much…” she said softly, green eyes seeking their siblings, but he avoided her gaze. “You trusted her, and you feel like you were wrong to do so…”

“And I was, wasn't I?” he exclaimed, slicing the air with his hand, “She let me down! I learned my lesson!”

“Is that the lesson you learned?” Hazel said, placing a small hand on the side of his face. He finally looked at her. “Daniel, if you truly love someone, you should be able to let go and forgive. Not lock yourself up and alienate someone you love.”

He closed his eyes, a deep frown furrowing his forehead. “But I don't love her.”

Hazel stared at him. “You don't?”

“Not… Not any more.”

She fell silent and removed her hand from her brother. They both kept quiet for a while. Daniel opened his eyes again and looked away, biting his lip. The young girl spoke up again, “But even if your feelings for her have perished … it is not right of you to want to hurt her just because she hurt you.”

Daniel kept quiet. The sound of the clock ticking filled the room.

“Daniel… Don't be this stranger whom I don't know,” Hazel said, “You are not a man who holds grudges. You are not the type to be angry and never forgive. Through all of these years of taking our father's abuse for the both of us, you never faltered from your good nature once. And you know why?” She took his hands and squeezed them in her own, “Because you are a _better person_ , Daniel. You don't want to hurt anyone. You are not selfish. You are just blinded by your heartache. Go and meet Serena, tell her how you feel. But don't hurt her. She doesn't deserve that, and you don't either.”

Daniel pondered what she said. She had hit all the right nerves. He didn't like it. It was too much of a detailed description of all the things, he knew that he felt but couldn't word himself, and much less understand. It was painful to have to face the truth when you just wanted to shut it all out.

But Hazel was right. It wasn't only Serena's fault that he was so angry; it was just that too many horrible things had happened. He didn't know how to deal with it all any more, and his last hope had been for Serena to make it all better, but even she had let him down. He didn't want to deliberately hurt her, but at the same time he still wanted her to know just how bad she had hurt him. He knew that he was being very selfish. Serena's brother had died recently, and he hadn't even offered his comfort.

“Daniel?” Hazel peeped. Her large eyes were full of worry for her brother.

Daniel kept his gaze lowered, unable to look his sister in the eyes. The frustration and confusion was obvious in his expression. “I guess you're right, Hazel,” he mumbled. He forced himself to look at Hazel, offering a strained, but thankful smile. “I don't know how you have come to know so much, but in the end you are the one who always leads me down the right path again. I don't know where I would end up without you.”

Hazel's lips broke in a bright smile. She embraced her brother hard. He ignored his sore back and ribs, hugging her tight in return. “You're welcome, Danny. I just don't want you to keep sabotaging your own happiness. You don't deserve it,” she said.

“I... I'll go meet her, then,” Daniel said, without really being sure about that decision.

Hazel smiled excitedly. “Then you better get going!” she said, “You're supposed to meet in ten minutes!”

Daniel's eyes widened as he glanced at the clock. He jumped out of the bed and rushed to the door, “I've got to go, Hazel! Bye!”

* * *

The meadow was beautiful as usual. The sun still hung high in the sky despite it being way past dinnertime. Summer in southern England was a magical one.

Serena sighed, leaning up against a tree by the outskirts of the Blean. It had been nearly twenty minutes since they were supposed to meet. She felt restless. Worried. Had something happened? Hopefully not anything serious.

But deep within, she knew what was going on. He was punishing her. Feeding her her own medicine. He probably never wanted to see her again. She had ruined everything.

The tears came back to the corners of her eyes, threatening to redden her face once again. She bit her lip and swallowed the lump in her throat, but soon a tiny sob made its way out anyway. A single tear streamed down her cheek. She wiped it away, cursing her own emotional weakness.

“Serena!”

She looked up with wide eyes. A fair distance away a figure came running towards her, waving. Her heart started beating faster, her whole body sighing in relief. Daniel soon caught up with her, stopping to catch his breath.

It took him an awful amount of time. It wasn't like him at all; Daniel had always been in excellent shape. Serena was nearly afraid that he was going to choke, but then he finally stood up straight and said, “I'm… I apologise for being late.” Serena had both her hands covering her mouth. As he noticed the thin moist membrane over her wide eyes, he spoke, “P-please, don't cry, Serena!”

But she couldn't help it. Tears came out in endless streams. She hugged herself, closing her eyes as she sobbed, “Daniel, I'm so sorry! I know I left you waiting yesterday! I didn't mean to, if I could, I would've found a way to tell you that I couldn't meet after all... I feel horrible, I was so scared you didn't want to see me any more...”

Daniel also felt horrible, but that was for a completely different reason. Normally, he would've embraced her when seeing her like this, but at this moment it didn't feel right. He just cleared his throat and said, “Serena, it's all fine. I'm not angry with you.”

She laughed through her sobs, wiping her tears away as more formed. “I know, else you wouldn't have showed up... God, I feel so silly, crying like this,” she said and sniffed. He pursed his lips. “I just hope you … didn't wait too long before you realised that I wouldn't show up.” She wiped the last tears and looked at him.

Daniel was quiet for a bit. Then he smiled and said, “I didn't wait that long.”

Serena smiled in return. She fidgeted with the lace on her pretty dress and blushed, “Um, I'm sorry I didn't bring you any cakes or a birthday present this year like usual... I've just been really busy, very much so!”

He didn't want cakes nor presents. He just wanted to spend time with her. That was all he had ever wanted. He scratched the back of his head and said, “Well… I do have something for you, though. The surprise, I mentioned a while back.”

Serena's eyes widened, “Oh, I remember! But is it really right that you give me a present when it's your birthday? I don't even have anything for you!”

He smiled, “I'm never there to celebrate your birthday.”

“No, because it's in October,” she giggled, shaking her head.

“So I think it's only fair that I give you something now,” he said, “To make up for all those years, I couldn't be in London for your birthday.” He offered his arm to her, “Now, shall we go?”

She looked at his arm, then up at him. She seemed a bit insecure at first, but then she looped her own arm through his and smiled at him, “Yes, let's.”

 


	26. Trust

Serena's laughter resounded through the forest. “Your friends at the school sound very amiable!”

“Indeed,” Daniel chuckled, “Afterwards Timmy said he would rather be a soldier instead. I don't think he actually knows what he wants to do. He just has his head up in the clouds.”

“But it's endearing. He'll find out eventually,” Serena said, smiling. On their way towards Daniel's surprise, the anger he had felt before had completely disappeared. When Serena smiled at him, laughed, giggled, when her eyes sparkled like that in the small bits of sunlight that made their way through the trees, he just couldn't stay mad at her.

Her laughter died down as they continued walking through the Blean towards their destination. Her smile faded as she looked up at him, “But if all of your friends are planning on going to Oxford… Then, will you go there, too?”

Daniel shrugged and said, “Right at this moment, I'm not sure what I will do… But I have another year to decide.”

Serena nodded and looked down at her cream and light blue, beautiful dress. “Oh. I see.”

He pursed his lips. He knew why she was bothered. He had once made a promise to her; a promise of going to London and attend the university so they could see each other every day. Now, that promise seemed to be faltering. He just couldn't bring himself to tell her that he had to stay in Canterbury and take over his father's business. It was too embarrassing. The education of the fine gentlemen of London that Serena socialised with was one that Daniel would never be able to have. He closed his eyes, his eyebrows knitted tight together.

“So…” Daniel looked up at the sound of Serena's voice. She hesitated a bit before continuing, “Why are you even home this early? You don't usually return until right before your birthday.”

He had hoped that he could avoid having to explain everything to her. He moved his gaze to his feet, trying to find a delicate way to let her know. “No… Um… I was sent home.”

Serena looked at him with a frown. “What? Why?”

Daniel tried not to sigh too heavily. Did he really have to go through this? This was somehow even worse than when he had to face his father upon returning home after the incident; perhaps because Serena's reaction meant more to him than his father's. “There was a fire.”

Serena's eyes widened in a shocked expression as she halted slightly. She brought her small hands up to her mouth, “Oh my God!”

“In the stables,” he hurriedly added to calm her down, “But everyone is all right, the horses included!”

“Oh, that's a relief!” Serena said, lowering her hands again to rest them against her chest. “But then, why were you sent home?”

Daniel tried not to grimace as he closed his eyes. He pushed the rather disturbing memories away and settled on his embarrassment instead. “I, uh... I started the fire.”

Serena stopped. It took him a few more steps to realise that she wasn't by his side any more; he halted as well and turned around to look at her. “What?” was all she said.

He realised how it may have sounded and quickly explained, “It was an accident.” He put his hands in his pockets and looked away, offering a casual shrug. “We just wanted to pull a harmless prank, and it went awry… So my friend and I were suspended.”

Serena looked incredulous. “You were _suspended?_ What did your father say?”

Daniel scoffed in return. “What do you think? My father rarely uses his words as opposed to so much else.”

“Were you hurt?” she said.

He still didn't bother to look at her, merely shrugging again. “I can handle it.”

“I meant in the fire.”

Daniel licked his teeth, then finally moved his gaze to her. Her expression was hard to read, and it was completely alien to him; usually he could always guess her feelings by a glance, simply due to her emotional nature. He hesitated shortly, then said, “… I've recovered.”

Finally a bit of familiar emotion returned to her beautiful face. She frowned, “Are you sure? That must have been…”

“I'm fine, Serena,” he said, his voice a bit more firm this time, “Don't worry.”

She looked at him with her almond eyes, her mouth hanging slightly open with the lingering ghost of the sentence she didn't get to finish. She closed her mouth, pressing her lips together as her frown deepened. Then she looked away and nodded, “… All right.”

Daniel watched her with an attentive eye for a little while, until she began walking again and came up to his side. He shrugged it off and started moving himself, leading her further into the forest.

They continued for a while in silence. The birds chirped happily in the treetops. He glanced at Serena. She looked exceptionally pretty today; her long hair cascaded down her shoulders and back in soft waves, the thick bangs swept aside to allow for her beautiful, brown eyes to see the world. Her face looked even more mature and elegant than it had the previous year, a faint blush on the high, defined cheekbones, and small, plump lips quivering slightly in anticipation. The dress hugged her waist and chest, and it only served to compliment her growing female curves. She wasn't a small girl any more.

And just like that, the butterflies came alive again. He moistened his lips, suddenly feeling very nervous – and slightly nauseous, but he wasn't going to let that ruin this evening.

“Tell me, Daniel, will we be there soon? It feels like we have been wandering through the forest for an eternity!”

Serena's voice suddenly grabbed his attention. He looked at her with slight surprise, and she only smiled gently back at him. For some reason it made him more nervous – but in a good way. He swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded. “Yes. As a matter of fact, you will have to close your eyes now.”

She blinked. “Oh!” she said, “Well, all right. But you will have to lead me by hand, then!” She smiled even wider and offered her small, elegant hand to him.

He gave her a wry smile. “Of course,” he said and brought his hands up to cover her eyes, “Now, don't look.” As he removed his hands, she had closed her eyes. He took a deep breath, then grabbed her hand and carefully lead her further through the forest, behind some trees and bushes. Serena bit her lip while she kept her eyes closed. He saw how her chest rose and fell as she breathed heavily. She was excited.

Just behind the trees was the clearing, and the small house came to sight. It still looked beautiful. Daniel lead Serena in front of it. He quickly bent down and opened the door to see if anything was amiss inside – in case Henry had been there to ruin things for him – but no, everything was exactly as he had left it.

Silently he closed the door again, then placed himself behind Serena and covered her eyes once more, even though they were still closed. She giggled, “Daniel, when can I look?”

Daniel removed his hands. “Now.”

Serena's lashes fluttered open. She fell silent.

He bit his lip, trying to read into her facial expression, but he just couldn't tell what she was thinking. She brought a hand up to her mouth. “Oh my God…” she whispered.

“Do you like it?” Daniel said, scratching the back of his head, “I… I remembered that you said it would be nice if we had our own clubhouse, like the one I built for … eh, that friend. A place where we could be left alone… ”

Suddenly she threw her arms around his neck. He was a bit overwhelmed, but nonetheless quick to embrace her tightly despite the pain in his ribs. “Oh, Daniel!” she gushed, “Did you really do all this for me?”

He chuckled, “Well, I did get some help…” He pulled away from her, and looked into her eyes, “I did it for _us.”_

Serena was on the verge to tears yet again – but this time, it was of mere happiness. She swallowed her sobs. “This is amazing… This is so perfect… Thank you, Daniel, this is the best surprise I could ever get…”

“Come, look inside,” he smiled and crouched down beside the door, pushing it open.

She knelt down beside him, glancing inside. She gaped once again, her wide eyes scanning the interior. “Oh my...”

The inside was large enough to fit them both, and the floor was covered with soft pillows and blankets. All around the small cabin, candles were placed, waiting to be lit to create a relaxing atmosphere. In a small spot in the mid of the house, where no blankets nor pillows were occupying the space, were a bottle of fine wine and two glasses. It was all so incredibly cosy and romantic.

Serena looked at Daniel, and he merely smiled back at her, “You can go inside.”

She hesitated shortly, but then crawled into the house, making herself comfortable on the soft covers. Daniel followed her, closing the door behind them to grant them a little bit of privacy. Although hesitating quite a bit at first, he eventually lit the candles with the tinderbox, then grabbed the corkscrew and bottle, “Wine?”

Serena nodded coyly. “Um... I'm not so used to drinking yet... But yes, please.”

Daniel averted his gaze to what he was doing, unable to stop smiling. “It is very relaxing. It will get us in the right mood.”

Serena raised an eyebrow, her cheeks a bright pink colour. “The right mood for what, exactly?” she said.

He looked at her, not completely sure how to answer her question. Then he said, “Just... You know, it will get us to loosen up a bit.”

She watched him as he poured the glasses. When he offered her her glass, she accepted it and said in a soft voice, “But are you nervous?”

Daniel pursed his lips, looking down at the dark red liquid. He took a sip of it, feeling the bitter-sweet taste spread on his tongue and make its way down his throat. He swallowed it down, trying to gather the courage. It was time he manned up and told her. He just had to figure out how.

But when he looked at her again – her round, slanted eyes resting on him, plump, pink lips falling half-open in a questioning expression, perfectly sculpted soft cheekbones and a small, slightly curved nose – he suddenly didn't know what to say. She was so beautiful, and he was just a mere boy grasping for her affection. With that sudden fact so deeply imprinted in his mind, he couldn't manage anything other than a sheepish chuckle and awkward shrug.

Fortunately she seemed to take it lightly. She offered a soft giggle in response, albeit a bit hesitant. Then she went on to look around the tiny cabin, studying the woodwork and craftsmanship behind it. She couldn't help but be amazed by the result; more than anything, the effort put into building it was obvious. “Daniel, why did you do ... all this?”

He looked away from her again, his mind working on full throttle and causing the headache to return. He really needed to just tell her already, and preferably before he became really sick, for that was what he had set out to do; but apparently that was much harder done in practise than theory. Even in spite of the struggle to find the perfect words, he ended up not saying anything at all and instead merely scraped the wooden floor with the toe of his boots.

The thick silence was becoming too much, even for Serena. She tilted her head, furrowing her thin, well-shaped eyebrows, “Please… Say something, Daniel.”

She was right. It was about time he spoke up. “You see… I'm just…” Daniel looked at her again, unable to stop the words from escaping his lips before considering what he actually wanted them to convey – much to his regret, since they turned out to be pointless and didn't get him anywhere at all. “Um…”

“What is it?” Her look of worry had changed into one of scepticism. He couldn't blame her for thinking that he was acting strange.

“I find you very pleasant, Serena.” No sooner were the words out than he regretted them. It seemed he had barely, if any, self-control right at this moment. He closed his eyes, mentally berating himself for his careless outburst. Oh well, he just had to work with it as best as he could.

Serena blinked. “What?”

“Um, to look at.” Now Daniel just wanted to slap himself. It was getting worse and worse.

She didn't respond right away. Long lashes fluttered down as her gaze slowly lowered while she ingested what he just now had told her. He didn't know if that was a good sign or the opposite. “You find me pleasant?” she spoke in a soft tone.

Daniel lingered shortly, before taking action, “ _Also_ to look at.” By now he was certain he might have had the handsome looks, but he sure had no charm to compliment it.

It didn't seem like that further point affected Serena at all. She merely let out an almost imperceptible sigh and nodded without looking at him. “Thank you, Daniel.”

He wasn't sure what to think. On one hand, she didn't seem very excited about his attempt to woo her; on the other, she didn't seem to take it as negatively as he had feared she would. This was probably good. Maybe things were going the right direction, and now he could recover from his blunder. The thought of this gave him the courage to smile at her, “You're welcome.”

Once again the silence dominated. The birds crooned in the treetops, singing a happy love song about summer and flowers and bees, but inside the small clubhouse those concepts felt oddly far away, and Daniel couldn't for the life of him figure out why. The mood seemed to deteriorate by the minute; he needed to stop it. He tried to weigh his options, but he was as devoid of ideas as he was of words.

Daniel opened his mouth to speak, but before any words could cross his lips, Serena broke the silence instead, “Last summer...”

Seeing a possible chance of escaping the strained atmosphere, Daniel eagerly beckoned for her to continue, “Yes?”

She hesitated, her gaze fixed on her small delicate hands. They were like pale golden marble, completely free of any bruises, scars and imperfections at all; just as would be expected of a young girl of the upper class. Her chest rose and fell ever so slightly, the lines of her clavicle clearly defined beneath the choker, she had come to wear so much, every time she took a breath. “I… I thought you, um… I thought you regretted ... it…”

“I didn't!” Daniel quickly said, shaking his head vigorously so that the message was crystal clear. “Well, unless…” He immediately stopped himself, overruling his lingering doubt, “I mean, no, I didn't.”

“Then why didn't you answer my letters? Any of them?” She tilted her head with a slight furrow between her eyebrows.

Daniel's jaw tightened, his lips forming a stiff, straight line. He looked away, resting his elbow on his raised knee, “I have my reasons, Serena...”

Serena scoffed. “Of course you do. Why won't you tell me? Aren't we friends?”

“Of course- !”

“Or am I just a pretty thing for you to look at?”

Daniel blinked. “What?”

She turned towards him, her tawny golden eyes burning right into his emerald green, cheeks flushed, those flawless hands fisted tight. “Is that all I am to you? Wouldn't it all just be easier if I had no personality at all, so I could just stand and smile while you kiss me all that you want?” Her eyes squinted, “That's what all the others seem to think!”

Even despite all the thoroughly harsh words that might have been worth considering, Daniel seemed to forget all about her actual point as only the last line stayed with him. “Others?” he said, his voice meek, “Are there others?”

Serena's eyes widened in disbelief. “Is that really all you can think about? I wrote several letters to you! I needed your support, and all you can say in regards to that is _'I have my reasons'?”_

“Serena-”

“My brother _died_ , Daniel!” Serena continued without paying any mind to what Daniel could possibly have to say in his defence; honestly she really didn't care. “What if Hazel died? How would you like me ignoring your letters then, for _reasons!”_

There was no response. Daniel had opened his mouth to try and interrupt Serena's flow of speech, but now he pressed his lips hard together and stared at her blankly.

Serena immediately understood the effect and insensitivity of her words. Her flushed cheeks paled, her eyes softening a bit as she looked at him with an apologetic expression. “I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. I'm just... I don't understand why you're treating me this way...” She looked down at her folded legs, her hands covering part of her face, “You're being so unfair, Daniel! You're not even wearing the locket I gave you, are you?”

Daniel tilted his head with a pained expression. “Serena, listen-”

“ _No!”_ she yelled and turned towards him again with glinting, wet eyes. “It's time that you listen, for in spite of the past few years of me speaking a whole lot and you not at all, you don't seem to have heard anything!”

He immediately shut his mouth, simply staring at her.

“My family is _broken_ , Daniel! The people we socialise with, the people my parents call our 'friends', they talk horribly behind our backs – they say such cruel, condescending things about my mother, and I'm supposed to not care and act like it's all fine even though it's clear to me that Mama isn't! They're merciless, Daniel! My parents are struggling to keep up our good name, but my father blames Mum every time we're dragged down again! He is devastated; Aaron was the sole heir to his business, and now he is gone and the fights are endless! I don't know what will happen now, and no one talks to me about it, no one tells me anything at all.” She choked down a stifled sob. Her gaze lowered, dark lashes coated in dew pearls fluttering down as she clutched her hands against her chest. “It's… It's been almost two years since I last saw him, and I didn't even get to say goodbye. I just miss him so much my heart can't bear it, but no one lets me cry, Daniel!”

Other than a small twitch in his lower lip, Daniel didn't move. His Adam's apple slowly went up and then down again as he swallowed.

It appeared there wasn't anything left to say. While they sat in all other than peaceful quiet, the clouds had covered the sky outside and cast a dim, grey light into the small wooden house. They sat like that while the rain began to pour and thunder against the roof, he staring at her, she refusing to look at him; even if she did, she probably wouldn't be able to see him, for the tears would blur out his face.

She inhaled deeply in a forced attempt to gather herself and looked up at him again, this time with a determined mien. “London isn't as great as you think,” she said as a last acidic remark.

She stood up to leave, but didn't get very far before a strong hand grabbed around her wrist. “No!” She struggled to wriggle free of his grip, but it proved useless as he was much stronger than her from years of physical labour. He pulled her closer, enclosing her small form in his arms to pacify her like one would an upset pet, while she lashed out and hit him in the chest to make him let go. Her wine glass was just within reach, and in the heat of her anger she grabbed it in a last, desperate attempt to get her way. But as soon as the liquid splashed on his face and stained his tailored white shirt with red, she regretted her actions and stopped fighting him. “Oh no, I'm- ! Daniel, I'm so sorry! Oh God, your shirt!”

But the young man didn't seem to pay it any thought as he shook his head and took advantage of the opportunity to pull her closer. “It doesn't matter.” He gently stroked the top of her head over her silky black hair as he shushed her and attempted to calm her down.

Finally it seemed to take effect; she relaxed little by little and let her tears flow freely. Only half-strangled, muffled sobs escaped her now as she buried her face in his chest. “He's gone… Just like that… So suddenly…”

Daniel merely hummed. “I know.”

They didn't say any more. He didn't try to offer her words of comfort or stop her crying – on the contrary, he let her cry all she wanted. She needed to mourn the loss of her brother, and if no one else was going to let her, Daniel certainly would. There was no use trying to make someone feel better who hadn't had time to be sad yet; he knew this from experience.

Minutes ticked by, and eventually her weeping was reduced to feeble, half-hearted snivels. Her breathing was very slow, her hands grasped tightly onto his shirt. Her eyes, swollen and red, fell upon it. Without moving an inch, she spoke with a small, husky voice, “I've ruined your shirt...”

Daniel cast a glance down himself. He momentarily let go of her, only to unbutton both his fancy, green waistcoat and the poor, damaged shirt and pull it off himself so that he was left bare-chested. He curled the pieces of fabric to a ball and threw it into a corner. “Now that's not our problem any more.”

Serena's face flushed at the sight of his naked torso, but when he turned around to assemble a few pillows to create a soft nest, her face paled again and she let out a gasp at the sight of several deep, red, very fresh scars as well as a large, purple bruise on his left side. “Daniel! Your back!”

“Come, lie down.”

He had successfully managed to create a small bedding area and grabbed her again to lay her down on the pillows, placing himself beside her and pulling her into his embrace again. She sighed in exhaustion, gladly welcoming the warmth of his hard chest. “Did he hurt you again?” She closed her eyes, her brows furrowing into a pained, guilt-ridden expression. “Was it my fault …?”

Daniel merely shushed her, planting a gentle kiss on her head in between the strands of her thick, dark hair. “Just relax. You're with a friend now.”

She paused shortly, just wishing away the whole unfair world that hurt everyone she cared about. But she knew that he was right in that she was too tired to blame herself right now, so she turned towards him and pressed herself tighter into his body, deciding to let it go for now. “I know.”

They fell silent, listening to the constant humdrum of the falling rain banging against the small house. The humid air escaped into the house through the windows, but it was all right; they had all the warmth they needed from the proximity of the other. They were finally at peace.

“I remember times we spent,” Serena mumbled quietly, staring up into the ceiling, “I rarely even met him throughout my entire life, but I've been with Father to Iceland a few times before, and Aaron also sometimes came to visit us here in England. The time we had together was precious. When he was done talking business with my father and their other friends, Aaron would take me out hunting. It was nothing challenging, of course, but it was an experience I thoroughly enjoyed.”

Her fingers grazed lightly above Daniel's clavicle. “He taught me how to handle his rifle, though he made me promise never to tell Dad. We had many secrets like that, him and I. He didn't care what men or women were respectively resigned to do; he was a truly modern man.” She paused for a bit. “Much like you, actually... You never cared about the fact that I was a girl, either. You taught me about everything that you were taught yourself, you let me read your books.” She seemed to sink further into his embrace, “I suppose you two remind me of each other a bit...”

“You never told me,” Daniel said, tousling her hair.

“There are many things I don't tell,” was all she said in response.

Daniel let out a half-hearted, low chuckle. “Well, that makes me very depressed.”

Serena stayed quiet for a short while, her gaze locked on the sky on the other side of the rooftop which separated them. “There are many things you don't tell as well.”

It would eventually come to this. Even though he hadn't anticipated it, he was no less surprised; after all they had been through, all he had sacrificed for her without her even knowing, he figured it was about time he told her – and he actually wanted to. He took a deep breath followed by a heavy sigh and ceased his fondling. Serena seemed a bit taken aback by this sudden change of mood and finally moved her gaze from the ceiling to look at him.

Daniel remained silent a little bit longer, but then he resumed his caressing of her and said, “It happened before Hazel was born. A winter evening many years ago, my father sent me out into the cold to fetch his toolbox in his old studio. I clearly recall the thick snow that was so difficult to wade through, and the biting cold… A storm was overhead.”

 

> _The small boy walked as fast as his small feet could carry him, his lantern held high above his head. Even though it wasn't even dinnertime yet, the sky was completely black already. The couch in the living room had broken its leg, and John wanted to fix it immediately, so his four year old son had been sent to gather the tools from the studio._
> 
> _Even with his mother's thick wool shawl wrapped around him, he was freezing. The wind was violent today, howling loudly. The distance to the studio was a far walk for a little boy. Finally, he could see the dreary building. He fumbled with the bunch of keys, he had been strictly told not to lose on his way, looking for the one his father had showed him._
> 
> _The studio was completely dark. He was quick to light the candles around the room with his tinderbox. It was stuffed, to say the least. All of his father's sculptures, furniture, jars and vases stood crammed together in a mess all over the place, making it impossible to see if it was a studio or a bazaar._
> 
> _He put one of his father's works in progress in front of the main door, so that it would remain open and let a little bit of light inside. He went over to the door to the basement, opened it and peaked down the stairs. It was pitch dark; not even the light from the candles could penetrate it._

“I already wasn't particularly fond of the dark, but I assume that no child is at that age. I knew that I had to hurry, or else my father would get angry... I was very scared of my father back then.”

 

> _The stairs creaked with every step that he took as he carefully made his way down the staircase. He held the lantern outstretched in front of him; he didn't want anything to suddenly jump out of the darkness and surprise him._
> 
> _As he reached the end of the stairs and started looking around for the toolbox, he suddenly heard a loud bang. A strong gust of wind had caused the door to the basement to bang shut behind him. The light of the lantern suddenly seemed very weak, unable to compete with the dense darkness._

“I panicked. I feared that no one would discover that I was gone, and that I would die down there. It was … a very hard thing to face as a small child. The fear of dying.”

 

> _He hammered his fist against the door. “PLEASE, HELP ME! LET ME OUT! I AM TRAPPED!”_
> 
> _Of course, no one heard him. Everyone was sitting comfortably at home, shielded from the stormy night. The tears streamed down his chubby cheeks, his breathing picked up. In his panic he dropped the lantern onto the stairs. It shattered, and his last source of light was gone._
> 
> _The little boy stiffened. He quickly turned around, staring down into the twilight. The anxiety sneaked up on him as a million thoughts developed in his mind. What if his parents forgot about him? What if they thought he had gotten lost, and didn't realise that he was locked in the basement till it was too late? What if he ended up dying of starvation, all alone, down here in the darkness?_
> 
> _It was too much stress for a small child. He hiccuped in his sobbing. He didn't want to die. He wanted his mum. He continued hitting his fists against the door, even kicking it in hopes that it would break down, or that at least someone would hear him._
> 
> _He was tired and hungry. The small amount of energy, he had left after a hard day of work, was quickly used up. The dehydration and irregular breathing soon made him dizzy. He sat down on the stairs with a severe headache, feeling exhausted. He cried his heart out, fearing that his nightmare was about to become a reality._
> 
> _As he started to accept that no one would hear him, his crying died down a bit. He tugged his knees up against his chest and rested his head on them, sniffling silently._
> 
> _It felt as if he sat there for an eternity. Even though nothing happened, he felt uneasy. He felt like he wasn't alone; as if the darkness itself was watching him._
> 
> _The boy picked himself up, his small, fragile heart still beating furiously, and began to move down the stairs. His steps resounded throughout the whole basement, echoing back against the hollow walls. The wind was howling loudly outside._
> 
> _He missed a step in the darkness. He let out a yelp in shock as he fell down the stairs, landing hard on his back. He could already feel the bruises forming. It hurt so bad; he wanted to cry loudly and call for Mum, but he knew it wouldn't make a difference._

“I didn't get hurt too bad, but I was very shocked. It was an incredibly stupid idea...”

 

> _He was trapped in the midst of it. He couldn't see anything. He felt around the floor, looking for some sort of guidance – a wall, the stairs, or even a table or a chair – but there was nothing. It was as if the whole room had disappeared, and only the concrete floor and darkness were left._
> 
> _The tears welled up again. He cried something incomprehensible in frustration and hammered his tiny fist against the floor, only to regret it right after when the pain shot up through his arm. He sat up straight, afraid to move around in fear of becoming even more lost. He couldn't even find the stairs._
> 
> _The darkness was incredibly dense. It seemed menacing. Threatening. It wanted to devour him._
> 
> _With every passing moment, everything got blacker. The silence was suffocating. He heard nothing but his own frantic breathing and the wind. He began to wonder if this was a nightmare. Or if the world outside had been a dream. Had he always been trapped in here, and merely fantasised about a life full of light and colour? Was the real world shrouded in darkness?_
> 
> _Black claws reached for him. They inched closer. He dodged them, terrified of getting caught by the dark, and started blindly running around the basement in panic, unable to calm down._
> 
> _The shadows were everywhere. Monstrous faces showed themselves in the dark. They laughed at him, and their laughter sounded like ghostly howls. They chased him around, amused by their little devil game, and he kept running, running for his dear life. Tears streamed down his face, but he merely focused on escaping. He wanted to escape the darkness._
> 
> _Suddenly he saw two luminous eyes in front of him. They stared at him with a furious hunger. The monster's large claw reached for him. There was **no escape**. He screamed._
> 
> “ _ **Daniel?!** ”_

“My father showed up at the last moment.”

 

> _A light. Daniel looked up with wide, anxious eyes from his seat on the floor in the middle of the basement. Up by the top of the staircase stood John. He was saved._

Daniel bit his lip. His eyes didn't focus, he merely stared out into the blue air. Small pearls of cold sweat had started to form on his forehead. It wasn't easy to talk about that incident; he had never actually talked about it to anyone. Hazel knew about it due to the comments their father had made about his irrational fear of the dark, but he had never ever shared his version of the story with anyone. “Of course, he was very angry that I had taken so long,” he continued, “and that I had been foolish enough to lock myself up in the basement. He punished me severely. Now I see those shadows everywhere… If I stay in a dark room for too long, a place where I am concealed from the outside world, they will start chasing me again.”

“ _This fire is rapid!”_

A light flashed before his eyes, a light much too bright. His eyes watered, but he closed them quickly. The headache was back, thundering inside his head as if someone was hitting it with a hammer. It made him dizzy; his hands started trembling ever so slightly, and he fisted them to make it stop.

Serena noticed a change in her friend's breathing. She brushed her fingers through his chocolate locks affectionately in an attempt to offer him some comfort. She was shaken by the story. It sounded utterly traumatising; it was no wonder he didn't like the darkness. An incident like that did not seem like something, a child could just grow out of.

Daniel swallowed a lump in his throat. Images haunted him, images of burning white and menacing black, and he suddenly felt like he couldn't breathe once again. He kept his eyes shut tightly, a deep frown furrowing his eyebrows together.

_Wild flames licked the walls and floor. The shadows became even darker and bigger, dancing their devil dance and reaching out for him to join them. He couldn't escape._

_**NO ESCAPE.** _

He opened his eyes wide, jolting at a sudden touch. He looked down to his side; Serena had put a hand on his chest, her large brown eyes filled with worry. “Daniel?” she said quietly.

He tried to still his breathing, moving his gaze from hers and further down her small figure. He placed his own hand above hers, finding comfort in the heat of her body next to his. “I've never actually been afraid of the dark in particular,” he mumbled at last, “I'm just … afraid of never being able to escape it.”

Serena kept her eyes on him. He didn't notice; he seemed completely lost within himself. It was painful to see him like this. She wanted to make him feel better and forget, so she placed a hand on the side of his face. He let out a heavy breath, then looked at her with his bright green eyes.

She wasn't prepared. She lowered her gaze and blinked, shock striking her as she saw the scars hidden inside him, the demons that he battled. But she had something to tell him, so she gathered the courage and locked eyes with him again, determination keeping her strong. “Daniel, no matter where you are or how dark it is, I want you to remember the light you always carry with you that doesn't need neither fire nor oil to work.”

He merely frowned. “What kind of light is that?”

Serena bit her lip, then gave him a brave smile. “The light you carry in your heart, Daniel,” she said, “Your heart is filled with kindness and love and empathy for others. Your sister and your mother live there, and they will light up the path for you whenever you feel lost and alone…” She lingered a bit, but then finally added in a silent whisper, “… and unable to escape.”

The words touched him in a way he had never experienced before. Suddenly she had gotten so far beneath his skin he almost couldn't bear it, and he knew it was time to tell her. He wanted to, he really did – to tell her how she lived deep within his heart as well and had always done so, how he felt love for her like he had never felt before – but as he parted his lips to let his true feelings be known, the only words that came out were, “Can I kiss you?”

She seemed a bit taken aback. Her red eyes flickered from his gaze, delicate thin eyebrows twitching into a slight frown by the sound of those exact same words she had heard one year earlier. Her hesitation was short-lived though; she soon looked him in the eyes again with her own brown orbs and, much unlike the reaction from that aforementioned year, said, “Yes.”

There was no need for her to say it again. He leaned down, hovering over her lips shortly. The excitement was unbearable. The butterflies fluttered aggressively. He gently pressed his lips against hers.

Daniel could feel her sighing into him. He grabbed tighter around her waist, pressing his body against hers. She trembled a bit, but he figured it was in pleasure. He himself definitely didn't feel anything but ecstasy at this moment. He had longed for this for a year.

He leaned further into the kiss, nipping at her full, lush lips. Her breathing became irregular, and he noticed his speeded up as well. His heart was beating like mad; something was bubbling inside of him. He placed a hand underneath her jaw and felt how her pulse was racing.

Serena grabbed onto his neck with her delicate hands, her fingers tangling with his long hair and cupping the back of his head. He took it as her way of telling him to take a step further. He found his way past her lips, inviting her to a dance. She tensed up a bit, but he knew that it was only due to the mere excitement. She accepted his offer, letting him in.

She was so gentle and careful, with a taste so sweet and slightly salty due to the prior rather upsetting event, but he didn't mind, for she was warm and moist all the same; very inviting, very welcoming, and he deepened the kiss. He wanted to taste every little part of her, every inch, every small corner. It was as if she was made for him. It was the perfect fit.

She caressed his defined jaw, his neck, his collarbone. It was unreal how just the slightest, most gentle touch she offered made him spiral into a rapture. The hair on his arms stood up, his nerves exploding in small fireworks. A warm burning sensation spread in his abdomen. His hands moved further down her hips, eager to explore. Unfortunately, there was a long skirt in the way.

He tugged a bit at the fancy light-coloured dress. She didn't react. He continued pulling at the fabric discreetly, finally getting a hold of the hem of the skirt. He did not hesitate to pull it up and reach a hand underneath – but suddenly a small hand grabbed around his wrist.

Serena broke the kiss and looked at him. He saw the doubt in her eyes. “Daniel… What are you doing?”

“Do you trust me, Serena?” he merely asked. He looked deep into her eyes, letting her see him for all that he was, nothing concealed, nothing held back.

She hesitated. Her lashes fluttered down as she lost herself in her contemplation. Different voices shouted at her within, conflicting against each other, telling her what she was obligated to, but then what she really wanted, and yet again what she was afraid of. In that instant it was her biggest fears that took over, and she made a decision. She looked at him again with her wide, doe-like eyes and nodded. “I do.”

Her fingers loosened the grip around his wrist. She surrendered herself to him and let him do whatever he wanted.

* * *

All had been in vain. All his efforts. It had all been for nothing.

Henry trembled. He had gotten her the medicine, just like she had asked him to. She said that the opium would help her. She said that she needed it to survive. How come she was dead, then?

She lay lifeless on the broken couch, looking as grey and sick as when she was alive. Right until the end, she had told him that he didn't love her, and he had struggled to prove that he did. But he wasn't strong enough to save her. He wasn't ever able to make her believe him.

His nose was red. His eyes bloodshot. His lashes dry, his cheeks moist with salt tears. He trembled violently. He felt like he was about to explode. It was horrible. He hated this feeling. It physically hurt within him. He didn't know how to make it go away. He just wanted to feel better.

Then his face appeared in his mind, that handsome face with those nice green eyes and that straight brown hair. Yes, it was Daniel, that stupid, good-for-nothing, _perfect_ Daniel, who always got everything he wanted. Money. Better education. Delicious food. And a beautiful girl. And he wasn't even generous enough to share any of his treasures. He was such a selfish bastard.

Henry wanted to make him pay for this. It was all his fault. If Daniel would have been a bit more helpful, Henry's mother might have lived. He could've provided her with a doctor, like he did for his scrawny sister. But he only ever cared about himself. Only his own family was important to him, or those stupid friends he had acquired from that high-class school he went to. That _jerk._

It was time to end it. If Henry couldn't be happy, Daniel certainly didn't deserve to be either. There was no reason to keep the secret any more.

The sun was lowering. The white mansion looked quite exquisite, orange light of the sun reflecting and bouncing off those smooth, clean stonewalls that made up the building. But Henry took note of the accumulating grey clouds in the distance, and he knew that it was going to rain soon here as well.

He would probably never have been allowed onto the lot under normal circumstances, but he had information for the family, and he was sure that they would appreciate that very much.

The hatred boiled inside him. It was time to come clean.

He knocked on the door. It opened. After a bit of arguing, he was let in. The family was gathered in the fireplace room.

“I know where your daughter is,” Henry said.

 


	27. The Discovery of Bliss

 

**1826**

_The sun was warm and bright today, tanning her golden complexion while doing the complete opposite to her nearly black hair. The calm flow of the river provided a tranquil atmosphere, making for a perfect harmonic scene in the midst of the vast, green meadow. She saw him, and he was coming her way._

_Serena's heart beat faster. She hadn't seen a child around this area at all since she arrived out on the country with her family. Mama had told her to go out and play, but how was she to do that alone? She had so longed to meet another child her age._

_She wanted to call out to him, but she stood frozen in place on the other side of the river while he came closer and closer. He looked older than her; he was so tall and very lean, his less complimentary garments much too loose on his frame. His hair was straight, brown and about shoulder-length; she thought it to be quite pretty. He didn't seem to notice her at all._

_Her mouth opened slightly to greet him, but no words crossed those small rosy lips. She really wanted to say something, but she couldn't speak. She didn't understand why, and now he was skipping past her, empty buckets in each hand._

“ _Excuse me, miss, but can I help you?”_

_She blinked, straightening up a bit. He had stopped and stood now looking at her with a glint of confusion lingering in his green eyes, head tilted slightly. She couldn't help but notice just how bright they were; he had very pretty eyes indeed._

* * *

He clearly recalled when he first saw her; a doe walking around aimlessly in the clearing, searching for a friend. She had white doves in her eyes, and they were still there to this day for she was untouched; but summer had come, the stallion had awakened, and now the fruits were ready for the reaping.

* * *

“ _I might just be paying for my father's alcohol!”_

_Serena blinked in shock, “What?” He used such harsh words all of a sudden. Had she insulted him? She didn't understand what he said or why he sounded so angry, but it made her feel bad. She didn't mean to upset him._

_He merely shook his head in a resigned fashion. He probably thought that she was really stupid now. He just stayed silent without looking at her. She wanted to apologise, but she was scared to say anything. But then he said, “All right, then. How much money and when?”_

_She looked up at him with surprise. Did he really mean it? Oh, what joy! She glanced at the sun to determine the hour. “When are you finished working?”_

“ _At six o'clock in the evening.”_

_She looked at him again, her cheeks burning with excitement. “Meet me by the bridge at six. I'll give you a shilling,” she said._

_Finally his facial expression changed; it was as if she had lit a light, for suddenly his face brightened. “Deal!” he said with a much greater enthusiasm than he had shown previously. “I need to hurry along, miss! I'll see you later!”_

_The boy turned on his heel and rushed down the riverbank. She could only stand back and look after him. He looked even nicer when he smiled. He was so grown-up and tall, and his hair and eyes were so pretty; she really liked him a lot. She managed to raise her small hand and wave after him as he disappeared further down the river. She really wanted him to like her, too._

* * *

He clearly recalled the summer heat; when Mr. Philips first got started on his breeding program, his mother took him down to the pen to watch. She placed him up on the fence and wrapped her slender arms around him for support so that his small form wouldn't fall down. The large stallion swung his head from side to side, broad neck stretched and the upper lip curled back, frisky and basking in the sun. He was tall with legs like pillars and a chest like polished marble, the long, thick mane dark and ruffled. His aggressive behaviour was intimidating, but he loved his mare very much and treated her with all the gentle respectability she deserved.

He used to imagine the mammals conversing with each other, probably at fault of Evelyn murmuring into his ear; “' _Wheee_ , I'm eating, Charles',” and the mare took a few steps forward, only to continue munching on the fresh, green grass. “'But you're so lovely, Miss Buttercup, I simply cannot resist!'” said the stallion with a high pitched neigh, approaching the female once again and attempting to climb onto her backside. His mother told him that the females always acted coy and uninterested, but a real man would be able to tell. It was all part of the chase.

The stallion was mature and experienced, and he mounted his mare with impressive dominance. A low growl escaped from deep down his stomach, the breathing became heavy. Their dark silhouettes entangled, the large figure hovering on top of the much frailer one, and the young boy wondered if she was going to crush underneath the weight, but the female was strong and could carry her man. He watched, curiosity kept him from looking away; green eyes wide and round with childish innocence, he saw that night, their shadows bathed in moonlight midst in the act, how his sister was conceived.

* * *

**1827**

_It was a beautiful day; the tall oak trees basked in delight in the sun, birds crooned and the atmosphere out on the country was all together lovely. It seemed that it never rained in Canterbury, but in London it always did._

_Despite the nice weather, she was still sitting inside in the music room, fixed to the piano forte with which she had been told to practise. The instrument let out an unsteady symphony of tones for every tangent she carefully pressed. Her mother sat on the divan in the centre of the room, working away on her needlepoint. Father had not come with them to Canterbury this summer; he had told her that he had business to attend to back in London, but that he was looking most forward to seeing his favourite girls again when they returned in the autumn, and then joining them next summer._

_Mum missed him a lot. She could tell for she sighed all the time, and when she thought her daughter wasn't looking, she allowed herself to be sad. If only she had known the true reason for her father's absence, or why she and her mother were sent away in the first place._

_But she was only a child, and her mind as simple. She longed for the feel of the warm sun on her much too pale skin, and she had grown tired of practising the same old song for hours; she believed she was only becoming worse at it, anyway. She stopped playing and turned around to glance at her mother._

_The Hispanic woman had oddly enough stopped her own needlework. Her hands rested in her lap, her dark eyes staring out into space, the corners of her full lips tightened. She appeared to be in deep thought._ She is missing Dad _, the little girl thought._

_For a while the two of them sat like that; the mother staring at nothing in particular, and her daughter looking at her. Then the woman blinked and looked down at her unfinished handkerchief, and then she noticed the music had stopped. She turned her gaze to the piano forte and noticed the small girl's doe eyes on her. Her expression changed from that of disorientation to disapproval, “ **Serena!** Continue your exercising this instant!”_

_The young girl immediately got a dejected look on her face. “But I'm so bored, Mama,” she complained, “Can I please go outside and play?”_

_The mistress of the house, who in the meantime had temporarily continued her embroidering, stopped yet again with a look of exasperation. She turned her gaze to the few maids that had been tasked with keeping an eye on her young daughter while she rehearsed her musical skills, and although they tried to look as submissive as possible, their eyes all told the same story; pity for the poor child who had been locked inside all day while the weather was still bright. The woman let out a deep sigh and waved her hand, “All right, then. You can go.”_

_The small girl immediately jumped from her seat and went for the glass door leading out to the garden. Magdalena da Silva turned her gaze out the window and looked after her little girl as she stormed off. Hilmar didn't have to know._

* * *

But after summer came winter, and he was left with nothing but a sickly filly.

He vaguely recalled sleepless nights; the sire was overwhelmed with grief and isolated himself, let himself sink in his mourning, drowned his sorrow in painkillers. Then, for a short while, he sought out company to numb his pain, to forget about his loneliness. He wasn't gentle any more, for the fruit had been plucked many times before for no honourable purposes, and the orchards had begun to fade and rot.

His young son stood hidden in the shadows behind a door left slightly ajar, one curious eye glinting in the scarce light. He knew that he shouldn't watch, but he simply couldn't look away. This behaviour only lasted a couple of years, then the stallion realised that the rotten fruit no longer was enough.

* * *

_On such a warm summer day like the one today, it seemed the perfect time to stroll around the fields and woods, take in the fresh air, listening to the crooning of the birds and picking a few flowers; perhaps she could give it to her governess when she was finished, then she might get a biscuit as reward._

_Serena continued merrily on her way around the countryside, enjoying the warmth of the sun on her skin. She loved it when her parents let her wander around as she wanted so she could go out to explore this still very new and unfamiliar place; it could get so awfully boring just staying inside all day. On such a warm summer day like this, what could possibly disturb the peace?_

_That was when she noticed the sobs. She stopped to listen, confusion rattling her otherwise carefree mind. Was someone crying?_

_She turned around, trying to locate the source of the quiet, choked whimpers. She took a few small steps in one direction, then turned on her heel and started walking the opposite way. The crying grew louder as she came closer. At last she reached a tree with a trunk not too wide; she quietly looked around it._

_A small, slight form sat curled up against the trunk, tousled brown hair covering the face buried in small hands, shoulders trembling. The slightly oversized shirt was ripped by the seams and sported pale red stains on the back. Her large doe eyes widened a bit by the sight._

_She averted her gaze from the violent view and took a few steps forward. She stopped in front of the slightly older child, looking down at him blankly. “Why are you crying?” she said with a small voice._

“ _I'm not. Go away,” a muffled voice said from somewhere underneath the long hair._

_The seven year old girl hesitated shortly, then sat down on her knees in front of the boy. She tilted her head, “Does it hurt?”_

“ _I said, go away!” He merely curled up even more, turning towards the trunk to signal that he wasn't in the mood to talk at all._

_Serena stayed where she was, lowering her gaze to the ground. Then she looked up through her lashes again, “Mama always told me that if something hurts, you can kiss it better.”_

“ _Just leave me alone, Serena...”_

_She didn't move. Her tiny hands grasped tightly onto her pretty dress right above her knees. She leaned forward and pecked him on a small exposed spot on his dry cheek. He stiffened. She sat back again. They were both silent for a while, the only sound his troubled breathing._

“ _Does it hurt a little less now?”_

“ _... A little less.”_

* * *

No, he wasn't completely innocent though he seldom liked to be reminded. The boy had in a much too premature age seen what the cold desolation could do to his father, so he decided he should take advantage of the summer before winter would come and take his doe away.

* * *

**1828**

_She ignored the pain and burning sensation in her hamstrings and pushed herself further, reaching for her toes. A single drop of sweat trickled down her forehead. Clenching her eyes tight and biting her lip, she finally felt them – she grabbed around her feet with her small fingers, opening her eyes with a bright smile. “I did it!”_

_Daniel raised his eyebrows with an impressed look. “You really did.”_

_Serena let go of her toes and sat up normally again, embracing the release in the back of her knees. She looked at Daniel with triumph, “I told you I could do it! I'm starting to become really flexible; I can even do a split now! I practise almost every day.”_

“ _Then perhaps it will be you someday dancing as Flore,” he said, offering a gentle smile. Ever since his friend's uncle had brought her in to see_ Flore et Zéphire _in London, she had been unable to talk about anything else. She was completely infatuated with the idea of becoming a ballerina herself, it seemed._

_She scoffed and crossed her arms. “I want to, but my parents say I can't take ballet classes.”_

_Daniel silently wondered why Serena then even bothered trying to become as flexible as those ballerinas that she so idolised. But he decided it was probably better not to ask her, for she might take offence to it. Instead he said, “That's … unfortunate. Why not?”_

_Serena let out a heavy sigh, a small pout apparent on her plump lips. “Mother said that it is distasteful for a woman to spread her legs that much.”_

“ _Why?” Daniel frowned; he had never heard of such a thing._

_The younger girl merely shrugged and looked down at her small hands fidgeting with the bow tied around her waist, “She says that it is between the legs the ugliest part of a woman is hidden.”_

_His frown only deepened. “That's absurd,” he said, tilting his head, “There is nothing ugly about you, Serena.”_

_Serena blinked a few times, long lashes fluttering up and down as she took in his words. “Really? But how do you know? You haven't seen.”_

_He merely shrugged in response, “I don't need to. I just know. You're very pretty, Serena.” He nodded in her direction to indicate what he meant. “All of you.”_

_A sudden feeling overwhelmed her, a titillating warmth. She didn't know why, but it was so strong that she couldn't keep herself from blushing, and she had to look away. A warm, tingling sensation rooted deep within her tummy and spread to her whole body, and she couldn't stop smiling. She knew her mother didn't agree, but somehow that didn't matter any more. “Thank you, Daniel,” she said with a meek voice._

_Daniel wasn't sure why she didn't want to look at him any more. He hoped he hadn't said anything wrong. He averted his gaze himself, scratching the back of his head, “Um, you're welcome.” He paused a bit, then looked at her again and said, “You said you could do the split. Do you want to show me?”_

_Serena turned around to look at him in a flash, a bright smile on her face as she nodded with great enthusiasm. She spread her legs as far apart as she could, “Look! It barely even hurts!”_

* * *

“ _Why would we want to play with you?”_

_She lowered her gaze to the floor, folding her hands in front of her. Her cheeks and eyes burned hot, but she tried not to let it show. Regina had said that it was better not to. “I just thought there might be room for one more.”_

_The group of girls burst into laughter, a vicious and scornful one. One of the girls placed her hand on her hip and lifted one eyebrow, “There is never room for a dark-skinned witch girl. Go plough the fields and clean the house like your kind is supposed to!”_

_Once again all of them laughed loudly and without trying to conceal it. She cast a pleading glance to the teacher sitting on the outdoor bench near the classroom and keeping an eye on the students. Miss Crow merely looked away with a dismissive mien, having no intentions of helping out a dirty child with a dirty mother whom she was forced to tutor only due to her influential father; in her opinion the little girl was treated exactly how she deserved to be._

* * *

**1829**

_She hummed a quiet melody for herself as she flipped another page in her big book of constellations. The typical English autumn weather clouded the day, casting a grey light in through the window in the lavish townhouse building located in Knightsbridge, London._

“ _Be quiet, Magdalena! We both know whose fault it is!”_

_It had been going on for the past few hours. She had occupied herself in all sorts of ways. She had tried practising at the piano forte, but she didn't like how much noise that was producing, for what if they heard her? Surely her parents had already forgotten that she was there, and she didn't want them to be reminded._

_Then she tried sketching a few images in her sketchbook, but none of the drawings turned out good. At last she had merely turned to her books, although she knew her mother didn't like her reading. She had made it through five already, and still they weren't done arguing._

“ _I try, Hilmar...”_

“ _Well, try harder! I'm tired of all the talk, and I'm tired of her behaviour! **Fix her!** ”_

_A single tear fell and drew a moist line over her cheek. Serena sniffled and quickly wiped the tear away. She heard the slamming of the door, another valuable object falling from the force and breaking. Her mother ordered a maid to clean up the mess, but no one cared about the pieces of Serena's heart that lay scattered on the floor._

* * *

The garden was beautiful, his personal vineyard. He breathed in the savoury fragrance of the blooming flowers. His hands ran along the mountains and mounds, caressing every crest and kissing each pinnacle. These fruits were ripening, growing clusters of pomegranates that fitted perfectly in his hands and were sweet to his taste. Slowly the fountain in the garden started to trickle; fresh, clear spring water. He cut down the vines and revealed the plants underneath, and he brought water from the fountain to moisten the blossoming orchard. He allowed himself a sip, and he was immensely refreshed.

* * *

**1830**

“ _I really like cats. They're lovely,” she gushed, hugging her knees tightly against her chest as she watched the skipping stone her friend had thrown bounce across the surface of the river lake until it finally disappeared in a splash beneath the water. “They understand me. I've begged my mum and dad to give me one as a pet for years, but I don't think they take me seriously.”_

_Daniel let out a soft chuckle. Serena turned her head towards him with a very offended look on her face. “You don't take me seriously either!”_

“ _No, I do, I do,” he laughed, lifting his arm as a defence when his friend lashed out at him. “I agree. Cats are endearing animals.”_

“ _Why are you laughing, then?” Serena said, pushing her bottom lip forward in a pout. She honestly couldn't blame him for not taking her seriously when she constantly made cute expressions like that._

_He shrugged, smirking at her charmingly, “I just like it when you're excited.”_

_Serena's mien changed to one of sarcasm, not finding his attempt at flattering her humorous at all. She opened her mouth to bite back at him with a sharp remark of her own, but then she abruptly got a funny look on her face._

_Daniel's smile faded a bit and he lifted one eyebrow. The young girl gasped a few times, inhaling sharply as if she couldn't breathe. He tilted his head, by now profoundly confused. She raised her head more and more, her eyes watering. At last it happened; she let out a loud, uncontrolled sneeze._

_They were both quiet for a bit, not moving a muscle. Then the sound of stifled giggles broke the silence. “B-bless you,” Daniel said, struggling to keep his grin from becoming too wide._

_Serena once again knocked him over the shoulder, and then he broke into a hysterical laughter. “Don't laugh at me!” she yelled, although soon she couldn't keep from laughing herself._

_Daniel completely ignored her while he kept his arms raised as a shield from her beating, “Very charming, Miss da Silva. Are you sure you aren't perhaps allergic to cats?”_

“ _Just shut it, you!” Serena guffawed, standing up on her knees to assail him. Daniel fell backwards onto the grass, and the two of them rolled around, fighting and laughing like there was no tomorrow on a lovely summer day that hopefully wouldn't end too soon._

* * *

**1831**

_It was beautiful. Although relatively simple, there was no denying the blood, sweat and tears put into it, the love behind. The clean cut lines, the cursive numerals marking the date in the solid stone. The ash tree swayed slightly in the wind, as if there was a presence with them invisible to the naked eye._

_Serena remained as silent and still as she could, straining every inch of her body to show the deepest respect she could muster. Buried beneath her lay a body long gone, but the soul attached still lingered, and she could feel it. She prayed within her heart. She knew how much this meant; to Daniel, to his father, to his sister. And that meant so much to her._

_She bowed down to place the flowers before the tombstone. As soon as she had stood up again, she was met with warmth in the arms of Daniel. She requited the embrace and cuddled closer into his chest. The wind tangled in her hair, and she felt that she was welcome._

* * *

Under her tongue he found milk and honey. He engulfed her like a duvet, and she cuddled comfortably in his shade. By his touch the pomegranates swelled and pulsated. The garden grew lush and expanded, rivers of water streamed down the current from the fountain. “Is it good?” he asked, and she could do nothing but nod. Heat overtaking her, she began helping him cultivate the vineyard, and she let him watch and drink milk and honey and water.

* * *

**1832**

_She liked it much better when Regina brushed her hair than when their mother did; she was much more gentle. The two half-sisters sat comfortably in the serenity of the youngest one's chambers, where the early forenoon sun shined in through the curtains and cast off a dim warm light in the entire room. It was rare for the sun to be this bright in London._

“ _You shouldn't mind what all those petty girls from your class say,” Regina said, placing the brush beside her and starting to part her sister's hair into three sections, “They're just jealous, Sera.”_

“ _They say I'm a witch,” Serena said in a flat tone, staring down at the floor with a blank expression._

_Regina chuckled lightly while she started braiding her hair. “Now, that's ridiculous. You don't have a huge, crooked nose with a big, disgusting wart on it, do you?” Serena merely shrugged. “You're not a witch, Serena. You're very pretty,” Regina continued._

_Of course she didn't expect Regina to understand; she was born a natural blonde as the only one of Magdalena's daughters, with beautiful light curls and deep blue eyes – the ideal English woman. Serena fidgeted a bit with the laces on her dress, pondering her sister's words. “It seems so important to be pretty,” she muttered._

_It didn't escape Regina's ears. “It is very important,” she said, her hands working quickly on intertwining the young girl's hair._

“ _Why?”_

_Regina paused, but not for very long. “Otherwise it'll be very difficult to find a husband, let alone a good one.”_

_Serena turned her head towards Regina a bit, “But how can I know if my future husband will only care about my appearance?”_

_The blonde young woman now stopped her braiding entirely, the smile disappearing from her well-shaped, full lips. “Of course he will care about your looks. Us women were meant to be pleasing to the eyes of men. A large bosom, small waist, long hair and the most natural, beautiful of faces. Of course we need to be attractive, for we are an accessory to our husbands; we need to help them look good.”_

“ _But I imagine our marriage will be quite boring if I can't stimulate his mind, won't it?” Serena wondered out loud._

_Regina chuckled. “You have many fanciful ideas, Sera. We aren't taught those kinds of subjects. He'll most likely have numerous male friends to entertain those needs.”_

_Serena didn't answer. While Regina continued her work on the already long, elaborate braid, Serena's hair was slowly transforming into, her words resounded in the latter's mind. Was that it? Was that all there was to her life? Being an accessory? Being pretty?_

_She kept stumbling upon those thoughts. Regina and Katharina had always had the answers; she had listened to them complain about how stupid men could be ever since she could remember – she used to, in her silent mind, boast about how lucky she was that Daniel wasn't stupid at all like those men – yet they kept pretending to have their heads filled with air whenever they conversed with someone of the opposite sex. Was it to let them keep believing that they were superior? Serena couldn't for the life of her understand how that could be a benefit._

_As Regina finished up the braid, Serena eventually came to a conclusion, or at least an understanding of what she was meant for, what she was raised to do. She didn't as much question whether or not she liked it as she just accepted that this was how it was going to be._

* * *

“ _All right then, let's get started!”_

_She picked up a nail from the toolbox, but she almost didn't get to finish her sentence before she was suddenly grabbed by the wrist. She looked up at narrowed, green eyes with confusion in her own. “What exactly do you mean by that?” Daniel said._

_She merely laughed and took the hammer he was holding, “That we should start building, of course! You are such a dummy sometimes, Daniel.”_

“ _No way!” he said sharply, grabbing her other wrist, “You're not going to build anything!”_

“ _Why? What are you going to do, tell my mother?” she said and glared at him. She was getting tired of his stubbornness. Why did boys always have to be so proud?_

_He stayed silent for a bit. She struggled not to start laughing when his bottom lip started quivering, but when his cheeks flushed she couldn't contain her laughter any more. Daniel let go of her wrists and turned his back to her with crossed arms, clearly annoyed. “All right, then! Just don't come running to me when you break your nail and you need someone to kiss it better!” he snapped._

_Serena giggled and put her arms around his neck from behind him, resting her chin on his shoulder as she returned some of that playful attitude he had shown her earlier, “As if you wouldn't want to kiss me!”_

_She let go immediately afterwards, turning away from him to make sure he wouldn't see how red her cheeks became. She couldn't believe her own courage. Oh, how her mother would fuss if she knew! She tried hard not to start giggling in mere joy, hugging herself tightly while she tried to tame the fluttering butterflies in her stomach._

_She forced herself to come to her senses and went on to pick up a wooden board. She noticed that Daniel had turned around, and she handed him the hammer back. “But it is no fun if we aren't going to do it together.” She finally let her excitement show as she sent him a bright smile, “You must've been insane if you thought that I was going to let you build this alone on your birthday!”_

_Daniel smiled in return. She could've sworn she saw a glimpse of deeper affection in his eyes, but he merely grabbed the hammer from her and said, “Let's get to work.”_

* * *

“ _So tell me, what did you do this summer?”_

_Serena's gaze slowly turned to the large window and lingered on the view of the large, blossoming garden outside, a knowing curl on her lips. The smile on the redhead across from her only grew, and she lifted one of her arched, thick eyebrows. “You've had a certain blush on your cheeks ever since you returned from Canterbury, Serena. Has he grown?” The amusement was evident in her cat-like deep blue eyes. “He is taller now, isn't he? Like a man.”_

“ _Mary!” Serena said, unable to keep from smiling as her eyes locked on her hands, her cheeks warm with embarrassment._

“ _Did he kiss you?” the older girl continued unabashed, leaning forward toward her friend._

_Serena gasped, her eyes round in disbelief. “You're outrageous!” she laughed._

_Mary shrugged, bringing her hand to cover her mouth as she chuckled. Oh, had she heard much about this mystical boy, Serena's summer sweetheart. From what she had gathered, he was tall, intelligent, kind, incredibly comely and too charming for his own good. But of course, Serena could never fall in love with him! She just liked to talk about him a lot, was all._

_She tilted her head. “Well, did he?”_

“ _Keep it down! What if someone hears us?” Serena said, frantically looking about the smaller sitting room._

_Mary rolled her eyes at her friend, who only seemed to be evading the issue by now. “Do you think he reciprocates your feelings?”_

_Serena's voice raised yet several pitches. “Mary!”_

“ _Serena!”_

_She shut her mouth, cringing a bit beneath Mary's steel glare which clearly communicated that she was losing her patience. The older girl lifted her eyebrows with a wry smile on her lips._

_Serena let out a sheepish giggle in return, her smile growing by the second as she bashfully looked away. “No, he didn't kiss me.” She looked at Mary again, who gestured for her to continue. “I… I don't think he feels that way about me,” she shook her head, as if she tried to shake some idea out of it, “Why would he even glance at a silly girl like me? No, he's too old. I'm just a little girl in his eyes... He probably has a lot of darlings in between the summer holidays...”_

_She seemed to drift away in her thoughts, resting her chin in her palm as she gazed out into blue air, “He's probably very experienced... I am certain that all the girls in Canterbury know his name. He's made a reputation of himself, you know. They know to keep away, but they can't resist him. Not when he looks at them with those smouldering green eyes...”_

“ _You know what they say about boys of the lower classes,” Mary said, still sporting that foxy smile, “Aren't they a little more … free-spirited?”_

_A wide smile spread on Serena's face. She waved her hand at her friend. “Oh, they are so free, Mary! And a lot more fun than those sulky lords and sirs!” She leaned forward, her eyes gleaming with excitement. “Do you know, he's not so careful about touching me at all! He just pulls me into his arms without asking, nothing! He doesn't need to. And it's so warm there, in his embrace…”_

_Mary's eyes widened slightly. “That is unimaginable! He might as well have kissed you!”_

“ _No, he's too much of a gentleman,” Serena said with a long sigh, hugging herself._

_Mary laughed, “I thought he was a predator with ladies! Which is it, Rena?”_

_Serena shot her friend a glare. “He's only a gentleman to me! He knows how important it is that I stay pure, and he accepts that! He would never ruin me.”_

_The redhead leaned forward, lifting one eyebrow. “Oh, but the other ladies don't matter, of course. So you do think he cares for you?”_

“ _Of course he cares for me!” Serena snapped, the flush returning to her face. Mary chuckled once again. “Don't laugh at me!”_

_The older girl didn't seem to take that warning very seriously at all as she just kept on laughing. Serena tried to keep her face straight, but soon she burst into giggles as well. When their laughter finally stilled, they sat in comfortable silence for a little while. Serena looked out the window again with that characteristic dreamy gaze of hers. “Do you really think that that is what he is like?”_

_Mary raised her eyebrows, amused with her ever so romantic friend. “How would I know any better than you?”_

_Serena merely rolled her eyes, smiling sheepishly._

* * *

The stallion took after his sire, climbing the mountain with unrelenting determination, set on success. This fruit was sweet and sacred and cultivated by his hands, so he would treat it gently. Drops of dew trickled from his head, and he guided her hands towards the apple tree and let her caress the trunk. She locked her hands around the fruits, delighting in the sweet juice. She knew that this was the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, yet she was tempted to take a bite.

* * *

_There it was, in the clearing; the beautiful animal took a few elegant steps forward, taking a big chunk of the lush grass on the forest floor, serene and blissfully unaware of the pair of watchful eyes locked on it._

_Serena took a deep breath, her brown eyes wide as they focused intently on the target. The doe was still unperturbed, peacefully munching on the grass. Her hands shook slightly as she squeezed her fingers tighter around the rifle, one on the trigger. The doe lifted its head and looked around, clueless to the fate that was to befall it._

“ _You can do it, Sera,” her brother whispered, “Focus.”_

_Her eyes narrowed, fingers clenching around the weapon. She could do it, she told herself. The doe seemed to be looking directly at her. Its eyes were round, deep, brown mirrors. It spoke to her, but silently. She saw the undeniable reflection._

_She loosened her grip around the rifle, lowering it with a pained expression. “I can't,” she said in what was barely a whisper._

_The tall young man knelt down beside his younger half-sister, a small frown visible between his groomed brows. “What is the matter, Serena?”_

_Serena squeezed her eyes shut and hugged herself. “I can't kill it, Aaron,” she said with a small voice, “It's not fair. It's healthy and beautiful. I don't want to shoot it.”_

_Aaron sighed. He pursed his lips and stroked her back comfortingly as he fell in deep thought, though still keeping an eye on the grazing hind. It hadn't suspected anything yet. He spoke with an Icelandic accent thicker than their father's, “Serena, you have to shoot it.”_

“ _But I don't want to,” she said, frowning, “Why do I have to?”_

“ _Because you're better than all the other silly pretty ladies in the higher society,” he said with a firm voice, causing Serena to close her mouth that had been slightly agape. He placed his hand on her shoulder. “They laugh and gossip and enjoy their fine dining and fancy wine, but they don't know the true value of it. Serena, you've eaten a doe like this yourself before. You enjoyed it, didn't you?”_

_Serena was reluctant to answer. “I did...”_

_He offered a reassuring smile, so as to tell her that she shouldn't feel ashamed. “And you have the right to,” he said, his voice soothing, “But if you're not willing to kill the animal you're going to eat yourself, you are nothing but a hypocrite. You are the arrogant one, for you couldn't look the living creature in the eyes while it dies for your noble cause, for your survival. Do you understand, doll?”_

_She was so conflicted. She didn't want to cause anyone pain, much less an innocent animal. But Aaron was right, she and everyone she knew ate meat all the time, and where did it come from? Could she live with herself like this?_

_Aaron smiled at her, much like how her father smiled forgivingly at her every time she apologised for causing trouble. But no, it was never the fault of his little girl; at least he would never admit that to her directly. Her brother looked so much like their father, tall and majestic and charismatic just like him, and very unconventional in his thinking as well. That was something Serena appreciated a lot. It was also something she knew her mother found to be very troublesome. Considering the circumstances, Serena understood why; she only wished it could be different._

“ _Will it suffer?” she said in a hushed tone, looking down at the rifle as she lifted it a bit._

_Her adult brother shook his head with that same caring smile, brushing her side-swept fringe away from her eyes. “Not if you focus,” he said, lifting a finger and pointing at her forehead, “and hit it right in the head.”_

_Serena swallowed a lump in her throat and turned her gaze towards the unaware doe again. It still hadn't noticed a thing or moved out of place; it was an incredible and rare coincidence. She lifted the rifle and positioned it the way her brother had showed her many times before when they had sneaked out to the shooting field and practised. She narrowed her eyes, filled with determination, ignoring the slight tremble in her hand._

_The doe lifted its head once again, and it seemed to be looking directly at her. She moistened her lips, her frown growing deeper. “You die for a noble cause,” she said under her breath, “and I will cherish you.”_

_She pulled the trigger. A loud bang sounded across the Icelandic woods, and birds flew from the tree tops. Then everything became silent._

“ _Good job, Sera,” Aaron said, standing up again and patting her back, “I'm proud of you. You provided dinner today!”_

_Serena offered a weak smile as she gazed upon the dead animal lying in the clearing. It wasn't that she felt bad or regretted her actions. Looking into the dead doe eyes, she merely felt like she had killed a small part of herself._

* * *

**1833**

_Serena took a sip of the wine, struggling hard not to grimace at the bitter taste. Laughter boomed around the fine dining table, for her parents and their friends were pouring down the alcohol faster than what was healthy for the sanity._

“ _But in all honesty, my dear friend,” Mr. Maynard chuckled, nodding towards Serena across the table, “Your daughter is a gem, Hilmar. A real gem, much like your wife. You've done a good job.”_

_Serena's father flashed his row of perfect, white teeth at his good friend. “Thank you, Albert. We have high expectations for her. She'll be the ideal wife when she becomes a young woman, you can count on that.” Magdalena gently placed her hand over her husband's, and they shared a glance of satisfaction and pride._

“ _I do not doubt that,” Maynard said, using his handkerchief to carefully wipe his mouth and the dark, grizzled beard surrounding it. His wife, a rather stout, round woman, followed up, “I believe she'll make an excellent party once she becomes of age. Did she learn the necessary skills that a young girl should master? We fully believe that a woman should have a thorough education in arts, literature and skills of social costumes, much like a boy should be taught politics, mathematics and sports. Our boys are assured a good education in the hands of the Winchester College.”_

“ _Of course she has mastered all the accomplishments a girl should,” Magdalena said in a slightly sharp tone, “In fact, she excels at them. You should hear her sing at the piano forte, one would mistake her voice for that of an angel's!”_

_While her parents and their friends continued discussing Serena as if she wasn't present even though she sat right there at the table with them, she silently finished her plate of delicious beef stew, feeding their illusion. She cast a glance at her peers, two young boys only a few years older and younger than her respectively. They didn't seem bothered by the adults' discussion at all, merely swallowing down the dinner in a controlled and refined manner that one of the peerage should always maintain. Serena did the same._

_Later in the evening, Serena was left in the company of the two young fellers while their fathers went into the poker room and had another gin and their mothers settled inside the parlour. She sat upright in the padded satin chair, her small hands folded in her lap as she watched them talk and hang about in the bay window, finally relaxing and letting loose now that their parents had left the room._

“ _Edward, did you hear that Arthur is moving to New England?” the younger one of them said, the twelve year old Sherman Maynard. He was a cheerful, albeit a bit immature young lad who didn't have many cares in his life; the innocent sparkle in his blue eyes reflected that blissful ignorance._

_His older brother pulled one leg up on the rest of the bay window and let the other dangle freely by the edge. His hair was a bit lighter than his brother's ash brown, short hair, and he was evidently much more experienced with the world, although he would probably never lose the protecting veil that always followed being part of the upper class. A smug smile formed on the fifteen year old boy's lips, “Yes, indeed. His parents bought a vineyard, he told me. I've heard that many make a good profit over there, away from the restraints of our dear king. I honestly don't know what we're still doing in England; first chance I get, I'm on a ship to the Americas!”_

_Serena opened her mouth to comment, but she was too slow. “Mr. Crowley said that if the family hopes to make any money at all, they should probably hire an accountant. His father slanders the money as if he had enough of them to spend!” Sherman chuckled, making himself comfortable across from his brother._

“ _As much as I hate to admit it, the good Mr. Crowley has a point,” Edward said in response, his smile growing. Not once did he remove his gaze from the view outside the window. “Arthur is evidence enough of that. He takes after his father very much. I foresee a disaster, but at least it's not going to cost us here in England anything.”_

“ _Perhaps it's healthy that the family get a fresh start. New England is a good place for those, as far as I've heard.”_

_The two boys turned their gaze, both eyebrows raised. They had almost completely forgotten the daughter of their parents' friends that they had been left in charge with. She blinked a few times, tilting her head slightly to one side. Wasn't she a cute one, trying to join a discussion she was far too inept to follow._

_Edward's smile soon returned to his thin lips. “And supposedly you know a whole lot about New England, Miss da Silva?”_

_She averted her gaze, a slight frown between her brows. “Not a whole lot-”_

“ _Have you ever_ been _to New England, Miss da Silva?”_

“ _Well, no, but...”_

_Sherman broke into a laughter. “I bet she hasn't even been abroad!”_

_Serena felt her cheeks burn hot with anger. She wanted to put that little brat in his place and tell him that she had been further from England than he could ever hope to go, but she didn't get to speak her mind before Edward said, “I apologise, Miss, but perhaps instead of filling your pretty little head with worries not suitable for a young lady and trying to converse about worldly matters with the wrong gender, you could borrow Mama's sewing kit and embroider a nice handkerchief, or maybe even sit down by the piano forte and sing us a song? We were told that you were good at that.”_

_She was nothing less of astounded. Was her appearance really all they saw? Did her opinion not matter because she was the_ wrong gender? _Daniel had never treated her that way. He always listened, even if he didn't say so much, and he eagerly shared all of his knowledge with her regardless of her sex. She had always known that her job as a woman was to stay quiet and stay pretty, her sisters had told her that – but she had never known just what that meant until she came face to face with it. She never realised that no one would actually listen to what she had to say._

_The two brothers didn't pay her any more attention; they continued on with their conversation as if she wasn't there, just as usual. Serena stood up from her seat with fisted hands and marched out of the room. There was no way she was going to sing them a song!_

* * *

She held the apple in her hand. By the locked gate of the garden stood the stallion, waiting to be let inside. Sweetly he whispered to her ear, his warm breath like the southern wind blowing down on her sensitive skin. It was a whisper asking for permission. She closed her eyes and let him enter.

* * *

**1833**

“ _Can I kiss you?”_

_She barely even recognised the words, let alone what they meant. Right in this moment everything was hilarious, and she was in no condition to take anything seriously. Her whole body tickled still even though he had stopped. She kept laughing, her eyes closed, shaking her head. “I don't think my father would like that very much,” she managed to get out through her giggles._

_She suddenly felt warmth against her forehead, causing her laughter to subside a little. She was alarmingly aware of how close he was to her. “No one has to know.”_

_Now she stopped laughing all together. She felt paralysed, completely unable to move, and most definitely unable to look up at him. She suddenly knew that she had gotten herself into a situation she couldn't control. She let out a quiet, shaking breath and pushed herself tightly up against the tree trunk. She felt an overwhelming heat overcoming her as he pressed his body against hers._

_She sneaked a peek up at him, hoping he wouldn't notice. Oh, he was so incredibly handsome; those brilliant green eyes, the long, slightly messy brown hair that kept falling in front of his face and that charming smile, all more than enough to make any girl melt on the spot. And then there was the undeniable fact that he had grown taller and broader, and she felt so small in comparison. She trembled, butterflies doing somersaults in her belly as her knees turned to jelly. She was so weak for him, more than ever before._

_He came closer to her bit by bit, then paused. It was as if the whole world had stopped around them. She could only hear the blood rushing in her ears, her fragile heart beating frantically against her developing chest. She hadn't allowed him. She didn't know what to do. She felt as if she_ should _know. He hesitated for only a short moment before he finally pressed his lips softly against hers._

 _She felt cold and warm all at once. In fear of giving him the wrong idea, she just stood completely still and let him have his way. Had she dreamed of this? She didn't know, but now she was afraid. Her mind was in chaos; he seemed so experienced. Her heart dropped, and she closed her eyes tightly. He seemed_ experienced.

_His lips felt so soft, his breath so warm against her own. Their foreheads and noses gently bumped together in a brief moment, but then he tilted his head. He pressed his lips against hers in soft motions, and it felt nice and comfortable. His tall, broad body seemed to engulf her, cover her in its warmth. She hesitantly began to reciprocate the touch._

_She felt him place his hand on her slender neck and run his fingers through her hair. The familiar scent nearly overpowered the smell of fresh, wet grass in damp air. She loved that scent,_ his _scent. It was comforting. She was still perturbed, but she tried to still those thoughts. He leaned further into her, deepening their kiss, grabbing tighter onto her._

_No matter how much her mind resisted, her body couldn't help it; she felt something start to burn deep down in her stomach, and now only a gentle touch of his fingers against the bare skin under her jawline made small explosions go off within her. She felt like she was melting and he was moulding her with his very hands. She couldn't contain a moan, and that was how she fell into the trap._

_As soon as she parted her lips, he let his tongue slip in between. She stiffened at the sudden warm, moist touch that she never had felt anything like before. For a brief moment his teeth clashed against hers, but he merely tilted his head even more and closed his mouth over hers._

_She knew that she was lost now, she had fallen, and he didn't even care; about her dignity, about anything. And still she couldn't help but enjoy it. Her body craved it – she didn't know how or when it had gotten a voice, but now it was speaking to her loud and clear. His taste was something she couldn't quite put her finger on, something raw, hot, piquant. Oh, how she wanted him to take her, how she wanted him to stop._

_His hands travelled further down her neck to the thin skin on her collarbone and continuing. Her breathing picked up as he came near a part of her he had no business touching, but still she didn't stop him. Anticipation rose within her for something she knew was forbidden – but then his hand halted right above her chest. She sighed, feeling as though he had set up a thrilling premise for her to afterwards leave it anti-climactic. Her heart wouldn't cease its rapid beating, though; she needed more._

_But he pulled away from her, and the humid, cool air kissed her instead. She suddenly felt incomplete, and then a cold splash brought her back to reality. She knew what she had done._

_When he lifted his head to go in for the kill again, like a predator attacking an unaware lamb, she turned her head away. She scanned their surroundings in a single blink. “The rain has stopped.”_

_As soon as he looked away, she wiggled out of his hold and ran towards Lady Margaret. She jumped onto the good-natured mare and looked back at Daniel again. His expression was one big question mark. She tried to shake it off and regain her usual playful demeanour, sending him a challenging smile. “Catch me if you can!”_

_She turned the horse around and kicked her heels into its flanks, and within that same moment she was flying across the meadow. The farther she got away from him, the more her smile faded. Soon small drops of salt ran down her flushed cheeks, and she tried to tell herself that it was merely the wind whipping against her face._

_But she knew what she had done – what she had let him do to her. She knew he probably had others as well. She was foolishly in love, completely at his mercy, and he took advantage of it. The boy she loved was no different from all the other men._

_**Mother, forgive me.** _

* * *

“D-Daniel… It… It hurts…”

He breathed heavily, biting his lip. His whole body shuddered as he paused in his position, small drops of sweat running down his forehead. She squirmed beneath him, her small fingers trembling slightly against his skin. “I'm sorry,” he whispered, gently nuzzling his nose into the nook of her neck and up along her cheek. She didn't respond; he noticed how she avoided his eyes. Her lashes had been fluttered down, her gaze looking towards her chest the whole time. He caressed her hand and ran his fingers down her arm to her shoulder. “Do… Do you want me to stop?”

She finally looked at him, bright brown eyes glinting in the candlelight. Her voluminous, blossoming bosom heaved up and down in an intense, irregular rhythm. He felt her fingers on the back of his head play with his hair, her long nails gently scratching and massaging his scalp. She looked away from him again and down at his collarbone. Moistening her lips, she swallowed hard. “N-no.”

He leaned down and planted a soft kiss on her flushed cheek. His warm breath on her bare neck made her shiver, and he placed a kiss there as well before grabbing her thigh, pushing it up and thrusting deeper.

She closed her eyes tight, letting out a small cry. He groaned by the pressure. She was so tight and warm. Her nails sank into his skin, tearing up the fresh wounds his father had served him the other night. It stung and burned, but he didn't care. He endured the pain, just like she did; small drops of blood trickled down his back, but he merely propped her leg up onto his shoulder for better access and pushed further.

The simple, elegant satin choker hugging her neck and her thin stockings were the only things covering her body still. He cupped her round, firm breast in his hand, gently squeezing and caressing her nipple. A quiet moan escaped her lips. She pressed her small hands against his hard chest. Slowly she stroked it, spreading her hands further apart and touching his sensitive nipples ever so lightly. It sent small shock waves down his spine. Her nails gently ran down his stomach, and he tugged it in reflexively as she struck his nerves.

He hovered right above her, his nose barely touching hers. He caressed her face, brushing stray strands of dark moist hair that stuck to her forehead away. She was so beautiful; her small nose, the soft shape of her face, high cheekbones and narrow chin. Her full, pink lips and the slanting, oval brown doe eyes that had been what he had first noticed when he met her. He realised he had been imagining this moment for longer than he had cared to admit, and he couldn't believe how lucky he was. He wanted to claim her for himself.

His fingers weaved into her hair, and he pressed his lips against hers again. He felt her small, careful fingers lightly grab around his wrist. She moaned into his mouth when he pressed further into her. He placed one hand on top of her belly, feeling the tension from the muscles clenching underneath. His thumb gently stroked the soft skin as he thrust deeper, her stomach distending just a tiny bit under his touch. He slid in perfectly now.

Her breathing was erratic, it became harder to keep quiet. Slowly he pulled back, then pushed into her again. She yelped and grabbed on to his hips. He had her spread her legs even more, still thrusting deeper into her, feeling all of her warmth engulfing him in the sweetest ecstasy. He pressed his own body against hers as they collided in perfect harmony. His head was spinning, he could sense nothing but the pure pleasure. He could have never known that this was what it would feel like.

She gasped as he thrust deep into her again, her grasp around his hips tightening. He could barely think straight any more. Their bodies were sweltering and melting into each other, the candles around them burning as hot as their insides with their dancing flames reflecting in the clear surface of the gem, her choker was embellished with. He felt every inch of her, and that was an achievement. He was becoming a man tonight.

He grabbed her waist and pulled her closer to himself, lifting her slightly up from the soft covers she lay upon. She locked her legs around him. Every muscle in his body was working as he kept thrusting faster and faster in an incessant rhythm. She was incredibly light in his arms, her whole body so small in scale. She found his lips and kissed them sweetly. It only fuelled his hunger, and he responded by deepening the kiss. With one hand locked on her tail to keep her steady, his other found her hand and weaved his fingers in between hers.

The fire in his stomach raged. His limbs were beginning to tremble. He laid her down on the bedding again and sat up properly so he had an exquisite view of her lying before him. He proceeded to place both of her legs up against his torso, all the while admiring how straight and slender and lithe they were, the skin so milky and flawless. He leaned forward a bit, and positioned like this he could reach even deeper.

She arched her back, letting out the sweetest sounds for each and every thrust. He enjoyed how it made her already generous bust appear even larger, and he bit his lip. He felt that he was close and he couldn't stop, not now. He reached down and grabbed her breasts in both of his hands. She grabbed his wrist with one hand and pulled on her long, wavy hair with the other, clenching her eyes shut as her cries became higher and higher. The anticipation was unbearable, the sensation reaching its peak.

He grabbed both of her wrists and pinned them above her head, leaning over her as the pace became rapid. He brushed his long, brown hair away from his face. Various bodily fluids dribbled down. The world had disappeared around them, nothing mattered any more. They were finally united as one. This was their declaration of love.

He let out a deep groan as he felt himself reach the ultimate state of euphoria. The sensation in his groin exploded, pleasure rushing to every corner of his being. She clenched tightly around him, and he felt himself shoot into her, merging with her very core. She cried and tensed in his grasp. He shook frantically, and then the relaxation came over him. His whole body sighed in relief, arms shivering, unable to keep steady. For a moment they froze in their positions, but then they both reclined.

Daniel let out a shaking sigh and pulled out, lying down on his back beside her and panting heavily as he stared up into the ceiling of the small house. His brain was unable to process his thoughts. All he could perceive was the sheer bliss and peace he felt in both body and mind. For a moment, the first in a very long time, all his worries were gone and forgotten, and he was completely at ease.

Serena lay motionless beside him, not uttering a single sound other than that of her breathing. He closed his eyes. He was so unbelievably elated; he had the most beautiful girl in the world lying next to him, flushed and naked, and he couldn't be more thankful. He didn't see how she slowly curled up, pulling into herself.

Suddenly Serena sat up. Daniel opened his eyes again and pushed himself up onto his elbows, but Serena didn't look at him; in fact, she turned away from him. As she reached for her garments, all she uttered was, “This was a mistake.”

And just like that he was completely shot down. The happiness and calmness he had felt before vanished, and all he was left with was a large, empty void eating up at him inside. He was shocked. For a short moment he had been on top of the world, and faster than ever he had returned to the bottom again. He merely watched her struggle to put on her clothes, which looked to be quite the challenge with the many layers. His lips had become dry so he moistened them, looking away from her with a deep frown and tense jaw, “… I'm sorry you feel that way.”

She didn't respond. He pulled up his trousers again and reached for the ruined shirt he had thrown into the corner earlier; the wine spilled onto it had dried now. He really didn't feel comfortable letting her see his naked back any more.

Daniel put on the crumpled shirt, but he didn't bother tugging it inside his trousers. Instead he just pulled his knee up and rested his arms and chin on it, turned in one direction while watching Serena out of the corner of his eyes. She was completely turned away from him while she struggled to tighten her corset by herself, and he sensed that she desired some privacy. He turned away, his fists tightened. “Do you … need help?”

He heard how she paused for a moment. “No, I'm... It's fine.” He closed his eyes.

She shuffled a bit behind him, but after a while everything was quiet again. He opened his eyes and glanced at her, and as he expected she had gotten her dress fully on. She was still sitting with her back turned to him, her head lowered.

Daniel looked away, his teeth clenched together. He hated this. He hated how she made him feel like he was the jerk who had pressured her into something she wasn't ready for. “You... You said you wanted this.”

“I know,” she said. Her voice was soft, her small shoulders slumped. “It was my mistake.”

He once again turned his head, a deep frown furrowing his brows and his mouth a tight line. “… Why?”

Finally she turned around and looked at him with an agonising expression. Her brown eyes were glazed over on the verge of tears, her lower lip quivering slightly. “You threw my locket away!” she exclaimed with a trembling voice, her hands clutching her chest. “You were meant to keep it close! S-so that we could always be together…” She lowered her gaze again, swallowing hard. Couldn't he see just how much it had meant to her, how abandoned and alone she had felt this past year? She was struggling not to cry. “I… I needed you.”

Daniel's frown deepened, his hands fisted. She had no right to blame him! “I didn't throw it away, Serena!” he said sharply, “I had to hide it!”

She looked up at him with confusion in her blank round eyes. “Hide it?”

He sighed and crawled to one corner of the house. Serena frowned when he removed the loose board and dug into the ground with a small shovel left outside. Finally he gathered the box that had been buried there and dug through all the items inside until he found what he was looking for. “It was just too risky,” he said, his tone softening a bit as he showed her the item in his hand; the locket. Serena slowly lifted her hand to her mouth. “There are so many people in my life who meddle a bit too much in others' businesses...” He hesitated a bit, “I… I was afraid.” Serena looked at him, her doe eyes wider than ever, asking for elaboration. He bit his lip and looked away, “… afraid of losing it. I just ... couldn't bear the thought of someone taking it away from me…”

She looked down at the locket clenched in his hand, in deep thought. It was still shiny and polished. She frowned and looked up at him again. “What about me?” she said quietly.

Daniel finally looked her in the eyes. He took a deep breath and reached a hand forward, caressing the side of her face ever so gently. “Serena, I…” He hesitated for a moment, but then swallowed a huge lump in his throat. “I have fallen in love with you.”

Serena let out a small gasp, covering her mouth with both her hands. He immediately removed his hand from her face, and she looked away from him. This was the worst reaction he could have expected. This evening couldn't possibly get any worse now. He made a last desperate attempt to save it, “I'm sorry, Serena, I shouldn't have-”

“Can you please- !” He instantly shut his mouth when she interrupted him. He was taken aback by her raising both her voice and hand. “Please be quiet, Daniel,” she muttered and lowered her hand again, still without looking at him.

He regretted having said anything at all. He felt like an idiot. He was certain he had ruined every chance he could have possibly had with this girl. He looked away with clenched teeth, letting his long hair fall before his face so she wouldn't see his frustration.

It seemed like Serena stayed quiet for an eternity before she finally uttered, “I… I don't believe this...” Daniel let out a deep sigh, closing his eyes. He felt her place her fingers underneath his chin and guide him back to face her. He opened his eyes, confused. “All these years...” she continued, a meek smile on her lips, “And I thought I was nothing but a silly little girl to you. I never thought you would even look at me...” Her lower lip began quivering again, her chest raising and falling in heavy breaths. “But I was so infatuated, so ill with love. I've always been devoted to you.”

Daniel's eyes widened. She grabbed his hand and held it up against her chest. “I gave you my heart,” she said with a shaky voice, “last summer. The locket.” A single tear finally escaped her eye and she let out a forced chuckle, looking away and wiping it with her dress sleeve. “I feel so stupid... Oh god...” She looked back at him, “I've always loved you, Daniel. So much. Each day away from you is torment, and... I just don't want to be without you. I need you.” She couldn't stop the tears any more and looked down to hide her face from him. “I'm sorry, I'm just so overwhelmed...”

Daniel reached for her face and made her look at him again, wiping the tears from her soft cheeks and leaning his forehead against hers. “So … you don't think I was a mistake?” he said quietly.

Serena shook her head frantically, a new stream of tears travelling down her face. “No, Daniel, you weren't the mistake!” she said in short breaths, “It was me… It was only me…”

He shook his head himself. “No, Serena. There is absolutely nothing mistaken about you. You are perfect.” He put his arms around her and pulled her close to him, nuzzling his nose against hers.

She lifted her hand to his face, caressing his features; the straight, sharp nose, the angular Cupids bow on his upper lip, the high cheekbones, defined jawline and the deep crease above his narrow, piercing green eyes. “Please promise me,” she whispered into their shared breaths, “that someday you'll come to London … and then you'll marry me…”

He didn't consider the possibility of it all, nor if it was even realistic. He didn't mention that he was supposed to stay in Canterbury and be an artisan, and that he would never become of an acceptable status to marry her. He didn't think at all. He just said, “I promise.”

Serena leaned further into him, and he took it as an invitation. He locked his lips on hers, pressing her close to him and letting his slender fingers tangle in her long wavy locks. He put the locket away in his trouser pocket and laid her back down onto the soft bedding in the middle of the small house, leaning over her and deepening the kiss. “Be mine,” he mumbled against her lips.

“I am already yours,” she whispered, running her fingers through his brown hair, “I have always been.”

He gained access, slipping his tongue past her lips and into the warm, moist cavern behind. She grabbed his hand and led it up along her beautifully embroidered bodice, resting it atop her breast. He squeezed as much as he could through the stays. This was where he was supposed to be. He couldn't bear the thought of having to wait another year to taste her sweet kisses again. If only she could stay with him, she belonged here in his arms. He loved her so much. He felt that anything was possible now; he was going to move to London and attend the university there regardless of his father's wishes, he'd become an archaeologist like he always wanted, get Hazel transferred to the London Infirmary so she could get the treatment she needed, and marry the girl of his dreams. Everything would turn out perfectly.

He was so blissfully unaware.

That was when the door suddenly burst open. _“_ _ **WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF HER!**_ _”_

Daniel and Serena looked up in shock. A large, sturdy man barged into the small wooden house and grabbed harshly onto Daniel's arm. He pulled him out of the small house, pushing him onto the ground outside.

“No, Murphy! Please don't hurt him!” Serena cried in panic as she crawled out.

The man barked right back at her, “ _You_ , Miss da Silva, better keep quiet! Your parents are _not_ pleased with this, I assure you!”

Daniel lifted himself off the ground, looking up. That was when he caught sight of him. Standing a little further back, behind the crowd of massive men that had come to bring Serena back, was Henry. He stared right back at Daniel, his eyes full of nothing but pure hatred.

Murphy grabbed Daniel by his hair, pulling him up on his feet. “ _Get up_ , you bastard!” the furious man roared, “The girl's parents would like to have a word with you!”

The other men took him by his arms. He did a weak attempt at breaking free from their grip, but he achieved nothing but a blow in the stomach and a large fist to his face. He tasted metallic liquid, and soon felt it run down his chin. His ribs hurt even more than before, and the headache and nausea, he had felt come and go ever since the fire incident, returned stronger than ever.

Serena followed her father's men, covering her mouth and trying to keep from crying. She knew that Daniel meeting her father like this wouldn't end well.

 

 


	28. Crossroads

This was the end.

They had been walking for almost an hour now. The sky had become dark; the Blean seemed thick and malicious in the scarce light provided by the few lanterns the men had brought along. The only sounds were those of the nature coming from deep within the woods around them, their footsteps against the thick forest ground and Serena's occasional quiet sobs. Though whenever it got too loud, Murphy sure made it known by telling her to shut her mouth.

Daniel nearly stumbled over his feet trying to keep up the pace Mr. Thórsson's henchmen had set for him. That's what he assumed they were anyway, for none of them wore neat or posh-looking clothes, so they couldn't be Mr. Thórsson's aristocratic friends; it also seemed highly unlikely that he would send his friends out to fetch his daughter and her lover. The headache and nausea had returned tenfold from before. He felt as ill as when he had just returned from the school after the fire incident. He was about ready to throw up, and his tense nerves didn't help the matter. He felt warm liquid running down his back from the wounds Serena had tore open earlier, causing his already ruined shirt to stick uncomfortably to his skin. He didn't speak up though, for he didn't expect the men to feel sorry for him. If they had noticed the wine bottle in the tree house, they probably just thought him to be drunk.

He guessed he had always known this moment would come, even all the way back when he had first agreed to play with her that fateful day on the meadow. He knew that it was bold of him to continue seeing her. It was bold of him to educate her and show her the warmth she had been neglected of at home, and most of all it had been bold of him to hold and kiss her the way he had. But he chose to take the risk, and no matter how much of a beating he was going to take for it he had no regrets whatsoever.

But still, it was the _reason_ why they had even been caught that went beyond his comprehension and patience. His blood boiled at the thought of the bastard. He couldn't believe it. After all he had done, after all the mental and physical abuse he had taken from that rat just to keep him happy, he had told on him anyway, and he didn't even have the damn guts to stick around and watch as Daniel got punished severely because of him. He left as soon as the men had caught them, not uttering a single word. He didn't have to. The look in his eyes said more than enough. Yes, Daniel had always known that this moment would come, and he could accept that it was his own fault. But he couldn't accept that it was also _Henry's_.

Finally the woods seemed to be thinning out. It didn't come as a relief though. Daniel's feet involuntarily began to drag against the ground in a subconscious attempt to put off the inevitable.

“ **YOU JUST KEEP WALKING, YOU SCUMBAG!** ”

He received a hard push to his back. The impact made his wounds sting, but he bit back a cry of pain. “Don't treat him like that,” Serena whimpered behind him.

Murphy turned around to face her. She visibly cringed beneath his furious glare. “You think this is bad? You probably should have thought of that before you ran off to fool around with lower class rats, Miss da Silva! Just wait until your father gets his hands on him, then there'll be hell to pay, I assure you!”

Serena's eyes widened in horror. “No!” she exclaimed, grabbing on to the large man's arm, “Please, this is not necessary! I promise I will never see him again, just let him go and I'll come home with you and talk to my parents!”

Daniel's heart sunk all the way down to his stomach at those words. “Serena!” he cried softly, sending her a look of utter despair. How could she accept not ever seeing him again?

Serena didn't get to respond, for then another one of the men gave Daniel a blow to his stomach so he cracked and fell to his knees, gasping for air. Serena made a high sound and jumped on the spot. The man barked right into Daniel's face, _“DON'T YOU SPEAK HER DAMN NAME!”_

“ _Stop it!”_

Serena tried to run past the men and reach him, but Murphy quickly had her arm in a steel grip. “Do you think you have any say whatsoever in the matter of what's going to happen to your little toy? You're in big trouble, little miss!”

“He's not a toy, he's my friend!” she protested, her voice strained in an obvious attempt to keep it from trembling.

The large man merely scoffed, his eyes wide with disbelief. “Do you take me for a fool? I don't know what this boy has made you believe, but whatever you were doing in that house is not activity common among friends! Perhaps _you_ are the toy, Miss da Silva!”

All the colour in Serena's face drained. “He didn't make me believe anything!” she said with a high voice, but her voice grew weaker as she added, “Our... Our feelings are mutual!”

The whole group of men burst into a laughter that rang through the treetops of the Blean. “Dear me, you poor naïve girl,” Murphy said, amusement in his rough voice, “If you really think he cares for you, you are delusional!”

Daniel looked up from his position on the ground. He saw how Serena struggled to hold back her tears, and it was at once both agonising and humiliating witnessing some stupid brute trying to convince her that his love for her wasn't real – and nearly succeed. But no matter how much he wanted to prove them wrong and make them eat their words again, he simply couldn't. He still had trouble getting air into his lungs and his ribs hurt; he could barely breathe, let alone speak. He just wished Serena would look at him and see the truth in his eyes, but she didn't; she stared into thin air, misery painting her beautiful face grey. She didn't argue any more.

Another one of the men grabbed onto the back of Daniel's shirt and hauled him up onto his feet. “ _Get up and walk!_ We're almost there.”

And sure enough they soon stepped out of the Blean's thick mass and the tall oak trees came into sight. Daniel fisted his hands. He was arriving at his trial.

The group of men lead them up to the front door. Murphy hammered his large fist against the door, and not long after a butler opened and allowed them inside. Serena's breathing picked up. Daniel knew that she was scared senseless. He wanted to comfort her and tell her not to worry, but right at this moment that proved difficult. In all honesty, he wasn't afraid of what was going to happen to him; the only thing he feared was that he might never get to see Serena again.

Stepping inside, Daniel had to constrain himself not to gape in awe. The house was much larger than Henrietta's, and the interior was certainly much more expensive. He had never been in a place this luxurious and beautifully decorated, but he didn't get much time to admire the furnishings. He was brought promptly through the large main hall and into a fireplace lounge; one the size of the kitchen, living room and front hall back home at the Wilkinson estate put together.

Daniel was thrown onto the soft carpeted floor. At least Murphy and his men finally had let go of him. He quickly lifted himself off the ground and buttoned his shirt completely – which the idiots hadn't given him a chance to do earlier – so that he could look a little bit more respectable. Then he looked up at the people before him.

In front of the fireplace sat Serena's family and their friends in extravagant couches and lush armchairs. Hilmar and Magdalena, Katharina, Regina and Jemma, a few aristocrats, Regina's suitor Nathaniel Sawyer, and Serena's governess. They all looked down at him, the fire from the furnace reflecting in their eyes. It was clear what they saw when they looked at him; an insect that needed to be exterminated.

But then Daniel saw one other person, the only one in the room that managed to make him uneasy – his father. He stood in the shadows of the fireplace, his tall, broad form leaning against the wall and arms crossed. The look on his face was unmistakable; he clearly had had enough of all the trouble, his son was causing.

Hilmar stood up from his armchair, his arms folded behind his back. He was a handsome middle-aged man, tall, rank and majestic, his skin white as snow and his red slicked back hair saturated by the orange light of the fire. He wore an exquisite dark green robe that looked quite comfortable, with a purple tie to match. The light from the fireplace lit his face up from below, making him appear even more intimidating. He was the kind of man who anyone would find very charming and amiable, but whom one definitely didn't want to cross.

“So you are the boy I've been told about,” the industrialist said, walking closer to Daniel with slow, considered steps. Daniel kept his gaze low. The man's voice was deep and calm, almost soothing. “The dirty little rascal that tried to seduce and _defile_ my youngest daughter.”

“Father, please don't- !” Serena said, but one single look from her mother made her shut her mouth as quickly as she had opened it.

Daniel continued to avoid Hilmar's gaze and instead discreetly eyed Serena's sisters. They were gorgeous young women, each one of them; it was obvious that they were the daughters of Magdalena da Silva. Katharina and Regina looked full of regret and shame, but Jemma on the other hand studied him curiously. She looked around at all the tense adults in the room with the same round doe eyes that Serena possessed.

Hilmar stopped right in front of him. “Stand up, son.” Daniel hesitated, but then got up on his feet. He was almost as tall as the man before him. The wealthy Icelander turned to Murphy and his men. “So, where did you find them? Was the pauper boy right about the house? And what did this bastard do to Serena?”

“Yes, the blond was right, sir,” Murphy grumbled, scratching his thick black beard, “The house was located a long distance from here, far up in the Blean. We found the pervert _assaulting_ your daughter, holding her down to the ground whilst he forced his filthy tongue down her throat and his dirty hands on her chest!” He looked like he wanted to spit Daniel right in the face.

Serena's cheeks flushed hot with anger and embarrassment. “He didn't assault me!”

“ _ **Serena!**_ _”_ Magdalena hissed at her youngest, “You either keep your mouth shut or go to your room at once!”

She pressed her lips together, her brown eyes glossy in the light from the fire. Regina reached out for her. “Come here, Sera,” she spoke softly. Serena accepted the offer and went to sit beside her older sister; the blonde put her arms around the girl, sending Daniel a reproachful glance.

Hilmar nodded at Murphy. “Give that boy a farthing as a reward,” he said, “If it hadn't been for him, I might never have found out about this.”

Daniel gritted his teeth and fisted his hands tighter. He would never forgive Henry this. Never.

The industrialist turned to look at an older woman so overly dressed up in an attempt to look fashionable she merely ended up looking ridiculous instead. “And you, Miss Farrell, you might want to stop gossiping so much with my wife and start keeping an eye on my daughter instead. If you want to keep your job, that is.” If Miss Farrell blushed, no one would be able to see for the amount of pink rouge on her wrinkly cheeks. Serena's mother pursed her lips.

Hilmar turned his attention to the young man in front of him. He walked closer to him, “Now, tell me, boy. What kind of corrupt thoughts ran through your mind as you put your hands on my pure and innocent daughter, huh? What made you think you had the right to even as much as _glance_ at her?”

Daniel saw Serena close her eyes and hide her face in the nook of Regina's neck; she was unable to witness the scene. He bit his lip, rubbing his fingers against each other. He really wanted the thundering in his temples to stop.

“Well?”

Hilmar's voice raised a bit in volume. Daniel sighed and finally gathered the courage to look up and meet the plutocrat's hazy blue eyes. He moistened his lips and swallowed a lump in his throat. “All I could think of,” he spoke, “was how much I adore her.”

Nothing but the crackling of the fire could be heard in the room. Serena's sisters stared at the young man with their mouths agape, unable to believe his nerves. Magdalena averted her gaze to her folded hands on her lap, her mouth a tight line. It seemed like everyone in the room gasped silently. Serena opened her eyes, the fire reflecting in her brown wide orbs.

Hilmar nodded slowly. He appeared to be deep in thought. For a moment Daniel thought that the rich man might actually accept his excuse. But then he slapped Daniel with so much force, the boy ended up on the floor. Everyone jumped in surprise.

“ _HOW_ _ **DARE**_ _YOU, YOU BASTARD!”_ Serena's father roared. His tone had completely changed. “YOU WILL _**NEVER**_ AGAIN COME NEAR MY LITTLE GIRL! I WARN YOU, I WILL NOT HESITATE TO SHOOT YOU WITH MY FAVOURITE RIFLE IF I EVER SEE YOUR DISGUSTING FACE AGAIN! _**ARE WE CLEAR?**_ _”_

Serena started crying, and Regina pulled her into her arms and made her look away. Katharina covered her mouth with her hand, stopping midst in fidgeting with her long dark curls. _“Hilmar!”_ Magdalena shouted and stood up, “ _Not_ in front of the girls!”

Hilmar breathed heavily, staring at Daniel with wide mad eyes. Tall and threatening, the red mane gave him the appearance of a lion ready to attack its prey – and he did look very ready to kill Daniel on the spot to protect his beloved cub.

Daniel wiped the blood running down from the corner of his mouth and looked up at the industrialist before him again, defiance in his light green eyes. He wasn't afraid of getting shot.

Finally John stepped forward. The artisan walked over to his son and grabbed him by the arm, hauling him up onto his feet. Daniel struggled not to wince at the harsh grip. “I am terribly sorry about my son's behaviour, Mr. Thórsson. I swear, if I had known, I would have put an end to it immediately. I promise you that I will make sure he never goes near your family again, and he _will_ be punished.”

Not even his own father was going to defend him, but that was to be expected. Daniel fisted his hands so hard his knuckles turned white, gritting his teeth together; _of course_ John would have put an end to it if he had known, but he didn't because he had neglected his children the whole time! The anger was fuming within Daniel. He was being undermined right in front of Serena and her family. It was so humiliating, it hurt.

“I _certainly_ hope so!” Hilmar barked at John, “Tell me, don't you even keep an eye on your own children? That boy of yours should be _locked up!”_

_Darkness. Fire. Glowing eyes._

Daniel's eyes widened as images suddenly flashed before his eyes. The blood in his veins turned to ice. Serena saw the expression on his face.

John swallowed hard, not finding the irony of the industrialist's words very amusing at all. It was the first time the man had ever restrained himself. “I agree, sir.”

Suddenly Serena broke free of Regina's arms and jerked up. Everyone in the room jumped in their seats. _“No!”_ she cried and pointed at John, “Don't you hurt him! He is your _son!_ How can you do this? Leave him alone, you- !”

“Serena, be quiet!” Katharina said and grabbed her sister's arm. She forced her to sit down on the couch between her and Regina again, but Serena struggled.

“ _ **NO!**_ I _know_ what that man does to him! _It's not right!”_

Magdalena stood up from her seat. “You, young lady, go to your room at _once!”_

But Serena didn't listen. The tears streamed down her face as she started screaming hysterically. Nathaniel Sawyer's eyes were wide. The whole scene disturbed him.

Hilmar turned to Daniel, looking like he wanted to wring his neck. _“_ _ **You have ruined my daughter, you dirty piece of trash!**_ _”_ he roared over Serena's distressed cries.

Daniel stared back and forth between the family members with wide eyes, shocked and overwhelmed by the sudden chaos apparently caused by him. His arm throbbed as John tightened his grip. The man leaned very close to his son's ear, hissing, _“What have you told that girl?”_

He swallowed. “Nothing.” John obviously didn't believe him. His nails dug into Daniel's skin, and by this point Daniel was nearly certain that the bloodstream to his arm had been blocked.

Serena's mother ordered Miss Farrell to follow Serena to her room. He could hear her crying and begging for her parents to not let John take him resound through the hall as she was brought away. It was cruel. He wanted to tell her that he would be fine.

“Take your son home!” Hilmar shouted, lashing out with his hand in anger, “I don't want to look at him any more!”

John bowed his head, murmuring, “I will, Mr. Thórsson. I apologise on the behalf of my son.” He turned around and marched out of the fireplace lounge, dragging Daniel along with him. The rest of the family was left speechless.

* * *

Hazel lay in her bed, looking out the window at the courtyard. It was late in the evening, and the moon was full; the air cool, but not chilly.

She heard it when the strangers had come knocking on their door. She sneaked out of her room and crouched by the railing, looking down to the main hall. Charles went to fetch her parents. The men told her father what had happened. He was furious.

Hazel knew that her brother was in big trouble. He hadn't been careful enough, he had been too consumed in his own world. She should be sleeping now, but she couldn't. She followed the two figures in the courtyard with her eyes. The large man didn't drag his son inside the house, but instead went directly for the stables. There he wouldn't have to be careful about making a mess.

Hazel closed her eyes, making a silent prayer. Then she took her bottle of magic and drowned her worries. She lay down in her bed and flew away.

* * *

Daniel let out a small groan as he landed on his ribs on the dirty concrete floor. “What the hell were you thinking, boy?” John bellowed, kicking his son in the side.

The young man winced, but his father fortunately didn't hit his sore left side. He barely got up on his feet and turned around to look at John. “Father, I'm not some pervert! I _love_ her!” he said.

John's eyes widened, but he didn't look like he was happy with that explanation. Before Daniel could say any more, he was met with a large fist to the side of his face; he fell back on the floor, rubbing his jaw. “That is the most stupid thing, I've ever heard!” the artisan said, grabbing onto his son again. He dragged him up on his feet and took a lead hanging over one of the stall gates. “Couldn't you just have stuck to one of your own? Why must it be the daughter of the _wealthiest_ man in Kent? Why must you _always_ cause so much trouble?”

Daniel was still a bit disoriented from taking the hard blow when his father started ripping his ruined shirt off. He didn't even struggle. He knew it was happening whether he liked it or not, and he had learned to accept it. “But I love her…”

John tied his son's hands together in a secure knot, then proceeded to secure the clasp of the lead to a nearby hook on the wall. He didn't care about the dried scabs all over the boy's back. “ _Love!_ ” he spat, loosening his belt, “Boys your age don't know love! You think with one thing only, and it's definitely not the head on your neck, neither your _heart!”_

The belt sliced through the air. The horses in the stalls neighed in shock as the mistreated boy let out an agonised scream. The crusts reopened, and he felt the warm blood stream down his back once more, each and every wound burning like hot embers against his sore muscles.

John breathed heavily. “First the fire at the school,” he growled, then aggressively lashed out with the belt again. Daniel stubbornly swallowed his yells. Sweat ran down his shoulder blades, mixing with the blood. He wanted to cover his back, but his hands were tied firmly.

“ _Then_ ,” John spoke, “you decide to stay away from your own damned _birthday dinner!_ _ **Again!”**_

The belt slashed his back in a split second, cutting through the delicate flesh and leaving a new wound. The young man leaned against the wall, his knees buckling. He feared that these scars would never heal.

The artisan drew his belt back, wiping the blood off it with his sturdy hand. The boy's back was completely smeared in red, making it impossible to see which part of the skin that wasn't damaged. John gritted his teeth, blowing out hot air through his nostrils. “And _now_ ,” he thundered, “you've got the _bloody_ nerves to put your hands on a lady of the high society? _**You're a humiliation!**_ _”_

With the third slash, Daniel's knees finally gave up. He fell onto the ground, moaning in pain. His back nearly felt numb by now, but only nearly.

“Couldn't you have done like your old man?” John roared, “Marry a decent girl of your own class, one like your mother!”

He couldn't keep quiet any longer. “But I _am_ doing like you, Father,” he mumbled through strained breaths.

Suddenly it became oddly quiet, though the tension still lingered in the air. John fisted his large hands. His voice trembled slightly when he said, _“What?”_

Daniel breathed out heavily and bit his lip. No, he wasn't going to stop now. “Chasing women of the upper classes; that's what we Wilkinsons do, isn't it?” he spoke, lowering his head. He locked his gaze on his tied hands. “Or is that only after they've been widowed, so we can grab their deceased husband's money?”

The silence persisted for just a moment. Daniel looked over his shoulder at his father. The man's eyes were mad; he nearly frothed with fury. “You _**SWINE!**_ _”_ he roared, “ _WHO ARE YOU, DEVIL CHILD? YOU ARE NOT MY SON!_ ”

He forced Daniel onto the floor, locking his hand around the boy's throat. Daniel stared up at John, unable to think straight as the oxygen drained from his brain. He couldn't breathe. His chest rose up and down in an increasingly rapid pace as his lungs struggled to catch some air. _“TELL ME WHAT YOU DID TO HER!”_ John thundered. Tears welled up in his eyes. _“HOW MUCH DID YOU RUIN HER? DID YOU FORCE YOUR FILTHY TONGUE INTO HER INNOCENT MOUTH? DID YOU SNEAK YOUR DIRTY HANDS UP UNDER HER PRISTINE SKIRT?”_

Daniel tried to grasp around his father's wrists, but the lead wasn't long enough.

“ _ **DID YOU STICK YOUR DISGUSTING COCK INSIDE HER, SON? DID YOU KNOCK HER GOOD? DID YOU ABUSE ALL THE THINGS I TAUGHT YOU WHEN I THOUGHT THERE MIGHT HAVE BEEN HOPE FOR YOU?”**_

John's face blurred away. Daniel's struggling hands grew weaker as he became dizzy. He barely registered any of the huge man's words any more. His vision was red, blue and yellow, then it began to fade. He felt like his chest was going to explode.

Suddenly the father realised what he was doing. His eyes widened. He let go of his son's throat, quickly scrambling away from the young man who immediately started coughing and gasping for air.

John stared at him with anxious eyes. Daniel didn't know if he was scared of him or himself, but he didn't care at this moment. He crawled on to his knees, the violent coughs soon bringing bloody vomit up with them.

“ _You're a demon_ ,” John whispered.

Daniel was barely done throwing up before he was grabbed by his hair and pulled onto his feet. He was too weak to resist, the only sound escaping him a soft groan. John untied the lead, then dragged him down the stable hallway. “The rich man was right! You should be locked up!”

Daniel's eyes widened. He suddenly realised where his father was taking him, and somehow he managed to gather the strength to resist. _“NO!”_

“ _ **YES!**_ _”_ John roared, easily waving off Daniel's attempts to fight back. He finally reached the end of the hallway, grabbing a bunch of keys hanging on a hook on the wall, then opening the door right next to it; the door to the basement.

“ _FATHER, PLEASE!”_ Daniel exclaimed, his voice raising several pitches. Tears formed in his eyes as he frantically tried to wrestle out of the strong man's grip like a lamb about to be fed to a hungry wolf.

But John was merciless. He shoved his son down the stairs into the darkness, then slammed the door behind him and locked it. _“YOU CAN SPEND THE NIGHT IN THERE! THERE'S NO WAY I WILL ALLOW YOU IN THE HOUSE UNTILL THAT DEMON THAT HAS POSSESSED YOU IS_ _ **GONE**_ _!”_ John yelled through the door, _“GOODNIGHT!”_

The sound of John's quick footsteps through the stable diminished, and then only a few of the horses' snorts could be heard. Daniel couldn't see anything. His whole body was aching, but he didn't have the slightest chance of tending to his wounds. He was sweating, but his skin felt cold and clammy. Only his forehead was burning hot.

Images flashed before his eyes.

_Fire licking the floor, breaking down the walls, devouring everything._

Was he going to die? He couldn't smell the smoke. His pulse raced. More memories formed in the darkness.

_Shadow claws reaching, evil eyes watching him. Monsters everywhere, laughing. Amused by his fear._

And then they appeared.

Daniel backed away, not knowing where he was crawling to. He shivered so violently he stumbled. He couldn't even feel the tears streaming down his face. The figures stepped out of the darkness, and they looked more horrifying than ever. They weren't only shadows, they were disfigured, ugly and menacing, and they all laughed at him.

He couldn't endure this any more. The darkness was going to take him. The shadows were going to consume him. If he didn't get out now, he would _**never escape.**_

* * *

It was silent. The sky outside was completely black and clear, moonlight shining in through the windows and lighting up the stable. Every now and then, a horse snorted and shifted in its stall.

Pride stuck his head outside the box, sending glances down the hallway. Dried blood smeared the dusty concrete floor. It had been hours since the chaos in the stables. It had been hours since the loud noises from the basement had stopped.

But suddenly it started again. The horses neighed and stamped on the floor, surprised by the sudden bang. Pride snorted, scratching his hoof against the stall gate. The other horses stuck their heads out of their boxes to see what was going on. With every crash, the door grew weaker.

The hinges broke, letting the ratty door free. A young man fell on top of it, quickly scrambling away from the dark basement. He had no shirt on, and his whole body was covered in bruises and cuts. Pride neighed, calling for the boy's attention.

He didn't react at first. He grasped on to his head, pulling at his hair. His form shuddered violently. The other horses relaxed again as nothing more happened. The stable was calm.

After a longer while, the young man slowly got up on his feet. Pride called again, and he finally looked at the horse. He made his way to the colt's stall, his legs weak. He opened the stall gate, letting himself inside and settling down in the soft hay. Pride nudged his shoulder, offering some comfort. His rider fondled his soft muzzle. He looked horrible. His eyes were bloodshot and had dark circles underneath; he clearly hadn't gotten any sleep.

No matter how hard he struggled to keep composed, Daniel eventually broke down; he had escaped once again, but he had been so close. A drop of sweat trickled down his forehead, strands of brown hair sticking to his skin. He squeezed his eyes close, fisting his shaking hands. Too much had happened. It was more than he could handle. He just wanted to run away and never return again.

Maybe he should.

The young horse breathed out through its nostrils, letting out warm air on Daniel's shoulder. Daniel looked at Pride, biting his lip as the guilt washed over him in a sensitive moment. The horse could have been the greatest race champion, but had been stuck with him, left to a dull fate as a pet for a silly foolish boy. He remembered the day Mr. Philips had come to deliver Pride; the sadness in the elderly farmer's eyes as he said goodbye to his greatest hope of fulfilling his dream, all because his bloody witch of a stepmother offered a price too high to turn down and wanted to prove a point. It wasn't fair. None of it was fair.

He looked down at the hay around him, not really focusing his gaze on anything. He swallowed a lump, his cheeks dry with salt tears. He was tired. He shouldn't have to take all of this. His father's corporal punishments that nearly bordered on torture. The man had called him a demon. His own father had almost _killed_ him.

He reached a hand in his trouser pocket, pulling out the small locket that he had dug out of the hiding spot in the small house earlier that evening. He clicked it open, looking at the painting inside. The engraving beside it stood crystal clear; _Always be together._

He was not going to put up with it any more. Daniel fisted his hands, a determined look coming over his face. No more. He was over it.

* * *

Early in the morning, Miss Turner came out to the stables. She brought the keys to the basement with her, her brows furrowed deep in worry. Immediately as she entered the building, she noticed the broken door to the basement. She frowned and went down the hallway, her eyes searching.

The boy lay sound asleep in the hay. Pride looked up at the kind housekeeper, flipping his ears forward. He only looked for a moment, though, afterwards focusing his attention on his rider again, gently nudging the young man's bare, damaged back. The man didn't move an inch, his chest rising and falling in steady, calm breaths.

Miss Turner smiled. She opened the stall gate and went inside, gently shook the poor boy awake and brought him back inside the house to have his wounds tended to.

* * *

After getting patched up by Miss Turner and taking a bath, Daniel locked himself up in his room. He slept throughout most of the day, unwilling to eat anything or see anyone. Miss Turner and Charles occasionally knocked on his door to see how he was doing, but there was never any news.

When it became evening, he couldn't sleep any more. He simply lay in his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He had tried to distract himself by reading, but nothing did it help. He was miserable.

But he had a plan.

The servants had given up on trying to get any response out of him by now, so they left him alone in his room. John forbid Daniel from attending the dinner table; he said he didn't want to look at him, and Daniel felt quite the same way about his father. When everyone was busy downstairs eating, he climbed out of the window.

The sky was coloured orange and violet by the late evening sun. Daniel breathed in the fresh cool air, letting it soothe all the wounds on his bruised body. The walk did him good. Seeing the tall oak trees in the distance, he became a bit more aware. He didn't want to be seen; if he got caught this time, surely the industrialist would have his head.

Daniel sneaked around the tall trees, hiding behind them. He moved in the shadows of the bushes and shrubs, making his way behind the house to peek into the garden. It was completely empty, save for the gardener. He frowned, biting his lip. Hopefully, she was home. He went further around the house and looked in through one of the windows. It looked like a living space. Two of the sisters sat in there, one of them playing the piano forte. The looks on their faces were somewhat melancholic.

Daniel continued around the building, looking inside all the many windows. Servants were going at it in the kitchen, cleaning up after the dinner. Mr. Thórsson and his wife still sat in the dining room with all of their friends, chatting and laughing. Daniel took care not to be seen through the window.

At last he found her. In the library, she was sitting alone on the comfortable cushion seat in the bay window, surrounded by stacks of books. He was impressed; he never knew that she read so much in her own time. The large glass double doors stood open, letting in fresh, cool summer air. She drew on her sketchpad, deeply immersed in her art.

Daniel smiled. She looked beautiful with that concentrated look on her face; that slight frown between her groomed curved eyebrows, and the way she pursed her lush pink lips. She was wearing a new choker today; it seemed indeed that she had grown quite fond of them, and he couldn't help but smile as he wondered how many she owned. He sneaked up to the window, gently knocking on the glass.

Serena looked up. Seeing Daniel outside, her slanting brown eyes widened in horror. She shook her head and gestured for him to leave, but Daniel was not going to give in without a fight. He nodded stubbornly, motioning for her to come outside to him. In the end she got up from her seat and walked out to him through the glass double doors. She grabbed his wrist and dragged him with her behind one of the tall, broad oak trees. “What are you doing here? Are you completely mad? My father will kill you!” she whispered frantically, doing large gesticulations with her arms.

Daniel completely ignored her comments. He pressed her up against the tree and caressed her face. “I don't care,” he said, brushing stray strands of dark hair away from her face, “Nothing is going to keep me away from you.”

He leaned down and closer to her. Serena fixed her gaze on his lips, biting her own. She fisted her small hand against his chest, a deep frown furrowing her brows. Just before he pressed his lips against hers, she put up her delicate fingers in front of his mouth. “Daniel, I don't want you to get hurt…”

Daniel snorted, standing up straight. “Do you think it matters to me?” he said, lashing out with his hands, “I could care less about all the others! I am _tired_ , Serena! Exhausted!” He grabbed her shoulders, the corners of his lips tugging in a desperate smile. “Let's run away together. Just you and me. No one will ever find us.”

Serena's eyes widened. “Daniel!”

“We can be happy without anyone interfering! And we could take Hazel with us!” Daniel continued, taking her hands in his. He brought them close to his chest, pressing her hands against his beating heart. “Then I'll marry you, Serena! I'll marry you right away, and we will never return to this wretched place!”

She stared at him, stared into his beautiful, hopeful light green eyes. She couldn't stop trembling. She felt a pricking sensation in her eyes and had to blink. She was going to speak, but then she saw something in the window from the common room. A silhouette stood in the window frame. The figure shook its head. Serena's breath caught in her throat.

“Serena?”

She looked at the boy before her again. He stood there, looking at her with those brilliant eyes and the slight furrow in his forehead, the slightly agape mouth. He looked so lost and so expectant, and it broke her heart to know that his efforts were futile.

Serena averted her gaze to her feet, “Daniel… I am betrothed.”

He didn't respond. Slowly he let go of her hands.

“I… I am betrothed to a man with a good fortune. He is an excellent party for a lady of my standing. I have to… I will be marrying him when I am old enough.” She fell silent.

For a while, none of them said anything. The wind howled gently, blowing through the treetop over them, playfully tangling their hair and making the leaves rattle as they clashed against each other. Everything was calm. The figure in the window had disappeared.

Serena trembled, struggling to keep her emotions at bay. “I… I think it's best if we don't see each other any more.” She clenched her teeth together and swallowed hard.

Daniel looked at her, but he didn't really look at her. It was as if he saw right through her, staring at a ghost. And that was all she had become.

He turned around and walked away. Right then, Serena finally broke into tears.

* * *

She threw herself on the soft bed. The spacious chamber was almost empty now; all of the girl's clothes and belongings lay scattered around on the bed, the desks, and even the floor, waiting to be organised and put into trunks.

Serena was in great pain. She couldn't imagine how she was supposed to ever feel better again. The tears fell, but she struggled to keep her cries down; she had too often been told how unseemly it was for a lady to bawl out loud. One should contain one's feelings. Oh, how she now wanted to throw all those damn rules out the window more than ever before.

While she lay on the bed, her face buried in the silky velvet pillows, the door gently opened. Serena's sobs subsided a bit, but she didn't look up. The door clicked close again, and soon the girl felt a warm hand caress her back. “ _Mi preciosa_ … You know that it was for the best. He would never have been able to provide properly for you.”

Serena didn't respond. She wiped her face, but the pillow was already soaked.

Magdalena gently brushed her fingers through her daughter's dark hair, “You need to finish packing. We're going back to London, and we won't return again.”

The broken-hearted girl merely nodded, swallowing a sob. The beautiful Chilean woman stood up from the bed and walked out of the room, leaving her daughter to cry out.

* * *

Daniel watched as the fancy carriages with the four horses each strolled away on the Great Dover Road, headed north to London.

There was a small month left of the summer vacation. The meadow was as beautiful as usual, peaceful and serene. The River Stour trickled down in a steady stream by his feet. He buried his hands in his pockets, kicking a pebble on the ground. The pebble plunged into the water, making a small audible splash.

He struggled hard not to scream out in anger. It felt like he had had the whole world at his fingertips, and he had been ready to grab it and indulge himself in all the pleasures of it – but then it had suddenly collided, leaving him with only a faint taste of what could have been.

The carriages were nearly out of sight now. He felt something in his pocket. Locking his fingers around it, he realised that it was the locket.

Daniel picked it out of his pocket. He ran his thumb over the heart-shaped medallion, the smooth surface, only interrupted by the small jewels curving along the right side. He moistened his lips and clicked it open, glancing at the perfect portrait inside it.

She smiled at him. It was a gentle but genuine smile, and the eyes were full of life and soul. Either the painter was very talented, else she was just incredibly beautiful. Daniel already knew the answer.

He fisted his hand around the small heart, groaning in anger as he drew his arm back, getting ready to throw the locket as far down the river he could manage. He swung his arm forward, but then the angry expression on his face suddenly changed into a look of anguish. He stopped, his arm midway through the air. He just couldn't do it.

Daniel fell to his knees on the green grass, bending forward and clutching the small locket close to his chest. It felt like his whole being was aching, the pain stemming from his very core. It was too much. He couldn't take it. He couldn't accept it.

Blinking the threatening tears back, he put the locket away again in the small pocket in his waistcoat. It wasn't meant to end like this. This had happened for one reason, and one reason only. He growled in fury, getting up on his feet again. With quick and determined steps, he headed for the small village.

It was all his fault.

* * *

At least she was at peace at last.

That was what the gravedigger had told him in a vague attempt to comfort him. It didn't sound like he meant it, though, and Henry knew as well that his mother wasn't resting. She still had an agonised expression on her face as she was thrown into the hole in the ground, the dirt being thrown onto her putrid body. She didn't even have a coffin; people getting buried in the pauper grave couldn't afford one.

Henry sat alone on the bench in front of the fountain on the village plaza, staring at nothing. He still had some leftovers of the money he had used to acquire the opium, and with them he had bought himself a bottle of beer to drink away his sorrows.

It was a disgustingly lovely day. The sun shined brightly, and the birds chirped and ate away at the small breadcrumbs the children and old people of the village had left for them. Every now and then a few of the villagers walked past him across the square, none of them offering their sympathies. No one had ever liked crazy, bitter Miss Bedloe who had gotten pregnant outside of marriage and disowned by her family.

He swallowed another slurp of the beer, the refreshing, bubbling liquid cooling his throat. It was just what he needed. He didn't know where to go from here. Everything just seemed chaotic and out of control. How was he supposed to move on and be by himself? He had only ever had his mum.

Henry's fingers tightened around the bottle. He shifted his gaze from the ground to look over the plaza, and then his eyes widened. A figure was coming his way, closing in in quick, short steps. He stood up, wanting to leave. He couldn't deal with this, not right now – but if he thought he could be let off that easily, he was very wrong.

“ _ **HENRY!**_ _”_ Daniel roared, grabbing Henry's shirt, “How could you? We had a _deal!”_

The young man shoved the blond violently. Henry was so shocked that he fell to the ground, the gravel cutting his bare forearms. A few of the people nearby stopped what they were doing and stared at the two boys. “Did you think I wasn't going to react? Did you think I was just going to stand by and let you ruin my life? _Again?_ ” Daniel said, kicking Henry's side in his anger.

Henry's body was too sturdy for him to actually take any damage from the kick. He squirmed, but quickly got back up on his feet. Oddly enough he couldn't fight back; he just stared at Daniel in pure shock. It was as if he had lost the spirit.

Daniel grabbed the collar of Henry's shirt, barking right into his face, “I'm _through_ with you! You're nothing but a vile bully, only wanting to make others' lives miserable because of your own selfish bitterness! I'm _not_ going to allow it any more!”

He punched Henry right in the face. Henry could taste the metallic liquid before it ran down his chin, but still he didn't fight back. He merely grasped around the younger man's slender wrists in a weak attempt to make him let go. A small crowd gathered around them, following the fight with great interest. They whispered in between each other.

“Did you think that you had it hard?” Daniel said, once again serving Henry a punch, “You weren't the only one with an ill family member! My sister is dying as well! The only difference is that she was _born_ with her illness, while your crazy mum _chose_ to rot away and leave you behind _**herself!**_ _”_

Another punch to the gut. Henry struggled to catch his breath. Only his mother had ever hurt him like this.

“Do you remember bullying my poor sister, laughing at her for being weak? _Do you, Bedloe?”_

Henry tried to break free, but Daniel merely shoved him onto the ground and jumped on top of him to keep him down, once again punching him in the face. Henry's head was spinning; he had never expected this amount of strength from Daniel, the small, gentle boy whom he had tormented for years.

“You have ruined the only good thing in my life, all because of your damn mother! Tell me, did she even deserve it? Was she worth any of your efforts? She only managed to bring you and everyone around you to despair! You are nothing but a big fat _hypocrite_ , you _**son of a bitch!**_ _”_

And suddenly Daniel crossed a line that brought Henry's spirit back. He couldn't stay passive any more. Finally he felt the anger boil deep within him, but not because he thought that Daniel was wrong – rather because he knew that he was right.

“ _ **DON'T CALL ME THAT!** ”_

Henry overpowered Daniel, forcing him onto the ground instead, but Daniel didn't back down. He didn't get the look of fear in his eyes that Henry was used to and expected. Instead he merely roared and shoved Henry back, so that they both ended up getting back up on their feet again. Henry was taken aback by his strength; he would have never imagined that Daniel of all people would be able to challenge him.

The aforementioned attacked Henry again. This time, Henry fought back, hitting Daniel in his left side. Everyone gasped as Daniel let out an excruciating cry and fell to his knees. Henry stared at him; he didn't even put that much force into the hit. Was he already injured?

Finally someone decided to interfere; Daniel ignored the pain and was about to jump at Henry again when two middle-aged men suddenly grabbed his arms and pulled him back. “I think that's quite enough, you two!” one of the men said, struggling to keep the aggressive young man at bay.

Daniel ignored them. Hot tears welled up in his eyes as he kept thundering at Henry. _**“ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? DID YOU GET WHAT YOU WANTED, HENRY? AM I FINALLY MISERABLE ENOUGH FOR YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE?”**_

Henry breathed heavily, his swamp green eyes wide with shock. The brunet kept screaming at him and struggling to break free of the men's grip, while the other villagers whispered among themselves.

“ _Dear God, this generation's youth is completely deranged...”_

“ _Well, I've never! What a behaviour!”_

“ _People need to educate their children! This is just reckless! What irresponsible parents!”_

Daniel didn't seem to hear any of the comments. He only had his burning, green eyes on Henry.

His roaring, as well as all the other voices, drowned out. Henry just stared at him. He had never felt this disturbed his whole life, and it was his own doing. It was _his_ fault that the perfect and good Daniel had been driven to this violent rage attack. He had broken him – and himself as well – and now he saw that it never had served any purpose. He had achieved nothing; his mother was dead.

He watched as the men forced Daniel to leave the village. He caressed the black eye he had acquired from the fight, wincing a little bit by the touch.

It was time to stop. He was just as tired of himself as Daniel was.

* * *

Daniel slammed the door to his room shut and threw himself on his bed, roaring into the pillow. He bit back the tears and pulled at his hair, not knowing what to do with himself. Why was life so unfair to him? Why did he have to be pushed around like this? It was too much! The world might as well have been shrouded in darkness now, for he had lost the love of his life.

As he lay there, just wishing the whole world would disappear and wanting most of all to be left alone, the door opened. Daniel looked up, only to groan and bury his head in the pillow again. She was the very last person, he wanted to see. “Go away, Henrietta.”

Henrietta ignored his request, closing the door behind her. She slowly took a few steps closer to his bed, her hands folded in front of her. “Daniel, surely you didn't actually expect things to turn out any other way?”

Daniel aggressively sat up, pointing at her in a fit of anger, “Watch your mouth! I still know about Mr. Evans! What should keep me from telling my father about your disgusting secret now?”

“Let me remind you that Hazel is only barely alive,” Henrietta said, her voice as stern and cold as her eyes, “and the fact that she even is is only due to _my_ money.”

He seethed with fury. Never had he felt this much hatred for anyone before. How dared she use Hazel against him? How dared she barge into his room and bother him with her stupid comments about how idiotic he was to believe that he actually had a chance with Serena? Who did she even think she was? She was an _Ice Queen!_

A small smile tugged at Henrietta's thin lips, as she nonchalantly continued, “Besides, you wouldn't want to ruin your father's happiness, now would you? You should know how that feels.”

How he genuinely hated that woman. She managed to trigger each and every red button within him. “My father couldn't _possibly_ be happy with a hag like you!” he spat, his words dripping acid.

Henrietta didn't look offended. In fact, she didn't look like the words affected her at all. At least not the way, Daniel would have liked them to. She merely let out an arrogant chuckle, waving her hand in a dismissive gesture and shaking her head as if Daniel was being incredibly silly. “Daniel,” she said, “money _is_ happiness. And your father is much happier with me than he ever was with your poor mother.” She turned around and went to the door, grabbing the door handle. Before opening the door, she added, “Just like Miss da Silva will be much happier with her fiancé than she could ever be with you.”

With those last words, she walked out the door, leaving Daniel to his misery.

 


	29. Too Far Gone

**1835**

A year passed.

All of a sudden, Hazel's condition deteriorated drastically. She started having seizures again, but not like the ones she had when she was younger. These were much more aggressive. At night, her brother would wake up to the sounds of his baby sister crying and screaming, and he would rush into her room, only to find the white sheets stained with red.

Hazel looked more dead than alive. Her eyes weren't bright green and sparkly any more; her pupils were pinpointed, her skin completely pale – by the exception of her blue lips – and her thick, sandy blonde hair had no sheen. She was drowsy and inattentive, weak, her skin cold and clammy, her pulse disquietingly low, and she always complained about nausea and aches in her body. She weighed next to nothing, for she didn't eat; all she wanted to consume was water.

No one could figure out how a simple lung defect could suddenly break out like this. It was strange, for she always took her morphine.

Doctor Tate was called in after Hazel's parents became tired of her brother's pestering. Even though he wasn't scheduled for Canterbury or other cities in Kent at that time of the year, he travelled all the way from London anyway to check up on the young girl. When he finished, he had a worried look on his face. He shook his head, “I am awfully sorry. A few months, a year at the most. That's all, she has left.”

After that, Daniel's schooling went sharply downhill. He didn't pay much attention to his homework. He couldn't sleep at night. Sometimes, he didn't even show up to the classes. He immersed himself in books upon books to try and forget about all that was troubling him, but it eventually resulted in him also forgetting about his friends. They gave up on trying to make contact.

It was when the cakes in the locked cabinet of treats in the kitchen started disappearing that Headmaster Wallace couldn't deal with it any more. Owen and the others tried to defend him, but due to his bad history – including the Advent incident and the fire in the stables – no one believed that Daniel was innocent. Wallace decided to dismiss him. Daniel didn't even care any more. It all seemed pointless; he was going to be an artisan anyway. He didn't need the education. Neither he nor his friends ever found out who actually stole those cakes.

His father took it surprisingly well. When Daniel had packed all of his things and returned home from the school for good, John decided that he should now be helping out in the studio full-time. There were no harsh punishments, no scoldings. While working on a new sculpture, he merely said, “You're not going back to school. I don't want any more trouble with you. Are we clear?”

Daniel nodded and answered in a hoarse, barely audible voice, “Yes.”

John was exhausted. His daughter was dying, and his son apparently incapable of doing anything that could be spoken even remotely positive of. Now that Hazel's condition had broken out so severely, even more money went into the expenses of her treatment – but it just didn't seem to get any better.

After everything that had happened throughout the past year, Daniel found himself in a really bad place. He had grown increasingly more indifferent. He felt no motivation. He didn't keep in touch with his friends in spite of them writing to him often. He didn't spend any time on himself. It just seemed like there was no point, for everything kept getting worse. He had tried to erase everything that had happened by keeping himself busy, but as more and more parts of his life started to tumble down the memories and pain kept coming back to haunt him, and sometimes it left him lying awake at night, punching his fist into the pillow and biting his lip to keep himself from screaming. He had lost everything. His life had become so meaningless. The darkness, he had tried so hard to escape from, had engulfed him in the blink of an eye. In the dark place in which he was now trapped, he had only one weak source of light; Hazel – and even that flame was dying out.

Even as Daniel had become so careless about everything in his life, Hazel still was that one thing he would never give up on. She was all he had left, the only thing that still mattered to him, and he desperately held on to this light for dear life. He would do anything to keep Hazel alive for as long as possible, for he just couldn't accept it. He couldn't lose her as well. This was the reason why Daniel took the job at the merchant's.

When Daniel didn't help his father in the studio, he devoted himself to taking care of Hazel. He knew that John needed all the support he could get to pay for her expensive treatment, and the good Mr. Clark was in need of a young, strong boy to help out when travelling around the region for the market seasons – and he paid well. The market seasons usually lasted about a fortnight, and took place in the autumn, spring and late summer. All that Daniel earned was spent on Hazel's medication, just like before Henrietta, when John was too caught up in his own sorrow to provide for his children.

The whole year had been very turbulent, to say the least. When summer fell over England and Canterbury once again was in full bloom, the large white mansion with the tall oak trees had been put on sale. Daniel already knew, but he had to go and see for himself.

The house was completely empty. The garden had overgrown a bit. All of the beautiful furniture had been removed. The library had no books any more. In the bay window sat no one. It was almost beautiful, in a hauntingly tragic sense. She wouldn't return again.

Hazel spent all summer in bed. He always read to her after helping Father with his work. In his mind he was like Scheherazade, and as long as he kept telling the story she would not die. No matter how hard he worked, his efforts only barely kept her alive, though. Daniel was exhausted, but he never gave up. He was not going to lose Hazel.

In late July, shortly after he had turned eighteen and finally become what most would call 'a young man of age', he went with Mr. Clark to display his items on the annual summer fair around Kent. When he returned one early afternoon in August, he didn't know that he would come home to what could only be described as a stranger's house.

After having fixed Pride up after the long trip and put him back in his box, he went inside the house. It was as quiet and calm as always. So far, he suspected nothing. “I'm home!” he called out.

There was no answer right away. He reckoned that his parents were busy doing whatever they thought important; that being Henrietta embroidering some new handkerchief for John, and John ordering the servants around.

But soon Miss Turner appeared in the doorway to the kitchen, cleaning her hands in her apron. She smiled at him as he hung his coat on the hall stand. “Oh, Daniel! You're back! How was the trip, did Mr. Clark make some good deals?” she said cheerfully as she came to give the grown young man, who had become incredibly tall all of a sudden, a hug.

Daniel smiled, embracing the small woman back. “Indeed. I've made quite the fortune this time. I'm sure Hazel will feel better any time now! Speaking of which, how is she?” Miss Turner's smile halted. Daniel immediately noticed the change in her eyes. He frowned. “What is it? Did something happen? Another seizure?”

She averted her eyes from his. “Daniel, I think you should talk to your parents about this…”

“What do you mean? Where is she?”

He immediately let go of her and began climbing the stairs. Miss Turner looked up at him alarmed, calling at him from the foot of the staircase, “Daniel! Please!”

Daniel didn't listen. He ran upstairs, jumping several steps at a time, took a few quick steps down the hallway and burst open the door to his sister's room. What he saw inside was not quite what he expected.

It was empty. Almost, at least. The bed was gone. In fact, most of the furniture was. The room looked like it was about to be refurnished into an office.

He stared around the room. This could not be right. This was Hazel's room. Two weeks ago, he had embraced her and told her goodbye right here. Where was she now? Had she been relocated?

Daniel walked back down the hallway to the stairs, only to find Henrietta down in the main hall, talking to Miss Turner whose kind features now were furrowed in a worried expression. Henrietta's face was as stoic and cold as always, though. He descended the stairs. “What is going on, Henrietta? Where is Hazel?”

Henrietta looked up at her stepson, her facial expression not changing an inch. “Oh, Daniel. It's good to see that you're home again.”

Daniel reached the end of the stairs, growling at the woman, “Don't mess around with me! Where is she?”

“What is going on here?” John entered the main hall, obviously bothered by all the commotion. When he saw Daniel, he raised his eyebrows, but he didn't look happy at all. His voice was as deep and monotonous as ever, “Oh. You're home.”

“Father, where is Hazel?” Daniel said, losing his patience. He noticed how his parents sent each other knowing glances; his father almost appeared uneasy while Henrietta still seemed utterly impassive. Daniel could see her mask unravelling, though.

“Son, you know that we can't do this,” John said, burying his hands in his pockets and shaking his head, “It's not in our hands any more. We… She's just not getting any better, Daniel, and we can't afford it. We put her in the Canterbury hospice.” Henrietta's face stayed completely deadpan, but she couldn't look up at her family members any more; instead she kept her gaze locked on the floor.

Daniel stared at his father, light green eyes wide. His mind was working at full throttle, trying to process what all this implied. As the true meaning became clear to him, as he realised that all his hard work had been futile – that his parents had given up, that they didn't _respect one bit_ how much he needed this – he felt something crack inside him. Something that had become very fragile throughout the past year. “You put her in a hospice … without even discussing it with me first?”

John and Henrietta glanced at each other.

Daniel trembled. He fisted his hands and clenched his teeth together. “While I was away, unable to protest and do anything about it?”

“Daniel, she is dying!” John said in a strict, warning tone, but that didn't intimidate his son. The young man stamped hard on the floor.

“ _ **AND YOU'RE NOT GIVING HER A CHANCE!**_ _”_ he barked, “You _**never**_ did!”

Everyone gasped. John's narrow grey eyes widened in shock.

Henrietta took matters into her own hands and placed a hand on Daniel's shoulder. “Please, Daniel, we have done everything we can for her.”

Daniel looked at her with nothing but disgust. _“You!”_ he snapped, rapping her hand away aggressively, “It was your idea, wasn't it? Didn't you say that it was _your_ money that kept her alive? Huh?”

“Daniel, calm down right this instant!” John yelled, but his words and the angry note in his voice no more affected the boy like they used to. He looked at his father with a gaze so intense, John's breath caught in his throat when he saw all those repressed emotions, things kept quiet that were finally set free.

Daniel's eyes blinked rapidly. “You never loved us, did you?” he cried, punching his fist into the hall desk beside him, “You never loved your own children! You only ever loved Mum! And you _hated_ us because she died! _You blamed Hazel for her death!”_

Miss Turner covered her mouth in shock. The other servants peeked out from the kitchen and hallways to see what was going on.

“And even despite that, you completely forgot about our mother when you finally had money! You've always been so caught up in yourself that you forgot about the ones who needed you the most! But we got by anyway, _without_ you!” he continued, pointing at John whose face had grown awfully pale. The tears found way down the boy's flushed cheeks. “You pushed us _away!_ You never even gave Hazel a chance! It even took you years to cancel her membership in that damned funeral club, didn't it?!”

He fell silent. The tension still lingered in the air as the echo of Daniel's yells died in the hall. Everyone looked at John. The man couldn't look his son in the eyes. He kept his gaze locked on his feet. Daniel couldn't believe it. “You never cancelled her membership,” he whispered, his voice shaking slightly, “did you?”

John merely closed his eyes, his brows knitted together in regret.

Daniel swallowed hard, nodding. “I've had enough,” he said, his chest rising in heavy, but calm breaths, “I've had enough of both of you.” Those were his last words, before he grabbed his coat again and walked out the door, slamming it shut behind him.

* * *

John was a changed man. He craved to be left alone in the living room, only letting his wife in with him. Henrietta watched as he sat in the armchair, burying his face in his hands. She saw that he was in great pain, but his pride didn't allow him to cry. Henrietta sighed and took another sip of her tea, trying to quell her nerves. For the past twenty minutes since the young man had left the house, everything had been eerily quiet. Both of the children were gone, but somehow, their collective anger and melancholy lingered.

It had only been a matter of time. Henrietta had witnessed the rage building up within the boy; it had already been alarmingly obvious the first time she met him. She knew that someday he would explode. The family had really gone too far, and now everything was shattered to pieces. It wasn't supposed to end like this. It really wasn't.

Henrietta glanced at her husband once again, studying his trembling form, observing his fight against his inner demons, and for a moment she wondered who would win. His son had taken a lot after him. Maybe it was time that they repaired their relationship.

John couldn't contain it any more. Barely audible sobs escaped him. He pulled hard at his brown, slightly greying locks, trying to distract himself with physical pain, but little did it help.

The woman stood up from her seat by the window, walking towards the main hall. “I need to run an errand,” she said. John didn't answer.

She knew exactly where he had gone to.

* * *

Daniel stepped inside the bright room. The window was open, letting in fresh, cool summer air. The room was small, and nearly empty with the exception of a chest of drawers, a chair and a single bed with a bedside table beside it near the window. Everything was impeccably clean and white, but without personality. A small, fading figure lay in the bed; as she saw the tall young man in the doorway, she struggled to sit up and offered a weak smile. “Hello, Daniel,” Hazel said, “I'm so glad to see you!”

Seeing her like this, so pale and thin and fragile, it couldn't help but moisten Daniel's eyes. He swallowed his tears back and quickly went to sit beside his sister on the chair, pulling her into a warm embrace without saying anything.

“Please, tell me a story, Daniel,” she said with her sweet, light voice.

Daniel pulled back, forcing a smile and discreetly wiping his eyes with his sleeve. “Once upon a time, there was a barren and desolate land,” he said, his voice shaking slightly as his throat betrayed him, “Nothing existed but darkness, ashes and cold, and the people were miserable. The… The stars saw the land and knew that they would never be able to light it up by themselves. They collected their stardust through one hundred years, and a girl was born from it.”

Hazel closed her eyes, just listening to the gentle, calm sound of her brother's voice that had become so deep over the years. She never really noticed, but he had indeed grown a lot.

“The girl became a woman in one day. She was named Hazel by one of the stars. The star handed her a candle and told Hazel to go to the core of the world and light it. Hazel accepted and went on her way. She followed the star to the Underworld, for according to the star, that was the only way to get to the core...” Daniel paused, once again struggling to keep his voice straight. When he felt sure that his vocal cord wouldn't suddenly crack, he continued, “She arrived at the entrance. The guardian by the gate was merely a skeleton in an armour. It told her that to gain entrance to the Underworld, she had to answer a riddle. Hazel accepted the challenge, and the bony guard said, _**You cannot see me, hear me or touch me. I lie behind the stars and alter what is real, I am what you really fear. Close your eyes and I come near. What am I?**_ ”

The small girl opened her eyes again and gently placed a hand over Daniel's. He looked at her in confusion. She merely smiled at him and whispered, “I know the answer, Daniel.”

He let out a soft chuckle, smiling back at her. “Then tell me.”

“It is what you have always feared,” she said and closed her eyes again. She squeezed his hand and let out a soft sigh, then looked up at him again. “I'll protect you from it, Danny. _**The darkness.**_ ”

Daniel averted his gaze to his feet. Hazel wasn't the one who was supposed to protect him. He was the older brother. All this time he fought and struggled, but she ended up in a hospice anyway, and now she was just waiting to die – all because he couldn't take care of her properly. He squeezed his eyes close, continuing the story, “It was thanks to the star that she figured out the answer. The darkness feared the bright light of the star. She told the guard her answer, and it bowed down for Hazel, letting her pass through the gate. Hazel and the star walked for a while until they reached an abyss, where dead bodies of lost souls, both rotten and fresh, lay scattered all over. A crumbling bridge was the only way to the other side, but as Hazel placed one step on it, it fell apart and tumbled down into the nothingness.”

He opened his eyes, glancing at Hazel. The young girl had closed her eyes again, breathing in softly through calm breaths. Only a slight wheezing escaped her throat. Daniel wondered if she had fallen asleep, but continued his story nonetheless, “Hazel was a clever girl. She weaved a rope out of the hair of the dead; it was strong enough to carry her, and she climbed over.”

Apparently Hazel wasn't asleep. Just then, she opened her large, round eyes again. “Hazel is so brave.”

Daniel smiled and nodded, caressing Hazel's soft hair. “She is indeed. When Hazel and the star finally reached the core, they found a terrifying, bloodthirsty dragon that was resting by the gate. The star told Hazel that she couldn't touch any of the golden treasures the dragon protected, else it would wake up and devour her.”

By now, Hazel was completely immersed in the story. Her eyes were unfocused, staring up into the ceiling without aim. Daniel studied her soft features, the beautiful face that had taken so much after their mother. Evelyn lived on within Hazel. If he were to lose her too, he wouldn't be able to handle it. She was the only memory he had left.

He clenched his teeth together stubbornly, grasping on tightly to his thigh so that his trousers became wrinkled. Composing himself, he continued, “Hazel sneaked past the dragon, but when she neared the gate she couldn't resist all those sparkly diamonds and jewels, and she touched them. The dragon woke up and began chasing Hazel with a feverish blood thirst. Fortunately the star came to her rescue, but at the expense of Hazel's mistake the star burned out by the cold breath of the dragon.”

Suddenly Hazel began sobbing softly as a single tear made its way down her cheek. “I'm sorry, Daniel,” she said, sniffling, “Oh, how I hate that the star has to die. Why was Hazel so stupid? Why couldn't she defend herself? The star shouldn't have to suffer because of her…”

Daniel tilted his head, frowning. He didn't know why it affected Hazel so much all of a sudden; it was true that it had always made her sad in the past, but he had never seen her suddenly break into tears like this. He caressed her cheek, wiping her tear away. She looked at him with her large, glinting eyes. “Don't be sad, Hazel,” he said, smiling as he repeated the exact same words his mother had told him, “She avenges the star eventually, remember?”

Hazel sniffled once again, wiping her eyes, “She does?”

He frowned, feeling slightly confused. “Yes, of course. You already know how the story goes, Hazel.”

She merely nodded as her crying subsided. It was a bit strange, but Daniel decided not to linger by it too much. He took a deep breath and continued, “Hazel escaped just in time, and the gate closed behind her. She found herself in a completely dark room with only one light up ahead. Hazel got closer and saw that the light came from a candle with a silver flame. She reached out for it, and suddenly the flame grew large in an attempt to absorb her.”

Daniel paused and looked at Hazel. She seemed lost in her own thoughts. As silence continued to take over the room for an extended amount of time, she suddenly noticed that he had stopped. She looked at Daniel, beckoning for him to continue, “Finish the story, Danny.”

He blinked in surprise, but then nodded. “Hazel was caught up in the flame, but as she was born of stardust, she didn't burn – instead the flame turned gold and expanded. It filled the whole core, and Hazel dashed to the sky.”

Hazel looked up at Daniel, and her eyes looked more alive than Daniel had seen them in a long time. Both tragedy, melancholy and happiness overwhelmed him at once as memories came rushing back; memories of a healthier Hazel who romped about on her short legs, only two years of age. Of a Hazel a bit older, eager to help out with the cooking, and glowing with vitality every time she was allowed outside into the world. And strongest of all, memories of his own mother – first smiling at him with a love so strong, the kind only a mother could offer – then her fragile body sinking down into the old couch; her sighing as she drew her last breath.

Life and death. Such simple words which held so much meaning. Though complete opposites, it seemed that there was only a fine line between the two concepts. Daniel felt himself tremble as he finished the tale. “She kept burning her golden light and became the brightest star in the heavens, the star we know as the sun and light. The land became fertile.” He blinked, fighting to keep the tears at bay. “Hazel, the sun, the strongest symbol of life that could ever be.”

Hazel nodded slowly. Her eyes were glazed over. For a while they sat in comfortable silence. The birds chirped happily outside. It was a lovely day in Canterbury. The hospice wasn't located in the town centre, but a little ways outside, surrounded by beautiful fields and tall trees. At least it didn't look like a place where people came to die.

Finally Hazel turned her gaze towards Daniel. She took his hand again and smiled. “I have to confess something, Daniel,” she said. Her lashes fluttered down, her smile halting a bit. “All my life … I've wanted to be as brave and strong as Hazel in the story... I wanted to be able to live up to the name you gave me, but I…” Tears started to form in her eyes, “I never could… I am nothing but a great disappointment that always needs protection… I'm sorry that I couldn't be as great as Hazel, Daniel…”

Another crack added to the pieces of the young man's broken heart. Daniel bit his lip, feeling a deep sense of guilt coming over him. He never meant to set expectations for Hazel by giving her the name of the morning star. It wasn't what he intended. “No, Hazel,” he said, leaning forward and cupping her face in both his hands, “Listen to me. You surpassed Hazel a long time ago. You are good. You are kind. You are strong and have a brave heart. Nothing in the whole world could ever come close to how magnificent and beautiful you are. Don't ever feel that you are a disappointment. You could never be, and _never_ to me! Do you understand?” He gave her a small peck on her burning hot forehead, “And I promise that you're not going to die, Hazel. I won't allow it. I will never give up on you.”

Hazel smiled, unable to keep her tears back any more. She sat up and pulled her brother into an embrace, letting everything out. “Thank you so much, Daniel. I trust you.”

Daniel stroked her long hair down her back, clutching her small form tight. He bit his lip, unsure how he was going to say this. He knew he had to, but it made him so sad to know that this might be the last time he would see her for a long time. He just couldn't take it any more. He couldn't stay. “Hazel,” he said gently, squeezing her even tighter in his arms, “I… I'm going to London.”

Hazel finally pulled away, looking at Daniel with round, doll-like emerald eyes. “Are you really?”

Daniel nodded, an apologetic look draping his face. “Yes. I … I cannot stay here any more, Hazel. I just … can't.”

She nodded, a small but genuine smile forming on her lips. “Daniel... Do you remember when we went to the Cathedral to get me baptised, and you asked me what I prayed for during the service?”

He frowned as he recalled that autumn morning five years ago, back when Doctor Tate had first deduced that his sister was dying. They had gone to the Canterbury Cathedral to baptise Hazel, and Daniel had told her to think really good about what she was going to pray for during the service.

_Not all prayers are fulfilled, but if the Lord finds yours to be meaningful enough, he will grant your wish._

Daniel moistened his lips and nodded, “Why, yes, I do.”

Hazel smiled brightly at him, brushing her small, slender fingers through his chocolate hair as her eyes welled up. “I prayed that one day you would be able to escape this dark place and go make a name for yourself, follow your dream. And that you would have a better life… The life that you deserve, Danny.”

It was too much. All these years, and he never knew just how great a person his darling baby sister had grown up to be, so selfless and pure; she had been his guardian angel all along.

Daniel broke down, salt liquid streaming down his cheeks. He brought a hand up to cover his eyes, wiping away the tears as he tried to speak through the sobs, “Hazel, I won't forget you! I promise that whatever happens I'll come back to get you, and then I'll take you with me to London so that you can get the treatment you need! Just promise me back that you will wait for me. Don't stop believing and don't ever give up! Do you understand?” He grabbed both her hands in his and kissed them. “You have to go on, Hazel. Go on for me, all right?”

Hazel broke into tears as well. She tried to stifle her crying, but she simply couldn't. She nodded, her shoulders trembling violently as she put her arms around her brother's neck and embraced him hard once again. “I promise, Daniel. I'll never give up. I believe in you!”

The siblings held on to each other for as long as they could, knowing that this was the last time they would see each other in a long time.

* * *

Daniel closed the door to Hazel's ward behind him. He turned around to make his way back down the hallway, planning to head back home and pack his bags, but he stopped in his tracks as he saw the figure standing before him.

Henrietta looked at him, shaking her head. The silence persisted between them. At last, she took a deep breath and spoke, “You know that I don't have anything to hold against you any more, so why didn't you tell your father about Mr. Evans when you had the chance?”

He blinked a few times, though otherwise keeping a completely straight face. She noticed him fisting his hands. “John is already too far beyond help,” he said, “and he isn't worth it any more.”

The woman looked as expressionless as ever. She merely nodded, “I see.”

Daniel continued on his way, walking directly past her. He didn't get far before the sound of her voice made him stop again.

“I could never kill John, Daniel,” Henrietta said.

He didn't respond. He just stood there with his back turned to his stepmother, waiting for her to continue.

Henrietta paused for a bit, her mask beginning to crack as memories played out behind her eyes. “I always wanted children,” she said in an unusually soft voice, “but I couldn't bear any. Miscarriage upon miscarriage. It tore me up inside.”

Daniel kept silent.

“And Robert always reminded me. He tormented me for years, putting the blame of our failed pregnancies on me. But I never said anything. I loved him. I really did.” Henrietta shook her head, carefully wiping an escaped tear from her eye. “Suddenly he was struck by a terrible disease. Believe it or not, he looked even worse than your poor sister. It pained me to see him like that. He suffered so much that he even begged for me to take his gun and shoot him already. But I couldn't.”

Still no response. The young man merely stood solid on the ground, staring forward through the open window at the end of the hallway.

“That was why I poisoned him,” Henrietta whispered, closing her eyes, “I spent a long time researching and looking for the least painful drug on the market. I couldn't bear to see him like that any more.”

Daniel fisted his hands tighter, licking his teeth behind his lips.

“I put it in his tea. It took less than a minute before he fell unconscious. Five minutes later he didn't breathe any more. He didn't scream, he didn't writhe, nothing. He just silently slept in.” Henrietta stroked her arms as if she was cold. She finally turned around to look at Daniel. He still had his back turned towards her. She sighed. “Daniel, I want you to remember that your father didn't have two pennies to rub together when I met him. It certainly wasn't the money I married him for, and it wasn't the fortune I poisoned Robert Evans for.”

Daniel moistened his lips, deep in thought. His fist loosened up a bit.

“I never meant to replace your mother,” Henrietta said at last, “I apologise, Daniel.”

She fell silent. He lingered in his position for a while, not moving an inch. The air let in through the open windows blew through the hallway, gently tangling in the woman's long skirt and the young man's shoulder-length brown tresses.

Finally he moved. He continued down the hallway, reaching the stairs. He went home.

* * *

John heard the door open. He hadn't moved away from the armchair in the living room. If there was anything John had always been good at, it was grieving.

He looked up from his seat as he heard the person in the hallway walk into the living room. His eyes widened as he recognised his grown son looking down at him with a blank look on his face. John instantly shot up from the armchair, walked up to Daniel and grabbed his shoulders. “My son,” he said, shaking his head, “I am so awfully sorry.” He put his arms around the tall young man, pulling him into an embrace as he began to cry.

Daniel felt strange. The whole situation was surreal. He didn't remember ever having been allowed into his father's arms before, and he hadn't seen him shed any tears since that time he stole some tools from the studio for Henry. He didn't cry himself, though, not any more. Men did not weep.

John sniffled and patted his son's back with his large, sturdy hand before he pulled away from him, taking a good look at the boy. He offered a weak smile through the thick, groomed beard and said, “You have grown into such a fine young man. Your mother would have been proud.”

Daniel didn't answer. He merely averted his gaze.

His father's smile faltered. He hurriedly continued, “Forgive me, Daniel. I know that I have neglected both you and Hazel for way too long. I have so many regrets. All these years I just left my own children to fend for themselves...” He nearly choked on his own tears, trying to swallow them back.

Daniel looked at his father again. It gave John the courage to continue. “Your mother…” he said, averting his gaze as he reminisced, “She had always been awfully fragile, much like your sister. When she got pregnant with Hazel she became very ill, and we didn't know why. Due to the economical crisis, we couldn't afford to get a doctor.” John shook his head and let go of Daniel's shoulders to place his hands on his hips. He took a deep breath. “I loved Evelyn so much. It hurt when she died, Daniel. It hurt a lot. I just wouldn't be able to bear it if I were to lose … another loved one in my life.”

Daniel frowned, tilting his head. He still said nothing.

“I suppose that was the reason why I distanced myself,” John said, clenching his teeth together, “Hazel was too weak. I convinced myself she wouldn't make it, so there was no point getting attached. It would just be too painful when she died.”

“But she's not going to die,” Daniel said.

John looked up at Daniel, a bit surprised that he had finally decided to speak up. But then he merely shook his head, “You are incredibly stubborn. You certainly didn't get that from your mother.” He let out a soft chuckle, perhaps even a little forced. Daniel took a deep breath, pursing his lips. His father's laughter died down, and they stood for a while in silence.

Finally Daniel spoke again, “I'm going to London, Father.” The large man looked up at him with wide eyes and a frown. He hurriedly continued, “To attend the university.” He shook his head with an apologetic look. “I don't want to be an artisan, Dad. I'm going to educate myself to become an archaeologist.”

John looked like another piece of his already broken heart had just been maimed, but for once he didn't take his anger out on his son. He swallowed it down, his face filled with shame and regret. He nodded, unable to look at Daniel any more. “I see. When?”

“Tomorrow morning,” he answered concisely, not bothering to try and sugar coat it any further. His initial plan had actually been to leave the very same evening, but he had changed his mind.

It was too much for John. Realising just how much he had ruined his relationship with his children through the years, he finally broke down completely and wrapped his arms around his son, pulling him into a clumsy embrace.

Daniel didn't know how to react. He merely patted his father's back, biting his lip and frowning in regret. He was sorry, too.

 


	30. Epilogue

Not a cloud covered the sky this lovely morning in Canterbury. The sun shined brightly down on the front courtyard, where the servants loaded the carriage with the young man's luggage.

Daniel fixed his cravat and straightened his waistcoat a bit, his nerves becoming awfully vexing. He grabbed his suitcase and carried it into the seating area of the carriage. His parents stood on the front porch step, keeping watch over the scene. As the last bags finally were ready and loaded, John walked up to his son and grabbed his shoulder.

Daniel turned around to look at his father, confusion evident in those bright green eyes he had acquired from his mother. John took his hand and made it face upwards, then dug into his pocket, finally picking a bunch of bills and putting them into Daniel's hand. Daniel frowned and looked at John. “Don't worry about it,” John said, closing Daniel's hand round the money. “It's just a little help to get you going in the big city. Aren't you bringing Pride?”

Daniel averted his gaze and shook his head. “No. I want you to sell him back to Mr. Philips.”

“Daniel…”

“Tell him to turn him into a stakes winner. He can make it to the Ascot, I know it. And the money should go to Hazel's treatment.”

John sighed heavily, shaking his head in a resigned fashion. “Daniel, he was a gift.”

“Do you understand, Father?” Daniel said, putting emphasis on his words. He gave John a stern look.

His father seemed reluctant but nodded at last, once again placing a hand on his son's shoulder. “All right. You decide,” he said, “Good luck, son. I hope you get your education and become an archaeologist. You sure have the bloody head to accomplish it.”

The two men gave each other a last awkward hug. Daniel wanted to smile, but he couldn't. He just pursed his lips and said, “Thank you, Father.”

He turned his head and glanced at Henrietta. The woman stood as straight and poised as always, her hands folded before her. She merely nodded once at the young man, and he gave her a single nod back. Then he turned around and climbed into the carriage. The coachman closed the door behind him and went to his seat at the front, getting ready to drive off.

Daniel looked out the window at his parents. They looked back at him, their eyes saying more than words ever could. Then the carriage began to move. He glanced at the passing landscape of the beautiful, blossoming Canterbury. He strolled past the fields, the Great River Stour, the Blean, the mill and finally the great white mansion that was now empty, before the carriage made a turn for the Great Dover Road.

And at last he strolled past the hill with the lone ash tree on top of it and the tombstone that rested underneath. Daniel waved. The ash tree swayed a bit in the wind.

With that last farewell, he left Canterbury behind, heading towards his future.

 


End file.
